I thought I could

Taylor Blare-Edogawa

mama; mrs conan edogawa; ...9?
Messages
2,135
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
Wand
Mahogany Wand 14 inches Essence of Unicorn Hair
Age
8/2019
It had taken Taylor five days to come to this conclusion. She did not want to do this, but she knew she wasn't ready for a relationship. She had hoped she would be. She had only been dating Conan for a little over a month, it was one of the reasons she had decided that this needed to happen. If she wasn't too attached to Conan, this wouldn't be so hard. Unfortunately, she was already used to calling Conan her boyfriend. Introducing him as her boyfriend, writing letters to her Aunt and Uncle about her boyfriend. She had been so sure that she would be introducing him to them during Christmas, but it appeared that her thoughts were going to remain as such and not become a reality. She just couldn't do this to her family. Not after this. It was the most recent letter from her aunt that had brought her to this point. Five days ago, her aunt had written to her, to tell her that her cousins Corey had been injured in a motorbike accident and killed. At first Taylor had refused to believe it, that it couldn't possibly be true. Corey couldn't be dead because she was not going to be losing yet another member of her family. It just wasn't fair. Taylor had never believed in God, but she was beginning to feel as if someone of a higher existence was punishing her for something she had done in a previous life. She had cried for hours in the Owlery over the letter and it was only today, that she had managed a reply. She had basically told her guardians that she was thinking of them and that she would be returning during the bright stone weekend for the funeral. She was lucky for that small mercy at least.

Taylor walked into the Great Hall and immediately her eyes swept over the Hufflepuff table, in search of her boyfriend. She found him rather quickly, but found herself unable to smile at him. She already knew what she was going to do, she just didn't want too. But there was no other choice. She couldn't handle having Conan always trying to protect her from the world. It wasn't working. It wasn't his fault, but she needed some time, time to herself. Time she wouldn't get while she was dating Conan. She hadn't been entirely ready for a relationship in the first place, she had thought that she would grow to accept it and whilst she had grown accustomed to the thought of Conan and herself dating, the reality was different. She depended on him too much. Depended on him to support her more then she had a right too. They had only been together for a month and all she had accomplished in that time was to make the relationship between Conan and Ai, like three times worse. It was stupid, she knew that, but it was something she felt she had to do. She walked over to him, there was a seat he had kept for her, and she sat down, her legs on either side of the bench so that she was facing him. "We gotta talk."
 
Conan had a bruise plastered on his face and he was completely annoyed by that fact. It had only been yesterday since the big confrontation at the fifth floor with Ai and Jeremiah and he certainly had gotten a little souvenir from that and was also yet to tell his girlfriend about the said event. The Gryffindor had freaking punched him and it had hurt like hell since the freak was wearing rings. He had tried to chase the couple but the two seemed to have suddenly joined the Olympics in Track and Field and had made a new world record. And so, he had no other choice to go back to the common room with a bloodied face. The wounds from the ring had closed now and all that was left on his face was a bruise but still he wasn't glad about it. There would be hell to pay as soon as he would catch sight on that Gryffindor indeed.

This day though, he had particularly decided on heading to the Great Hall and waiting for Taylor there. It had been a month since they officially got together and he had been enjoying every moment with her. He really liked her a lot and it was evident that he was not being a jerk around her. He would always keep his attitude in check when around her, despite that, he still continued to be there for her even though she depended on him too much. Truth be told, he liked it when she depended on him for he felt useful. He arrived at the Hufflepuff Table and took his usual seat. He kept his eyes open, searching for Taylor and before long she was already beside him. "Hey," he said a smile on his face despite the bruise on his right cheek. His face suddenly went from a happy one to a bit of a confused and worried one. It was only in front of Taylor that he showed his true emotions and right now it was of utter confusion. "What's wrong Taylor?" he asked worriedly at his girlfriend.
 
