Anger is Pain

Sara Moon

Former 'Claw | Auror | Grieving
Messages
3,744
OOC First Name
Maia
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Engaged
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
Wand
12 and a half inches willow with unicorn hair
Age
5/2015
Sara strode out to the cliffs, her fists clenched her fingernails boring into her palm. She wasn't exactly dressed suitably for the weather, but the Winter here was warmer than Summer in Ireland, so she didn't feel particularly cold. She'd used a colour changing charm on some sections of her hair last night, which were now pink. People had been looking at her oddly. She liked the feeling of being unpredictable. She's spent so much time, worrying about other people, worrying about her sister, her brother. hoping they'd be okay. It had messed with her sleep, messed with her head, and now she was sick and tired of it. It was her turn to do as she pleased. She'd never be an auror now. An A in Herbology. How had she let herself fall behind? She'd always sailed through tests, never had to work too hard, and here she was. Her life was failing apart around her and she didn't know what to do. What would she do with her life? And then there was Jake. He wouldn't like the new her, but she was beyond caring. Her anger clouded her senses.

She kicked at the ground , stopping as she reached the cliff. For a moment she just stood at the edge. What would happen if she jumped? Would it make everything easier? Would she survive the fall? She shook her head quickly. That was crazy talk, and plus-there'd be charms to prevent students falling. She sat at the edge, her legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. If her Father saw her now, he'd faint. The shock of seeing his Princess, his Sara wearing such a short dress. She was breaking his heart, but she couldn't help it. She needed this. She needed to stop caring so much, it only ever caused trouble. Impulsively she flicked her wand toward a rock lying a few metres away; "Confrigo!" she yelled, smiling slightly as it exploded. It was then that she stood up, and began dancing. She skipped up and down along the edge of the cliff, yelling wildly, pointing at rocks round her and grimacing as they exploded. Her anger was palpable, and she knew it. Eventually she just lost it, and ran back over to the edge of the cliff, staring down, feeling the wind, it made her feel better, she was angry, and the weather matched her mood. She lay down at the edge, resting her chin on the side, she could see the water below her, could imagine the cool feel of the water. She pointed her wand at a pebble; "Wingardium Leviosa." he flung the pebble out toward the water, watching it plop. Frowning, she realised that wasn't enough. "Wingardium Leviosa!" this time it was a large rock she threw, one she couldn't have possibly lifted without magic. She flung it out into the water, where it landed with a satisfying crash. She still felt angry, but something about perching her made here feel better.
 
Justin couldn't help but be conpletely and utterly confused about this year already, it hadn't even really started yet and already he was confused. He was a sixth year, how had the time passed by so quickly? Next year he would be graduating, and he'd be able to leave and do whatever he wanted, which was to go professional. There was a time when he wanted to be a Healer, and that was still a though he had been thinking about, but his grades weren't up to snuff, so he let his dream fizzle. Drake got the grades though, so at least Justin was comforted by the fact that he could live vicariously through his twin if he really wanted to. The Slytherin had began to settle through the holidays, something he hadn't expected. He was used to being a horrible person that didn't really care much for people, their feelings or their opinions, yet these days he had began to actually care about people. It was irritating, but it also felt a little good, if that were possible. The spirits were being good to him, so the least he could do was actually appreciate their guidance and be reasonable for once in his life.

Justin casually wondered around the grounds, soon finding his way to the cliffs. He wasn't sure why, but he just decided that they were the way to go. he had liked the cliffs, even though he didn't spend much time there. They were usually quiet and solitary and they were rarely crowded, so it would be the perfect place to sit and think for a bit. The Slytherin's plans of relaxation were utterly destroyed when he realised that there was an insane person up here. She was dancing around, exploding rocks and just being really weird. Justin stared at the girl for a very long time, before he cleared his throat awkwardly. She had settled down by now, so he was sure it'd be safer. "Umm... excuse me!" He called, walking closer to the girl, who appeared to be looking over the cliffs. "I've got to ask... are you crazy? Or do you think that destroying things is normal behaviour?" He meant it in the nicest possible way, well, actually he didn't care enough about others to worry about this girls feelings, but he didn't want to be the target of one of her spells, sure he could protect himself with his own wand, that he was sure, but he still didn't want to push it.
 
