A different kind of firework

[Geovanna Adler-Cade]

Geovanna was angry, angry that she'd ever let anyone get as close to her at the school as she had allowed Jess and Leila to. Riley had been different, she'd been a girl she'd grown up with like a sister since they were just a couple of years old, and despite being now in separate schools the pair would still talk on occasion and write to another. Moving to New Zealand three years ago however had been a new experience for her, and after putting herself out there and befriend a couple of Gryffindors, she'd quickly become attached, resulting her feelings being ultimately smashed when during the holidays they'd abandoned her. Anger had been boiling over the holidays, but she'd managed to remain reasonably calm during the weeks spent with Vil and her family, learning about her dorm mates upbringing, and the Hufflepuff had kindly lent an ear on the occasion she did bring up her ex-best friends, and for that she was grateful. It wasn't enough though now to talk. Last year she'd promised herself to pick up another skill by her fourth year and she'd just done that, and even though she wasn't able to practise her martial arts at the school, it had been a good chance for her to get out her angry energy.

Walking from the common room down to the Great Hall, the blonde had stopped outside the Trophy Room. It was early and as usual Geo was already up and about, thoughts bubbling around in her head as they did when she were alone these days. How could they have done that to her? She did nothing but her best during their last year, when they practically spent most of their time in their common room, and her Valentines note had been a desperate attempt at getting their attention. Crossly she entered the room off the corridor. No, she should have noticed this coming sooner. They didn't need her or want her no matter what they'd once said. It was more than being left behind by the family she'd made. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't help but think that she shouldn't have let them in in the first place, then none of this would have happened. She was better on her own then no one would be able to let her down. It had thrown her perspective of those she'd trusted, recalling every conversation to see whether they too were on the horizon of discarding her. Looking around the room, the trophy room was in perfect condition, showing off the best of the school and believing that even her name was in here a couple of times from last year, her blue eyes hunted around for the names.

Why should she always be the one to get left behind? Wasn't she just as worthy of love and friendship that those around her? She put her heart into everything she did, and had spent the last few years trying to prove herself, and while her emotions may have been an overreaction and something she would come to terms with, right now they were very much on the surface of her mind. Geo found her name, etched onto one of the trophies for the most house points for Hufflepuff. She'd be proud of her efforts but wasn't it all in vain if she were alone? Angrily and without much thought, with shaking hands the fourth year threw the trophy across the room as hard as she could, watching it sail through the air until it made contact with a glass cabinet, shattering the frame and littering the floor with the sharp edges. This was no doubt going to cost her greatly if she were caught, but beyond caring about anything asides from the fact that she was the only person to have her own back, she proceeded to swipe her arms across another shelf beside her, scattering the newest across the floor with a satisfying crash. Who cared if someone walked in. She was a metamorphmagus and for the first time in her life felt the flush of fury that wasn't holding back. There were no tears, just the rage that was only going to be solved physically and without the ability to use her new found muggle style fighting skills, it was the closest she could get. She was a witch and would clean this up once she was finished, and hopefully before a professor had a chance to find out.
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[Monty Pendleton]

Monty was enjoying his early morning walks significantly more now that he took them following a decent night's rest. For some months preceding his collapse, he had been functioning on a mere two to three hours' sleep per night - often less, if he grew frustrated staring at the ceiling and got up at four o'clock. Those had been less pleasant walks. Sick, tired, and hanging on the fringe of consciousness, he'd at times wondered if he would make it back to the castle. In hindsight, the breakdown seemed inevitable. Why he hadn't foreseen it at the time, given his tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion, still baffled him. Every new angle from which he inspected his memory gave highlight to some new hint, some sign that, if only he'd noticed sooner, might have saved him from this embarrassment and heartache.

But it didn't matter. In spite of the pain, and the humiliation, he was determined - more determined than he had ever been in his life. It was like Arvo had once told him: he could either let the anxiety win, and prove the voice in the back of his head correct, or he could pick himself up, dust himself off, and keep fighting. It was a new year, a new term, a new morning. This was the beginning of the start.

Returning from the grounds, Monty was taking a detour through the castle when a horrific crash sounded in the room ahead to his right. He started into a sprint, most afraid that somebody might be hurt, though frightened for whatever he was about to find. Bursting into the trophy room, his blood turned cold. "Stop it!" he bellowed, brandishing his wand to disarm Geo before realising she'd made the mess by hand. Overturned trophies lay in beds of shattered glass, glinting in dawn's light from the window. For a second, Monty could only stare at the broken scene, astonished. Then he came back to his senses. "Get away from the glass," he said. "Stop this. You're going to hurt yourself!"