Taylor sighed as she ran her fingers along the bruise on Conan's face. She didn't know where it came from, but she had a sinking feeling that it might have had something to do with Jeremiah. She sighed and wound her hands through Conan's not able to meet his eyes. What she had come here to say, was not going to be good, she could feel it and she knew she should probably do this somewhere else, but she didn't want to cry and if she was in public, she wouldn't cry. She needed him to believe what she was about to say, she couldn't have him digging for further information, she wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. She needed to process this on her own and she wasn't going to be able to do that with Conan around all the time. She really cared about Conan, but she wasn't sure that was enough. She looked at Conan finally, determination etched into her features. She needed this to happen and she needed it to happen now. "Conan. Conan I have to tell you something and it is going to be hard for you to hear, but I need you to listen to me. Okay?" She asked, running her thumb over his knuckles in a circle. The last few weeks with Conan had been fun, he had helped her alot, but she couldn't continue to rely on him so much, like she was doing. He had his own life too that he had to worry about, so she was taking the first steps to protect herself and to protect Conan.

She breathed out a stream of air she didn't realise she had been holding in and nodded to herself. She had to do this. No matter how much it made Conan upset with her. She had to do this. She was going to hate herself, she really cared for Conan. "I think we need to stop seeing each other. We need to not be a couple anymore." She told him finally. She was still holding his hands, she realised, and slowly pulled her hands away, balling them into fists on her thighs and hanging her head down, staring at her hands. She was waiting for Conan to say something, anything, so that she knew he didn't hate her. But what was she expecting, she wasn't even going to give him an explanation. She was the worst person right now, but she had to think about Corey.
 
Conan closed his eyes as fingers ran through the bruise on his cheek. Fingers of his girlfriend. He was quite enjoying the feel of her gentle touch along his damaged skin for it offered comfort and seemed to take away the pain it contained. The Hufflepuff was really glad that he had Taylor for a girlfriend because with her, it seemed like he needed no one else in his life. But then, he decided to throw those thoughts out of his mind for a moment. Something was wrong and he needed to find out what it was first before anything else could enter his mind. The Gryffindor was the most important to him right now, and if something or someone was bothering her, he would gladly do his best to get rid of her problems from her and take it on his own shoulders. He would do anything just for Taylor.

Conan let Taylor do as she pleases with his hand, he had taken a liking to her holding his hands and running fingers through it for it always had a soothing feeling. He looked at the prefect, worry evident in his eyes. Whatever the Gryffindor had to say was surely bad if she were acting this way. He nodded and spoke in a gentle voice. "Yeah. I'll listen," he smiled a small smile before taking her hand and holding it. He had to make sure that she knew he'd be there for her, that everything was going to be alright. Conan kept his eyes on her, his gaze so gentle that no one may have thought that this was the same person who could disown his own twin. Yet, as Taylor once again begun to speak, his eyes no longer showed gentleness. It showed confusion and shock. What is she talking about?! Is she breaking up with me?! were the thoughts in Conan's head as he was trying so hard to comprehend what was happening right now. "W-what do you mean?" he dared to ask as he looked at the Gryffindor girl right beside him. He did o't like what was going on. To him, it was only Taylor that mattered, yet right now, he was losing her with a reason that was completely unbeknownst to him. Now, he knew what Ai felt, but that was one of the last things in his mind. First, he wanted to know why this was happening. Why Taylor was breaking up with him.
 
Taylor sighed. She didn't want to have to do this, she just needed some time, some space, to think, to breathe, to do something. Her prefect duties had been keeping her pretty busy of course, but she needed something that would help her get her feelings in check. Breaking up with Conan had been a hard decision, but it was a decision that she had thought really hard about and eventually she had decided that this was the best thing for them. Maybe Conan wouldn't agree, and it was evident that he wouldn't, but what would he have her do. Maybe here in the Great Hall, wasn't the best place, but she just needed to say it. Prying eyes be damned, she needed her space and as far as she was concerned this was the only way to get it. She continued to ball her hands into fists and release them, wishing she could make this easier, but there was nothing to be done, at all. This was going to happen regardless of what she did to try and ease the pain, it was her unfortunate reality now. "I know, Conan, I'm sorry, I know, but..." What was she supposed to say now? She had rehearsed this one hundred times in the mirror, now the words slipped from her mind like smoke. This was not going so well at all.

