Closed Find The Words

[Blake van Houten]

Winter was always the hardest season for Quidditch, and with his nose frozen and lips chapped, Blake felt the warmth of home like an embrace, pulling him close and soothing his aching muscles. He had known playing professionally would be a different level than a school team, but even after a year the exhaustion still surprised him sometimes. But no matter how hard his day was, how badly the icy air stung, there was home to look forward to. And Lars. Though they had lived together with Lars' family before graduation, having their own home was entirely different. It was bliss, coming home to find Lars half-smeared with paint, listening to him talk about his latest piece while Blake did his best to make dinner. (Cooking had always been a girls thing at his home, but Blake was doing his best.) Telling him about practice while they huddled under a blanket on the sofa eating whatever parts of Blake's latest concoction somehow hadn't burned. Sharing their lives together.

All of these thoughts swirled around Blake's head as he lay awake, far later than he should be. Glancing at the clock by the bed, Blake knew he had to be up to get ready for practice in a few hours. But sleep couldn't crack the wall of thoughts encircling him, memories and feelings of the past year - the past several years - all surrounding him. He was only distracted slightly when Lars shifted, looking up to see he wasn't the only one up far later than they should have been. "Hey." He murmured, rolling slightly to kiss Lars' jaw, too comfy to make it all the way to his lips. "Crazy we've already lived here for a year, isn't it?" Blake said softly, the thought the first one to tumble its way to the front of his busy mind. "Feels like no time and forever at the same time..."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Living with Blake was a bit like living in a dream. Lars loved their little place, loved being with Blake and seeing him every day. He had been a bit homesick at first, missing his home on the other side of the world. But he was used to living in New Zealand for most of the year already, and he could visit his family whenever he wanted. Blake was bringing in good money from his Quidditch career, which was lucky for Lars because he wasn't really making much money at all. He had been considering teaching art classes, but something about the idea of teaching people how to do something terrified him. He was pretty bad at explaining his techniques, the idea of having to put his thoughts and his process into words stressed him out.

It was one of the many things that made him lie awake in the evenings long after Blake had drifted off to sleep. It didn't matter much, Lars usually slept in long after Blake had already left for work. But tonight, it seemed like Blake wasn't asleep yet either. He saw Blake was awake and smiled slightly at the soft greeting. "You need to sleep." He murmured. "Yes, it is crazy..." He added. "I feel exactly the same way." He added quietly, reaching over to take Blake's hand. "I wanna... stay like this forever." He added sleepily, sure Blake understood what he meant.

 

[Blake van Houten]

It was a relief when Lars wasn't upset with him for disturbing whatever thoughts he was having, and Blake laughed softly at the instruction to sleep. "Was thinking." He mumbled, listening as Lars spoke and gently lacing their fingers together. It was a relief in a strange way, to hear that they had been thinking along the same lines, and Blake was reminded all over again how lucky he was to be here, to have this life, to have this love. He squeezed Lars' hand and gently lifted it to his lips, kissing his knuckles softly. "I want that too." Blake murmured, letting his mind wander to the future, to being thirty and taking Lars to a birthday dinner. To being fourty, hefting up their child so they could give Lars a goodnight kiss on the cheek. To being fifty, watching Lars paint a mural on their living room wall. To being sixty, holding their first grandchild. Just the thought made his heart ache, and he squeezed Lars' hand gently. "It's all I want. I wanna stay exactly like this, get old together, share our lives..."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars laughed softly as Blake mentioned staying together, growing old together. He turned over on his side and tucked his face into Blake's neck, kissing the skin there softly. "Sappy." He murmured fondly, leaning close. "But I want that too... the whole thing." He murmured, squeezing his hand tightly. "I wanna be with you forever."

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake shifted slightly as Lars moved closer, cuddling him in and wrapping a gentle arm around him. He rubbed lightly at Lars' back and kissed the top of his head, taking a moment to enjoy the rare experience of looking down at his boyfriend, rather than the other way around. He laughed lightly when Lars called him sappy, nodding slightly. "You made me this way." He teased, giving Lars a light prod in the side. Though he wasn't laughing when Lars continued, shifting to rub his back gently instead. "Yeah..." Blake said quietly, turning the thought over in his head. Blake was certain this was what he wanted - a forever with Lars. And Lars wanted the same. And really, there was one thing that meant. "Should... we be thinking about getting married?" He asked quietly, heart dropping with nerves as the word escaped. "I mean... I... I would... want that, but... if it's too early..."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars snorted when Blake said he had been made sappy by Lars. He shook his head, cuddling closer. "No I didn't." He murmured against his skin. "You've always been sappy." He murmured. "Deep down." He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer, ignoring the prod in his side. His eyes closed and he felt himself drift off to sleep a bit. When Blake mentioned getting married, Lars huffed out a sleepy breath. "Of course we're getting married." He murmured against Blake's skin, with a confidence he'd never have if he had been fully awake. "Obviously.." He murmured.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake giggled softly when Lars called him sappy, kissing the top of his head again when he cuddled close. "Yeah, well you made me sappy on the outside." He teased, still amused. Lars sounded so tired Blake wondered for a moment if he had heard his question at all, if he was suddenly the most nervous he had been since their first kiss for no reason. But then Lars spoke, and though he sounded half asleep his words unwound the knot in Blake's chest, and he couldn't hold back a small delighted laugh, hugging Lars fiercely and kissing the top of his head again. He had always pictured something grander - sweeping Lars off his feet after winning the World Cup and popping the question midair, maybe - but this... this was perfect. Just the two of them, together and emotionally raw, just like they had started. "Obviously." He murmured in delighted agreement. "Should... we go ring shopping this weekend, then?" He asked quietly, mind now racing with thoughts. Blake van Houten.... it sounded good, it sounded right, and part of Blake wished they could just get married right now, by themselves in this bed, to hell with waiting and planning.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars laughed sleepily when Blake said he made him sappy on the outside. "Sap is dutch for juice. So you're juicy." He murmured, half asleep. He groaned, his body jolting when Blake suddenly hugged him tight and kissed his head, waking up a bit more. "Wh-" He said, yawning. "Blake, what's wrong?' He opened his eyes, blinking a few times. "Shopping..." He murmured, frowning. Then his expression cleared and his eyes widened as he remembered what he had been half-dreaming about. "Oh." He said, suddenly awake. "Oh."