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[Geovanna Adler-Cade]

At the sight of the mess she'd made, Geo was already feeling a little better, her heartbeat sounding loudly in her chest as the adrenaline pumped through her veins. With an arm she knocked off a couple more trophies, watching them skid along the floor until they came to an eventual halt at the bottle of the cabinets. At the sound of a voice she closed her eyes, willing herself to believe that she'd imagined that someone had joined her. Before her rational brain could comprehend what she was doing, she was shouting. Shouting at a professor for the first time as though any chance she had of success was straight out the window already. "I'm already hurt." It was true, feeling as though she'd lost a family had been worse than losing Jess as a girlfriend. Geo turned on the spot slowly, her eyes quickly meeting the man behind her, her eyes still glowing red from her long recent nights, but her mind calming at the sight of him. What was she doing? Her hand slipped into the pocket of her jeans, removing her wand as she swallowed nervously, trying to recall the correct spells. The fourth year realised the meaning of her words, of course the glass hadn't actually harmed her. She made a few feeble attempts at casting something that would put right her actions, but the words were failing her. Charms was her favourite subject and she couldn't even get that right when it counted. "I cant," she said weakly, finally making eye contact with Professor Pendleton.

Geo had never felt as numb before as she did that morning, stood in the centre of the chaos she'd created and unable to see a way out. Everything was a facade, a mask, even she was able to just run and hide her face if she so desired. Her face softened but only as an overlay took over. With her actions short lived, the energy had still been sapped from her body, and while she could have continued she wasn't sure she needed to. Silently she blinked around her, and didn't want to think about or them or anything else that was making her angry. She could feel a layer surrounding her, that had grown from her own mind, protecting the blonde and stopping the outside world from getting in. She stared at the professor, waiting for him to scold her for her actions, not that it mattered.
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[Monty Pendleton]

"You are? Where?" Monty asked, suddenly forgetting his fear of Geo throwing something at him and taking a concerned step forward. It took him some seconds to realise she did not mean literally. This was the kind of pain he couldn't see - the kind of pain that would make a kind, well-behaved girl smash cabinets in the trophy room. He watched her pull her wand from her pocket, his heart twinging as she met his eye. He had never seen her look so defeated. "Come away from there," he said, leading her a safe distance from the shattered glass. Then, with a wave of his own wand, he swept the glass into a neat pile; another flick, and the shards began to rise slowly, carefully, fitting themselves piece by piece back into the cabinet. As the trophies levitated back upon their shelves, Monty turned a frown upon Geo. He was not angry - merely concerned. "What was that about, hm? You could have been seriously injured. Physically injured." Glancing around for somewhere to sit, Monty spotted the base of a large stone pillar, and motioned to it. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

 

[Geovanna Adler-Cade]

The Hufflepuff let the professor lead her away, feeling pathetic as she weren't able to help clear up the mess she'd made, even if she did feel a little better physically because of it. Waiting to hear what she was going to have to do to make up for it, she glanced up at him when his first thought was that she could have been injured instead. It had never been something the fourth year had considered, her love for getting involved with anything had never been hindered by the thought of physical pain. Geo followed his motion, taking a seat awkwardly at the bottom of the pillar as she wondered just how much was safe to tell him. So she told him everything. From her friends and what they meant to her, to how she'd barely seen them at all last year but finally had the chance to make things right over the holidays. She left out the bit about their being a party for the students, only because she didn't want it to come back to Lizzie, it hadn't been her fault at all. She continued on, telling him about the situation with her friends and how one of them had given an ultimatum, and the other one had taken it. It seemed so trivial, she knew that, she knew she could be fine again but right now it felt like the most difficult thing in the world. With lessons from last year and Quidditch and the clubs, Geo had been trying to balance everything and here she was, about to pick it all back up again. She was exhausted and while she felt as though she'd been capable to handle everything she had going on, the addition of being left alone had made it so much worse.
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[Monty Pendleton]

