Onyx laughed lightly when Jamie just flicked his wrist and used his magic. "Showoff," he teased lightly. He wasn't great at magic, but he did know enough to stop the knife. "No magic when I'm cooking," he gave Jamie a grin, turning and dicing the vegetables himself. "I'm not sure if it's a coping mechanism or if I'm just picky but I prefer doing it by hand." He quickly finished, adding the diced vegetables to the pot so they could start to boil and soften. He moved back to the chicken, washing his hands before he began to dice that as well. "It's more satisfying to do it myself, you know? I mean, magic is convenient but it's like... I don't know, it just seems like there's so little I have control of, so little I'm good at. My sister is taking off, you know? She's going to jump into her work, start a career. My uncle is going back to his, Jordie is off to school."
Onyx sighed. "My cousin and her boyfriend are going to travel for a year before going back to college. Doctor and astronomer. Ember has her music, Jasper is taking over Grandmothers company, Amethyst is a writer looking to get published." He finished dicing the chicken and washed his hands before dumping it in a skillet and seasoning the meat. While it cooked he moved to add the noodles to the pot and start cleaning up his mess.
"It's just hard, you know? I'm from this successful family, everyone knows what they want and they're doing it. I mean, even before the attack, I didn't have a solid plan, just something with music. Now I don't even have that, I just feel like a joke." He laughed a little at himself. "I mean, maybe it's my luck. I meet a guy out of nowhere, I'm not looking for anything but he just... Crashes into my life and god, he's perfect, he's sweet and gentle and everything I want, if I wasn't such a coward I would-"
Onyx hardly noticed he was rambling, lost in cooking and not paying attention to what he was saying, shaking his head a little and laughing at himself. "But I can't, he's this- strong guy with a great career and a handle on his life and I'm just... Some loser with no job, no future, stuck at his uncle's place, I'm dramatic and clingy and I joke around and say I'm cute with my eyeliner and my big blue eyes, but I'm just some shaggy troll while him, he's just- frigging gorgeous, he's absolutely out of my league, there's no way I'm going to have any chance with a pretty French sports star, especially one with such a nice- ow!"
In his rambling, Onyx had finished his cleaning and had moved to dice some chives, meaning to add them to the soup when it was closer to done, and had sliced his thumb open in the process. Cursing, he moved over to the sink, turning on the water and running it over his wound. Brought back to himself, he shifted on his feet, blushing and feeling awkward. "I... I was rambling again, wasn't I?" He asked softly, biting his lip and letting his hair fall to cover his eyes.