If I Never Knew You...

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Nicolette Styx

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OOC First Name
Jessye
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
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Yew Wand 14" Essence of Fairy Dust
Nicolette ran her fingers softly over the freshly healed wound that she managed to heal without any issues, luckily it wasn't deep enough to scar her pale skin for an eternity either. 'I need to be far more careful.' she sighed softly to herself and removed her hands from the wound, she had sort of made a mess everywhere, but it's nothing she couldn't clean up quickly. For the past few weeks Nicolette had been working on healing various types of wounds, as well as testing the properties of medicine's, which meant that she usually had to injure herself in the process to create wounds for her to heal, it was a crazy method, but it would help later. "I think I made it too deep this time." She said to herself as she bandaged her arm. It had taken longer for her to heal this time, and caused her to feel light headed in the process, but she was feeling less of the effects now.

Nicolette had to admit that she was making making bad decisions lately, sneaking out, recruitment for Death Eaters, self-injury, and lack of caring for herself. It was all starting to add up to the point where she was even slightly concerned for the baby, but she would only get weaker if she didn't train herself. The aurors and James were not going to wait for her to get stronger, so she would have to do it on her own time. "What a mess.." She sighed and began to clean as quickly as she could, well.quick for a five month pregnant woman anyways. Once she was done cleaning she collapsed on the couch and sighed, when did she get so out of shape?
 
Cecily wiped the crumbs from the side of her mouth. Thankfully Prodan didn't say much about how much she could pack away while being pregnant. He'd know since their first official date that she could eat like a stoned frat boy in a muggle college town. Now that Elisaveta was growing steadily within her womb, she could eat twice that. Amazingly she was still trim and in shape all over, except for her belly and chest. She looked, as one student had put it within earshot, as if she had swallowed a quaffle. Today was one of her scheduled days off and she come to see her best friend. "Hey Niccy," she called out, holding the basket of oatmeal cookies over one arm as she came into the room, "I was thinking we should go for a walk--" She trailed off, stopping as her sensitive nose smelled the copper tint of blood and the stinging smell of antiseptic. "You look terrible, what's wrong?"
 
Nicolette quickly sat up when she saw none other than her best friend come into the room, she had forgotten that Cecily was prone to showing up on her days off from work. Making quick work to keep her bandaged arm out of sigh as much as possible he knew that Cecily sensed something, but hey...thats what lying was for right? "Nothings wrong, I just had a little clumsy moment." She smiled softly, although her smile and attitude seemed the same, her heart was aching and it showed in her eyes, her posture, even the hue of her skin, Nicolette was not well and she knew it. Stress was taking over and it was beginning to break her over, faster than it ever had before in her life.

"Did you bring cookies?" She asked weakly, changing the subject as quickly as possible, she wanted to avert Cecily's worry to avoid her possibly getting interrogated or yelled at for her foolish decisions. Nicolette wouldn't know what to say to her best friend to make if better either, except that she was lost and had no clue what she was supposed to do anymore.
 
Cecily came to her friend and sat down beside her. She set the basket aside on the coffee table and turned to her, laying her hand first on her forehead then her cheek. Her hand once more resting in her lap, her sharp green eyes took in her friends appearance. "Niccy, you're not telling me something. What's wrong, is it the baby?" She wondered if perhaps she needed to go to the infirmary at St. Mungo's.
 
Nicolette blinked confused, Cecily set the basket down before feeling her forehead and a cheek for a temperature. In fact she became even more confused when she was asked if it was about baby. 'Oh geeez...do I look that bad?' Nicolette realized that she looked sick and tired, but did she really look that bad so that people would notice that easily? Sitting up she stared at Cecily with widened eyes she was unsure what she could say to get her off her case but not make it seem obvious that she was lying. "I told you nothing was wrong, I'm just feeling a bit unwell...thats all." She forced a weak and fake smile, it felt wrong to have the smile on her face like that, but it was necessary so she wouldn't upset her best friend. The moment she sat up fully and went to put her arm down, she felt the wound begin to sting a bit, crap she must have forgotten to clean it out.

"Ouch." She hissed quietly, hoping Cecily wouldn't hear her. Rubbing her arm she placed into her lap and tried to think of something to say that could change the subject for her, if Cecily knew, then chances are she would tell Kalif or someone else that could get her in trouble.
 