When Monty asked a student to tell him what was going on, they rarely gave him an open, straightforward answer. Thus as he sat next to Geo, watching the unexpected torrent of grief pour out of her, it was all he could do to keep up. He could tell by the way she segued easily from one problem to the next that all of this had been revolving around her head since it happened. Was Monty the first person she'd talked to? Geo had always struck him as having more friends than she had the time to attend, but perhaps he had been wrong. The loss of Jess and Leila, though presumably not permanent, appeared to have hit her incredibly hard. Monty let Geo finish uninterrupted. There was a momentary pause while he pieced together the pieces of story she had given him, and tried to decide where on earth to begin. Then he said, "You know, Geo, I'm quite amazed. You might just be the most loyal friend those girls could have. Plenty of people, many of them older than you, would have walked away the minute things got tough, but... here you are, still fighting to be by their side." Monty knew what had happened to Jess, and could only imagine the sort of strain it would put on anybody's friendship. "You have surpassed all reasonable expectation; and at some point, you have to take a step back and turn that caring nature toward yourself. It's very, very easy to get wrapped up in your own sadness and forget that grief affects everybody differently. Some people need to spend more time with friends; others have to be alone. You are a terrific friend. Perhaps, at the moment, your friends are simply dealing with their grief the best way they know how. But let me tell you something: Good friends are few and hard to come by. One day, be it tomorrow, next week, or next year, they might just realise how important you are. In the meantime, why not focus on looking after yourself, hm? Er - preferably in a slightly less destructive way." He raised an eyebrow, mouth twisting into a smile. "The most important person in your life is you. It isn't as selfish as it sounds."

 

[Geovanna Adler-Cade]

By the time Geo had finished speaking she was out of breath, the waves of the last twelve months boiling down to this moment, sat beside a professor she trusted. With her own perspective she'd lost sight of how far she'd come, focused only instead on what she were incapable of doing. It was true she felt as though she'd done everything she could, and how far was she to put herself out there for others that weren't going to make the same efforts for her. She couldn't keep holding on to them the way she had been, and she nodded as she realised she needed to accept that she wasn't perhaps what either of them needed. She glanced sideways at the man when he tried to make a joke, she usually found his mannerisms entertaining and light hearted, but that morning there wasn't much that was going to be able to pull her out of pit in her mind. She glanced back down at the floor, bringing her knees up so she could rest her arms on them, considering how utterly odd that sentence was. A million thoughts swam through her head, trying to find some logical conclusion that would make things right again. "I just wanted to help," she said feebly. She didn't know what else to say. What was there? Geo would have to return to her usual day to day life and pretend that it didn't matter that she were hurting, and she would have to take a step back and work even harder to distract herself. The blonde sighed, wondering if she were going to have to continue her trip to the Great Hall that morning or whether her presence wouldn't be missed if she just stayed up the dormitories. If she were going to have to start doing things because it was what she wanted, what she wanted more than anything was to sleep, and not have to face the bright eyed students that would no doubt be lingering around, but the last she she wanted was to compromise her grades she'd worked so hard on up until now. "Last year Jess missed so many of her classes. Is she going to be able to catch up?" she asked, however wondering more for her own benefit than the Gryffindors. Perhaps she could still stay afloat without spending every waking moment nestled in her books, and finally find something outside of studying and Quidditch that would be make her happy.
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[Monty Pendleton]

Monty knew Geo only wanted to help, and there was little he could say to comfort her. She would discover in her own time, through experience, the best way she could help her friends; and she would learn that this was often taking care of herself, first and foremost. "I'm sure she will, if she's willing to apply herself," Monty said. He'd seen many students catch up after a lost year, and he'd also seen many stumble. The professors could only do so much to help; ultimately, the pupil's success hinged on how hard they were willing to work. Suddenly Monty frowned. "What are you doing in here at this time of the morning, anyway? Have you had anything to eat?"

 

[Geovanna Adler-Cade]

If she could make up the grades required, the idea of not having to spend so much time working on them during the day was one she was open to. "I'm usually awake this early," she admitted. If she wasn't running around the fields with Ursula, on a day like today, she would have headed down before breakfast to read. She knew she wasn't academic, nor smart, and the only way she'd made it this far was because she'd been doing twice as much to keep up. Taking that as her cue to leave, no doubt the Professor too had business to attend to, or whatever else the adults did in the school when they weren't teaching, Geo scooped herself up and turned to the man beside her and shook her head. Glancing around the room it was as though she had never even been here. So far, Professor Pendleton hadn't given her detention nor revoked any points, and she was quite eager to keep it that way. He reminded her of some of the adults from her childhood, and it was comforting to know that there were still some that looked out for the best interests of the students. "I should go." she said, "Thank you." She didn't know what she was going to do just yet but she had other routes to consider.
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