better than ice cream

[Izaak Finch]

A sickening emptiness stirred agonizingly in the pit of Izaak’s stomach as he lay there in the darkness with his long, lean limbs sprawled awkwardly over the arms, the cushions and the back of the battered couch. It was not the kind of emptiness that had domineered him for the past month but a more obvious kind, the kind you’d expect from such a young, energetic male like himself. He was hungry, so hungry in fact that he felt as if he could eat every dish available in Bondi Junction and still come back for seconds. Unable to fall back to sleep with his stomach so forcefully demanding to be filled, Izaak grunted quietly in discomfort and tumbled lazily from the sunken embrace of the lounge in his navy blue trackpants. His long toes curled hesitantly into the carpet as he stood, directly facing the open door to his bedroom, the one he had given up for Isabella and a new urge quickly flitted through his mind. Perhaps new wasn’t exactly the right word, all too often he seemed to be thwarted with urges that made him want to just curl his arms around her waist and fall asleep embracing her and many a time they had been satisfied. But not tonight, he couldn’t. His own bed in his own room was just a little different from a bed in an open ward and was a little too intimate for Izaak’s liking. It had been one whole month since he and Alexis had come to an end and his broken heart was still on the mend, still bruising with every thought of her, every memory and every happiness that had shared. Though slowly but surely, piece by tiny piece it was coming back together again.

Once again Izaak’s hunger tore sharply through his stomach and he was jolted from the less demanding of the two urges. Reaching back to scratch the bare skin on his shoulder blade, the nineteen year old treaded his feet as carefully as possible through the home that he and his sister now shared again. The kitchen couldn’t come soon enough for Izaak, even though it was a mere ten yards from the back of the couch and once he was in it, he dove straight for the freezer. Izaak knew exactly what he wanted and because it seemed to be a favourite amongst the Finch’s it wasn’t so hard to find. Mint choc-chip ice cream. He snatched it from the ice cold temperature the freezer housed, took it over to the breakfast and reached up to flick on the stove light on. Digging into a draw a his hips, Izaak’s hand surfaced triumphantly with a dessert spoon clutched within it. But the very tip of the handle caught on the ledge of the counter and it was wrenched from Izaak’s grasp, tumbling to an extremely noisy and seemingly endless clutter against the tiles. A sharp curse shot from his lips as he bent down to retrieve it, feeling hot with guilt because the noise was enough to wake everyone in the house. Leah would get over it, Jay would sleep through it but surely it would wake Isabella and the last thing he wanted to do was disturb her sleep.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

The time between waking and sleeping was finally growing. There had been weeks where she had not slept at all, until finally it took hold of her like an old friend begging her to rest. She had needed it badly. Sakura had taken her back home to England for a fortnight and it had been nice but not relaxing enough at all. It was only now since she had come to stay at Izaak's that sleep seemed determined to lull her into its false sense of security. There she could dream about anything and though the dreams of her little girl were now mere hazes of longing, the dreams tied to Izaak were more real and substantial. She had thought any feelings where he was concerned were easily pushed aside since the heartbreak of their loss. Had she not been so determined at one point to get himself and Alexis together again? She had been in earnest too until Sakura had told her that perhaps fate had finally stepped in and broken what was not meant to be. Those few words had given her more hope than she had dared allow herself in the longest time and seeing him day in and day out now cemented everything she had ever felt for him.

For some reason sleep would not come to her tonight, her body felt restless as if pining for the embrace of the one whose bed she lay on. Embracing her pillow she grabbed it and placed it over her head wishing she could not smell him in every inch of space that surrounded her. A noise disturbed her and yanking the pillow away from her face she sat bolt upright. On bare feet and wearing only a white sleeveless, knee length cotton nightdress she padded out to where she had thought it had come from. Her hair was cut a little shorter now, her skin glowing from the time spent in the sun the last few days. She was breathtaking as she walked with arms wrapped about her into the kitchen.

"Izaak?" she smiled when she saw him looking at the ice cream and remembering instantly the first time they had met. Her silver grey eyes met his wondering if he remembered that too, an innocent time the day she knew without a doubt that she believed in love at first sight, or close enough to it.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak knew he should have expected someone to be so disturbed by his clattering fumble that they would get up just to see what all the racket was about but his initial freeze of fear had passed and now all he could think about was tearing open the lid that hid his sought after prize away and scoffing half of the tub down in one spoonful. Though even the smile in the voice that spoke his name could not take the edge off of the startle it gave him. Acting on instinct, he tore around with the dessert spoon brandished between his nimble fingers and his heart working on overdrive from the jolt of shock. His azure eyes were met with a most pleasing sight of his friend, happier than he had seen her in a very long time dressed in such a shade of white that seemed insistent on accentuating the flawless tone of her skin. For a moment Izaak fumbled, this time with his sense as he zoned out for a few seconds. “God, Is.” His exasperated tone implied his relief from the shock but Izaak was breathless in more ways than one.

Izaak was soon to catch himself as he was pummelled with the memory of the last young woman who had snatched his breath away. It had reached the stage where he was trying his hardest not to think about Alexis and what could have been but he was only human. And then suddenly, after gazing at her in that complimenting dress, Izaak became sharply aware of his own attire or lack thereof. Trackpants, and nothing more. He scratched his upper arm sheepishly but grinned over at his Isabella. “Sorry, I woke you, didn’t I?” He reached behind him into the cutlery draw, pulled out a spoon identical to his and handed it to her. Whilst he was busy prying open the lid a memory suddenly played through his mind and Izaak literally laughed out loud. “Do you remember when you soaked me in this stuff?” He asked between chuckles as he clearly recalled the day the two of them had met. Then, in a gesture so gracious considering he was absolutely starving, Izaak offered the tub to her first, his azure eyes glinted with mirth as they fixed on the silvered grey of hers.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

Her gentle laughter rang out about the silent room, she cupped her hand over her mouth instantly not wanting to wake any one else. Her beautiful grey eyes continued to sparkle in the dimly lit room as she slowly lowered her hand.
"Sorry Izaak, I don't usually scare anyone" she raised her hands from her side, "I'm not exactly the scary type".
Walking around to where he stood she watched as he removed another spoon and handed it to her. It was only when her fingers reached for the spoon that she made the shocking discovery of what he was wearing or not wearing. How she had not noticed before was beyond her but now her eyes seemed riveted to his lean sculpted torso, thankfully his fingers brushed against hers as she took the spoon and she all but jumped out of her skin. Returning to reality and needing a cold splash of water into the bargain. Grasping the spoon as if it were a life line she smiled back at him recalling the day with perfect clarity. Her spoon dipped into the tub and Bella moved forward in order to eat the ice cream, not wanting to drop any of it.