Cecily shook her head and was about to admonish her friend for always downplaying her ailments when she caught the hiss of breath. The avoidance and the careful way Niccy was treating her arm. "What did you do?" Before Niccy could stop her, Cecily had her wrist in both her hands, carefully looking it over. Gently she peeled back the edge of the dressing and peered closely at the wounded flesh beneath. It wasn't the cut of an accident, it'd obviously been made by a precise hand. "You've cut yourself." Her voice was flat, carefully she replaced the bandage edge then set Niccy's arm back on her lap. "Would you like to tell me something?" Green eyes probed intently into golden, as if Cecily could read her thoughts.
 
Nicolette was once too slow in hiding anything from Cecily's hawk like eyes and almost gasped in shock when Cecily had grabbed her wrist and held it firm with both her hands. It hadn't taken her long at all to locate and figure out the wound was made on purpose rather than accident, boy that woman was sharp with situations like this. "No, but I know your going to bother me about it anyways." She sighed and ripped the bandage off her skin, the would was still looking a bit infected, but it looked like she had healed it to the point of not having to worry about it bleeding any longer. "I did this to practice my healing ability's on open wounds." Nicolette knew it sounded crazy and gross, but it had helping her perfect her skills a lot. However she needed to keep practicing on more and more severe wounds, which she wasn't sure she could keep doing to herself while she was pregnant with Damianos. Just as she stretched backwards her arms knocked something off the coffee table next to her, a file with many papers fell to the floor and she sighed loudly when she saw the papers fly everywhere.

"Oh dang..." She was a bit too tired and big to be getting up and picking up all those papers at the moment. But she knew she would have to as those were Death Eaters files of people whom she had tracked down and questioned about them ever becoming one. Most of them were people she knew, but she wasn't prepared to really let anyone see the work she had been doing.
 
Cecily's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean?" Her eyes flicked from the infected looking wound to Niccy's eyes. "You've been practicing on yourself?" she exclaimed, jumping up surprisingly quickly for a woman pregnant over five months now. She rubbed at her back and began to more waddle than pace. This was how Niccy was being looked after here? By being left alone for who knew how long every single day--she opened her mouth and nearly began to calm down when the files spread across the floor. One fell and landed open at her feet. She had to bend over slightly to see over her belly but a name jumped out at her. Slowly she managed to scoop it up and then held it up, reading it with a rapidly approaching horror. "What is this?" she hissed, eyes flying to spear Niccy's.
 
Cecily question what Nicolette meant by practicing on herself and immediately she snorted and tried to cover up a laugh that wanted to come out, she knew Cecily wouldn't appreciate her laughing. "I hurt myself, to practice healing my injuries..." She said with a small roll of her eyes, she knew that it would be obvious to most people, but Cecily wasn't used to this sort of thing happening. Her best friend had never seen how Nicolette originally learned healing, by having to keep herself or others from dying under pressure. It's scary and harsh, but man it works.

Nicolette bit her lip and began to fiddle with the edge of her dress when Cecily saw the files and picked them up. She became even more nervous when Cecily's face went from curious to horrified as she continued to read, yep she had seen the names. "Um...files of people I'm trying to recruit...as Death Eaters?" She asked as her eyes shifted away from Cecily's intense gaze. This day was going from bad to worse, and Nicolette was starting to wish that Cecily had stayed home.
 
Cecily picked up the rest of the papers as an unbelievable calm stole throughout her system. It was her very calmness that should have alerted anyone who knew her well that they were caught within the eye of a storm. She stacked the papers and calmly shuffled them back within their file folders. "You've been practicing. On yourself. Right then. Right." Cecily set them back onto the coffee table and straightened up. She walked away then walked slowly back and stopped, her hand on her hip, the other pressed fingers against her mouth. Suddenly Cecily erupted, the anger and pain bursting from her as though someone had flipped the switch on nuclear reaction. She didn't care who was within hearing distance within the house.

"You've been practicing on yourself, when you're carrying a child? How f***ing thick can you get? What were you thinking?" It should have said something that Niccy's well being and Damiano's was first on her mind. Her voice rose louder and louder until she had picked up the folders again. "Recruiting children Nicolette?" She threw the files at her, papers scattering around Niccy and the couch. "I trusted you! Believed in you! And how the f**k do you repay me? By trying to brand my kids?"
 
