If My Heart Was a House

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Izaak Finch

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The mid morning sun flooded warmth through the kitchen window pane, there were pancakes frying deliciously away on the stove top and as Izaak flicked a song softly onto the stereo, he didn’t know if he could have felt any more peaceful. Of course he had been absolutely shattered when he’d stepped into the Medley, Alexis had messily severed his heart that night with her ways and that was where the ‘I will always love you’ promise had come cruelly into play. But he hadn’t told a soul, because quite frankly he hadn’t needed to. Everything felt ok again whenever he was with Isabella, as if she were the only thing that made perfect sense to him. Izaak was itching to tell her just how happy she had made him feel that morning as he had woken to her in his arms. He had kissed her eyes softly and left her asleep in a tangle of white sheets. But Izaak was almost positive that any moment now the smell of breakfast would rouse her from her sleep.

Retreating back to the stove with a spatula at the ready, Izaak echoed the easy-going song back to the stereo with such precision and melodic notes that it seemed to be a waste to let it go unnoticed beneath his breath. Many a time before Izaak had played his Jack Johnson albums out for Alexis. A million times over the American artist had been sole witness to Izaak’s cheeky serenades, their slow dances in the kitchen and afternoons of lazy kisses on the couch. But those memories had remained stowed away as he cooked for himself and Isabella that morning, thinking honestly of nothing but the sweet blonde in his bed and all the things he had finally found out that he wanted to tell her.
 
Bella lay warmly snuggled into the soft folds of the bed, swamped by blankets as she was such a heat muffin. Everything from her toes and nose got cold so fast, that even in a heatwave she cocooned herself in layers of blankets when she slept. So unbelievably relaxed and content she stretched out in the bed her hand moving slowly to touch Izaak but discovering nothing there she slowly opened her eyes. His side of the bed was empty, of course his side was more or less the entire bed considering it was a single but there was definitely no sign of him.

She sat up yawning and stretching looking about the room for any sign of him when the smell assailed her senses. Someone was frying up pancakes. Smiling she jumped out of the bed pulling on one of his shirts that lay across a chair in the corner of the room. The pale blue of it enhanced the honey tones of her skin, made her eyes seemed positively shimmer and her hair appear more golden. On bare feet she padded to the kitchen and standing in the doorway stopped for a moment to enjoy simply watching him. Leaning her head against the doorframe, with hands beneath her face she smiled as she watched him. He seemed so preoccupied with what he was doing.

The music finally began to filter in and she smiled, Bella absolutely loved Jack Johnson. The song ended and before another started she sang softly to him...
banana pancakes said:
Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

But baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you
this song It's meant to keep you
From doin' what you're supposed to
Like wakin' up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now...
Click to expand...

She smiled as she did so, walking closer to him and encircling her arms around his waist as she rested her head against his shoulder.
"I hope they are banana pancakes" a soft chuckle as she hugged him tightly, she couldn't remember a nicer way to wake up unless it was him in the bed beside her.
 
The voice that Izaak picked up over the stereo was different; higher, lighter, sweeter. He did not need two chances to guess correctly who it was, there was only one girl he had woken up so contentedly to that morning. Glee stirred deep within the blue depths of his irises as Izaak lifted them slowly from the utensil he had been spinning in tight circles between his quick fingers and instantly they were treated to the beauty before him. She was dressed down stunningly in nothing but his shirt, looking far better in it then Izaak could ever dream. There was no denying the glow, golden in every sense, that radiated from Isabella and Izaak was more than humbled by the fact that he was the sole cause of it. Last night had been amazing, like it always was between the two of them, but the comfortable ease of the morning after always equalled it and maybe even topped it.

A smile grew broader and broader on his face as the distance between the two of them was closed with a good morning hug. "Hi baby girl." He greeted her as he held her body close against his bare-skinned chest, pulling in the scent of her mixed with his own from the shirt with an eager hunger. "I hope they are banana pancakes" Izaak chuckled in pleasant amusement at the girl in his arms before tangling a few soft kisses in her hair and allowing a little more room to space their bodies but only after a good long moment in their tender embrace. “Honestly, would we have them any other way?” A wink was thrown in Isabella’s direction as he had to practically tear his gaze away from her to tend to the frying batter. After single-handedly flipping a few over in the pan, Izaak reached needily for her hips and pulled them lazily towards his own.

As if right on cue with his thoughts, the music changed and softened into the slower tempo of a song that up until a few months ago had reminded him perfectly of Alexis. His hands skimmed along Isabella’s arms and lifted them to link intimately at the nape of his neck, before travelling his back down to her waist to hold her there. And then he danced with her, so slow and so close amongst the rays of light that flooded into the quaint kitchen. With his azure eyes eased peacefully closed and his forehead pressed sweetly to Isabella’s, Izaak let his bare feet guide them slowly across the floor and knew in that moment that there was nowhere else he’d rather be. His voice was just a murmur between their lips, but she would have heard his words as clear as the day itself. "I love you Is." And he did, he really did.
 
Seeing Izaak brought new perspective to Alexis on the subject of moving. She couldn't go on hoping that they would make up some how, that everything would go back to normal and that her heart wouldn't be broken so viciously, it was cruel to do that to herself. She needed to make an attempt at saving her heart and making a clean break but she knew that it was a sticky mess and likely wouldn't work, she just needed to leave Oceania to mend her aching heart then stow it away because she simply was unable to give it to anyone so soon, it belonged to one two people and if she tried it would feel like she was being a thief.

When Alexis rose from her slumber and got ready for this in the Leaky she texted Leah asking her if she wanted to come and help her move well not help just be there for entertainment and distraction as her nerve could disappear when she entered so when she reseved a reply she grinned eagerly and folded up a large amount of boxes and put them into a large bag before apparating to Australia.

