Deep in thought

Andromeda felt a huge sigh of relief when he said he wanted to apologize to her. Of course the more he spoke the clearer it became that he was apologizing for a totally different event. How could she accept an apology from him for the moment that brought her back from the brink, that had given her feeling in her heart again. Andy stopped, her mouth opened and closed as if completely undecisive. If she had been confused before she was even more so now. Her heart slammed hard in her chest, there was no way she was forgiving him for that. She couldn't, if she did then she would simply be denying the feelings she had for him and she couldn't do it. Maybe he made the mistake but she hadn't, maybe she was being punished for trying to shut down a heart that simply refused to stop caring. He had been confused...

Whatever the reason, Andy couldn't even look at him. Her heart thought it would break but it also wanted to prove how damned stubborn like she it was.
"I can't turn back time Bruin, I wish I could then so much more than what happened that day could be undone but ... I can't. I can't go back to how it was before. You'll just have to live with your confusion and let me live with my..." it felt as if something inside of her was snapping again. Since that day she had tried so hard, tried to be the nice sociable person that everyone wanted her to be. Tried not to show him how much she damn well cared only to have it all blow up in her face.

He wanted the entire school to know he was not a werewolf and yet here he was trying to remain friends with one. Or was this all to ease his conscience? Andy didn't understand boys, anymore than she understood her own heart. That too it would seem could deceive her. She made a show of looking at her watch once more, knowing she had to get out of there. Had to leave his presence or she would do something as stupid as tell him exactly why she couldn't go back to being simply just friends.

"I'm going to be late Bruin. I'll see you on the pitch" she had to be formal, in another two minutes she would be throwing her arms about him and kissing him. Trying to convince him he hadn't been confused but he had been, another reason for her heart to feel treacherous for wanting him. Andy walked away, trying to keep composed. She was walking away from her soul mate, she knew it and yet for her own survival she had to.
 
Bruin watched Andy closely, trying to assess her response, longing to gaze into her eyes and see if he had done the right thing, but she wouldn't even look at him. He found himself staring at her hair, the way it hung down over the beautiful features that he had come to appreciate, to dream about over the last few weeks. He wanted to reach out and gently move the hair aside so that he could see her better and to apologize again, this time for simply opening his mouth which had obviously betrayed him and hurt her yet again. Why won't you look at me??? Bruin wanted to scream at her, but couldn't as her words stopped him cold. He didn't recover until Andy disappeared from sight and even then, all he could manage was to sink down to the ground and lean against a tree.

Bruin reached into his pocket and withdrew the galleon and a loose piece of parchment that he found himself staring at more and more lately. He turned the coin over in his hand and muttered quietly to himself. "Heads, you're an idiot. Tails, well, you're still an idiot!" The coin sailed in the air and Bruin caught it and looked at the result. "What do you know? Idiot it is!" he added bitterly before tucking the galleon back in his pocket and then unfolded the paper, the results of his latest Arithmancy assignment. Bruin normally discarded or filed most of his work, but this particular one had him perplexed. How could the manipulation of a few letters, numbers and dates possibly reveal someting like this? What did it mean? Should he actually put some stock in what the results indicated?
Bruin Dumbledez
Gryffindor 7th Year

Soul Surge (Number 4)

- Once you have a goal in mind, you are persistent in its accomplishment.
- You desire respectability, solidity, love, and family pride and traditions and you loath pretension, insincerity, and deception.
- You want to be a rock of dependability and you appreciate the value of a job well done.
- You are known for your reliability and pride of workmanship.


Personality (Number 6)

- Your thoughts are often on others and their needs, especially those close to you, and this is observed through your projected personality. You are seen as one who is responsible, in service to others, and trying to establish emotional harmony. Sometimes you are seen as a fatherly or motherly type. It is observed that you are capable of deep affection and sacrifice.


Quiescent Self: (Number 6)

- Your family adores you.
- Your thoughts and pleasure are yourself as the comforter to all, and the adjuster of inequities.


Destiny (Number 1)

- Your destiny is leadership. You come to this position through your own actions. Not by aggressive or dominant behavior, but by relying on your own inner strength, self-reliance, and determination. Your originality and your initiative can put you in a place of authority or leadership during your lifetime.
- You have a healthy respect for individuality. You are innovative, and are often asked to lead, direct, and manage the affairs of people and organizations. When you have specifically defined and visualized goals, your powers of concentration and focus allow you to achieve them quickly and fully. You are happiest in the role of pioneer, explorer, creator, inventor, or leader.
- You wish to be left unhampered to carry out your own ideas.


Life's Path: (Number 3)

- You are following a path of creativity and self-expression through art, beauty, friendliness, happiness, and harmony. Your creative force helps you through the obstacles life sometimes presents for your experience.
- You are a welcome addition to most any social gathering. You are a natural host and benefit from socializing. Give of yourself, freely and joyously. You are inclined to be imaginative, inspired, and able to tap deep emotions.


Last Year's Path: (Number 6)

- This was a year of service for you, a duty year. You assumed new responsibilities. People made more demands of you and you were needed in many directions.
- Warmth and good will toward others, along with love and harmony, made everything worthwhile. Justice, fair play, and honesty were important. It was a year for unselfish service.


This Year's Path: (Number 7)

- This is your year for personal reflection and perfection, a year of introspection. You feel like analyzing everything you have been and are doing. You think about beauty, love, perfection, and what life is all about.
- You spend a good deal of time alone, getting acquainted with yourself and your new inner power. This year you gain a better understanding of your emotions and your spiritual nature. Take time out to rest, study, read, and travel, and to look at life from a different angle. Find outlets for personal creative expression.


Next Year's Path (Number 8)

- This is your year of achievement, your year to make great strides in employment, promotions, and/or the accumulation of possessions. It is your harvest time.
- Many opportunities present themselves. To gain your rewards, move forward in a businesslike manner and with sustained effort. Your state of mind, mental capacity, education, experience, and self-confidence are all part of your success.
- You feel desire to make a special effort to improve or bring to a successful conclusion some of the ideas and dreams of the past years.
- This is a year of action. Place your abilities on the market with a sense of self-confidence and authority.

Bruin read the results over again, his thoughts returning again and again to Last Year's Path and more importancly, This Year's Path. Last year had certainly been a duty year, taking on the role of Head Boy and then essentially taking on what felt like the entire student body with his Prank Play Plot. He had been pulled in many directions and had offered everything he had at every opportunity. There was justice for Kat against the Durmstrang Boys, and warmth and good will towards many others...and it had been worthwhile.

He looked once more at This Year's Path. A time for introspection; to think about beauty, love, perfection, and what life is all about; to be alone and gain a better understanding of your emotions; to look at things from different angles; and a time to rest. Bruin closed his eyes and began thinking, thinking about it all...
 

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