Nicolette immediately narrowed her eyes which were darknening more and more as the yelling continued, within a moment she too was standing and lgaring at Cecily with shock and anger. How could she go and yell at her for something that Death Eaters did, was she not only doing what was asked of her and what she believed was right. As the file and papers that she threw flew around her, she tightened her hands into fists, if this was the way Cecily want to play it, then so be it. "I'm a Death Eater, bringing in new members is what I'm supposed to do!" She hissed, her voice raising slightly Whether it was children or now, it didn't matter to her. Besides with all these Aurors crawling around, they needed all the help they can get. "They made the choice to join, so get off my f*cking back! You gotta start somewhere, so it might as well be while they are young!" Theodore was very hesitant at first, she remembered that part as much, but once she explained to him her view on it, he seemed less worried about it. Apparently he had't known how involved in his life the Death Eaters were, same with Kasura Malkov. But she managed to convince or force them all to change their minds.

And if I don't practice, how will I ever learn? I've been careful, do you really think I would harm my own baby?!" Now Nicolette was yelling too, Cecily didn't understand the pain, the suffering, or the scars that man had left in her life. She would give anything to make sure he stayed out of it, even if it meant harming herself in the process. "You don't understand anything!!" With all this yelling, she hoped no one would hear them and come downstairs, they didn't need to see this or get involved with their issues at the moment. Especially when all of this could get her in more trouble than she bargained for.
 
Cecily's cheeks grew red with her anger and her hands began to shake at her sides. "You're poisoning their minds! What you're doing, can't you see that it's wrong?" she beseeched her, her hands raising palms facing the ceiling. "Filling their mind with that Death Eater bullshit?! It's insane, it's stupid and it's just plain wasting their young lives!" She whirled away from Niccy, her hands going through her hair. She stood there for a moment, her back turned to her best friend. Turning, she eyed Nicolette with large, hurt green eyes, swimming with unshed tears. "When you told me about your past, about being one of them, I accepted that. I accepted you, because I love you." Her voice shook, a tear fell down her cheek. "But I thought that was exactly what it was, the past. I had no idea you were active." Tears began to fall hot and heavy down her cheeks by then. "You kept that from me, you've lied about what you've been doing."

Her teeth clenched to keep them from chattering as her body began to feel cold. "What did you promise them Niccy?" Her voice began to rise again as young Theodore's face swam through her mind. "What did you promise that boy? Eternal glory? Everlasting life?" She was shouting again, her voice cracking. "Did you promise him a noble death for your idiotic ideals of supremacy? Because that's where you're leading him! I know those Auror's g**damnit!" She went up to Nicolette and grabbed her uninjured arm, exposing her mark. "They will hunt you all down! They won't give up! You'll be in Azkaban or you'll be dead Niccy! And you're taking those children to hell with you!"
 
Nicolette couldn't believe she was hearing this from her best friend right now, did Cecily think she was only in this for the glory or the power? "Incase you haven't noticed Cecily, I AM A LITTLE INSANE!" Nicolette said the last part even louder than she was already speaking, for her to do half the the things she's done she would have had to be at least slightly insane. A few unshed tears were building up up in her golden eyes, she couldn't believe she was hearing this as if Cecily knew what was right and wrong to her. "I have never lied, you should have known what I was doing, I'm a Death Eater!" Nicolette lifted her sleeve and pointed to the mark that stood out vividly against her pale white skin, the mark that symbolized the side she choose, who she fought for, and most likely to be her demise someday. Dropping her sleeve she tried to catch her breath and brought a hand up to wipe the tears away from her face.

"I promised him a chance to do what HE thought was right." Theodore in the end was the one to decide his future, she only gave him paths to choose. If Theodore wanted to follow his father and become a Death Eater, to fight against the aurors like so many of his families members did, then that was his decision..not hers. "I could give a sh*t about the aurors, I'll kill them if I have to." When Cecily came back again and pulled her uninjured arm to expose her mark Nicolette stared at her with hate in her eyes. Cecily had no right to do that to her, she yanked her arm form Cecily's grasp and stepped back away from her friend. "I'm already in hell, I've been in there for 49 f*cking years Cecily!" She cried out, tears now beginning to fall from her eyes, she was so done with this Auror vs Death Eater crap, neither sides would ever be in piece as long as evil and good were right and wrong.
 
