Closed guidance

Elijah Edogawa

definitely not an expert
 
Messages
274
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Too Young to Care
Wand
Curly 12 Inch Rigid Mahogany Wand with Hippogriff Feather Core
Age
09/2050
Elijah never gravitated towards the Quidditch pitch, unless he was watching a game because it wasn't his thing. He liked it well enough but he was more interested in his classes and in charms or transfiguration, into the more academic stuff than he was into the physical aspects of flying or Quidditch like half of his family. But today, the pitch had called to him - not because of the sport itself, but because of who might be there. Jonah had seemed... off lately. Quieter than usual, his easy smiles replaced with something more strained. It wasn't like Jonah to let things weight him down without talking about them, but Elijah couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and as much as he valued his own solitude, Eli knew he couldn't let his brother shoulders whatever it was alone.

The stands were empty, save for the occasional gust of wind rustling through the banners. Eli lingered by the edge of the field, hands stuffed into his pockets as he scanned the expanse of green. He wasn't sure if Jonah would be here - he could be in the common room, or off with friends - but this felt like a good place to start. Jonah loved Quidditch after all, and the pitch was like all of their second homes. Whenever any of them were struggling, flying usually did the trick. He shuffled his feet, glancing down at the grass before looking up again. “Jonah?” he called, his voice steady but not too loud, not wanting to disrupt the peace of the afternoon. Maybe Jonah would hear him. Maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, Eli was determined to wait. His brother deserved that much, at least.
 
Jonah hadn't flown on his broom unless he needed to since that one Flying class. Needed to only include Quidditch. If he wasn't doing Quidditch then he remained with his feet on the ground. It felt weird sometimes because he'd always thought he was born to fly. But flying felt wrong most days. Quidditch barely felt right. Sometimes, he thought he was a fraud, and just managed to join the team because no one else tried out. And then managed to stay on the team because someone had left. He'd almost quit. But it felt wrong to disappoint people just because sometimes he thought he was a fraud. Sometimes though, sometimes, he'd find himself staying in the Pitch after practice ended and just be sitting up in the stands. He'd look out into the field and wonder what it was like to be standing here instead of flying out there. Or he'd look out further than the Pitch. He's not quite sure what he looks out to on those times, but sometimes it was just nice to stick with the quiet air. He hadn't been sitting up in the stands for very long when he heard Elijah call out to him. He debated between answering and just leaving the boy be. It only took a second longer to plaster a grin he didn't quite feel on his face. "Elijah. Need anything?" he calls out loudly as he grabs his broom debating on flying down or taking the stairs.
 
Eli's gaze snapped up to the stands as Jonah's voice carried over to him. That grin... he knew it well. The one that didn't write meet his brother's eyes. It as the same one Jonah wore whenever he was trying to convince everyone, maybe even himself, that everything was fine. He squinted slightly against the sunlight, raising a hand in an awkward half-wave. “Just wondering where you’d run off to,” he called back, keeping his tone light but not too casual. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the silence stretching between them for a beat longer than Elijah would have liked. “Didn’t mean to interrupt or anything,” he added, his voice softer now, less concerned about being heard and more focused on being understood. “Just thought... maybe you could use some company.” He stuffed his hands back into his pockets, resisting the urge to climb up into the stands himself. Jonah wasn’t the type to want people prying, and Elijah knew better than to push too hard too quickly. But if Jonah gave him even the smallest crack in that façade, Elijah would be there, ready to let his brother know he didn’t have to go through whatever this was alone. “You alright up there?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, a hint of skepticism colouring his voice. It wasn’t quite a challenge - more like an invitation.​
 
Jonah leaned over the edge, trying to find Elijah. It was easy enough to spot him in his Ravenclaw robes at the edge of the Pitch, but still within eyesight if Jonah leaned over far enough. It was odd for Elijah to seek him out, when he'd always preferred to be left to his own devices. Jonah remembered many times when he would seek the Ravenclaw out - Sayuri too on occasion - before Hogwarts to be met with annoyance for disturbing him. He hadn't noticed before. Now it seemed like Elijah was always on his tail, whether to reprimand him or to get on his case about his studies. He didn't know which one it would be this time. The silence stretched between them a little too long - Jonah really didn't have much to say these days. "Practice is over," he called out. There wasn't really anything to interrupt, except Jonah's musing. But that wasn't important.

Honestly, Jonah... Jonah didn't want the company. Most days, he preferred to be alone. But he'd given up on that. Lumos and Felix were constantly by his side when each of them could. The only time they couldn't was when he was in the Hufflepuff Common Room and dormitories. There wasn't anywhere where he could be alone in there. The only bit of alone time he gets is here, after practice. But of course, Merlin decided he couldn't have that. He let the silence hang over them, neither inviting Elijah to come up nor refusing. He couldn't help but notice how high up the stands were though. He supposed they had to be to watch Quidditch properly. Had they always been this high? He had spaced out then - that happened a lot lately - until Elijah called out asking if he was alright. Jonah grinned then, heart racing,
"Yeah. I'll come down. You wait there," he said as he turned around, walking towards the stairs, broom in hand.

