Closed Boggart Betrayal

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan was still trying to calm herself down as she tossed back whatever the nurse had handed her to calm down. She had no does what it was, but she was still shaking and the nurse had left her on the bed to see to another patient. Rowan face was blotchy and red from the crying and he wand was clutched desperately in her hand. She should have used it to stop the stupid boggart, but that’s not what had happened and she pulled her legs up to her chest to push her face against her knees. She cousins believe she’d let the Boggart get the best of her life that. Or that she’d been further humiliated by Professor Styx having to come to her rescue of sorts. She didn’t think she’d be able to look the man in the eye again, well, she never did that anyway, but what was the point of even going back to his class. He’d probably just think she was the worlds worst witch. She knew she was better than that, and yet she’d just allowed the Boggart to get the best of her. Walking past all her classmates crying hadn’t been fun, she’d purposely not looked at Elio because she didn’t want to put him off and after her ordeal she didn’t particularly want to be looking at him, which obviously wasn’t fair but she had to calm herself down before she could process anything rationally right now. She tried to take deep breaths with her face presses against her knees, which was a mission but she needed somewhere to rest her head. She had the worst headache and everything hurt from the crouched positions she’d sat in for who knew how long before Styx had taken pity. Really she needed to sleep and never speak of it ever again.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio hadn't really known what to expect as he waited with his classmates to enter the DADA exam, although seeing them come out at the end of it, it was clear that whatever was lying in wait for them wouldn't be pleasant. Elio was the last person to enter, given the alphabet, which was made more difficult still when he spotted Rowan crying on the way out of her exam. She'd moved away pretty quickly, and Elio was torn between going after her and going in face to whatever it was that had made her so upset. Eventually it was his turn, and connecting the dots it wasn't hard to see why so many people had struggled with it. Exiting the classroom he had to shake his own fears off, trying not to pay too much attention to them, and headed the way Rowan had left. He had to ask a few students to figure out where she'd gone, but eventually the Gryffindor made it to the hospital wing, where his eyes landed on her curled up body on one of the beds. Elio and Rowan still weren't really talking to one another as much as they used to, but that was because of their own agreements rather than because they'd argued or something, and so it was unwritten rule that there were occasions where best friends were going to be needed, regardless of whether or not they were trying to develop themselves away from one another. Elio didn't wait for her to spot him, nor did he ask what exactly she'd seen in there, instead he quietly moved to her side and wrapped his arms around her the best he could, wondering if she was hurt too if she was in the wing. Elio whispered a hey but otherwise he just held onto her, letting her know he was there.​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan didn’t have to look to know who’d joined her. She’d know the feel of Elio anywhere and she moved slightly to let him wrap his arms more comfortably around her as she tried to fix her brain. She couldn’t look at Elio right now, not right at the minute, but she knew she’d get over it soon enough, she just needed to right herself first. It was all still fresh in her mind, the words, the flashback of memory from last year. It was so stupid and she felt like an idiot, but that didn’t make anything any easier. When she felt like she’d calmed down a bit more, Rowan sighed and lifted her head away from her knees looking quickly over at Elio before shaking her head and burying herself back into her knees again. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed a Boggart to get to her. She knew it wasn’t real, she knew he’d never say or do those things in that way, but the fact of the matter was, the essence of the situation had been real, she’d lived through that humiliating experience only a year ago and apparently she was still dealing with it. “Sorry,” she whispered softly, her shaky breath coming out through the small air pocket she’d allowed herself to breath through her a tiny gap between her legs. “I just need a minute,” she told him, staring at the patterning one the floor beneath her.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio wasn't too surprised when Rowan didn't react immediately to his touch, and although a small part of him wondered if he should even be there at all, a bigger part of him was saying that there was no way he wasn't going to be. Rowan clearly had seen something that upset her on a deeper level and while he trusted that she would tell him if she wanted to, he wasn't going to push her too directly. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear as she told him she needed a minute, and Elio took a step back to give her some space. He turned to take a seat in the chair beside her, lifting his legs up and draping them over one of the arms of the chair, trying not to put any pressure on her. He didn't want Rowan to think he was just waiting for her to talk to him, but he wasn't going anywhere. