Closed Facing Old Fears

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily was struggling. With all of her closest friends on different quidditch teams, she was sure it was time for her to get over her fear of heights. For the last hour she had been slowly trying to circle around the quidditch pitch on a school broom, hovering really close to the ground. She would get comfortable with being on a broom, raise up a bit, and then look down. And then she would freeze up and face plant back on the ground again. She was determined, despite her growing frustration at the whole thing. Why couldn't she just be normal?! She cried out as she fell onto the ground again, pushing up and swiping at the angry tears. She kicked the broom away, her lower lip trembling as she looked at her grass-stained clothes. This was hopeless.

 

[Jasper Night]

While Jasper enjoyed being part of the Quidditch team, it was tiresome to spend all his practices with Blake around. He wished the other boy wasn't on the team, but knew he was unlikely to leave. Sometimes it was a lot more chill to just practice on his own, not having to worry about Blake seeing him mess up or making fun of him. He was heading to the Quiddith pitch with his broom after class, and was a bit disappointed when it became clear he wasn't on his own. There was nothing like having the pitch to himself, but he supposed he could share. But then he noticed who it was, and he frowned as he approached a very angry looking Lily. "Hey... what did that broom ever do to you?" He asked, attempting for a joke. "Are you okay?" He added, staying at a small distance as he watched her. Jasper's words came back to him, but he had to assume the Gryffindor had been lying or wrong. He couldn't deal with those thoughts now.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily looked up, startled to see Jasper. She pouted, pulling her knees up to her chest and looking away. "I was just being stupid," She complained, sniffling. "I thought- it doesn't matter. I still can't do it." She groaned, wiping her sleeve across her face. "I'm so pathetic. All my best friends are quidditch stars and I can't even fly," She sighed, picking grass off of her clothes and refusing to meet Jasper's eyes. He would think she was ridiculous, she knew it.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper frowned at Lily and her words, shaking his head. "C'mon, get up." He said to her, not too gently. "There's no use sitting on the grass feeling bad for yourself, right?" He told her, only not offering his hand because he wanted to keep his distance. "First of all, not all of your best friends are Quidditch stars, just me." He grinned, showing he was joking. "Second... who cares if you're good at flying or not, Lily? It's not really that useful a skill outside of Quidditch, and you have a bunch of other things you're good at. Does it really matter?"

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily looked surprised at Jaspers tone. She looked away, sniffling. She sighed at Jaspers words, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I just dont want to be afraid anymore," she admitted softly. "I thought my fear of heights would go away when I was older, but I just- it hasnt gone away." She hugged her knees tighter. "I'm just tired of being scared all the time, of my stupid stutter and my hesitation." She spoke softly, sadly.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper had hoped he could motivate Lily, but it seemed like his tone just made her more sad. He sighed. "C'mon, Lils... everyone's afraid of something." He told her. "But if you want to practice flying, I could help." He suggested with a shrug. "If you're really sure." He frowned a bit then, at her next words. "What does that have to do with your fear of heights? Lily, you're fine the way you are... and you're not stuttering as much lately."

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily glanced up at Jasper, sighing and pushing herself to her feet. "Well, I'm still scared of spiders," She joked lightly, rubbing at her damp cheeks. "I just... feel like it's stopping me, and I don't like it," She rubbed her arm. "Could... you really help?" She hesitated, biting her lip. "I just freeze up and fall off," She sighed, glancing up at him and away again. "I want to do better, I do, I just... don't know how..."

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper smiles. "I think spiders are a reasonable fear. They're creepy." He admitted. Jasper shrugged when she asked if he could really help. "Well, you're probably better off asking Professor Holland or something... I don't actually know how to help anyone get over their fear. But I am very good at flying, so there's that." He grinned confidently. "What if we both fly at the same time? I could catch you if you fall."

