Extract Cowardice

[Eurydice Nightray]

Out of Character:

Set on Y48 Holiday Break

Eurydice had been a Nightray heir for as long as she could remember. She'd always known what it meant, and though she knew she would never be Head of the Nightray Family, never aspired to be one, as one of the heirs, it was her responsibility to make sure that whoever does end up Head deserved it. Growing up, she'd always thought it was going to be Jai-nii. And then he'd backed down. And while she had been younger when it happened just a few years ago, she had been old enough and aware enough to notice a shift. She wouldn't be able to explain what it was, just that there was something different. It wasn't just the adults, really, because even those in her generation, her cousins and her brothers, there was... there was a change. Eurydice had always known that she was never meant to be the Head, but for those who desired to be, she had a responsibility to decide and fight by any means available to her if she ever thought them unworthy to lead. And now, three semesters into her stay at Hogwarts, she didn't think she was any more fit as an heir as she was to be the Head.

It had taken only three encounters with Slytherins to make Eurydice realize that she was never going to be fit to be an heir. She cowers at the thought of snakes, could not even bear to look at one since that day Morrie set a snake on her. She flinches when someone even dares to come near. She couldn't even protect her own belongings, the gift that Tizi-nii had given her. And then the slug incident. It was shameful for the Nightrays to have an heir as weak as her. As scared as her. She'd told herself multiple times that should she be challenged, it would be her that would decide the challenges. It would be her call, and she can choose a challenge that could play to her strengths or her opponent's weaknesses. These days, she couldn't even stand a wand pointed at her. What use would she be as an heir? She'd only disappoint her parents. Embarrass them. Embarrass her siblings. And yet, she couldn't find the courage within her to even go to her mum or her dad - even when all she wanted was to be with them when she was at the Hospital Wing. She didn't want to tell Annika, scared that her sister would find her lacking. She didn't want to tell Kael-nii, scared he would be angry and disgusted with her weakness. She didn't want to tell Jai-nii either; she didn't want to bother him and Elsa and their happy family. The only one she wanted to tell Tizi-nii. He said he'd beat people up for her, be a professor for her, and up until recently, he hadn't been interested in being an heir. So... it was him that she hoped would understand. That wouldn't judge her for being the coward that she was. And so it was his bedroom that she was hesitantly knocking at now in the middle of the night.​

 

[Tiziano Edogawa]

Tizi yawned as he picked his head up from where it lay across his girlfriends shoulders and sat up as he heard the knocking on his door. He quickly checked the time and frowned when he realised it was just past midnight. Hm. Odd. The ball was at the end of the week and they’d all been arriving over the past couple of days, Tizi hadn’t seen the need to leave his room all that much since arriving, considering he had no real need to speak to anyone for the moment. There was no one to challenge him right now, since they weren’t going to do it as children, and the only people vying for Head were still school age. Except Misa, but she wasn’t about to suddenly pull her wand on him and Challenge him. Sawyer and Liam were two that he worried about a little, Sawyer more than Liam since Liam was a spoiled brat - Sawyer was more calculating, and he had his Step-Dad on his side too. Tizi didn’t trust the Hayes family almost as far as he didn’t trust his own. So he wasn’t sure who could possibly be at the door, but he pulled his wand from the side of his bed and held it in his hand.

Lille stirred beside him and he quickly put his hand on her shoulder and shushed her back to sleep. Whatever was happening outside his room was for his ears only probably. So he held his wand by his side when he answered the door, only to be surprised to spot not an older cousin, or even his mum, but little Eury instead. He tucked his wand into the side of his robe and gestured her inside. There was a spell around the door that people on the outside couldn’t hear what was happening on the inside, so whatever she had to say would stay between them. Lille too, but she knew how to turn her ears off to not hear things she shouldn’t.

“Talk.” He said, gently, because he knew she wasn’t here for a social call at midnight. He also wasn’t totally outside of believing that Mikael sent her. He didn’t think his brother would resort to dirty work like this, but it was a stressful time, they all had aces they wanted to try and play.​

 

[Eurydice Nightray]

Eurydice hadn't exactly known what time it was when she'd finally gotten the nerve to go talk to someone about her current reservations. She probably should have checked though since Tizi-nii very much looked like he'd just been woken up, which made her hesitate. The wand in her brother's hand, even though he'd tucked it out of sight, made the feeling worse. She swallowed as she skittered inside, taking most care to step far from his wand hand even as she reminded herself Tizi-nii wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Even when there was a little voice in the back of her head whispering Are you sure? She'd thought she was safe at school too, and where did that get her? Right here in her brother's room at midnight, nearly frightened just because he was holding a wand. "I..." she started, almost meekly. Maybe she should have talked to someone else instead. But who else was there to talk to? The Nightrays all knew what she was. A half-blood heir. The Edogawas would never understand. And she couldn't even begin to explain all of this to William or Nox or Mr. Dak. "I want to step down," she told her brother, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him as she said it. Her eyes were trained on his hands instead, not that she could do anything if he pulled his wand. Maybe he'd think her too weak too.​