Sara started breathing again, the colder air hurt her lungs after jumping around so vigorously. Thankfully the place was pretty much deserted. How shocking! Sara Moon, Prefect and Quidditch Captain misbehaving and causing a scene. Unthinkable! She laughed at the thought. Why had she allowed it go on for so long, this false image of a perfect girl. A girl who was funny and smart, did well in school, made friends. A girl who was secretly drowning under all the pressure, a girl who was too young to be asked to keep an eye on her anorexic sister, who wasn't ready to handle all the pressures of the adult world. She was terrified, terrified of leaving Hogwarts, of moving on. Angry, she started picking at the earth of the cliff, watching as scraps of dirt fell down the long descent to the water below. A violent stab at the cliff broke off a bigger piece, after that, she threw another pebble, and just before it reached the water, she whispered; "Accio pebble." and caught it as it flew back up toward her. Suddenly, a voice entered her world, her world of turmoil, and she swung around, almost falling off the edge as she turned to see him; "Whoa!" she exclaimed, leaning forward to right herself. she rose from the ground, brushing down her dress and glaring at the intruder.

She scoffed at his question; "What if I said yes? what would you do if I told you I was crazy, that my mind is a danger zone, and you'd want to run away right now before I hex you into next week?" she growled, hating the way she sounded. "No. I'm not crazy, I'm just angry." she answered. "How long have you been watching?" she asked, taking a look at him for the first time, taller than her, even when she was wearing heels, but that was normal. at 5"1' she was hardly a giant. He had nice eyes. Her mouth formed a grim line as she observed this. He looked around her age. Great. All of Hogwarts would know now. No doubt she'd be seen as that crazy loon in Seventh Year, the one wit no future, the one with no life, the one whose best friend disappeared, whose other best friend prefers her sister. That wasn't fair. Kate and Stefan were amazing, and Sara was happy for them. Was she? She didn't know. All she knew was she was mad, and she wasn't even sure who with. It turned out they'd been right all along, the girls who'd told her she was worthless, a freak, a weirdo. Might as well go with it-what else could she do? She looked up at the boy, glad he wouldn't be able to read the expression in her eyes through her heavy eye make-up. "Who are you?" she asked, all thoughts of politeness, charm, grace, all forgotten. Her training, her learning, her concentration on etiquette, so as not to embarrass her Father. It seemed so pointless.
 
Justin took a few quick steps forward as the girl began to fall, but she stabilised herself and Justin retracted his steps. He crossed his arms across his chest as he began examining the girl. She looked familiar, he definitely knew her from somewhere, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Was she in Slytherin? He doubted, hopefully no person from his beloved house would be dumb enough to do this. That wouldn't be upholding the name of Salazar Slytherin at all. She began to answer his question, rather strangely. She reminded him of certain relatives he'd rather soon forget. so he simply shrugged as a quick reply, allowing some time to pass so he could fully analyse the situation and speak his mind. "To be entirely honest, in the past I would have said; you must have an interesting story that I must hear in order to upset you further and feel better about myself." He moved his hands as he spoke, a habit he didn't exactly favour. One of the very few things he didn't like about himself. "But in this day and age it's a little old to be a b@st@rd, so for now I'll just settle with... are you okay? And do you need to talk?" Even though he was speak genuinely, anyone could still tell that it was horribly unnatural and that being 'caring' and 'considerate' was all new to him.

It was good to hear that she wasn't absolutely insane, but anyone that was angry enough to do that was just a little crazy, though crazy wasn't always an insult. He shrugged once again. "Long enough to know that I don't want to have to get into a duel with you, as you are now." Justin wasn't much of a dueller, his talents were more into the broom side of magic. He cocked his brow in question when she practically demanded to know who he was. "I could ask you the same thing." He replied, taking a few steps closer. He didn't want to move too fast, just in case she felt the need to point that wand at him and hex him. "So for now, until you've managed to put your wand on that rock-" he gestured to one of the only rocks still intact beside her. "-let's just keep all of this confidential." He didn't care for her name, nor did he want to give his own until he knew that she wouldn't go ape on him.
 
Sara could feel herself calming down slightly, biting her lip as she saw he'd thought she'd fall. Wonderful, now she looked like an idiot who couldn't look after herself, but that's what people thought anyway. She was the boring sister, the one who did the right thing. She decided that she needed to calm down, she shouldn't be mad wit this guy. He hadn't done anything wrong. Still, it was hard to keep her cool. she'd spent so long ignoring her raging temper, trying to reign it in, once she'd let it go, it was hard to stop. Still, it usually lasted short periods, and she could feel the anger abating and turning into sadness. Sadness was easier to hide. "Wow. You must've been charming." she replied, smiling slightly, and walking over to a bush. She plucked off a twig, breaking it into smaller pieces. "No. I'm fine, as per usual." she replied, smiling, and looking over at the boy. "It's just...school stuff...sort of." she explained, without explaining anything. Sara was an expert at that. She'd done it her whole life. Realising this, she turned around, changing her mind; "No. I'm not okay. I messed up, I only got an A in Herbology and so I can't keep it on for NEWTs and I'll never be an auror. On top of that, my family is a mess." she admitted. Her eyes were watery, but it was invisible under the make-up.