"I was trying to shoo a bee away, I didn't mean to get you with it" what fateful day that had been, she had tried many times to imagine what would have happened if she had simply wandered off without buying any, would fate have thrown them together again? The ice cream was delicious and she found her spoon dipping in once more as the fingers of her other hand pushed her hair behind her ear only to remember it was almost too short to do that anymore. She shrugged.
"I keep forgetting its not long anymore" it was the only thing she allowed herself to forget, there was just way too many things floating around in her mind and heart to allow something as trivial as a haircut to be remembered. Old habits died hard and pushing hair behind her ears was only a silly old thing any how. It was also a nervous thing she had done, which made her wonder what she was so nervous about. Glancing up at how close she was standing to Izaak and how amazing he looked in very little and glancing down at how very little she also seemed to have on made her realize that her nervous habit had not been for naught. There was chemistry between them normally but with both of them sleepy, anxious and now reminising about happier by-gone days it would only spell disaster surely.

"You didn't wake me, I couldn't sleep" her grey eyes looked away from him as the rest of that sentence went on in her head, 'I was inhaling your scent from your pillows, relishing the comfort of your bed but without you in it... '

 

[Izaak Finch]

Was it normal that an internal shudder arched through him as he caught Isabella gazing fixatedly at the taut lines that shaped his body? Was it normal that all of a sudden he desperately craved her delicate hands on him, braced against his chest and tracing the abdominal muscles in his stomach? More importantly, was it right? Then as if someone had handily pulled a pair of scissors from their pocket the tension, the sexual tension he admitted to himself, was cut as their fingers graze together. Isabella broke the lock of her gaze on his body, and he on her silver eyes as she leant forward to spoon some ice cream into her mouth. Izaak caught a breath and dragged it deep into his chest to calm himself down. Well you’re scaring me, he wanted to reply to her words that he had initially laughed at. But then Izaak realised; Isabella wasn’t the problem. I’m scaring me.

It was a relief to laugh again as she made excuses for herself regarding their little ice cream run-in. “Whatever!” He hissed playfully at her with a happy grin flicking right across his lips before hauling a large spoonful of ice cream out of the tub and wolfing it down with satisfaction. “You so did it on purpose!” It felt as if they had leaped from one extreme to the other, first desiring one another and now playfully arguing about the day they had met each other. But, and it was going to happen sooner or later, his attention was riveted to her physical appeal as she went to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Admittedly he’d been a little surprised when she’d turned up on his doorstep with a good length of her hair gone. But she pulled the look off, and damn well too. “It looks good though,” Izaak smiled and quickly ducked his head to carve out another spoonful of ice cream.

"You didn't wake me, I couldn't sleep" Swallowing his mouthful, Izaak lifted his head so that he could frame her perfectly in his azure eyes once more. “Oh. Well that’s okay then. But yeah, I couldn’t either. Obviously.” He laughed melodically but toned it down once he realised that it was still like two o’clock in the morning and Leah and Jay were still asleep. Placing the ice cream down, Izaak easily hoisted himself up onto the long breakfast counter and patted the space beside him, encouraging Isabella to jump up and sit beside him. “Is the bed okay though? You weren’t too cold or anything were you?” Izaak asked curiously, fulfilling his duties as her host.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

Grateful that he was making light of the situation Bella took another scoop of ice cream, perhaps though he wasn't making light at all and was simply not feeling what she was? The thought had no room to embed itself in her already chaotic mind, she was tired. Too tired to sleep and too tired to think straight. She licked her spoon clean turning as he moved from her, to watch him hoist himself onto the counter. He liked her hair or at least thought it looked good, she refrained from making any other comment regarding it as an image of him brushing her hair from her face crept unbidden to her memory. She forced herself to think positive happy thoughts, neutral thoughts that did not include Izaak but for the life of her she failed terribly. So made a big production of trying to scoop another spoonful instead, so she wouldn't have to look at his body again either.

His patting the space beside him didn't help her equilibrium any and she gulped the ice cream in her mouth, causing the worst brain freeze to assail her. Even worse was his comment about the bed just as she had been attempting to pull herself up onto the counter, her hands slid and she moved away briskly. Her face flushed crimson. Bella hurriedly placed her spoon down as her hands came then to her face to try to cool it or herself down. Was he purposefully trying to wind her up? No, the comment had been innocent even more so because he certainly didn't think of her like that. She wondered briefly if he had contact with Alexis and that seemed to be the sobering thought she had needed.

"Your bed.. I mean, yes. The bed is fine, better than fine. It's ... it's so comfortable" she was rambling, her eyes had moved once more to his gorgeous physique and her mouth now hung open whether it was in awe of him or because she was too terrified to say anymore, Bella prized her eyes away. That alone was a battle in itself. She wanted to tell him she was cold in there and wanted him beside her, beneath her, on top of her. That she wanted him but Bella couldn't and wouldn't. She was recuperating from her losses and he was one of those.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak’s expression was brandished with bewilderment as Isabella faltered at his questions, so much so that she couldn’t even pull herself up on to the counter to sit beside him. He couldn’t help but wonder what was racing so erratically through her mind that it impaired her ability to do what should be achievable otherwise. They had only been questions, question to essentially ease her discomfort, not to blow it out of proportion. Digging his spoon once again into the ice cream, Izaak heard her voice but her stumbling words were lost on him as he caught her looking once more at his muscled torso. The heat that had scorched him before returned with a blaze and Izaak squirmed uncomfortably on the counter, growing restless with how both his mind and body were rapidly responding to a mere gaze.