Luckily, Alexis had foreseen doing such things and took a Graval because apparating always made her feel nauseous. Without knocking she entered Leah's house and found her best friend who she eagerly greeted with a small hug. She wondered briefly where Jay was but she knew this would take a lot of time if she was not using magic so she and Leah made their way to Alexis and Izaak's old home.

Not even imagining that Izaak would be there or even there with another, Alexis reached for her keys and unlocked the door quickly as she chuckled to her friend, "I hope the lock wasn't changed on me." She opened the door and her hazel eyes widened as she heard the most painful words ever uttered, "I love you Is." Immediatly her heart hurt and she watched the scene unfold. This was something that she and Izaak had once done, had he really moved on that quickly? Was she really that replacable?

Alexis' keys fell to the ground as did her bag full of boxes when she stuttered an apology for barging in, "I-I-I d-id-n't think." As she did this a thought struck her, Isabella was wearing a men's shirt, her lover's ex-lover's shirt, they had been in her bed, in their bed! How heartless could he be? "You... were in my bed?" she asked but didn't wait to hear as pure anger struck threw her bones and all the green that had been in her eyes disappeared. So many emotions flowed through Alexis that she began to feel dizzy and nauseous, she was barely able to make sense of things and she began to cry tearless drops.
 
Leah had been in no mind to pass up on helping Alexis move out of her and Izaak’s home, she was her best friend after all and a promise was a promise. Of course there was little moving she could actually do now that she was heavily pregnant with Keith’s baby, but the young woman knew that it wasn’t the physical assistance that she had been seeking. "I hope the lock wasn't changed on me." Leah laughed in spite of the situation as the two best friends stood outside the front door but only because she knew her brother would never do such a thing.

If she wasn’t planning on running into Izaak, which Leah could easily guess was the case, then she had picked the right time of day for it. He was rarely home during the day whenever she wanted to reach him and they always ended up conversing over their mobiles whilst he lay on the beach or had lunch with friends. So it came as a shock when she heard the music crooning over the stereo as Alexis unlocked the door, though perhaps he had just forgotten to switch it off. But no, there he was in the kitchen, slow dancing in such a manner that would be enough to break anyone’s heart, let alone his ex-lover’s. Leah’s hand flew to her face and clasped over her mouth as their presence was announced to the couple in the kitchen by the clattering of Alexis’ keys against the floor.

Her eyes burned fiercely against the matching blue of Izaak’s, she had known that he and Isabella had been up to something, but how could he be this stupid? She had told him that Alexis was planning to move her things a few days ago, so why was he taking these risks? An angered, rhetorical question shot from Alexis’ mouth and only now did she realise exactly what something was. Leah reached one hand out to comfort Alexis whilst the other attempted to scoop down and lift the fallen boxes but her pregnant stomach obstructed her intentions each time. Instead she chose to focus solely on Alexis, reaching out for her shoulders and beginning to herd her away from the scene that was evidently tearing apart. Many a time had Leah been witness to Izaak’s rejections of girls that approached him at the beach but she had never realised he was capable of this much destruction until this very moment. And to her best friend too! "Izaak, just..." She didn’t know how she had been planning on ending that sentence but was wishing desperately for the pair of them to just disappear so Alexis could make this final step in peace.
 
In the time that had passed between the emptiness of losing their baby and the fragile common ground that the young lovers attempted to call their own, Isabella had found a peace of sorts within herself. It had not been easy and it would never be so but each day spent with Izaak made her feel human again, made her realize very slowly that there were tiny slips of silver linings to be found in even the gravest of situations.

She would forever miss her baby, forever yearn to hold her but it would seem her babies passing had brought her parents finally together. Was Cassie aware of the delicate happiness her parents had found with one another after she had so abruptly been taken from them? Isabella always hoped she was and that perhaps she was simply awaiting a time when her soul could return to them once more, when they were possibly more ready for her than before.

Her arms delighted in the familiarity that now was Izaak's frame to her. How he spoke as if they had been like this for an eternity. She beamed as he winked at her, shaking her head.
"No banana pancakes are the only way to go" on tiptoe she stood tenderly and lovingly blessing his lips with a brief reminder of her own. Hands on her hips, she groaned as closer to his body she was drawn. As the music changed so did the air about them, her hands were guided around his neck where her fingers then curled lazily into his hair. Foreheads locked they danced slowly about the kitchen, the beautiful Australian sun dancing its way into the kitchen and enhancing the glow she seemed to emanate. Their lips were almost touching when words she had always longed to hear came. Her hand touched his face but before she could smile, effect any positive response to him an all too familiar voice sounded.

Isabella slowly unwound her hands from his hair, lowered her arms from around his neck and looked at the two women standing in the doorway. The noisy clatter of Alexis boxes and keys echoed about the room, as if they needed any more proof that she was here. The charge brought against Bella for sleeping in 'her' bed was duly noted but she refused to retort. This was not her fight. The truth of his feelings no matter what he had declared for her just precious seconds ago would out at last. He knew she loved him but could not and would not live with any more heartache or pain as a result of her love. She turned and removed the frying pan then picked up a mug of coffee, touching him over his heart her silver grey eyes effected one
thing only to him. She trusted his decision, whatever he chose now even if it wasn't her but it was his decision to make. Not hers and not Alexis'.

Turning from the two young women she made her way outside, walking along the decking to the wooden chairs she sat into one, hands cupping the hot mug but not drinking any of it. Why did every moment of happiness in her life come to an end so quickly?
 