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily sighed. "I don't want to bother the Professor again... I was such an embarrassment during first year when we had our flying lessons." She bit her lip, nudging the broom over with her toe. "It's pointless... I can't even get off the ground. I start to get in the air and just... freeze. And then I hit the ground." She gestured at her grass-stained jeans, feeling very dejected. "Thanks anyway," She gave him a weak smile before moving to shuffle past him, shoulders slumped in defeat.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper shrugged. "I don't think it was embarrassing." He told Lily when she said that she didn't want to ask Professor Holland. "And... that's why I said we could fly together, I could fly next to you." He told her with a frown. "Wait, where are you going?" He added, as Lily started to walk away. "Didn't you want my help?" Why was she giving up after he offered her help? Girls were weird. "Lily, c'mon!" He said, going after her.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily hesitated as Jasper came after her. "I don't think I can fly by myself, Jasper." She managed, staring at the ground with her arms around her torso. "I can barely get off the ground, I would just knock you over with me." She bit her lip, shaking her head. "The only way I might actually fly would be if we shared a broom and that- I can't just ask that, you're on the Quidditch team, you don't have time to baby me," She sighed, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper shrugged as Lily said she could barely get off the ground. He expected she was exaggerating a bit, especially as she hadn't flown since first year. Maybe she got better, right? But it did seem like she had been trying. Her next suggestion made him blush. Oh. He hadn't even considered that, he had expected her not to want to be too close to him after their fight. He hesitated. "I could do that. I have time." He said awkwardly. "If you think it would help."

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily was surprised when he agreed, a light blush covering her cheeks. "Wait... really?" She asked softly. "You... don't have to..." She bit her lip, looking away and tucking her hair behind her ear. It would be... really helpful, that was true. "I... I wouldn't mind it, I just... I don't want to pester you," She glanced back up at him, unsure.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper shrugged, wondering if Lily was regretting her suggestion as she seemed to waver. "Yeah, sure. If you still want to." He said, trying his best to sound casual. He swung a leg over his broom and gestured for Lily to join him. "C'mon, we'll do a lap or two just so you get the feel for it." He said.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily hesitated a moment before moving forward, positioning herself behind him on the broom. "We can totally do this," She tried to sound reassuring, but really it just sounded small and frightened. She swallowed nervously, holding on to the back of his shirt tightly. "Okay, this will be okay," She murmured, half to herself, heart pounding in her chest.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper stayed steady on the ground as Lily got on the broom, holding it as still as he could. He waited a beat. "Don't be afraid, I'll fly slowly." He said. "You can uh, put your arms around me if that helps." He added, hoping Lily couldn't see him blush. "And I won't go until you say you're ready, okay? Just one lap around the pitch to start." He said, making it up as he went along. He had no real idea how scared Lily was, but could only take her at her word.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily blushed as Jasper said she could put her arms around him, swallowing nervously. They were really going to do this? She bit her lip, wrapping her arms around his waist at the thought of flying. This was going to be hard. She took a shaky breath, burying her head in his back. "Okay," she managed softly. "I trust you," She added, building up her courage. "Let's go."

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper waited until Lily had wrapped her arms around him. He blushed, but he could only hope she couldn't tell as she was sitting behind him. "Alright, here we go." He told her before he kicked off so she could prepare herself. He kicked off, not flying up very high and going at a slow pace. He flew a lap around the pitch, speeding up a little after a while. "You good, Lily?" He asked her, looking back.

 

[Lillian Lockwood]

Lily whimpered softly as their feet left the ground, crossing her ankles and clinging to Jasper as they flew. She buried her face in his back, stomach already twisting in knots. "I'm okay," She managed shakily. "I'm okay. It's okay," She repeated, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

 

[Jasper Night]

Jasper had no clue how much Lily was even experiencing of this, as he could feel her hiding his face against his back. But he decided not to push her. She was saying she was okay so far, which was good. "Alright, I'm going for another lap." He told her. "A little faster, okay? Still slow." He told her, not wanting to alarm her by just speeding up without warning. Though he worried the warning might alarm her more.