But even as Isabella’s eyes stole away from him, Izaak was too far gone and he simply couldn’t fight this on-going chemistry between them like he had for the past six months. Perhaps he didn’t want to either. One hand reached for her and curled gently at her upper arm before it slid so tantalisingly slowly right down to her wrist. Gently he pulled Isabella towards him until she was so close that his knees were either side of her waist. His heart was thundering out of control now, anticipating the moment he’d finally get to satisfy his desires because this time, unlike every other time at the hospital, he would not chicken out. His other hand was raised, still holding the spoonful of ice cream and Izaak placed the silverware before her lips and slid the minty treat into her mouth before allowing the spoon to clutter noisily to the floor. But this time Izaak didn’t care, he barely even noticed. Instead, he leant down to bring his forehead to hers and briefly basked in the intimacy, just for a moment with the lids of his azure eyes now closed. But then Izaak caved and leant in a fraction more until their lips collided. He kissed Isabella so slowly and so softly that it might have been taken straight from a fairytale. Though stirrings in his body didn’t allow the innocence to stay long. He needed to feel her, hold her, taste her. He needed more. As they kissed his tongue flicked across her lips, before sliding along her own, cold and sweet from the ice cream he had fed her. Izaak moaned in pleasure, he had wanted for so long to do this and now that he was it was better than he could have imagined. Not even the thought of Alexis and his undying love for her could not spoil this moment.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

If moments in time could be felt and experienced in slow motion then Isabella wanted this to be one of them. Izaak was reaching for her like he had so many times in so many of her dreams. His hand found her wrist and gathered her into him, locked between his legs she nearly died when it seemed all he wanted to do was feed her some ice cream. It was the emotion behind her grey eyes that must have given her away as she heard the spoon clatter to the floor. She had no time to consider why he was touching her, why he was kissing her but when his lips finally found hers she wanted simply to cry. It was too beautiful, too intense that she thought her heart would shatter into infinitesimal amounts right then and there. Her hands came up slowly not sure if she should touch him or not, wanting to risk it but not daring too. Afraid that she would break whatever enchantment was holding them like this, afraid that once his lips left hers he would regret it. The ice cream tasted better coming from his mouth, from his tongue. She relaxed into him slowly until she suddenly stopped and pulled away. Her lips swollen from his delicious kisses.

"You don't want this" she shook her head slowly and began to walk away from him backwards, "You've never wanted this. It's ... it's alone at night with a Veela. You can't help yourself. I'm sorry".
She could not bear the thought of him regretting her again and again. The remnants of the most beautiful kiss she had ever received still lingered on her lips as she turned and fled to her room, to his room. Closing the door she threw herself on top of the bed and curled herself up, hugging the pillow that smelled entirely of him close to her. Berating herself for coming here at all, she left the tears slowly ebb forth. A finger gently touching her mouth wishing she wasn't a veela so that she could be sure of him, convinced that if she wished hard enough anything was possible.

 

[Izaak Finch]

A smile so small it was just a twitch of his lips pressed against Isabella’s mouth as she relaxed into the kiss. Izaak honestly didn’t know where all this was going. He could not deny that somewhere inside of him he wanted to make a repeat of the first time they had been with each other because he knew that this time he was sober, this time he’d remember it. But it had still only been a month a no matter how strong his feelings were for Isabella, Alexis had ripped a hole in his heart that only time could heal and he didn’t think he was ready to go all the way with someone that wasn’t her. Kissing, on the other hand, was pleasure enough for now. But in a movement to quick to have calculated, Isabella had leapt away from the kiss.

The words she spoke didn’t make sense to Izaak. He was kissing her, finally letting her know that the feelings between them weren’t just one sided and she assumed it was her Veela blood getting to him. Yes, she was a stunningly attractive young woman but it wasn’t what she was that attracted him personally, it was who she was. But before he was even presented with the chance to reassure her of his affections, she was gone and had closed his bedroom door behind her. Shaking his head, Izaak knew he had no choice other than to follow her. If he didn’t her bags would probably be packed by morning. So he treaded a soft path to his bedroom and as quietly as possible, turned the handle to let himself in. He did not speak a word as he made his way across the room to his bed, the one she was curled up on top of. Not even as he climbed onto the mattress and sunk down carefully behind her. But as he pried the pillow from her arms so that he be able to hold her tight in his embrace, Izaak spoke a sentence with such truth weaved through it that he could never be accused of having ever thought otherwise. “You’re no Veela to me Is.” His fingers trickled gently along the curves of her body as he held her tight to his bare chest before leaning down to graze his lips slowly along the invitingly warm skin on the back of her shoulder.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She hadn't thought to lock the door, had not considered it when she had entered the room. Bella just hadn't contemplated that he would follow her but now she felt the slight draft as the door opened and his feet padded across the room to her. She did not need to look up to know it was him. His body lay behind hers and she was acutely aware of the flimsy material of her short nightdress, the feel of his taut body and her raw desire for him. A heady dangerous combination. The pillow she clung to like a life raft was pulled unfairly from her grip and in its stead his arms held her tighter, brought her closer against him. This was unfair, so unbearably unfair. This was supposed to be her time to regain her soul, her heart, her strength, her mind and in one fell swoop he had divested her of all of them. His lips against her shoulder, his words broke down any flimsy barrier she had tried to build up.