It was on instinct that Izaak jerked his chin forwards, drawing his lips that touch closer to Isabella’s, once he felt the warmth of her palm grace his face. In the split second there between wondrous contentment and its brutal shattering, Izaak wondered if maybe, just maybe, this was what the fates had in store for him. This being Isabella and all that she had loved over the past few months. The two were so close now that he could feel the heat of their breath collided and his heart jittered in anticipation of what might be the most meaningful kiss that had ever shared. But typically it was wrenched cruelly from hope and sight by the metallic clatter of keys hitting the floor.

His startled azure eyes heightened from Isabella’s invitingly close lips and darted sharply across the living room, only to lock unwaveringly on an all too familiar shade of brown, one he distinctly remembered had once been coupled happily with the vividest of greens. Izaak could not bring his muscles to function as he felt Isabella slip her arms from around him, he could not force his jaw closed as it hung unhinged in shock and he could not tear his eyes away from the young woman he had promised his love to. Because the more he stared, the more he came to the horrific realisation that he was still madly in love with her. But they couldn’t be together and they wouldn’t ever be again, things had gotten too hard and it would surely take a lifetime to rebuild the trusting relationship they had once so obliviously taken for granted. Besides, he had his Isabella now, hadn’t he just thought that they were meant to be?

"You... were in my bed?" Once again, Izaak found himself unwillingly unresponsive. What could he possibly return her words with? He wasn’t sorry that he and Isabella were sleeping together but he was sorry that Alexis had to find out, and like this too. But Izaak knew Alexis, she despised pity and she would not swallow a string of heartfelt words, especially not if they were his. Another voice, one that was more comfortingly familiar, snatched at Izaak’s attention and he realised that it was not only Alexis that had seen himself and Isabella, it was Leah as well. Her disappointment and frustration was clear as she began to gather his ex-lover in her arms, as was her protectiveness over the girl he knew she loved like a sister. But the gesture Isabella made by softly touching his chest and his thundering heart within it, coupled with the conveyance of her trust in him through her eyes was just enough to tumble him into oblivion. How he could be in love with the both of them was beyond Izaak, but he urgently found himself wishing that Kasey hadn’t had to leave with the order those many, many, many months ago. That way he wouldn’t have to be here with his heart strapped beneath a guillotine.

To longingly watch Isabella walk surprisingly calmly from the inside of the house was the first movement his wide blue eyes had made from the pair at the doorway. It wouldn’t be long before he joined her, the rate of heartbreak in here was too high for him to stay, but he needed to say something, anything to his ex first. "Alexis-" By a matter of habit his mouth moved to form the affection of ‘sweetie’ but found himself having to painfully swallow it instead. "I don’t know..." ... what to say. But Izaak’s sentence was never finished as his eyes darted to the boards beneath his feet, cringing as he could almost hear the silent reprimands Leah was throwing at him through her eyes. "Do you, um... Want a hand?" Izaak finally raised his distraught but oh-so bright eyes from the floor as he voiced a question he knew was the wrong one and sheepishly drew his arms over his bare chest. Never before, and she had seen him in less than this, had he ever felt so exposed before her. It seemed as if he had hit an all time low.
 
Alexis allowed herself to be scooped up by Leah, wishing that she could just scoop up her broken heart and possibly trample on Izaak's for her. "How could he be so horrible?" she cried into her best friend's shoulder, not letting the kicks of Leah's baby ruin the hug for her because she needed her, needed her like she had never needed anyone in her life. She barely even realized that Isabella had passed her until she heard creaking steps on the pourch before she heard someone speak her name to which she sharply pulled away from Leah and turned around to Izaak, her eyes glowing with anger.

"No I don't want a hand," Alexis snapped at him, her body shaking with fury as she bundled her hands together into tight fists. "What I want is you and your wh*re out of our house," she yelled at him, taking a threatening step towards him. Without her knowledge, tears slipped out of the corners of her dark eyes, she couldn't understand why she wasn't good enough, why he wanted Isabella and why he had treated her like she was a shirt that had been stained and thrown her out. It simply was not fair that this disturbingly beautiful, horrible girl got to have the best person that she had ever met.

Over and over and over again, Alexis' heart was being snatched from her chest with greedy hands. Every time she saw Izaak she wanted to die more and more just to avoid her longing for him because she loved him, she would always love him and she hated him for it. "You're a cruel person, I hope you feel the pain that I do. I hope you get what you deserve," she sneered as she jabbed a spindly finger in his direction. "Now get the f*ck out!" If Izaak stayed around much longer, Alexis would take out her wand and start sending curses his and Isabella's way because her hatred was so overwhelming at this point.

lame
 
Izaak gulped down the guilty lump in his throat as Alexis turned on him viciously, drawing on every last reserve of her energy to scream her demands in his direction. His azure eyes played soft against the harsh brown of hers as she walked a bold step towards him, spitting out a name for Isabella that he knew she had always been in Alexis’ mind. But Izaak stood his ground with a stubborn arrogance as she went on. It absolutely tore him apart to see someone he was so in love with this broken because of him but the desire to kiss it all better or to brush away those gushing tears with a deft swipe of his hand dissolved the instant Alexis said that she hoped he felt the pain she did.

He straightened his spine in defiance and drew his arms tighter across the muscular planes of his chest. She could beat him black and blue with her fists if she wanted to, she could call him every name under the sun but to wish something like that upon him was not something Izaak was going to stand for. Did she not realise how much she had hurt him that night he’d seen her with Ioan. “Well why don’t you go hook up with my cousin again? That should do the trick.” He spat bitterly, now winding angrily out of character just as he had that night. “The world doesn’t revolve around you Alexis! Do you just think that you’re the only victim here? That I’m not hurting because of you too? If that’s the case, I guess you were right, I guess we are better off like this.” Izaak was glowering with irrational anger, his eyes were blazing a fierce blue against Alexis in a way he knew he had never looked at her before. “I can’t do this with you anymore Alexis, I just f*cking can’t.”

me too...
 