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake giggled at Lars' language joke, heart feeling lighter than it ever had. He remembered the word, though he hadn't quite put the pieces together. His Dutch wasn't anywhere near fluent, but he had been doing his best. For his Fianceé. He only faltered when Lars asked what was wrong, loosening his grip and looking the older man in the eye. "What?" He asked uncertainly. "Are... what's wrong? Do you want to... wait?" He asked hesitantly. "I can, I mean, I can... do it myself, if you want... if you want to... do the whole thing. I can buy the ring and surprise you, do it properly." He said, starting to ramble as his mind rushed to the idea of proposing to Lars after catching the snitch at the World Cup. There would certainly be a kind of poetic symmetry to that, but winning the World Cup was a fair sight less likely than his win at Hogwarts had been.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars sat up quickly, running a hand through his hair. He blinked, shaking his head when Blake asked if he wanted to wait. He rubbed his face. "I... no, I was just half asleep." He admitted. "I am awake now, right?" He asked, glancing at Blake a little nervously. "Uh, no. I don't need the ring and proposal part. This was good." He said softly, a nervous smile appearing on his face. "I just thought I was still dreaming, you know?" He murmured, shaking his head a bit in disbelief. "I guess I slept through my own proposal." He mused.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake felt his face heat up as Lars confessed that he had been half-asleep. He had known they were both out of it, but didn't realise quite how much Lars had drifted. "Oh..." He said awkwardly, reconsidering the whole conversation, though he did laugh a little at Lars' last comment. "Do.... do you want this, then?" He asked quietly. "I mean, I'll... I get it, if it's too fast, if you just agreed because you were asleep." He paused, heart aching at the thought. "I do, though." He added, unable to help himself. "Want to marry you, I mean."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars laughed softly and shook his head. "Don't be stupid." He said softly, draping an arm around Blake and cuddling against him. "Of course, I want this, I even said yes in my sleep." He bit his lip. "I'd always say yes to you." He added quietly, leaning on his shoulder a bit. He shivered at Blake's last words, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. "I want to marry you too." He said softly. "And I don't want to wait a long time."

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake couldn't have stopped the grin that split his face even if he wanted to, feeling as though his heart would burst. "Good." He blurted, before he could even really think about it. "Neither do I." This was really happening. His heart was soaring. "Ring shopping this weekend, then? And... we can choose a venue and start... organising things? We'll have to make sure it's not during the Hogwarts term, so your sisters can come." Blake knew he should be trying to calm himself down and sleep, but his mind was racing now. "And... I want to take your name." He added quickly, before he could second-guess himself. He had thought about it before in idle daydreams of their future - the van Houtens had taken him in when his own family wouldn't, and it only felt right. "If... you're okay with that, I mean."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars laughed softly when Blake immediately started to plan. He nuzzled into him. "Don't need rings." He murmured. "But I guess... that's part of it." He gently squeezed Blake's hand. "We can plan things soon... maybe if we're a bit patient we can do it when my sisters have graduated." He said hesitantly. "Though I don't know if you want a winter wedding." He added, frowning slightly. He shook his head slightly to clear it, this still felt unreal. "These are things we can figure out in the morning." He murmured. But when Blake said he wanted to take his name, Lars glanced at him hesitantly. Then he nodded. "If you're sure." He said softly. "Of course I'm fine with that."

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake chuckled lightly at Lars' comment, kissing the top of his head. "We don't need them, but I want them." He teased. He wanted something he could look at, see every day to remind him, to show the world that he and Lars belonged together. Blake nodded at Lars' suggestions, smiling slightly. "You're right. We'll sort it out in the morning." He ran a hand lightly along the line of Lars' spine, nodding when Lars asked if he was sure about the name. "Definitely." He said softly. "I... you know how I feel about my dad. I can't... I would rather..." The words wouldn't come, so instead he just kissed Lars softly on the forehead. "Blake van Houten sounds nicer, anyway..."