She was powerless against him, her body was one step ahead of her. As if knowing its master, remembering Izaak's touch and craving it once more she slowly turned to face him. Her hand cradled his face as her silver grey eyes looked longingly into his startling blue pools and she happily drowned in them.
"Then what am I?" she needed to know, had to once and for all. Did she really think he could be over Alexis in such a short time, was he only using her now to get over his true love? Bella feared the answer but needed it. Their bodies were much too close and he held her as if he would never let her go, so any chance of fleeing again was impossible but Isabella also knew that it was too late to run now. Her body had no intention of being parted from his.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak held still as she turned in the tight yet gentle grip his arms had circled her in. With all respect to her, Isabella was much like a timid doe he was stalking. Not that he had any intentions of preying so heartlessly on her, not at all. But if he made one wrong move now, stepped on a twig or, more to the situation, said the wrong thing, she’d be gone before his eyes in a flash and he mightn’t even have the chance to express his feelings for again. The yielding touch of her palm against his face, skin vs skin and heat vs heat lulled the nineteen year old into a false sense of security and he happily eased the lids of his azure eyes to a flickering close.

"Then what am I?" Izaak exhaled slowly, he had known something of this degree had been in store for him. But what could he say? He couldn’t say he loved her now; he was still getting his sea legs on the fact that these feelings existed, even if they might have even secretly been there all along. If he said anything less than that he knew she’d think she was just a consolation prize to him. Of course he had never loved a girl more than he did/had Alexis. But Isabella and Alexis, they were two different people, they wrought different feelings in him. And if he and Isabella had potential of going somewhere then who were either of them to spoil that chance?

Izaak tilted his chin forward and it was just enough to bring his lips to hers. He wouldn’t tell her, he’d show her. There was something so fitting about the way their mouths collided that it made it seem as if their lips had been sculpted for the other’s, it also made Izaak’s stomach turn with nervous excitement. She still tasted sweetly of his favourite flavour and it only made Izaak more ravenous. But he kept a hint of innocence in the undertones of his affections, even when he rolled onto his back so that he was now beneath Isabella, just to assure her of his genuineness. As their kiss began to come to a close, Izaak reached for her hand and placed it against his sturdy chest, right over the spot where his heart was thudding wildly with excitement. As Isabella’s touch sank in it shuddered and then burst with a speed even he had not thought it was capable of exerting. And as their lips broke from one another’s, Izaak grinned brightly up at her with those wondrously charming blue eyes of his and said, “A girl who can do that to me.”

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She waited it seemed like forever for her heart to be saved, for him to give her the peace that she so craved. No words seemed to come though and she wanted then to tug away from him as humiliation began to wrap itself about her. Had she really expected anything from him? And then as if heaven itself had opened up, had smiled on her and illuminated all her hopes and dreams he kissed her. It was like no kiss she had ever had before, her mind felt numb while her body felt invigorated. Her heart seemed to slow as if freezing the moment, wanting to relish it, savor the taste of him that she loved so much. Her body seemed to mold itself automatically to him and then he was placing her hand on his chest. Their lips broke apart and she stared mesmerized where her hand covered his heart, where hers had almost stopped with veritable shock that the one she loved was actually wanting her, desiring her, Izaak's heart was like an out of control locomotive. Her gaze slowly moved up to his perfect blue eyes as he spoke to her.

His smile was devastating but hers equaled it, she could not remember the last time she had been this happy. She lay her head softly against his chest, listening to the frantic drumming of the heart that was beating out of orbit because of her. As one hand tenderly encircled him, the one he had placed against his chest was gently caressing the body that encased his heart. She almost willed it to steady, to calm as she tilted her head up to meet his once more. The words on her lips were to tell him once again that she loved him but something stopped her, whether it was the memory of the first and last time she had ever been in a bed with a man, the result of that time and all the inbetweens that had led them to this moment she did not know, but her voice would not allow her to say it. Her heart refused to let her tell him. Kissing him and being kissed as if she were the only woman in the world was one thing, but confessing her love for him again was too much. Rejection was never too far away, Bella just wanted to enjoy this moment with him.
"Do you think you will forget all of this too in the morning?" she smiled referring to the last time they had lain together, she had every memory of that time but his drunken stupor had bereft him of any recall.

 

[Izaak Finch]

The smile that mirrored his own was dancing so on riotously Isabella’s lips that Izaak could not help but pride in the fact that he and he alone was the cause of it. He had finally found it lying within himself to give her what she had so deserved. As she lowered her head to press her ear gently against his chest, Izaak shifted a little beneath her before allowing himself to relax completely in a mingle of both of their elation. This specific kind of relief had been a long time coming for the pair, a handful of people had been able to see that even when Izaak couldn’t. His girlfriend Alexis being one of them. Was it because he had been trying to hard to deny it that he tricked himself into believing that he and Isabella would never become something? Naive, that was what he had been. And too fearful of breaking a love that had lasted for so long. But now that they were no longer ‘Alexis & Izaak’ and after a long gruelling month of denial he had finally come to terms with the fact that they might never be again, hope for him and Isabella was now burning brighter than ever.

A pleasured shudder spasmed through Izaak’s abdominal muscles as her gentle hand danced soothing patterns over his entire torso. He moaned with overwhelmed satisfaction and nuzzled the side of her face with his mouth, silently begging her not to ever stop because everything from the tickle of her fingertips across the sensitive spots to the weight of her head resting atop his chest felt so damn good. "Do you think you will forget all of this too in the morning?" Izaak laughed sheepishly, though somewhat relieved that his drunken night of lust was no longer regarded as taboo. “Why? Do I look drunk to you?” His azure eyes laughed all on their own and he fished out every glint of silver in her irises as they locked together in a steady gaze.

Suddenly pricked with curiosity, Izaak lifted his hands up to her shoulders and fell into a concentrated silence as they began moving down the sides of her body, taking his time to marvel properly at all of her perfectly smooth curves. They passed her chest, then her waist, followed by her hips before finally curling at the hem of her nightdress. Izaak hesitated for a moment, as if debating whether or not to hoist the material up and over her head but what his heart wanted and what his body wanted were two very different things. He needed to take this slow, they both did, or else the neck of their possibly blossoming relationship was as good as slit. “Don’t you go getting cold feet now,” Izaak smiled at her, picking their previous conversation up out of nowhere. “I want you still here in the morning.”