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked after a moment, resting his head in his own arm, "I know I'm not going to forget mine in a hurry," he gave her half a smile, wondering if she would even want to know what his fear was. Most probably would have thought it was related to heights, which was certainly something that effected him day to day, but there was another fear that Elio had deep down, and one that was probably bound to why he loved having people around him. ​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan was grateful that Elio wasn’t pushing her though she did know he wasn’t really the type to do that. She let herself just get everything together as he moved away and she heard the movements of a chair. Am she was glad he wasn’t leaving. He asked her if she wanted to talk about it and yeah, she did, but, she needed to figure out what it all meant deep down because she knew the physical manifestation of the fear hadn’t been the true purpose of it, though she had some idea. She wanted to know a bit more about Elio’s fear, but he’d asked her first, was it fair to ask to hear his? “Could... could you tell me yours first?” She asked, looking up at him with pleasing eyes. She wasn’t comparing so much as needing something to get her mind off of her own. It was Different for her a little, hers was sitting right in front of her.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio had been preparing for Rowan to ask him what his was, even if it was just to have something else to hear that meant she didn't have to focus on her own, and while he wouldn't have brought it up if he hadn't wanted to tell her, it would still be the first time he'd ever told anyone. He nodded, head still resting in his arms and watching her as he thought about where to begin. He'd not really realised it was one of his fears until last year, but he didn't plan to specifically mention that bit, "Mines probably pretty.. typical. I guess." he was sure that he wasn't the only person out there who had the same thing, "I didn't really know how the Boggart was going to show it though, and to see it was a different story." he began, thinking back to his experience a moment ago. "I saw myself come out of that cupboard, except, something else came out with me. It was like this creature, it walked so close behind me, towering even taller than than the wardrobe. Tall and long and dark, the only thing that had any light was the reflection in his eyes. It was acting like this, wall, between me and everyone else. I couldn't really hear what anyone was saying, it was all a blur as though I was stuck in my own little bubble." he paused, looking back to Rowan and wondering whether it would make any sense, "My biggest fear is being alone, or so isolated and forgotten that it makes everything I've ever done irrelevant. That one day I'll just, fade out into the darkness. I don't mean I want everyone to know who I am at all, I don't really like being the centre of attention," he went on to say. Elio much preferred to work in the background of a project, and it was why he liked to be on the end of the camera that was pointing at other people, "But the idea that one day the world will just carry on without me and I'll just be.. gone." he shrugged, "It's inevitable." ​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan frowned as she listened to Elio tell her about his fear. It was strange to hear and knowing that he’d gone through an ordeal similar to what she had was a little bit of a comfort, though there was nothing really comforting about any of it. “Oh,” she said quietly, wondering when he’d figured that out. It was a lot to take in, and she found herself wondering if he’d handled his as badly as she did, though from the sounds of it, he probably had handled his a lot better than she had handled hers, which really only made her feel so much worse about it all. “Okay,” she’d always known that Elio was much stronger than she was, so this probably wasn’t as much of a shock to her as it could’ve been though feeling weak was never fun. She hadn’t even been able to win a duel, it was pathetic. “I understand, thank you.” Processing his fear was helping her a little bit with her own as it meant she had something to think about other than the humiliation of the rejection she’d suffered by Elio’s hand. Well, his boggart anyway. She didn’t like to think too much about the night in question, although now it had brought up some feelings she had been trying to ignore for some time. She hadn’t really realised how much it still affected her until right now though, which was fun for no one. “Mine was...” damn this was hard to say. “You... in essence.” She told him looking up at him a little before looking down again. “Not you, you, but the physical manifestation of you...” she wanted to clarify, because she certainly wasn’t scared of Elio. “I think it used you because of what happened last year at the dance... because it used those memories to hurt me.” Talking about it brought the flashes of conversation back through her mind and she shook her head to ignore it. “It overexaggerated a lot of it I assume, because... because I don’t believe the stuff it said was what you said, but I think the worst part was that... at the time I would have believed it of you.” The fact that for a moment she’d thought so badly of Elio was a painful reminder of how she’d been feeling at the time and that the Boggart has latched onto that annoyed her. “It cornered me... I couldn’t escape. I don’t know how long I was in there before Professor Styx ended the exam.” She said glancing up at Elio again. “I’m sorry.”​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio knew a lot of his own fears was why he worked so closely with photos, even though it wasn't something he was consciously doing until recently. Falling into nothingness though terrified the life out of the prefect who was shifting a little in his seat, trying to close off the part of his mind that tried to slide down a road of his existence, looking back to Rowan as she processing what he'd said. Elio's stomach jolted and his face flushed when Rowan told him to begin with that her Boggart was him. He was grateful she followed up quickly with an explanation because in those few seconds he was feeling suddenly sick to his stomach, fully aware of his own presence and it was as though his own fears were about to make a realistic come back. He listened as Rowan told him it used the memories of the night at the dance against her. Really, Elio hadn't had much of a chance to say anything that night than a few words, so he could