Closed Cross Your Thoughtless Heart

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery had been seized by the fear of losing Raawhiti forever after graduation, as he realized how much easier it woud be for him to slip away after they left the castle. So once the graduation ceremony was over, Emery had left his seat and pushed his way through the row so he could corner Raawhiti as he exited his own row of seats. "Raawhiti," he said, ignoring the dirty looks from students and guests alike as he pushed past them to get to his- his boyfriend? Was he still that? "We need to talk." He said, reaching out for his arm as if he was worried he would have to physically restrain him from running away.

 

[Raawhiti Te Rangi]

The paper clutched in Rāwhiti's hand felt like a death certificate, and he was fighting the instinct to tear it up; to drop it on the ground, trample all over it, go right back and do his school years over again. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was going to be a star player all through his time at school. He had seen it in his head a thousand times, his entire childhood. He had always known exactly who he was, who he was supposed to be. And now that person was dead, gone for good, a dream from a version of himself who no longer existed. He didn't know who he was, where he was going, how to exist in the world. And today his last safety net had disappeared.

Rāwhiti was hoping to make a quick exit; as glad as he was that his family had come, the last thing he wanted was to actually see them, to talk about the future, about what he was going to do next. He was planning to make a quick exit, but he was interrupted by another voice, one he hadn't expected to be looking for him. Though thinking about it.... of course Emery would look for him. Sh*t. He stopped abruptly, heart thudding in the pit of his stomach. "Oh." Was all he could think to say, voice rough and heavy with the tears he was probably supposed to be crying. Well, he hadn't exactly been a good boyfriend recently; another thing he was failing at. Graduation was probably a good place for Emery to make a clean break of it.

 

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery saw the fear in Raawhiti's eyes and knew exactly what he was thinking. Or at least, he could make a good guess. He probably thought Emery was going to dump him. The idiot. Emery reached for his hand and grabbed it, dragging him away from the chattering guests and graduates until they were near the edge of the wall. He let go of his hand and turned to him. "I need you to stop hiding from me." He told him, though they were probably not the most reassuring words he could've used.

 

[Raawhiti Te Rangi]

Emery's hand in his was so familiar that Rāwhiti ached with it, and he longed to just pull Emery in; to hold him close and pretend the last horrible year had never happened; pretend everything was fine just like it had been at the end of the last school year. Those budding warm feelings evaporated as quickly as they had come when Emery let go, replaced by a cold dread for what was to come. "You don't need to say it." He croaked, feeling himself tear up as the situation finally sank in, unable to hold himself together after such a long, painful day. "I get it. We can just... go our separate ways."

 

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery could have slapped Raawhiti and he nearly did, but he held back. He scowled at him instead. "You're a coward." He snapped. "I don't want to go our separate ways, no matter how much you try to avoid me. I miss you, I just want to go back to normal. If you disappear on me now after graduation, I'll never forgive you." He said angrily.