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She held him so close, inhaling the scent that she had before breathed in from his pillow. Her heart felt released, full and carefree. The man she loved was in her arms where she truly believed he belonged. The moment could not truly get any better. Smiling and shaking her head at his question, she could only chuckle and as the words fell from her lips wanted to regret them but suddenly knew she couldn't.
"I feel as if I am the one drunk this time" corny as it sounded it was utterly true, "drunk on love." Her silver grey orbs grew more and more mesmerised by his azure pools, the depths of them holding her captive willingly. As his hands began to glide over her body, her eyes involuntarily closed as a delicious shiver ran through her. Her lips parted as she exhaled slowly, enjoying the featherlight touch. His hand seemed to falter, waver on the hem of her nightdress as he warned her smilingly not to get cold.

She opened her eyes once more to look at him, returning his smile once more.
"How can I be cold now?" and it was true he was almost melded to her, looking down she could barely see where he begun and she ended. They looked so perfect lying there entangled in each other. It felt as if she had waited an eternity for this moment and she did not want to rush it, she wanted to relegate every inch of it to memory. Always afraid that something would happen and he would be taken from her again, leave her again. He may be saying he wanted her still there in the morning but she had wanted him too the last time they had shared a bed. Instead she had been left crying into her pillow as he walked away heavy with regret.
"I'll still be here, if you want me to be" she could only put the ball back in his court, wondering would she always be so unsure of him.

 

[Izaak Finch]

The cheesiness of her words alone cracked a smile across Izaak’s face and he shook his head amazedly at her, not at all degradingly. He was feeling quite dizzied himself but it wasn’t love, it couldn’t be love could it? The nineteen year old brushed the thought quickly from his mind. He loved Isabella but it wasn’t like that, not yet, not for awhile. ‘Liking her’ seemed almost insensitive and ignorant. And a crush was something a thirteen year old girl had on her favourite movie star. What were they, these surging feelings of his? Was he possibly falling for her already?

Izaak didn’t need to tear his mind away from his wandering thoughts as Bella basked in the sliding of his hand down her body. It simply snapped as he became transfixed by the way her lips hung slightly ajar and the pleasure she so seemed to reap from his affections. It was quite possible that he even enjoyed her reaction to his touch more than he did actually touching her. Every electrified nerve ending and all the lethal links between them were screaming so insistently their hunger for more that Izaak was constantly fighting off urges they pulsed through him. His heart was winning out though, it was not ready, he was not ready. But he didn’t know how much longer he could hold up his defences.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes followed Isabella’s in a path down to their entwined bodies and knew that she was right. "I'll still be here, if you want me to be" Izaak could have sworn that there was doubt lying in the undertones of her words, yet he understood perfectly why. He had left her in the lurch so many times before that he began to marvel over the fact that after everything she was right here in his arms. A simple nod or an agreement to her words would have done just fine but Izaak’s lips were soon working elusively against her mouth, frenching her with such perfect instincts he even began to make himself dizzy. Wanting an edge that he could not give from lying beneath her, Izaak gradually sat up on the mattress, still linked in a heated lip-lock, and reached back for her ankles to wrap them tightly around his waist.

The intensity of the kiss left no doubt in Izaak’s mind as to where this was going but somehow amongst the fired passion, his heart had caught a break and in its power he drew to a close. Heavy, jagged breaths filled the air as he placed a tender kiss on Isabella’s neck before coming to a conclusion that they needed to get out of this bedroom. His unleashed feelings were so new that he hadn’t learnt control, he just couldn’t trust himself around her. “Is...” He moaned breathlessly against the warmth of her skin, lapping up the way it felt against his lips. “Let’s go somewhere.” She’d probably think him crazy, it was two o’clock in the morning, but Izaak couldn’t simply stay here. It was too intimate and she was too irresistible.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

He never answered her with words and Bella found that it was becoming a habit of late but perhaps it was for the best. Somethings could never be said with words and somethings were just too difficult to say at all. His lips on hers felt too good, she could feel the magical surge of life wind its way through her body. The body that had given up feeling anything ever again, had wanted to give up but this was dangerous ground they were on. She wanted him so much but could not for the life of her go further than hold him and kiss him. It was too soon after losing Cassie. Her heart would break if he attempted to touch her the way her body seemed to want him too. It seemed to be reacting all on its own moving with him as he gathered her closer, bundled her to him as he sat up. A gasp escaped her mouth, knowing that this was going too fast. How did she tell him no? How could she tell him to stop when her arms were encircling him, her mouth kissing back with every thing she had in her. His lips began to trail down her long neck and she whispered his name out into the early morning. Too soon her mind kept telling her while her body ached and ached.

Izaak said her name and she groaned with delight at the sound of it from his lips when they were so caught up with one another. Part of her had been afraid that if he were to say anyone's name in the heat of the moment, he might call out Alexis. But he hadn't, his breathless voice had whispered her name. She would give in, she knew it now but his voice carried on. Her hands stopped caressing the slow lazy strokes across this back that they had been doing, her eyes slowly opened as she looked at him. She hadn't expected that, had not expected it at all. Slowly she unwound herself from him, nodding her head as she got down off the bed.

Walking in a slight daze to the wardrobe she pulled out some clothes without much effort. Two o'clock in the morning and he wanted to go somewhere, anywhere but be alone in a room with her. She was more confused than ever, one minute they were kissing so passionately as to leave her in no doubt that he did care for her and next he was asking her to leave. True it was to leave and go 'somewhere' with him but it was two o'clock in the morning! Not giving any thought to him sitting behind her on the bed, too wrapped up in her thoughts she pulled her night dress off with one fluid motion. Her beautiful naked body gathering her undergarments together and putting them on with ease. Still she had not looked at him, had not said anything. Pulling on her jeans she finally turned around, her fingers fumbling with the buttons.
"Ok... somewhere it is" she finished buttoning her jeans as she reached for her woolen sweater, she couldn't think of anything else to say. He had once again completely succeeded in perplexing her.