believe that the Boggart over exaggerated what he could have said. Elio frowned hearing that she would have believed it if he had said things to her, not that he knew what specifically she'd heard "him" say, and while he knew they'd come so far since then, it was still heartbreaking to hear that Rowan would have believed it. "Ro.." Elio wasn't sure what to say. On the one hand he knew that she surely didn't think that of him anymore, but even knowing that she may have and it was using that to get to her was like a punch in the gut. "I never looked at you as anything but extraordinary," he said, thinking back to when they first met and how even then he'd been taken with her in ways he'd later come to understand were similar to being swept off his feet. It had taken him time to realise that it was the case, and in those first few months they'd grown quickly as good friends but he'd never put two and two together. Elio felt terrible, that it was because of him really that Rowan had come out of her exam in this way. Taking a seat away from Rowan was no doubt the best option right now given she'd just be cornered by a version of him that had hurt her. "You know, sometimes I wonder whether I should I have followed you after you left the dance," Elio thought aloud. How different would things have turned out if they hadn't then spent the next nine months not talking to one another?​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan kept her head down, still finding it hard to look up at Elio. She didn't mean to let the ordeal of earlier get the best of her, but every time she closed her eyes all she could see was the boggart version of Elio saying all those horrible things and laughing at her. The jeers and taunts of the crowd had been horrible and she certainly hadn't enjoyed it. Honestly, she felt so stupid knowing she was probably the only one who hadn't managed to finish the exam. She was annoyed at herself and hated the fact that she was probably upsetting Elio with this as well. After all, she wasn't sure she'd have been happy to hear that she was Elio's boggart, she'd have been very upset in fact. She looked up at him when he said her name, because only he could make her feel things by speaking her name in that way and she immediately felt a wrench in her gut that she'd upset him. She smiled lightly, though he wouldn't have seen it since she had her head on her knees again. She looked up again as he spoke and she tilted her head slightly. "I dont blame you for not... I wasn't right in the head... I might have said something worse to you or something and... well it was a shock for you of course. I was terrible to you and I never should have said those things. I know I've apologised to you before, but it's not enough... it was never your fault and I made it like it was," even now, she felt guilty about all of it. She didn't think she would ever not.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Rowan couldn’t even look at him at this moment although he put that down to her boggart. If he’d just gone through something similar he was sure he’d be in the same position too. Elio shrugged at her explanation. “I don’t know, I never saw it that way,” he realised that they’d never had talked about what they’d been thinking that evening, so all this would be have new for him to actually say out loud. “Those things you said didn’t really hurt. It hurt that you ran away from me, but the way you reacted to finding out wasn’t something I put on you. Looking back it wasn’t like I’d really done a whole lot to tell you otherwise, and I yeah, I was shocked when you kissed me, but I blamed myself for you leaving.” It was why it had been such a hard summer for him, and how no matter what Rowan was telling him, in Elio’s perspective, he’d been the one at fault. “Every time I saw you I was just reminded that I’d managed to over look something important, although, maybe there was a reason for that,” Elio gave her half a smile. Perhaps the reason that telling her he was attracted to guys just hadn’t really registered in his mind, was because it hadn’t been that simple. “I think you did, and still do, take too much responsibility for that night,” he said honestly, still just looking up towards her, finding more comfort than he realised in just being able to speak his mind.​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan had to admit that she was a little surprised that Elio was trying to take more of the blame for last year. Honestly she’d been blaming herself for the events that had broken them up for so long she’d never really thought about it and having him trying to convince her made no sense. How could it have been his fault at all? He’d just been going about his business and doing things he normally did and it was honestly her fault she’d never picked up on it. It wasn’t like he’d specificity not told her and anyway, she’d realised now that it was hardly a requirement that she be told. She didn’t own his life. “Elio it’s not your fault.” She said, looking up at him this time, though it was hard and her brain didn’t currently want to focus on him, but she ignored it in favour of seeing his face, the way he was sitting away from her to give her space from her ordeal. “You owe me nothing, especially then,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s not like it was a requirement for you to tell me then, still not really though we’ve moved past that,” bringing it up now seemed a bit moot since things had evolved past that by how, but still. “You told me how it was, I took the rejection incredibly badly and I made it more about me.” She appreciated he was trying to down play it, but this was something she’d been sitting on for nearly a year, talking about it now felt... freeing. “I should have been more open with you, I shouldn’t have just assumed. I got... caught up in everything. I still do, it’s my biggest flaw, along with most of the rest of my personality.” She’d meant it more as a self deprecating joke, though her tone might’ve suggested otherwise.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