Cecily wanted to grab Nicolette, to dig her fingers into her arms and just shake her. Shake her until her neck was sore, shake her until her head was dizzy. Shake her until some semblance of sense got through to that thick head of hers. "Couldn't you just stop?" she cried out, her body trembling, feeling cold, her fingers beginning to go numb. "Couldn't you stop being with them? Live your life as it should be, the life you deserve, the life your child deserves?" she yelled. "Why do you all follow the insane ramblings of a disgusting rotting corpse? Voldemort was nothing but an inbred monster who was too much of a selfish coward to use those amazing gifts he was blessed with to help our kind!" She began to see faint spots at the edges of vision but pushed on.

"Murdering, raping, poisoning those minds too young to form a clear and just decision! Is that what you want our youth to grow into? A pack of savage murderers? Teach them that those with dirty blood are inferior?" Tears coursed down her face and thickened her hoarse voice. "Will they be the ones to beat their wives, their children? Will they be the ones who will hold them down and take away their choice, to mark them so badly that no amount of magic can ever heal them?" She just didn't understand, she couldn't understand this lunacy.

"Why can't you just stop?" she cried out, weeping harshly.
 
Nicolette couldn't keep her anger in anymore, Cecily just wasn't going to quit with this until their bond was broken was she? Starting to pace as she dug her hands into her head she wondered if she should just walk away now before something bad was said between them. "Cecily, just because I have the backbone to face my problems....doesn't make me the bad guy." Nicolette finally said with a dark look in her voice and darkened tone, she was done after this and there was nothing really that could be said to hurt her anymore. Cecily wasn't there to see James kill those people, to feeling him beat on her, the forced touches, the lies.

"Get away from me. I can do whatever I want, there's nothing you can do about it." Nicolette wiping her eyes as she tried to calm herself down.
 
"So that's it?" Cecily said bitterly, wiping her face with her balled up sleeve. "You'll choose those-those," her chin began to tremble, she pressed a hand to her forehead. The room began to spin, she fought not to lock her knees. Elisaveta began to move about excitedly within her, sensing her mum's distress. "You're better than this Niccy. Why are you letting him still run your life?" She didn't say his name, didn't need to as they both knew very well she meant James. "You say you're facing your problems? You're not!" A roaring buzz began in her ears, faintly.

Her eyes flew to Niccy's. "Don't you dare say I haven't faced my problems. Don't you dare Nicolette!" she snarled, her hands balling into fists by her sides. "Does Kalif know what you've been doing?"
 
Prodan and Kalif apparated into the house with the females. Kalif knew that Nicolette would be in deep trouble because she left...again. Kalif narrowed his eyes at the women yelling. Kalif nodded at Prodan, and his brother immediately went to Cecily's side, hand upon the shoulder. Kalif rolled his eyes and he raised his voice, his cold words cutting through the air, "Enough! Cecily, calm down this instant. Nicolette, you as well. Both are you are pregnant, and need to think about the child and not about this foolish argument. I have seen better behavior from first years. Now, Nicolette, get to the Styx Manor or have the entire family lock you up. Cecily, maybe it would be best to lessen your stress level. I think both of you need some time apart, or else you will rip each other to shreds. I doubt either of you want to lose your first child." Kalif folded his arms across his chest, and he stared at the two of them. He hated being the referee but this time, it was completely necessary.
 
Nicolette jumped slightly when Kalif came into the room and once again intervened and used that bossy nature of his to command such things. But his attitude did not to much to calm Nicolette down, especially with Cecily's last comment. 'If she tells Kalif I'm done for.' He would have her head and she would probably never see the light of day again until Damianos' birth. Turning she gave him an annoyed stare before she turned back to Cecily, a dark look still filled her gold eyes. "I swear to god if you tell him, I'll ruin you." She hissed and pointed at Cecily, her smirk fading into a small scowl, she was tired and she knew Damianos was beginning to feel her stress and anger as well. He was beginning to grow upset and restless.

"Yes, I choose the Death Eaters, and I am so facing my problems. This the reason why this whole f*cking fight was started." Nicolette hissed fiddling with her sleeve, she was a bit uncomfortable fighting with the men here, but she couldn't stop herself anymore, Cecily wasn't understanding why this was such a big deal to her. "YOU HAVEN'T FACED ANYTHING!!" She said finally with a snort, she removed her hands from her hips and turned her head so she wouldn't have to look at Cecily after she said that, it hurt her to yell like this, but she was angry.
 