 

[Izaak Finch]

The sudden vacancy of his lap as Isabella slid off of the mattress stirred up a memory from within Izaak of months and months ago, Christmas Eve to be precise. But in this memory Alexis had been the girl that had vacated it and to cut a long and rather explicit story short, neither of their desires had been left unsatisfied. If asked, he could recite with perfect clarity each moment that had built up to it which would, unbeknownst to the young couple at the time be one of the last times that they would ever be completely together. First had come his confession about Cassie, there had been hostility and awkwardness but then had Alexis shared her hopes for the two of them having a child together well into the future, when the both of them were ready. And then of course they had told one another ‘always’ and sealed the deal. But that was just a memory now, there was no hope for a Finch/Richarde wedding on the beach like he had always secretly wanted, or a honeymoon in Italy and he was never going to father her first child. Chances are that after she moved out he’d never see her again.

That very possibility was like a winding punch to the gut as Izaak waited for Isabella to retrieve her clothes and suddenly he didn’t seem so lustful. Not only had he lost his lover but his best friend as well. Izaak tried to quickly swallow this new found grief as she approached and it slid forgotten, for now, right down to his stomach as she began to undress right before his very eyes. He gulped, his adam’s apple jerked in his throat as he stared wildly at her naked back. Perhaps he should have said something as the waistband of his trackpants began to feel uncomfortably tight but his jaw had frozen ajar with a mixture of awe and shock. Was she looking to be a tease and wind him up like this? It was somewhat of a relief once she was fully clothed, Izaak was able to breathe again but as she spoke he could hardly together gather a response that did not involve gawking or drooling. So he merely nodded with his jaw still unhinged and his throat growing drier and itchier by the mere second.

Sliding dazedly and still uncomfortably off of his mattress, Izaak swapped trackpants for a favourite pair of jeans and a white, v-necked shirt that clung, just enough to be considered straight, to his biceps. “You will seriously be the death of me, you know that?” Izaak laughed in exasperation as he returned to Isabella’s side, referring undoubtedly to the sexy little stint she had pulled before, whether she had meant for it to be conducted in that manner or not, he was still trying to calm the excitement her actions had plunged through him. His fingers found hers and laced between each of them, smiling then and kissing her cheek. “Feel like going anywhere in particular?” Izaak asked curiously as he led her out of his bedroom and into the silent hallways of the home he and his older sister had, or did now anyway, share. Of course the beach was always an option. Always, Izaak thought with a smile as he held the front door open for her. Or perhaps just a walk about the suburbian streets. Because judging by his reaction to her last manoeuvre, Izaak would not be able to help himself in the privacy of the bedroom.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

As she donned the warm sweater and looked again at him, she was taken aback by his dressing in front of her. Only then realizing that she had quite literally stripped in front of him. Her face flushed crimson and she quickly turned away so as not to be able to see any more than what she had too. Though she knew even from that one time every inch of his body. It's dips and curves were so familiar still to her as if she saw it's perfection every single day. Not understanding why he said what he did she shrugged, smiling at him hopelessly. If anyone was to be the death of any one, then surely it was him being the death of her. Getting her so heated to then douse her so coldly.

She walked to the door as he came and threaded his fingers through hers, kissing her on the cheek and startling her even more with his question. Bella had that point felt like hitting him squarely on the shoulder. He was the one to suggest that they go somewhere and now he was asking her as if she were the one who had suggested it. It was a good thing he was holding her hand because she seriously would have hit him. Slipping her feet into her tennis shoes she let him guide her outside into the chill night air.
"The beach" she couldn't remember the last time she had ever been to a beach at night time and with the moon gazing down on them as it did and the stars twinkling so beautifully she couldn't think of a nicer place to be.

Their feet moved silently on the path that led them to the golden beach, the sound of the surf breaking the silence. The beach looked beautiful, empty but for them. Releasing his hand she slipped her feet out of her trainers and rolled up the hem of her jeans. Dropping her shoes she smiled at him before running down to the edge of the water. She let her feet meet the cold water and squealed with delight before racing back a few steps then retracing them to touch the soothing foam again. Eventually she just stood there, wrapping her arms about herself, her golden hair gleaming in the moonlight, as was the silver grey of her eyes. She looked to celestial as if she was seriously not even from earth. Too beautiful and too melancholy as her thoughts took her away, wondering about Cassie for about the thousand time that day. Would she have liked the beach, would she have been a good swimmer? Her arms tightened about herself as a lump formed in her throat.


[sors for lameness]

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak hastily stuffed his feet into a pair of battered thongs outside the door and smiled with a deep, relentless love for the place she had spoken. There weren't many other places they could go at this time of night but Izaak knew that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. The beach itself was like his second home, maybe it was even like a first home considering how much time he had spent down there over the quickly approaching seven years that he had lived in Bondi. A familiar comfort surged through his body, spreading right to the tips of his lithe fingers as they followed the path down to the beach together hand-in-hand. It always reminded him of the day they had first met, no matter what situation they were likely to be tangled up in. Izaak could even make a perfect recollection of making an innocent break from the lust and the desire that had been pounding through his body as Isabella had led him up the stairs of the Leaky Cauldron on that fateful night of Cassie's conception. It was just one of those memories that would stick with him until his grave.

Soon Izaak could feel the sand making uncomfortable friction between the soles of his feet and his rubber thongs, so he took a moment to look down and kick them off. But once he lifted his gaze back up, Isabella was already amongst the whitewash, squealing gleefully as it bubbled around her ankles. The nineteen year old smiled with glowing radiance at this before falling into silence as he became lost in the constant battle of her immaculate beauty against the picturesque moonlit ocean. He had never seen her look more stunning than she did in the moonlight but there was an odd depressive mood about her. Curious and anxious, Izaak sauntered down to the shoreline to stand behind her and lace his arms around her hourglass waist. For a long time he stood that way with her safely in his embrace as he lost himself amonst the barrelling, ebony waves until finally breaking the silence with a curious question. "What are you thinking about?"