Alexis' face plumed immediately when Izaak said that she had "hooked up" with Ioan, when she had only been kissed by him unwillingly. Her eyes were frantic and before she could sneer out anything worth saying, her hand had swung heavily, open-palmed, to the side of Izaak's jawline that only months ago she had kissed with the up-most gentle, loving touches. "I did not have sex with him!" she nearly bellowed at him, infuriated that he would think her to be such a loose girl. Unlike Izaak and Isabella, she did not have meaningless sex with anyone, she had very meaningful relations with her ex-lover and she hadn't had sex since and she didn't plan on having it again for a long time. "What would it matter if I go and f*cked the next guy I saw, anyway?" she asked as if it was her every intention to do so. "You were with girls even when we were together. And now.. only months after everything you confess your love to that disgusting thing!" she spat, glancing towards the door momentarily and her eyes skimmed over Leah as if she was nothing but a wall in the house. "How long until you do the same to her? How long?" she asked, looking back at Izaak, hoping to play on the heartstrings he had.. if any.

"You are a heartless b*stard, I regret ever giving you any of my time. You're nothing but a coward. You weren't man enough to tell me the truth, you hid and you're lucky that your brat is dead. Even if she wasn't, she wouldn't have made it passed a year anyway," Alexis sneered, a cruel smirk on the lips as the words rung throughout the house, the words that were meant to hurt, meant to kill. Her eyes were dark and murderous, not caring how horrible her words were she wanted to be as cruel as Izaak was to her in anyway she could and this was what she came up with. It certainly was the worst thing she had ever said and she truly didn't mean it but at that moment, in the heat of the argument she saw no flaw in the words.

I shock myself sometimes.
 
In one instant Izaak’s gaze was set in icy blue tones on his ex-girlfriend and in the next it was jerked both viciously and unwillingly away. It took a moment more for him to realise what had just happened and if it weren’t for the stinging prickle of nerves in his cheek or the sound of thwarted flesh ringing in his ears, he might not ever have realised. She, Alexis Richarde, a girl who had many a time kissed, caressed and stroked that very part of his face, had just slapped him. Izaak clenched his jaw in infuriation; squaring it so menacingly as his head whipped back around to face Alexis that it seemed like he had every intention of hitting her back. Perhaps for a second there he did too whilst so blinded by fury, with an angry, palm-shaped welt growing inflamed low on his cheek. But instead as he listened to her trample on, Izaak forced in a breath and sourly muttered just loud enough for her to hear, “You might as well have.”

But Alexis was far from done, continuing to hiss and spit stabbing remarks that only fuelled the scorching blue fire in Izaak’s eyes. He stood there defiantly before her with a hateful scowl carved unflatteringly on his usually so exuberant features. He did not care how bad this emotion looked on him, he didn’t care how furiously he was spindling out of control, he didn’t care if she hated him forever. Izaak didn’t care, period. “You know,” He voiced clearly, literally dripping with sarcastic intrigue while he raised a curious index finger at her. “I think you were wrong when you said my feelings for Isabella could change cause I don’t think they have. Maybe I’ve just loved her all along. And maybe, this might sound naive, but maybe she’s the love of my life.” There was a mocking sneer to Izaak’s voice as he virtually quoted her on the letter she’d sent him back when this had all begun. But he purposefully hindered it a touch to put forth the fact that he was serious about her and the moment Alexis had ruined when she’d barged in on them.

“...and you're lucky that your brat is dead.” Izaak heard nothing after that, not a single note uttered. Something similar to a white film flash suddenly blinded his gaze and every individual muscles in his built frame began to tremor violently in rage. This was anger to an extent Izaak had never experienced and he never would have guessed it would be Alexis that would spin him out this far. Not even Demyx could hold a candle to the emotions she had just torn through him. “I’m the heartless one?!” Izaak roared so loud and so viciously that he could have sworn he had shaken the frame of the house himself. “Don’t you DARE talk about my daughter like that! You have no right! You think you can just parade in here, when it was you that broke us up, and start ripping the shreds off Cassie like that? Grow up Alexis, get a heart and get the f*ck out of my life.” After his shouts had come to a close, Izaak froze in a seething glare that refused to retreat from the dangerous brown of her eyes. He didn’t trust himself to move or he might do something he’d regret later. Instead he lowered his voice to a rumbling growl almost too low to decipher and spoke a sentence he knew he didn’t mean and would never on his life spoken. But Izaak was out of his mind with fury, reckless, insensitive and downright cruel in retaliation. “I guess with a sister like you, Julia should be grateful that she’s—”
 
“Izaak stop!” Leah screeched desperately as she took a brave step to squeeze between the two ex-lovers. She, like her younger brother, was trembling but she was not furious. She was fearful. “Please, please just stop.” Her azure eyes lifted hesitantly to his and flinched at the ferocity that raged within them, he might as well have swung a punch at her, it would have reaped the same effect. Not in his nineteen years had she ever seen him so possessed by rage and it shocked her even more to know that it was Alexis that had brought this monster own, this horrible person that was so determined to trample all over Alexis’ late sister. Yes, she too had played a card on the deceased but this had gone too far. The pair of them were like two bulls in a ring and although she was foolish to try and stop them, she’d been even more foolish not to.