Sara sighed at his response; "I'm not going to duel you. What would be the point. Get in trouble, shock everyone. 'Oh Wow, a prefect, Quidditch Captain, attacking a boy on the cliffs. How terrible-just goes to show you never really know someone' I'm not stupid." she replied, she was calm now, but not happy. It felt weird, letting herself be annoyed. She'd shoved all of that away, when it was for herself. She could be annoyed on behalf of her family, or friends with ease, but herself...that was different. "Fair enough." she replied. She laughed as he continued; "You sound like a lawyer, or something." She left go of the pieces of leaf, watching them blow away, over the edge of the cliff.
 
The girl appeared to smile, so that was something. In his experience, people didn't smile when they were crazily angry. He relaxed slightly. His more sarcastic self quickly showed. "Oh yes, unimaginably so. Had millions of friends." He smirked. Perhaps this girl would be able to help him, and maybe he her. Maybe the spirits were trying to teach him patience and kindness, in the form of a raging girl that really needed to put her wand firmly on the ground and step away from it. Her behaviour was odd, but he had known stranger, so he just went with it and found himself a nice rock to sit on and crossed his legs. Talking to people was weird, it was easier to just tease them and walk away, but if he didn't clean up his act, like he promised he would, then he'd be pulled into line by force, and he didn't want that. After what appeared to be a brief lie, the girl decided to take a double take and seemed to speak her mind. He was in a very similar boat, a very similar one indeed. "I see..." He thought about what he'd say, just to make sure he didn't screw it up. He was actually getting somewhere. "I wanted to be a Healer." He confessed, with a small eye-roll. "But I'm horrible at Potions, and if I so much as poke a plant it'll die, so I ended up getting a few bad grades. In fact, I got an A for Herbology. So I'll never be a Healer. Also my 'bedside manner' leaves something to be desired." He paused, allowing his 'story' as it could be called, sink in. "So I abandoned it. All ambitions are merely dreams, sometimes they turn into nightmares. But in my culture, we're encouraged to realise that not everything is our choice and it's up to the spirits to decide. So maybe you're meant to do something else." Justin hid his smirk as he listened to himself speak. Wow was he channelling his brother right now. "And as for your family... I can't really comment on that, because I've got no idea what's going on. But as long as they're alive and together, does it really matter? Unless some's dead or something, sorry if someone's dead." To be safe, he just decided to cover all bases with that one. Maybe counselling was 'good for the soul', as his father put it.

It was a relief to know that he wasn't going to duel today. He was sure there was some rule in his family to know duel with crazy girls on cliffs, because it didn't really sound like a good story to be part of. When she labelled herself a prefect, and Quidditch Captain, Justin nodded his head. Now he knew who she was, though her name escaped him. She was... a Ravenclaw, the seeker in fact. He'd never personally versed her because he was Chaser the last time their teams at locked heads. That's how he knew her, and the fact that she was a prefect, they were sort of hard to ignore. But now her was one, that was surprising. "I can see how a caption like that can give one a bad name." He admitted, nodding. It wouldn't really help him much either, but he didn't mention that. She mentioned that he sounded like a lawyer, to which he smirked. Never in his life had he been called a lawyer before. "I've never been called that before. I guess I can say thankyou." And there it was. Possibly the first, honest to the spirits thankyou that Justin had ever said.
 
Sara laughed aloud at his response. "So funny as well as charming." she joked, sitting back down. "Lucky me." she played with the edges of her dress, really wanting to go over to the edge of the cliff again, but not wanting to freak the stranger out. She looked up as he moved. "This feels like I'm in a therapists office or something. I'm fine." she smiled, looking up at the boy. She sat up on her knees, turning to look at him. She listened to his story, smiling as he tried to empathise. It turned into a grin as he spoke about his beside manner. "I'm sorry." She didn't understand what he meant, about dreams. "Where are you from?" she asked, thinking that knowing what culture he was talking about might help. "I get what you mean, but I've wanted this since I was eleven years old and first learned about aurors." she frowned, letting her hair fall in her face. She smiled, shaking her head as he spoke about family; "No, nobody's died. My siblings have had a lot of problems. My twin sister was anorexic, and then she got ill, and my brother was bullied, while his twin was falling apart without him." she explained; "I spent too much time worrying about them, and now I'm in a mess and everyone's annoyed with me saying I'm shaming myself." she finished, looking down at her hands, which were resting in her lap.

She looked back up at his comment; "My own fault for over-achieving when it didn't matter and under-achieving when it did." she replied. Deciding that it was time to stop monopolising the conversation; "How about you? Why are you at the cliffs?" she asked, leaning forward on the grass, her head resting in her hands. "You're welcome Mr. Lawyer-man." With a grin, she decided that was what she would call him, until she knew his name at least. "I'm Sara. Sara moon." she announced, offering an olive branch.
 

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