One of Rowans flaws wasn’t any of the things she claimed, not really. It was that she wouldn’t believe that her strengths far outweighed any negatives which were few and far between, and really when they’d both separated it was hard not to focus on themselves. “That’s probably easily done when you only have one side of the story,” he smiled. “I know it wasn’t my fault, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t because of me that it happened. Reaction or not,” he shrugged. She had a point though in that it was all behind them, although not completely if Rowan still feared a variation of that night that played on their interaction. “And..you shouldn’t have to assume you need to ask everyone you meet,” he stuck his tongue out at her, heck he still didn’t understand himself. If anyone asked him right now which way he swayed he knew it varied from person to person. The Gryffindor slipped back out of the chair, standing in front of Rowan and sweeping some hair behind her ear. There was a small smile still on his face as she spoke, they’d both come along way since then, and he knew that Rowan felt like more often that not she had to be in control of a situation, so maybe it was another one of those things that because it wasn’t the way she’d planned for it in her head, it was disconcerting. “Babe, being caught up in things is the best way to be,” Elio honestly believed that too. There were too many variables to have plans that were set in stone, and while he understood that was what was comfortable, maybe he could push those boundaries, sweep her off her feet towards an adventure with no destination, instead just seeing where it took them. In one hand he took hers, intertwining their fingers as his other moved slowly to cupped the back of her neck. If the last few weeks..or years really.. had shown him anything it was that he was looking at everything he’d ever needed. Right here. Confusions and misunderstandings, they got through that stuff. Elio wasn’t Elio when there was no Rowan, and even now as they spent most of their days apart he was always waiting until the next Friday when they could just be themselves again. Elio had never been the one to kiss Rowan before now, but it felt right and he knew what he wanted. He wanted Ro, and he wanted her to be the confident, strong, witty version of herself he knew she could be. El tilted his head closer towards hers, pressing his lips against Rowans softly to begin with, almost nervous that she was about to push him away. With his eyes closed he kissed her a little harder, squeezing her hand as a small frown appeared on his face momentarily. He loved Rowan more than anything, always had, always would. Elio paused for a moment, his forehead leaning lightly against hers. “Get caught up with me, and I promise we won’t get lost.” ​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan shook her head a little, with a shrug. Elio always seemed so insistent on making sure she wasn't putting herself down even when she was completely at fault, she supposed it made sense since she would probably do the same for him if the situation were ever reversed, but he was so much stronger than her, and way more confident. It wasn't likely ever to be much of an issue for him. Hearing about his boggart had put a little of that into perspective for her, so she was a bit more understanding of his thoughts in regard to needing his friends around him. She was opposite and wanted to limit her interactions so she could limit her exposure to the public and the humiliation that could come from it if she got herself into trouble. She didn't want him blaming himself and she was about to tell him that when Elio got out of his seat and walked over to her, sweeping some hair behind her ear. She blushed then, as she always did whenever Elio got a bit too close. They were both used to it now, or, she should have been, but it didn't stop the nerves she felt whenever he was affectionate with her when she wasn't specifically expecting it. She wasn't all that surprised that he was trying to convince her to live in the moment, but the only other times she'd done that, she'd kissed Elio both times and honestly, she was hesitant to know what living in the moment actually meant for her seeing as she had basically no control over herself around Elio. "But last time-" She didn't get a chance to say what she was going to say though, because she suddenly realised Elio was closer than before and she sat rigid as he suddenly pressed his lips to her. She hadn't expected it, because this was usually her move when she was emotional. She wasn't emotional enough to kiss him this time so she certainly hadn't been expecting it. It was true, at the lake he'd kissed her back so, this almost seemed like a strange balance. Three kisses. The first was her, and he'd not reciprocated. The second was her, and he had. This was him, and Rowan leaned into it, closing her eyes so it wasn't weird. Rowan could feel him squeezing her hand and then suddenly the kiss was over as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Silly boy," she replied, rubbing some of the tears away. "We got lost a long time ago." And it was true, they got lost in each other, but maybe they could help each other find their way back to the path they were supposed to be on? "You stole my move..." What in the world did any of this even mean?​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