Her heart begun to drum wildly in her ears as this man, one that she was too frightened to call her brother, straightened to his complete height. The tension in the air between them hung thick as he spat one last insult at his ex-girlfriend before storming out of the living room and onto the balcony, a slam so loud of the wire screen door that it made Leah cringe, followed him with bite. Only when she was sure the shouts were over and the insults had stopped their treacherous reign over the silence of the house, did Leah draw a breath. It made her almost guilty to think that it was relief that flooded through her as Izaak left. She loved her brother more than anything other pair of siblings too. He was her rock, her saviour and before the mess had been tossed about, he had been the person she had always wanted to be. But she could not stop the shakes he had given her, nor could she shrug the threatening blaze in his eyes from her memory. Though she had to be stronger than this, Alexis would be feeling infinitely worse and she would need her should to drown her sorrows in. Leah had to be better for her best friend. “Oh sweetie,” She cooed, opening her arms up to the younger girl before her and wanting to be every bit of the bigger sister she was meant to be.
 
Leah might have just saved Izaak another slap in the face but Izaak was too infuriated to be grateful. He spared her a poisonous glance but it was simply to hard to keep his eyes off of his ex-girlfriend for too long. It was her that had wound him up and it was her that deserve the harsh bite of his wrath. The word ‘dead’ was still lingering on his tongue, and Izaak was tempted to hiss it as his parting word to her. Weighing his options figuratively in each quaking hand, he seemed completely oblivious to the tension that was hung so suffocatingly in the atmosphere. But then Izaak squared his shoulders and unclenched his jaw so much as to speak to tower over Alexis and his sister, all 6’1” of him. “F*ck you Alexis Richarde.” One last time he glared into the changing eyes that he had once, and still did buried deep beneath his white hot fury, so deeply loved.

His bare feet couldn’t seem to tread heavily enough the floor as he made his fuming exit from the living room and slammed the door hard behind him as they found the deck cold beneath his footing. The sea breeze seemed to sizzle a little of the heat as Izaak kept to himself for a moment, drawing in slow, deep breaths. Like himself, Alexis had stepped out of line. They had turned in even for the amount of insults spat at one another but had come out bloodied, bruised and battered. The scream-fest, the snide remarks, the filthy glares; they had all made him feel better in the heat of the moment. But their aftermath was devastating. Wearily he slid open his eyes to catch Isabella within them and he slipped her a trying smile. Maybe his battles had been worth the fight after all. But then Alexis’ comment about Cassie came flying back to pummel him square in the chest and from head to toe Izaak regained the violent trembles that had claimed him whilst standing there in his living room.

The racket the two ex-lovers had made would have been heard by not only Isabella but by everyone down on the beach too. In an attempt to rid his stride of its need to stomp, Izaak shuffled slowly towards her, he didn’t want to scare her too but it was probably too late for that. He dropped to his knees once he was before her, settling a shaky palm on each of her thighs to brace his furied body. There was no denying the itch to swear some more, to utter a mouthful more of profanities about his ex-girlfriend. But instead her brought his blue eyes up to the silvery hues of hers, watching out tensely from beneath a messy fringe and the stinging red mark on the side of his face from where Alexis had slapped him. And suddenly he felt more grateful than ever for her and all the relentless time and effort she had placed into adoring him the way she did. Izaak wanted desperately to make it up to her, and what better time to start then now? “I love you.”
 
Bella sat outside listening to the voices that slowly raised themselves. Not sure what good she could be to Izaak inside, here seemed the best place for her to be but hadn't that always been the case. That she was the one on the outskirts of everything, that she was the odd one out the girl who should not have been and here she was again, so clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. No matter that he had told her he loved her, he had told Alexis that he loved her too. How many times had he told Isabella that he was in love with Alexis, that wasn't something you just got over.

The voices became heated and cruel, she stood up to pace the decking trying to block the words out but it was impossible. Impossible not to hear the name that Alexis called her, impossible not to hear that he did not defend her. Bella put the mug down and walked around to the bedroom window that was slightly ajar and after slipping inside pulled on a pair of shorts and trainers. Removing his shirt she inhaled the scent of him from it as tears stung her eyes. If he had loved her really then he would have stood up for her but he hadn't, his own anger was more important. She put a white bra and pulled on an oversized ti-shirt running a hand through her hair she headed back out the window. Not sure where she was to go now feeling utterly defeated she could only return to her perch and place her hands around the comforting heat of the coffee mug once more.

As if a silver lining shone through she heard his words and closed her eyes. He loved her, even thought she could be the love of his life. A tear slid down her face as a smile slowly grew there but it was short lived. The cruelness that was Alexis brandished her heart with the worst possible words ever.The coffee mug slipped from her hands, crashing to the floor it's contents spilled every where. How could someone be so cruel? So heartless, even now she could hear the agony in Izaak's voice as he tried to come to terms with what she had said about their little girl, their baby. She was numb but deep within she could feel the blood begin to boil. Her anger wanted unleashing and the pain wanted to still it. Wanting nothing more than to let the white heat of her wrath shine through Bella inhaled deeply, the door opened and her silver grey eyes took him in.

Watched as he knelt before her, could she control it now? He seemed to be the only one who could. Izaak had left Alexis inside and come out to her, was kneeling before her and telling her he loved her. She knew Cassie would not want her to become some harpie and hurt some one, she was not as evil as Alexis, not as vicious. Her hand gently reached out to stroke his hair, first contact was all she needed as another tear fell and her arms were about him.
"I love you" she whispered, "I'll always love you".
 
Izaak would not have been surprised then if Isabella had told him that the Leaky was only her day job and she turned healer by night because in her arms the shakes that had diseased his body seemed to lessen. Even the biting sting of the welt across his jaw seemed to soften as he forgot himself there and the monstrosity that had just riveted control of his body. At her loving confessions, Izaak inhaled smoothly and buried an appreciative kiss inside the crook of her elbow. Even if his sister refused to talk to him again, even if Alexis’ evident hatred for him was harboured for a lifetime and even if the world was falling down on him, Izaak would always be able to take solace in Isabella and her love for him. There were no conditions, no restrictions and it was just what Izaak needed right now.