 

[Tiziano Edogawa]

Tizi wasn't sure what to think of this, Eury wasn't stupid so she knew what it meant to be stepping down form her position as heir, but she was only twelve. He couldn't understand what could possibly be going on that she would want to step down. He frowned at her before stepping awayto drop his wand on the side tale of his bed and then turned to look at her. She seemed smaller than he was used to seeing her, her shoulders almost drooping with some kind of a burden he apparently wasn't privy to. His mind wandered briefly to Mikael, and he wondered if this was some how his brothers fault, but he really couldn't say. "Why do you want to step down?" He needed an explanation because he certainly wasn't going to figure this one out on his own and that was a problem. He couldn't really advise her, or make sense of it, if he didn't have a clue what was going on in her head and it wasn't like this was a simple and easy decision, it was almost more complicated than being in the running honestly. "Why?"​

 

[Eurydice Nightray]

It was a challenge to stop herself from fidgeting under the weight of her brother's gaze. Eurydice instead bit her lip as she anxiously waited for his reply. This conversation has never come up between them. Between her and her siblings, really. When Jai-nii had stepped down as a Nightray heir, he surrendered his ring to the Nightray Heads - their parents - and the announcement was made quickly. Eurydice hadn't known how to talk to her parents about this. Going to Tizi-nii, it was as much a plea for him to talk her out of it as it was a plea for him to help her talk to their parents about it if she were to truly step down. She didn't think she could handle being alone with their parents and their disappointment. And they were going to be disappointed in her; she just knew it.

Eurydice couldn't help but stiffen as her brother brought out his wand again, only to relax minutely when he set it down on the bedside table. Maybe she should have brought her wand, but she'd stupidly left it in her room. No. It was okay, she convinced herself. Tizi-nii may be an heir, but he was her brother. And he would never hurt her. "I... I don't... I'm not fit to be heir," she stumbled through the only explanation she could give. "I'm too weak, and I'll only embarrass the family. I can't... I can't protect myself. What kind of heir can't even put up a stupid shield?" It was most frustrating and humiliating that she could even feel the tears building. She'd been attacked and humiliated enough at school, and that was by a girl only two years her senior. Eury hated to admit it, but the spells... they were harmless compared to what could happen in a challenge.​

 

[Tiziano Edogawa]

Too weak to be heir, he’d heard that before, but he never thought he’d hear it from his little sister. She might not be the baby of the family, but she was without a doubt Tizi’s favourite among all his siblings, and he probably had a lot, what did he know? Especially considering for a long time he’d thought Jeremiah’s children were his siblings until he’d realised the truth for himself - but now since he’d considered them siblings for so long, that was what they were, even if not by blood. He shook his head at her, if she felt this way, he was going to fix it, even if he had to go to the school and deal with it himself. “Well first of all you’re going to tell me why a twelve year old needs to know how to use a shield charm,” he said, frowning. It was useful to know, sure, but why was she in a situation where she knew she couldn’t? It clearly wasn’t a classroom issue, or she would have just said she was having trouble getting it. This was more serious than that, he knew it.​

 

[Eurydice Nightray]

Eurydice knew she had said something wrong when Tizi-nii just stood there watching her. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him, utterly ashamed at admitting just how weak and incapable she'd been. She thought she'd been doing good in school and in her spellwork with all the practice she's been doing, but she couldn't put up a single shield against Morrie when it counted. She was going to embarrass herself and her siblings on the off-chance she ever got into a duel. And then Tizi-nii spoke and Eury swallowed. He'd caught her in something. Knew that something was off - not that this conversation wasn't. "I... Duels. There's duels at the school. And classes... t-they have us casting jinxes at each other in class," she said. It wasn't technically a lie, although she had refused to practice those spells on her cousins and instead resorted to practicing with a dummy, or if she could, with Hina-nee.​

 

[Tiziano Edogawa]

Tizi felt his jaw clench as he watched his sister struggle with whatever was going on in her head, and frankly he’d had enough to be honest. His usual sternness crept back into his voice quickly. “You know,” his tone was sharp, “this whole thing isn’t just about your duelling skills, is it? It’s more than that. You’re hiding something, and I don’t like that. You’re better than this, Eury. Better than running away from what’s expected of you just because you’re struggling with a few spells.” She wasn’t a coward, at least he didn’t believe that of her. If she was, then she really shouldn’t be getting involved, but he didn’t believe that. There wasn’t a single beat of his heart that believed for a second that his sister wanted to step down because she was scared. “What’s happening? Why the sudden decision to step down as heir? You think just because you can’t defend yourself in a duel that you’re not good enough for this family? That’s not how it works. We don’t just give up when things get tough.” He was frustrated more than anything else, but he was concerned too, it was clear, buried beneath the irritation. And she wasn’t talking to him, not properly. “You can’t do this alone. I’m here, d@mn it. But you’ve got to tell me what’s really going on before you make any stupid decisions. What happened to the girl I know, the one who fought for what she wanted? The one who didn’t just let things fall apart because it got hard?” She was so determined when she was dancing, this wasn’t like her and he wouldn’t allow it. “Don’t tell me you’ve let that school turn you into a coward. Hufflepuffs can’t be cowards Eury.”​