On the one hand Elio knew that given experience, it was incredibly likely that this would complicate matters between them even more, but then he had also told Rowan months ago that he wanted to be everything to her, he was done holding back. It had been the first time he’d kissed her properly, and a smile appeared on his face when she called him silly. It wasn’t exactly what he’d meant, and Rowan was right in that they had gotten lost many many times, to the point where he doubted it they were even on a path anymore, but instead of focusing on that, Elio just reiterated it instead, “Thing is, we could be anywhere. We could go anywhere and do anything, and it wouldn’t matter because..” Elio was kissing her damp cheeks although she could probably tell he still had a smile on his lips, “you’re my home. And how can I be lost at home?” he blamed Chrys for his cheesy lines although he didn’t really care. The Hufflepuff had managed to show him to just go for what he wanted, and besides Rowan was the only who was going to have to witness his tragic lines. Rowan was at the centre of it all, and she wasn’t budging which meant everything he did resolved around her whether or not he tried to fight it. Elio chuckled at her words, “Yeah well, you started it,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows for a moment, “you stole my heart.” Elio grinned, pulling her into another hug and kissing the top of her head.​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan was so surprised when Elio kept talking, kissing her cheeks and she turned her head away. "Oh my god," what was with this sudden display? She couldn't help but think that some of it had to do with what she'd said about him appearing as her boggart, though it wasn't him so much as memories she never would be rid of. She didn't mean that to say that they would always haunt her, but rather she hoped that soon they would become more something she could learn from. She took a moment to look around, to see if anyone was watching them, but, there didn't seem to be much attention on them and the nurse had left her a bit ago. "I get lost at home all the time," she joked, to try and lighten the mood, though it seemed Elio was refusing to let her brush it all off. She shook her head at him as he pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head. "I'm not giving it back either," she said, grinning at him. "I am sorry, for everything, you know that, right?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his waist. She didn't know really what was happening in their future or what she really wanted, but, she knew that she did want Elio with her through all of that, even if he had helped her discover her boggart so at least that hadn't been such a surprise to her, as much as the memory of seeing him hurt, it wasn't the kind of hurt that she experienced when things with Elio were bad, but an old pain that would smooth over. Especially if Elio kept being this cheesy. "Are you enjoying all your cheese?"​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio hadn't really been thinking about who was watching them, he didn't care. He was trying not to laugh when Rowan was looking around the room to see if anyone was spectating them although his eyes just stayed on her. "Girl.. then you need a map, jesus." Elio chuckled, knowing it was really just a joke instead of her trying to play off what he'd just said. At least, he was pretty sure. The Gryffindor let out a satisfied sigh when he hugged him back, making the most of it. He missed this, having her around and just being able to hold her. Elio had told Rowan time and time again that she had nothing to be sorry for, and he believed that but perhaps she didn't. He pulled back a little so that he could look down into her face, "I know," clearly she still had sprinkles of guilt left around if she still felt the need to apologise, "and I am too, but all that stuff is in the past, it doesn't matter now. We got here." When they'd met in Astronomy a couple of years ago, he would never had expected this outcome from offering a girl a blanket, but there we go. Elio raised his eyebrows, smirk on his face, "Of course I am. Are you not?" ​