But he could not steal himself away with her forever and so, as Izaak leant back from her comforting hold on him the anger seemed to relight in his chest. “I’m sorry you had to hear all that. That was...” Izaak hesitated, lifting the back of his finger to graze against the heated, marred skin of his cheek. “That was heavy. I’ve never seen her like that before, I’ve never seen me like that before.” A groan escaped his chest and his hands reached for Isabella’s fingers to fiddle absentmindedly yet adoringly with them. “But about us...” Izaak paused to hook his azure eyes upwards, still not detoxified of all the fury and hurt that had dampened them inside but mingled now with a new emotion. “... Can we, um, be an ‘us’ now? Officially?”

blah
 
When he was near nothing else seemed to matter most certainly not the vicious viper inside the house. The heartache by Alexis’ callous words were still sharp but with Izaak near her she knew she could cope, knew her anger had no place to attach itself. He was like her missing link, her calming influence. Her heart and her soul mate. Her hand rose too gently caress his cheek after he kissed her elbow.

“I’ve seen anger in it’s worst forms, I’ve seen how it can change people. At least you don’t turn into some ugly creature when you get angry” she wished she could say the same for Alexis but her words still hurt and though he was here with her, she was still wrestling with her own demons not to go in and shred the girl to ribbons.

“You can’t protect me from all the horrible things in this world but at least we.. “ she faltered not sure how to put it as his fingers began to play with her own. As his blue eyes looked up then to her own she smiled encouragingly for him.
“You’re not just asking this in anger? You know I love you so much maybe this is something you need to take time over. I am always going to be here for you, my heart will always be yours no matter what but if you are coming to me and I want you to come to me, then… make sure it’s for the right reasons and not because you’re angry with her, the … great love of your life”.

As much as his words had made her delirious, so ridiculously happy to hear she had to be cautious now for them both. They were both too fragile, both too needy perhaps that though they loved one another that love might not be enough, might not sustain them. She needed to be sure it would, that all their reasons for being together were the right ones, not out of a sense of obligation or out of anger and frustration but because it was what he truly wanted. Isabella knew without a doubt that it was
Completely what she wanted, knowing her hands were aching even now to gather him too her but caressing his cheek for now was all she permitted herself.
 
“At least you don’t turn into some ugly creature when you get angry” A grimace pressed to Izaak’s lips at her words and he returned them with a muttered, “Don’t be so sure.” Izaak have never been so frightened of himself before as he had been in that fury-fuelled fight with his ex-girlfriend. He had said things he would not even dare to think in a normal state of mind. Several times the urge to swing at her had gripped him, it had even fired up at his sister, his pregnant sister the moment she had taken a rather foolish but necessary step between the two. And honestly, how much more monstrous could a man get?

A sigh rose from him as her palm came to stroke his smarting cheek and Izaak realised then that Isabella could soothe him better than any ice-pack or bag of frozen peas could. The lids of his eyes flitted closed and he silently willed her not to stop. She was his dose of morphine for everything that had possessed him those mere few minutes ago and he couldn’t go on without her. The smile she graced him with sparked the young man with hope that this was all going to ride smoothly after today but as she spoke it faltered then tumbled so sharply inside of him at her last words that Izaak jumped to his feet without warning.

“The great love of my life?” Izaak snorted incredulously as his anger edgily began to ebb back into his system. “Alexis? That b*tch in there? After what she said about you, about me, about...” Izaak stumbled on his own voice as his seething mind echoed Alexis’ spiteful words. “About Cassie?! I wouldn’t care if I never saw her again!” Noticing that his voice was, once again, arching in rage, Izaak closed his eyes and shuddered in a deep breath to compose himself. His palms clapped to his face then slipped downwards in agony. These words about Alexis, they weren’t true. He would care if he never saw her again and perhaps she still was the love of his life but in his blinding rage Izaak could not comprehend that.

Another sigh was exhaled from him as he flicked his apologetic eyes to the beautiful girl before him. His voice raised through the silence again but this time it was soft, calming and reassuring. “Is, nothing I do with you is because of her. I love you because of you and I want to be with you so I can have you on my arm. You’re sweet, you’re beautiful and you’re the polar opposite of me right now but that’s just what I need. I was gonna ask you this morning anyway, before all this-” He sighed, waving his arms about the house carelessly. “-happened.” As much as he would have loved to have hoisted her off of that seat and lose himself in her affections, Izaak waited for Isabella to come to him instead.
 
Alexis truly didn't understand how Izaak was able to so freely hurt her, to mock everything about her and not even care how she felt because beneath everything she knew that she loved him still and she did not like what she was saying but she felt out of control, like she had to retaliate to everything that he had done to her. "F*ck you," she sneered at him as he had finished mocking her, it was not her fault that she was in love with Zaire but she had not thought about him in months and she had not contacted him either. "You know she isn't, we both know she isn't," she hissed quietly, not saying that she was because she honestly didn't know but she knew for a fact that it wasn't Isabella, if it was he likely would have just given up on her and gone for the disgusting creature.

Alexis stood unbothered by Izaak's anger, she honestly did not care about Cassie, she had told him that she didn't when she had found out about him and the death of the kid did not change anything about it, in fact it only heightened her hatred for it because it and Isabella were the reason that she and Izaak were not together. "I'm the reason we aren't together? You cheated on me, over and over and over again! It is your fault we aren't together, you had to know that what you were doing was not right," she said perhaps a little bit more gently.