Cecily leaned against Prodan, his strong body and presence helping to steady her. She tried to listen to Kalif, tried to so hard as she respected him and knew what he said to be true. Yet she was far from calm. Niccy's words rang in her head. Ruin her, like those tabloids had tried to. Ruin her, like Bearse had tried her entire adult life. Ruin her, as her own drinking problem had nearly done. "You'll ruin me?" she cried out. "Fine then, if that's how you want it, then maybe it's for your own good, you stupid cow." She still loved her best friend, still knew she was the sister of her heart. She didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to basically go against their friendship and basically tell on her. Yet if she didn't, if she let her continue on her self destructive path, she knew Niccy could get hurt.

"Kalif, she's been sneaking out and recruiting for the Death Eaters." Fresh tears spilled as her eyes met his. She didn't want to do this, it was killing her. "Look at her arm. She's been practicing making wounds on herself and healing them. Look at her damn you!" She felt anger at him, at everyone for not seeing what she saw. Nicolette looked like death warmed over. She turned her green eyes back to meet gold. "I won't face your funeral Niccy. Because that's where you're heading." The painful thought of never seeing her friend again, of not being able to do anything to help her, to save her, rushed through her and Cecily sagged against Prodan, her knees giving out.
 
Kalif rolled his eyes at the two women. Hormones are the worst thing that were ever created. Why must pregnant women be so bloody feisty and loud all the time? His eyes turned harshly to Cecily, and her words, it brought out anger within him about the same altitude of his father's. Kalif gave a cold look toward Nicolette, and he uttered, "What?" Though he was a Death Eater himself, he did not mind other Death Eaters, but she was strictly prohibited from doing such activities. He approached Nicolette, and he clinched her upper arms roughly. Kalif hissed, his blood boiling and his blood pressure rising, "If keeping you at the Styx Manor isn't enough, then you will be forced to stay at the Zhefarovich Manor, and I'll have Father deal with you. I don't have time for this nonsense."
 
Prodan bit his lip, and he held Cecily upright with his arms, both in support and comfort. He never liked seeing Kalif angry, because the results were never very nice at all. Prodan whispered in Cecily's ear, "Come on, baby. Calm down now, and I will take you home, and perform your favorite dance for you. I think you know which one I am talking about. The booty dance?" Prodan chuckled, and he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He just hoped that she would not want to stay here and stress herself out any more than she already was.
 
Nicolette's mouth dropped when Cecily dared to open her fat mouth and pretty much spill everything she's been doing to Kalif, who was absolutely the last person she wanted to know. When Kalif gripped her upper arms roughly she turned and glared at him; "Kalif, it's not like I'm doing any harm, I don't need to be locked up. " She hissed, not at all agreeing with his bossy and highly overprotective attitude. It wasn't like she was going to purposely going to go off and harm her son or anything, she didn't understand why he wouldn't let go anywhere to begin with, and now he was forcing her to be completely locked up, it wasn't fair at all, she shifted and tried to get out of his grip. "Please don't make me go..." She was a bit rusty at healing, but she managed to gain much of her skill back and could honestly say she knew what she was doing.

"Cecily, I hope your happy, consider us finished at this point. I'm sorry I even crossed paths with you." She sighed softly and hung her in defeat, she was headed Zhefarovich Manor and chances were her days of getting out and actually getting a breath of air were lost. Nicolette didn't want to be trapped, it reminded her too much of the past, even if she loved Kalif more than she ever did James, it was still all too familiar.
 
Cecily wrapped her arms around Prodan's middle and burrowed into his warmth as much as her belly would allow. "Please take me home." She tried to smile for him but it only came out a faint twitch of her lips in her pale face. She spared Niccy and Kalif a glance. "At least I know you'll be safe. That will have made this worth it." Cecily turned and pressed her face into Prodan's chest, telling him silently that she wanted to apparate home now.
 
"Obviously you do. If the Manor doesn't work for you, then I'll personally take you to Azkaban. I know you can't get away from the Dementors," Kalif responded harshly. Kalif was going to force her to go. A few months in the Manor should not pass by slowly. There were many things to do, and much to see. Much history to be learned as well. Kalif murmured, "It is for the best, Nicolette, and this time, you won't be able to get away to do something so stupid and risk our son." Kalif heard Prodan apparate with Cecily, and he smirked deviously, as he did the same thing, taking the pregnant woman with him to the Manor.
 
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