OOCOut of Character:
Leaving this post formatted as it is because Ditse told me to.
 
Last edited:
Eli's eyes followed Jonah as he started making his way down, the hint of a grin still lingering on his brother's face, despite the distance between them. He watched him for a moment longer, then straightened up, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. His hands were back in his pockets, but his shoulders remained tense, as if ready for whatever Jonah was about to throw his way. "You know you don’t have to pretend, right?" Eli called out, voice steady but with an edge of concern hiding just beneath the surface. “I get it, you want to be left alone, but I’m not gonna just act like everything’s fine if it’s not.” He gave Jonah a long, measuring look as his brother came closer, that same quiet, unspoken weight between them. He wasn't pushing, not yet, but he wasn’t about to let Jonah bury whatever was going on, either. "Still think you could use a bit of company though," he added, voice softer now, the gruffness fading. "Even if it’s just me." He loved seeing Jonah taking to flying, playing Quidditch. He knew it was what his brother was meant to do. Honestly he wished he was as gifted in flying as his brother, as gifted in being a chaser. Hina-nee had her gymnastics, and Jonah up until recently had his Kendo. Rose had her flying as well, and Sayuri too, they all had hobbies outside of that, something athletic. What did Eli have? Nothing more than his ability to study well. He didn't even know where he got that from really. And now Jonah hated him, and it was provably what he deserved. He'd broken Jonah's wrist. How could he do that? He hadn't even realised. He was a terrible person and brother really. But he could he fix it now? It was probably too late and Jonah would hate him forever, he certainly wouldn't blame his brother really.​
 
Jonah wondered if it said a lot that he was putting on grins that he didn't really feel. Felt like an outsider in his own skin sometimes. Some days, he didn't have to pretend. That was rare though. He didn't think he had to with Lumos, who'd caught him wandering the Forbidden Forest. Or with Felix who'd been the first to see him after he'd broken his wrist last year. He hesitates with Will sometimes, and he supposes he's not hesitating with Will as much as he's hesitating with Eurydice. They were practically joined at the hip, and he wouldn't want to give his friend trouble by asking him not to relay things to his cousin. With family, he didn't know. He was enough of a disappointment without letting them know that sometimes he didn't feel like he belonged anymore. Or that he deserved to belong. They all had something they were good at, while Jonah felt like a fraud. He didn't even feel like he belonged on a broom anymore, not since those Flying classes. What a joke. And that's why he was making his way down the stairs with his broom in hand when before he would have just jumped on it and flown his way down.

Jonah was catching his breath by the time he reached where Elijah had been waiting. He hadn't known what Elijah wanted from him, but Jonah hadn't really expected that it would be to corner him. Or at least that's how it felt. He was starting to wonder if it was a Ravenclaw thing. He wouldn't understand. He was no Ravenclaw, even if he wished he could have been one once upon a time. It never really seemed to matter what Jonah wanted anyway. "Everything's fine," he chuckled, a hollow sound even in his ears because he wouldn't know what to do if he ever admitted to the opposite. He didn't know if he could use some company. Sometimes, he thought he didn't, but what did he know really? And he wasn't nearly so stupid as to shoo Elijah away and make their parents think that something was wrong between them when there wasn't supposed to be. "Okay, what are we going to do?" He didn't think he had a study session with Lumos today anyway.
 
Why did Jonah keep doing this? He couldn’t understand. It was so clear that something was wrong, especially with his barely there answers to anything Eli was saying. That wasn’t the Jonah Eli knew and he’d be damned to think that it was just because Jonah was tired. If this hadn’t been an ongoing occurance, he might have believed that, but it was hard to believe anything out of his brothers mouth when he was getting mixed responses like this. Their parents had thought they’d fixed the situation when they’d forced Jonah and Eli into a room together, but Eli wondered now if it hadn’t simply made the situation worse. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. Would it be better to go to dad and tell him that Jonah wasn’t okay? Would that make a difference or would doing that just make the situation even worse? He really didn’t know what the right thing to do was, and clearly Jonah wasn’t enjoying being here. He’d thought it was just because of the japanese-english issue, but the more they went along, the less he believed that.

He just didn’t know what he should believe instead. He frowned, staring at Jonah, almost willing him to explain what was wrong because the usual banter between them just didn’t exist. Well, that was mostly true for all of them, honestly. His banter with Rose and Sayuri wasn’t great these days either, so actually maybe Eli was the problem? Rose was out there making friends, as was Sayuri, he’d seen her with that boy in her house a couple of times, and Jonah definitely had friends. They all had Slytherin friends, which seemed a little funny to him. So maybe it was actually Eli who was the odd one out who wasn’t sure he could really consider anyone a friend right now. Lili spent more time with everyone else in her periphery after all. Maybe Eli was the one causing the problems? Maybe if he left, everyone else would have a better time. “Actually,” he said, taking a large step back because it was only too clear Jonah didn’t actually want to be around him. “You know what, don’t worry about it. You look like you’d rather be literally anywhere else, so, sorry I bothered you, Jonah.”