Her tone didn't last long, nor did her sad attitude, it flipped to anger almost immediately when he mentioned her late sister. Alexis didn't even know how to react but she knew that she was slowly getting more and more angry, her pain in all of this was inexplicable. "DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER THAT WAY!" Alexis bellowed, she had never really gotten over her twins death and he knew that, he knew the right way to hurt her and he always would. She had told him nearly everything about her life that hurt her, this was what she got for trusting people so blindly.

She stared at Izaak, quite plainly livid, his words didn't even transfer into her mind besides it was not the worst thing that had ever been said to her. Alexis was just trying to focus on not grabbing her wand from her pocket and cursing Izaak like she so wanted to, well that and not crying in front of him and when he had left she nearly collapsed on the ground, pushing away her best friend's arms. "Go away!" she yelled. "Just... go away," she said as she cried, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, crying into her forearms.

Alexis needed to be alone, she needed, well, Izaak. She had never been so desperate for anything or anyone ever in her life but she loved him no matter how much she hated it which was why it hurt more than some stranger saying anything to her. He had loved her and now it seemed that all he wanted to do was hurt her.
 
Their screams were still ringing viciously in her ears as Leah turned to Alexis, she knew her best friend was in the furthest possible place from okay and she wanted to do something, anything to make her feel even the slightest touch better. Like she was sure, although she would rather not think about it, Isabella was doing for her little brother. But no sooner had she opened her arms up to the trembling younger girl then they had been rejected with a push and her worried azure eyes fixed tightly onto the grounded sobbing heap that was Alexis.

Leah could not bring herself to understand how two people that had once been so wildly in love with one another could bring themselves to inflict this much agonizing pain. But the more she watched Alexis weep and the more that the biting words rolled over and over in her memory, she realised that this had only happened because they were still in love. Each one only wanted the other to feel the heartache they had caused them and as a result had wound up in this horrific mess of things. The young woman frowned at her epiphany before dropping awkwardly to a kneel beside Alexis, silently cursing her swollen baby bump for impairing her ability to comfort her friend. “Alexis, please.” She whispered tearfully, reaching across the space between them and touching a delicate hand to her elbow. Leah did not dare to speak any further for what seemed like hours to her, denying the hesitant urge to tell Alexis exactly why Izaak acted the way he just had. She didn’t think she’d appreciate it but perhaps it was something she should know.

“Izaak... He didn’t mean what he said but you know him just as well as me Alexis. He’ll calm down and he’ll regret everything, I know he will. He’s irrational, he’s stupid, he’s a b*stard. But he only did it cause he’s still in love with you sweetie. If you were any other girl he wouldn’t waste his time...” Leah shook her head and slicked her palm soothingly over Alexis’ forearm, still shell-shocked by everything he had said and the threatening expressions that had stolen across his usually so placid features. “He was just so... terrifying.”
 
Isabella listened to the anger that dripped from him, to the anger that radiated from inside the house and to her own stilled voice deep within. She stood up and walked carefully to the rail of the decking and placed her hands on it looking out over the beautiful beach front. The view was glorious, the young man near her was everything she had ever wanted but her heart was sending so many warning signals now. His anger needed to be controlled, needed to be calmed.

There was never any way she would ever forgive Alexis for what she had said about Cassie and there was no way she would ever forgive her for how she had angered him as a result. She turned around and leaned back against the railing with a soft sigh as she heard his words declaring his love for her and smiled at him.

Slowly she reached out a hand, calling him to her. She wanted to trust him so very much, wanted to feel the happiness that had been there's the past few days. Was it so very wrong of her to reach for the moon?
"Promise me you won't regret this, that you won't regret us" what if a week from now he realized it was a mistake and wanted Alexis even after all the angry words and heartache. What if Isabella was just not enough for him? Her heart urged her once again to be cautious, but for once it was her head telling her to reach with both hands because love, this kind of love only came once in a lifetime and though he had already found the love of his life in another, she had found hers in him.
 
Izaak was in no position whatsoever to refuse the beckon that Isabella had given him with on outstretched hand. Like a pathetic puppy on a lead, he followed her gesture curiously until he was standing directly before her. "Promise me you won't regret this, that you won't regret us" Izaak arched his eyebrows until they were perched incredulously high on his forehead, as if daring her to believe he would. “Regret us?!” Izaak was almost jumping about the balcony now and if it weren’t for him literally having to steady his bare feet on the decking. "You, my girl, have much to learn." He tapped a playfully adoring index finger to the tip of her nose with a grin riding high across his lips.

And just as if she were a bucket of water that had been thrown over his head or a soothing lullaby that had been crooned to him, someway and somehow Isabella caused Izaak to forget entirely about all that had gone down between him and Alexis. Pinning her cheekily against the railing in a way that only he could make innocent, Izaak leant down to press his lips softly to hers. The kiss was short and sweet but it was really all that he’d needed in that moment. His hands came to link reassuringly with Isabella’s as he set a peck on her temple. The stirring azure blue of his eyes was so close to her that he found himself absentmindedly counting all the shades of silver in her eyes. “So this is us? We’re together?” His voice brimmed with ecstatic excitement but he didn’t care if Alexis heard or saw any of it.

blah
 
If there was ever a time that Alexis Marie wanted to be alone, it was now. This was not normal, she loved being around people at all times and usually hated being alone but she couldn't bring herself to feel any joy at all and she did not want Leah seeing her in this way, pitying her. So when she pushed Leah away she had meant for her to go home, but of course she was a good friend and wouldn't do as she asked of her, silently or not.