 

[Eurydice Nightray]

Eurydice tensed as her brother's tone hardened, and she took just a tiny step back. No, it wasn't about her duelling skills. It was about her. She bit her lip as her brother told her that she was better than this but what did he know? He wasn't there when she'd failed to fight back. Wasn't there when she tried to retreat. And wasn't there when she'd tried to defend herself. She'd been by herself all three times just like how she would be alone when the inevitable challenges start. She was expected to be an heir, someone who stood above Nightrays and would help determine who would stand above all other Nightrays. A potential leader of the family. No, she was already at the forefront of this family, just like how all her siblings and all the other heirs were. She was an heir. The firstborn daughter of the current Heads of the Nightray Family. And yet she couldn't even defend herself against someone outside of it.

Eurydice felt like she was an embarrassment. No. She knew she was. She jumped at the smallest sound sometimes. And when any sound was even close to sounding like hissing, she would freeze. She couldn't stand the sight of a snake now on most days, needing to be as far away from any of them as possible. Even the snake fangs from Potions made her break into cold sweat and she absolutely refused to touch them. And it was silly. So silly to develop a fear of snakes. Half her family was in Slytherin. And guess what their animal emblem was? Yup. It was... it was so stupid and all anyone would have to do was to show her a damn snake and she was gone. And now Tizi-nii was mad at her because she wanted to step down but he didn't understand just how scared she was about nothing and everything. "Well it got too hard!" she couldn't help but yell, tears dropping. "I tried d@mn it! I tried to fight her and it didn't work and if I can't win against her then how could I even," she couldn't even articulate just how helpless she felt as she angrily wiped the tears away. "Maybe they did. And you say Hufflepuffs can't be cowards but you're not the one checking every corridor in that school for a..." she cut herself off. "Yeah I'm a coward but at least none of the other heirs get the satisfaction of showing everyone that in a challenge." Her newfound fear of snakes was going to get out one way or the other. All of them were going to capitalize on it. She refused to humiliate her family by losing a challenge because of a stupid fear given to her by another student.​

 

[Tiziano Edogawa]

Tizi could feel his hands ball into fists as he all but watched his sister crumble in front of him. His jaw clenched, and his annoyance seemed to war with something deeper, a little harder to explain. He hated this. He hated not knowing what was going on. He hated not udnerstand why she was like this and he hated that she had refused to tell him sooner. That she clearly hadn’t trusted him, or didn’t want to trust him, or couldn’t trust him. Or maybe she felt about him how his whole family felt about him, that he was the crazy one, who didn’t really deserve half of the priviledges he’d been afforded. Probably true, in fairness, but it stung to know she clearly felt that way too.

He didn’t flinch as she yelled at him, it was an emotion he was accustomed to. Yelling. Some people equated it with anger, and often it was anger, sometimes it was sadness, and other times it was pain. He’d come to consider yelling an emotion of it’s own. He just let her get her words out, say whatever she needed to. When she finally cut herself off, and when she started to wipe away the evidence of her feelings, he snapped. “Are you f*cking kidding me Eurydice?” his voice almost broke slightly, and he lowered the tone. It was sharper though, cutting, even if there was no hatred or anger there. “You think stepping down makes you less of a coward? You think running before anyone even lays a challenge makes you stronger?” his scowl deepend, but he wasn’t angry, he was frustrated. “Damn it, Eury, do you hear yourself? You’re so scared of what might happen that you’re already throwing in the towel. You want to talk about humiliation? You think losing a challenge is worse than letting them see you back down without even trying?”

He let out a breath, his breathing rougher in his anger than he intended. He scrubbed his hand down his face, trying to calm the fire within at her statements. “You’re scared. Fine. I get it. I don’t—” He stopped himself, correcting, “I didn’t get it, because you didn’t f***ing tell me.” his voice dropped again, lower, steadier. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to be alone in a fight? To be up against something that makes you freeze? But I didn’t let it break me, and I sure as hell won’t let it break you either.” He stepped froward then, his presence, he hoped, grounding. “I don’t care if it’s some girl, or a damn snake, or whatever else is making you feel like this. I care that you’re letting it win. And I care that you didn’t tell me sooner.” His jaw worked for a second, frustration still evident, but his tone softened just enough. “You’re my sister. You don’t get to be alone in this, got it?”​