Yeah, he’ll go talk to dad about dropping out and heading back to finish his schooling at Mohoutokoro. Since he wasn’t wanted here anyway. If his siblings didn’t want him around, what right did he have to force the issue?​
 
There had been a time when Jonah and Elijah had been inseparable. Not really because they didn't want to be separated from each other, but because Jonah didn't like being separated from Elijah. He didn't like separating from Rose either, but sometimes, it was just better to give Rose her space so as to not overwhelm her. And she spent a lot of time with their parents. Elijah preferred to spend his time alone with his books, like Sayuri did. But Jonah. Jonah liked to spend his time with his siblings. If someone were to tell Jonah from two years ago what is happening now, he would have said they were crazy.

Something shifted when they started Hogwarts. Now that Jonah thought about it, his parents may have expected that Jonah and Elijah would be separated. He wasn't nearly as prepared for it. He remembered the slew of emotions that entered him when he was sorted into Hufflepuff. Elation that he was just like Dad, excitement that he was in the same house as Corey-nii. And then the realization that it was not Elijah's house. The shock. The frustration. And then Rose was in a different house, too. And Jonah felt like the rug was swept under his feet. He remembered crying and Elijah getting mad at him for it. And something shifted. In those early days, Jonah felt like it was just him who was against the whole thing. He wanted to be in Ravenclaw, but Elijah had been mad at him, so Gryffindor felt like the only choice. He'd even broken into the Headmaster's office for it only to be solidly told that he could only stay in Hufflepuff. His siblings seemed to adjust to school life well enough, while all Jonah did was struggle.

Something cracked that day Elijah and him fought underneath the stands. It wasn't like he and Elijah never fought. But perhaps every single day had been building up to that point. Before, when he and Elijah fought, Jonah would just sneak into Elijah's room and onto his bed. And then somehow at some point, they'd end up alright. He probably cried and apologized. It all seemed so far away. He couldn't do that after Sorting. And so he and Elijah never properly made up or talked. Then Elijah pulled him by the hair underneath the stands and yelled at him like he never did before and refused to believe anything Jonah was saying, and it made Jonah feel like Elijah didn't care about him at all. There Jonah was, trying everything he could think of to move houses or catch Elijah's attention because Elijah was the brother Jonah looked up to and Elijah cared more about other people. Something in Jonah snapped, and things between them cracked.

Now. Now, it felt like a chasm had formed between him and Elijah with that step back, and Jonah could only watch. Because honestly, Jonah didn't know what to do. He thinks he still loves his family, and that was never going to change. Perhaps that was the problem - he only thought and not felt. Most days, all Jonah could feel was hollow. Some days were better than others. And while spending time with his siblings since that fight made him feel uneasy, anxious, and nearly wanting to scratch out his skin, he'd never really wanted to make Elijah feel like how he almost constantly felt. Unwanted. Unimportant. Dead weight. "Tomorrow," he said unsurely. He couldn't today. Couldn't summon enough energy to feel anything but cornered. But tomorrow - tomorrow was something he decided so maybe it would be better. "I was going to... I wanted to... In the Gardens, I was going to try and read History. If you want to join me tomorrow." That was the only thing Jonah could offer. Flying... Flying and Quidditch felt too much, but he thought he could handle an afternoon trying to decipher his History book while surrounded by flowers.
 
Eli took a moment to breathe through his nose, quiet, steady, but his fingers curled slightly in the pockets of his robes as Jonah laughed. It was that same empty sound that had been slipping into his voice a lot more lately and Eli didn’t like it, but he didn’t know how to start to fix it, because he didn’t know why it was there, not really. He wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that they were both just pretending, or that they both seemed to think they had to. And if he knew that, why couldn’t he stop pretending? It wasn’t like he couldn’t just say it, but then speaking it aloud might make it more real and if they pretended nothing was wrong, maybe they could make it be true. He scoffed in his mind, he knew that wasn’t true and yet…

He wasn’t going to push, he knew his brother well enough to know that pressing him right now was only going to make him retreat further than he was. As much as he desperately wanted his brother to understand… or maybe to help him understand, it was very clear Jonah was uncomfortable in his presence, and he didn’t want to risk what tiny tentative pull they seemed to have with each other. Jonah was willing, for now at least, and it was just going to have to be enough. But he wasn’t willing to fully drop it either.

“Hm, dunno,” he said after a moment, shrugging as if it wasn’t the entire reason he’d come here in the first place. “Do you want me to help with translations? You’re better at Japanese than me anyway,” Jonah knew way more Kanji, Eli had fallen out of practice and really did need to be getting back to it actually. He scanned Jonah’s face for any sign, and indication of a crack in the armour, the facade, whatever he wanted to call it. But it was so hard to tell because he felt like he just didn’t know Jonah anymore. “Learning more Kanji, there’s a terrifying thought.” He added after a moment. “But, okay, tomorrow then.”
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top