The crying girl could not bring herself to look up at Leah until she was trying to sit down when she felt uneasy and protective over her friend and her godchild but didn't move, just kept herself ready should she fall messily. But of course she didn't so she returned to her morose tears, trying not to think of how she had messed it up. Was loving two people at once so wrong? Many people had done it before, hadn't they? Even Izaak would always love Kasey, why was she the bad guy? A flash of anger struck her as she remembered his last painful comment to her about her twin and she stubbornly decided that it was Izaak's fault. He was the one that had been unfaithful and expected her to stay with him! No self-respecting person would ever stay in that situation no matter how much you loved the person.

Alexis' thoughts were moving so quickly and changing so often that she barely realized that Leah had actually spoken and when she went to insult him a certain anger crossed the eighteen year old. "Don't say that about him," she growled, knowing very well that she had said much worse only moments ago but it was different, or she thought it was. "Izaak loves her! He doesn't love me anymore, you know he doesn't, and even if there was some slim chance that he did... well I'm still moving out, aren't I? I'm still being replaced and I'm still not good enough," she said, angrily and loud at the beginning but it grew soft and hurt until it was a mere whisper.

During all of their relationship, Alexis felt that she was not good enough for Izaak, no matter how much she loved him there would always be that fear that he was going to come to his senses and leave her like he just had. "You know Leah, you're lucky," she said quietly, not bothering to explain her reasoning because she thought it was obvious, she didn't love anyone and no one loved her. She couldn't get her heart broken if it wasn't vulnerable to pain like her own had been.[/color]
 
A finger touched her nose and she smiled yet still feeling guilty that the two of them were happy out here on the decking while inside the house raised voices could still be heard. About to say something she did not get a chance as he moved closer, pinning her to the railing. Her breath caught in her throat, would she ever get fed up of this? Of his presence in her life? Of his body so powerfully close to hers? Of his heart beating as frantically and in sync with her own?

Bella looked into the beautiful blue eyes of the man she loved and knew that caution was a lonely bed fellow. That in matters of the heart risks had to be taken to secure that illusive deep and powerful love. His lips barely touched hers and yet her eyes seemed to stay closed for a while after wards. Savoring the taste, the feeling of serenity that he ignited while he was also able to excite her beyond all reason. His hands then held hers and as each finger curled around the adjoining one of his, Bella opened her eyes. His lips this time grazed her forehead before their eyes met, it was beautiful. She could not describe the absolute piece of heaven she saw in his azure orbs, his soul was there and it mirrored her own.

She had never heard his voice sound so excited, never before heard such hope waiting to be fulfilled, consummated by her own words. Could she really listen to her heart now and play it safe? No, she had been a Gryffindor after all and knew many things in life deserved a chance, the greatest things in life deserved some form of risk. They deserved the happiness they could give one another, the love that they felt keenly for the other.

Her lips gently brushed against his.
"Yes, this is us. We're together"
 
The growl that leapt from Alexis’ mouth startled her best friend, she had been foolish to think that the anger was out of her system but it was more the warning she gave that shocked Leah most. Only moments ago she had carved him up with snide comments and profanities and now here she was defending him? The young woman gave a shake of her head, perplexed by her friend’s sudden change of heart. “I’m his sister Alexis, I can say things like that about him. I did it even when you were together.” True the names she had called him were more often than not just a playful joust, but it was all the same thing anyway wasn’t it?

Leah tentatively shuffled in closer to Alexis as her coarse tone began to soften in heartbreak. Her arms came around her shoulders and she hugged her friend to her as much as she possibly could until her swollen stomach got in the way again. “Lex believe me, he does. I’ve known him his whole life and his love didn’t come any stronger than it did with you. Every time you called him, every time you came over, every time you smiled or blushed or just did anything really, he’d just light up. I don’t know if you saw it, but I did. Isabella, yes he may love her. But you know as well as anyone that you can love two people at once and you said it yourself, it just got too hard. That doesn’t mean he’ll ever stop loving you.” Leah sighed as her words came to a close, feeling like a therapist as she stroked a soothing palm along Alexis’ strawberry blonde hair.

"You know Leah, you're lucky," It seemed though that Leah thought otherwise as she froze in the midst of comforting her friend and drew back away from her friend. She didn’t think Alexis had meant to hurt her, but she did and now her heart was thudding with the dull ache of emptiness. “I’m a single mother of one with another baby on the way and you think I’m lucky?!” Leah’s eyes were wide with bewilderment as they stayed fixed on her friend, wishing her silently to take it back.
 
Alexis gritted her teeth, clenched her jaw and balled her fists at Leah's rebuttle to her angry words. She was shaken up inside by Izaak's words and still she wanted to be angry so she wasn't hurting, so the sting and bite wouldn't proove to be something more than a flesh wound. But as she looked into her friends eyes she couldn't bring herself to say awful things to her friend, she couldn't loose another Finch.

As Leah's arms engulfed her, Alexis rested her head on the girl's shoulder softly and listened to her friend's words. A shy smile wiped onto her face as she remembered looking into his eyes with nothing but love and it even caused the shadow that was hiding her gentle features to make way for a small ray of sunshine that was once again hidden by a downpour once she heard the name Isabella. The cruel reality hurt, she was never going to be with her love again. "It doesn't matter if we'll never stop loving each other," she said quietly, not caring just how selfish she would seem as she added, "Nothing counts if we aren't together."

Alexis didn't understand why Leah moved away from her so she straightened her back before slouching over once more. Her eyes widened with anxiety as Leah seemed to be hurt by what she said, oh that certainly was not the way she meant it. "You have unconditional love from one little boy and you will get more when your second comes. I love you, your family loves you and the way we love you is better then the way you are loved romantically," she said quietly, uncertain if she really believed it. "You can't get hurt," Alexis explained, knowing that it was likely that Leah wouldn't understand it but she did not wish heart break on anyone, not now, not ever. She didn't even wish it on Isabella and she would wish the plague on her.
 
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