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

It really was a beautiful night and she was so grateful to Izaak for inviting her along. The few weeks she had spent back in England had not been in any way restful. Her parents had blubbered over her sickeningly, appalled of course at first that their precious baby could get herself caught like that and then devastated for her loss and theirs. They had wrapped her up in cotton wool, not wanting her to do anything or go anywhere while they ran about after her. She had wanted to kill Sakura for bringing her, the relationship between her mother and father was still so strained from her being sent to Azkaban for hurting him during a veela rage. Her mother being a full veela meant when her temper got the better of her, she changed to nothing more than a harpie. Her fathers injuries had been extensive but he loved her mother and wanted to make another go of their marriage when she was released. They had basically used the time she had been back as a breathing space so that they no longer had to look at one another and deal with their own problems. Instead they focused squarely on Isabella's. Her father had a few not so nice names to call Izaak, while her mother had a few choice words to say about Alexis. Isabella had rolled her eyes wishing Sakura had not filled them in on every detail. It was with relief that she finally had sent the letter to Izaak to let him know she would be joining him after all at Bondi beach, by that time she was in dire need of rest.

She had one last check up to return for and then had made her way to see him. The past few days had been more her catching up on sleep that never really came, wanting only to spend the time on her own in her room. His room and of course the smell of him lingering everywhere had made it worse to dispel her grief. Corinne had said it would take time, that grief was different for everyone. That one minute she would be fine and next the silliest thing in the world might make her cry or sad or angry. Her body was still carrying hormones from the pregnancy and would probably do so for another few weeks at least, so she was constantly floating on a tidal wave of erratic emotions. Looking out across the ocean she thought about how their daughter would have looked. Would she have had Izaak's blue eyes or her own silver grey? His arms came about her and she settled back against him. The noise from the surf soothing her. She felt protected in that moment, as if he could protect her from anything but it was all an illusion like so much of life. She could not be protected, her baby had not been able to be protected even when she had been supposedly save inside of Bella. His question caused her to close her eyes as her hands reached up to hold the arms he had about her.
"Cassie."

 

[Izaak Finch]

The name curled through the surging cycles of the surf and buried itself deep within Izaak, squeezing in painfully right beside his heart. Izaak had never wanted to be a father before he had even turned twenty, he didn’t want to be tied down with all the responsibilities. Admittedly when Isabella had first told him that she was carrying his child, the news made him nauseous and frightened and infuriated with himself. But after all of the cherished moments the three of them had shared, Izaak had realised; he had wanted to be a father, but for the time being only to Cassie alone. His azure eyes glinted in the light of the moon as they cast their gaze out over the top of Isabella’s head, replaying the sound of their daughters heartbeat over and over again in his mind. That had been the very moment that he had fallen in love, making himself vulnerable to the devastation she had left behind with the miscarriage on that horrible, horrible weekend all those weeks ago.

“You know,” Izaak began in somewhat of a mumbling sentimental tone as he nuzzled his face both affectionately and soothingly against the warm column of her elegantly sleek neck. A broken, yet somehow charmingly fitting chuckle escaped him as he spoke his next words, his fantasy of her being ‘Daddy’s little girl’. “She would have been surfing before she could even walk.” In the weeks leading up to her loss, Izaak had begun to wonder what she’d inherit from each of them, be it physically, emotionally and all the rest. Would she take Isabella’s wholesome sweetness? Would her eyes open to be such a startling shade of blue like his own? All of these questions remained unanswered and they would never, ever be able to find the answers. It was still paining him, but not so sharply. The thought of her dragged a dull emptiness with it, as if he was missing something from his life, something he had never expected to have in the first place.

“You okay?” He asked her in a voice so low it was almost a whisper and squeezed her in tight against his chest just to let Isabella know that he was there if she needed him or anything else for that matter. But a thousand embraces would never make up for what she had lost, what the both of them had. And right now at the crossroads of friendship and romance, it was possible they’d never have a second shot at it again.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

Bella smiled as he spoke about how he had visualized their daughter, smiled and then the tears came. She hadn't realized that he had been doing exactly what she had been doing. Looking out over the ocean she thought she could actually picture a little blonde girl with glorious blue eyes giggling and all excited on a surf board calling out to her parents to watch her. Of course Izaak would have been right there with her while Bella watched and waved from the shore. The image was so real that the sob that tore from her seemed so loud and painful in the silence that surrounded them. She had to say goodbye to her, she had never had a chance to say goodbye. How could she get closure of any kind when her baby had been ripped from her.

Tearing herself from his embrace she furiously wiped her tears and began to walk the length of the beach. Her stomach felt tight, painfully sore as if it was suddenly aware that it was empty. Looking down at her hands she knew they craved Cassie as well, wanted to hold her cradle her but that would never happen and Bella wasn't sure if she ever wanted to venture down that road again. Sure she was young and could have other children but the heartache she was experiencing now she simply did not want to go through again, ever. Her footsteps began to pick up speed until she began to run blindly as if the faster pace could push out the pain, the agony the loss that was filling her. It was uncanny that she could be smiling one minute and devastated the next but she had been warned that it would happen, could happen. Just when she thought she could run no further, her legs gave out and she fell on her knees to the sand. Her tears coursed down her face as her hands wrapped themselves around her waist and her face looked up at the night sky. Her eyes tightly shut as her loud sobs pierced the air. Was she falling apart? It felt like it, it felt like it would take a miracle to piece her back together, to keep her in one piece and Bella knew better than anyone, that miracles simply didn't exist.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak was so sure he had seen a smile lift her cheeks from where he stood behind Isabella as it made him smile in a mirror of it. But as sobs, increasingly rising in volume and depth, began to shudder through her delicate body, Izaak frantically began to second guess himself. It had taken a mere moment not much longer than an erratic heartbeat, for her mood to so drastically tumble upside down. Was it even possible? But it was still soon enough after Cassie’s loss, Izaak reminded himself, her body was still catering for the likes of two. And that meant everything was on overdrive, emotions included.