Finally looking back up at Conan, the shock and confusion on his face made her sad and angry at herself, she wanted to explain to him, to help him understand, but she didn't fully understand it herself, how could she expect him too? She stood up and gestured for him to follow her. If she was going to go into anymore detail, she wanted to keep it between them, though she wasn't sure how much she was going to tell him. Walking out of the Great hall and into the corridor, Taylor leaned against the wall and slapped herself in the face, trying to psych herself up. She was being ridiculous, she could do this, she could do it! "Conan, I...um...I just really need some space right now... I think this is for the best." She was not going to cry over this! She didn't even cry over her ankle, why cry now! The answer was because she was freaking breaking her own heart. All this crap about young love be damned! She liked Conan! She didn't want to break up with him! But what choice did she honestly have, if she didn't she would pull him along and drag him into her business, he had enough on his plate without her.
 
For the first time in many years, Conan had absolutely no idea what to do. Ever since that big fight with Ai during their first year, the Hufflepuff boy would always have some kind of back-up plan. Or some comeback. Or an insult, something to say, anything to do! But now, nothing came to him. It was like, right now, he was the dumbest person in the world. He was just there. Sitting there, dumbfounded at what was unveiling before him right now. He didn't care where they were. He didn't care what time it was. He didn't even freaking care who was watching or listening to their exchange! All he cared about was what Taylor was telling him. What she was trying to do to him. And it hurt pretty d@mn much. She was apologizing and would that make anything better for him? It was not like her apology would take away the pain she was giving him. He was utterly shocked, his confusion couldn't be measured and the pain he was feeling was worse.

He followed her silently. His head kept high, but instead of showing pain when he stood, his face was stone hard. It was only towards Taylor, Raziel, Ryuuji and Ai that he had showed his true emotions. But he and Ai fought, Ryuuji siding with the latter. He could barely see Raziel anymore, and so it only left Taylor who knew how he felt everytime. But now, it was a possibility that no one would ever see his true emotions again. He liked Taylor a lot. Maybe she was even his first love, but did that still matter? Conan waited for the Gryffindor girl to speak and when she did. He did not know anymore what he felt. Pain? Anger? Sadness? They were fusing inside of him. His face was stone hard yet one look in his eyes and anyone could see he was severely hurt. "How is this for the best? You wouldn't even f***ing tell me what's wrong," he said his voice deadly calm, his hands in his pockets were balled into fists. He wanted to smash something. Destroy something. He was slowly becoming irrational and despite his pain and anger, he didn't wish to say or do anything that could potentially make this situation any more worse and painful that it already was. Perhaps, it would be better if he left now.
 
Taylor just stared at Conan in open mouthed shock as he yelled at her and not only did he yell, he swore. She had never thought that he would swear at her, he had never sworn at her. Not many people at all had sworn at her. This was a whole different side to Conan, clearly. She went to place her hand on his cheek again, but flinched backwards at the look in his eye, dropping her hand limply to the side instead. There was nothing she could say to him to fix this, nothing she would want to say. It was too early to bring him in, she needed to sort all of this out for herself. The hurt in his eyes was enough to break her resolve and slowly tears started to well in her eyes before silently falling down her face. She reached up to wipe them away, before turning away from Conan and biting her lip, because really, who cared anymore. He didn't understand and she was hurt by that, but she also knew that there was nothing for him to understand. This had come out of nowhere after all. She sighed and with one last look over her shoulder at her now ex-boyfriend, Taylor made her way back towards Gryffindor tower. This chapter of her life had come to an end.

Fin


 

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