 

[Rowan Baros]

"Hey," Rowan said, pointing a finger at Elio, "if I had a map and knew my way around, I wouldn't get lost in your eyes so much and then where would we be?" She said, trying desperately to keep a straight face but failing miserably at how dumb she sounded. "Oh Merlin," she said leaning forward to cover her face with her hands. "Can we please pretend you went momentarily deaf and didn't just hear that?" She asked, face going red. What in the world had possessed her to say something so dumb? No, no it was not what she was going to be forever known for. "Might as well just kill me now." She said looking up to the roof to plead with whichever deity muggle or magical might be looking down on her right now, although she didn't seem to have a lot of luck with that. "Bloody hell, this is your fault. You've turned me to mush, I'm not this person, look what you've done." She shook her head at him, amused and annoyed, but only slightly at the fact that not five minutes after walking in here, Elio had somehow managed to turn her horrible day into a really good one. "Of course not," she said, looking at him scandalised when he asked her if she was enjoying the cheese. "I'm a vegan, I don't eat cheese." Although given what she'd said only seconds ago, clearly, the jury was still out on that.​

 

[Elio Zephyr]

Elio was trying to hold back his laugh when Rowan said she'd not get lost in his eyes. It was both adorable and clear that his effect was rubbing off on her, and he waited until she told him to pretend he was deaf before laughing, although it was only because she made him feel less alone in the dairy aisle. "You say that like it's a bad thing and besides, what are you talking about! Look what you've done," Elio grinned, wondering how he'd even ended up here in the first place although he wouldn't have traded anything he'd gone through for the world. "No, that's true, I'm so sorry, I'll have to find something more up your street," he joked, not that he believed her of course given how red she'd just turned at his words. "Are you okay?" Elio asked after a moment, hoping that she was feeling a little better after her exam, although what he'd said wasn't just to make her feel better. It meant it all and really he wasn't sure whether she really realised how much she meant to him. Elio wanted to ask her something but the hospital wing, if he were honest, wasn't exactly the ideal location. "How long do you have to stay here?" he asked, playing with the lengths of her hair.​

 

[Rowan Baros]

Rowan shook her head. They were both idiots for each other, and she wouldn't have it any other way. "I know, I'm sorry," she said, laughing. It was crazy that they were here like this. Honestly, with everything she'd gone through today, she didn't really expect to feel better so quickly. After all, she'd just had a harrowing experience with her boggart and she definitely wasn't sure how she would handle it if she came across a boggart again later in her life. She hoped it would be a lot better and maybe she would have something funny to change him into... like a sombrero with a duck on it... hey, maybe she could marshal up Matilda next time. That would be hilarious. "I've been better. Not as bad now as I could have been," she said, smiling lightly at him. She was so glad he'd been here because she didn't know what she would have done without him really. Elio was everything to her, and she knew that would never change. "Not long, she said I could leave when I was feeling better and I'm already feeling better so," she shrugged, dropping her legs from the bed and kicking her legs out in front of her since she was too short to reach the floor from the bed. "Shouldn't be too long now... probably even now."​