As much as Izaak would love to say he knew exactly what to do when a girl tore crying helplessly from his embrace, he couldn’t. Perplexed by her sudden distance and rooted to the spot by the obvious fact that she hadn’t wanted to be in his arms any longer, Izaak stared worriedly after Isabella as she began to pace down the beach. It was not until he saw her slowly disappearing figure break into a run that he began to follow after her. Izaak forced his footsteps to remain steady and even, knowing that it would give her at least a few minutes on her own but he could not let her have much longer. She was still so fragile and he so concerned.

Eventually Izaak reached her side and glided his body swiftly down to her level with a gentle thump of his knees against the soft sand. The sight of her body wrenching and convulsing with sobs of such a horrific power broke Izaak’s heart. In all of his nineteen years, Izaak had solved many, many problems solely on his good instincts. He knew what words would soothe and exactly how to embrace someone to instil a glint of hope or security within them. He’d had so many friends fall apart around him after all. But none of it mattered now, no amount of words or touching embraces could erase the hurt that was reeling through Isabella in this moment. Slowly he reached out, as not to startle her already distressed body, and braced his flat palm softly against her back. Gliding it in circular motions, he inched closer until he was well within her personal circle and steadily folded his arms around her. “Hey, hey,” He soothed into her ear as he held her close enough to swap body heat, wishing with all of his might that he could bring back the daughter he had given to her, only for the fates to snatch it cruelly away again. He sighed with a hint of frustration, Did this girl ever get a break. “I know it’s hard Is, but you’ve got me now and I’m not going to stop trying to help you through this. Okay?”

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

The tears came as if the very last part of the dam had blown away. She had cried many times since and would most likely cry many times more and each time she did, Bella convinced herself that there was no possible way that any could remain, that she had surely cried herself dry. But it was never the case. She was raw, the wound was still too fresh too new and of such magnitude that she was never sure if it would heal. Even now as his hand stroked her back, she could not take comfort in it. The emptiness within her was too much. Izaak folded her into his arms and at first she stayed there, simply allowing the sobs to control her. The pain to carry her. She heard his words but they didn't sound like the words of comfort, just those of annoyance. As if once again she was upsetting a perfectly good moment, as if once again she was being overly dramatic. Bella didn't know where this notion came from perhaps his sigh had triggered it, or the feeling deep within her that she would have been better off if she had never met him but suddenly she was turning on him. A hand reached up and slapped his shoulder, a tear fell. Her other hand reached up and hit his other shoulder just as hard, another tear fell.

She could no more control herself now than the tide that was beginning to wash in close to them. Repeatedly she slapped at his shoulders and chest, tears free flowing and then her arms were about his neck holding him close. Bella was completely and utterly lost, not knowing whether she was coming or going. She didn't mean to take her pain. anger and frustration out on him but there was no one else. She was not a god fearing person, was not a believer in anything other than life itself and right now she was grieving life. Her tear streaked face turned to look at him. So close, too close and then she didn't care any more if he pushed her away. She wanted to feel, needed to feel something other than the pain. Her mouth found his and moved with such a force that she had never felt before. Her fingers curled tightly at the back of his neck as her body pushed against him. Anything was better than feeling empty, anything was better than feeling numbed. She broke her mouth from his for a second to catch her breath, her silver grey eyes drank him in before they closed again and her mouth claimed his. There was nothing soft or tender about her kisses, raw passion that needed a release fused their mouths together. She had never known she could even kiss with such ferocity, it felt as if her bones were being stripped of everything and she relished the feeling. Welcomed oblivion with open arms.

 

[Izaak Finch]

The stinging slap of her palm hard against his shoulder grabbed Izaak by surprise. He had thought this was about Cassie. Had he unknowingly stepped out of line to make her this angry with him. Words and stills scrolled at a blindingly fast rate from his mind as he retracted his arms from around Isabella, trying to catch her silver eyes just to see if they held the answers he sought. But he couldn’t, he just watched on helplessly with those puppy-dog blue eyes of his. These bottled emotions of hers needed releasing though, so Izaak waited patiently for the flailing of her hands to ease. Physically it barely hurt at all, but emotionally it was devastating him from the inside out. This girl, one he loved and cared about, was slowly falling to pieces and in the end, it had all been because of him. Maybe he shouldn’t have made that smart a** comment after her scoop of ice cream had fallen to the ground. Maybe then she’d be okay and he’d be with Alexis now, planning their trip to Italy and celebrating their upcoming anniversary. But the last six months, as up and down as they had been, would seem like a waste if she wasn’t there. Isabella already had so much of a presence in his life.

Izaak made the smart decision not to move as her grip found his neck, as her glassy eyes lifted to his own. Instead he waited for Isabella to come to him and when she did, it was with such unexpected force that it nearly knocked him back onto the sand. His mouth fought back against hers now that he had been invited back, suddenly driven wild with desire she had instigated in him. If Isabella kept at it this way, he’d never be able to stop himself. Everything from her body pressed so tightly against his own to the intoxicating smell she alone seemed to possess left Izaak so hungry for more that he had almost forgotten about her insecurity at this point in time.

Their lips broke and Izaak, although panting breathlessly for more air, moaned in dissatisfaction. His brain had moved off elsewhere and all he could think about now how much he wanted Isabella, every single last piece of her. So naturally, once their mouths reconnected he dove back in with a ravenous hunger, shaking off the underlying feeling that something wasn’t quite so right. Losing his sense amongst her forceful kisses, Izaak slid one hand from her slender stomach right down to the button on her jeans. His thumb circled it as they kissed, wanting so desperately to pop it open but knowing that she especially would regret this. Izaak broke the kiss from Isabella’s lips and began to slide his mouth audaciously along her neck and then stopped and breathed into her ear. “Why do I feel like I’m taking advantage of you?” The question was almost rhetorical, but Izaak could be wrong, this could just be a turn of hormones.