Closed A Captain's Lament

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis hadn't considered that they might lose to Ravenclaw for even a moment. Ravenclaw had just felt like the stepping stone to the important match, probably against Slytherin. But now they had lost, and had lost any chance at getting the cup. Louis only had one year as captain, and he already knew it wasn't going to matter. He knew he probably should have spoken to the team, given them some encouraging words, but he didn't have any. He had grabbed his broom and flown off, flying straight to the cliffs where he could be alone. He sat down and sighed, staring over at the lake. He was a failure, and everyone knew it now.

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene had admittedly spent a lot of his time in the stands for the match trying to avoid Celia's eye, but he didn't miss Louis' abrupt departure from the pitch after the game ended. He'd lost plenty of games on the team over the years, so he knew it didn't feel great, but he had to imagine it felt a lot worse now that Louis was captain.

It'd taken a minute to track down where Louis had landed but Rene eventually made his way over to were Louis seemed to be brooding on the cliffs, lingering awkwardly near him for a moment before deciding he might as well sit down. It wasn't like Louis didn't know he was there considering he probably could have spotted him coming since he left the stands.

"So uh. Good game. Got some goals in," he offered weakly, glancing at Louis before deciding it was better to join him at staring out into the lake instead.

 

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis saw René coming but didn't look at him. He wasn't sure he wanted his friend right now. But he also didn't want him to go away. He grumbled when René gave him some pitying comments, glaring at him from the corner of his eye. "Shut up, it sucked." He said. "You know it sucked. You'd hate it if your team lost like this." He said, frowning. "If you're just going to do that Hufflepuff 'we all did great' bullsh*t you can leave again."

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene could only grimace and shrug when Louis snapped at him. He hadn't exactly been planning to mention that Gryff had missed goals than they'd scored, but clearly Louis was aware. "Yeah, probably," he agreed, deciding now was not the time to mention he'd never actually had his team loose since he'd become captain, a fact that he mentally acknowledged with pride and a looming sense of dread.

"Captaining not so easy in the end, I guess. It really feels like everything is your fault now, right?" He offered instead. It wasn't all the often Rene felt like he was in a position to offer some advice, and even though he knew Louis was bummed out right now, it did feel kind of nice for once to be the one who 'knew stuff'. "Like, maybe if I'd told everyone this, or recommended that, we wouldn't have taken so many hits or we would have scored faster, I get it," he said, picking idly at some grass on the ground. Honestly, Rene almost envied Louis having a co-captain, as much as he was pleased to be able to attribute the cup last year to just himself (and the team, of course), but at least when things went wrong, Louis could share the blame out a little.

 

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis nodded, looking over at the water. "I should have done more practices, maybe, pushed them harder. I don't know." He said, pulling up one knee and propping his chin on it. "I expected us to beat Ravenclaw easy." He said quietly, admitting it. "I never thought- oh god René we're going to be the laughing stock of the school." He groaned, closing his eyes for a moment. "Why did I ever want this?"

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene couldn't help but match Louis' posture, pull his knees up and slinging an arm over them to prop up his head. "I mean, maybe the team would have done worse if you pushed them harder, who knows," he said. It was weird seeing Louis so down, the weird conversation about Caleb last year aside, Rene was far more used to seeing Louis so much more self-assured. Then again, maybe being captain was that much harder for him than Rene.

"Could be worse right, could have lost to Hufflepuff," he said wryly. It was half a joke, but he also couldn't help taking a dig at him. He knew everyone had underestimated Hufflepuff last year, had underestimated him too as a captain, and it had felt pretty could shoving that in everyone's face even if it meant he was going to spend all of this year proving that handle just been a fluke, so it felt right to give Louis that little reminder. "Nothing's guaranteed in Quidditch I guess. Maybe I was just making it look easy," he added, pulling up some grass with his free hand so he didn't have to gauge how the comment had landed. Louis had told him he didn't want to hear all his nice guy Hufflepuff stuff after all.

 

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis shrugged when René said he might have made the team do worse if he pushed them harder. He doubted it, he was pretty sure that was what got Slytherin to always win. But Louis groaned and glared at René when he made a comment about Hufflepuff. "We did, last year! And you're the reigning champions now and I know you know that so stop it with the humble bragging." He snapped, before putting his hands over his face. He wasn't sure what he wanted from René, but this wasn't it. When the boy spoke again, Louis peeked through his fingers in disbelief. "Are you trying to be an *sshole now?" He asked, voice slightly muffled by his hands. "Oh my god is that what I usually sound like?" He asked, dropping his hands. "Is that it? Are you kicking me when I'm down in some sort of weird revenge for being arrogant?"

 

[Rene Tofilau]

“I’m not-“ Rene started before cutting himself off. Maybe he was bragging, but it felt like no one had ever really noticed or cared before. “I’m not trying to but you make it pretty easy, man,” he said, aware it came out a little petulantly. “Maybe you lost cause you hadn’t learnt your lesson yet,” he said pointedly, deciding it was best not to comment about how Louis usually sounded. Considering the answer was likely yes. “I’m not saying I’m enjoying seeing you lose or be sad about it or whatever, you are my friend, man. But maybe you could get your head out of your arse for two seconds for once and see that maybe there are other good players and good teams and good captains at this school besides like you and Celia,” he said, crossing his arms. “And you know. If you ever wanted some advice…” he added, trailing off.

 

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis stared at his friend when he said he made it pretty easy, then added that maybe he hadn't learned his lesson yet. Louis scoffed. "And what lesson is that?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. Then René went on, and Louis finally got what was bothering his friend. He sat up straight, staring at him before letting out a disbelieving laugh. "Really? That's what this is about?" He asked him. "I never said the only good captains at school are me and Celia. I never even thought that- if you think that's what I think, then that's on you." He said, shaking his head. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm f*cking miserable right now because I lost my first game as captain five seconds ago. Now is not the time to ask for some pats on the head from me." He snapped. "I don't need your advice, we both know you only won last year because your seeker got lucky." He added spitefully.

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene frowned as Louis scoffed at him, something hot and angry tightening in his chest. He hadn't come here to kick Louis when he was down but did he always have to be so smug about everything? "You just said that you thought of Ravenclaw as a stepping stone!" He said, whipping out a hand to wave it empathically. "You don't think anyone else is a real threat, you're so busy thinking about yourself half the time. Would it really kill you to acknowledge that maybe I'm a better player than you? I've been playing longer, I've been captain longer," he said, ticking off on his fingers. "Yeah well maybe you lost cause you were too busy thinking about yourself than actually captaining your team," he snapped, making to stand up. If he'd thought Louis losing a game as captain might have cooled-off his ego for once, he'd been mistaken, but at least it was clear Rene's sympathy wasn't wanted here.

 

[Professor Louis Alcott]

Louis threw up his hands. "Yes, Ravenclaw! Not Hufflepuff! Everyone knows Ravenclaw sucks, they even struggle to fill up their team at tryouts." He said, wondering why René was taking it so personally. "I never said that stuff about you or your team." But even now, Louis couldn't help scoffing a bit at the idea of René being a better player than him. "Just because you did something longer, doesn't mean you're better." He said, though it hurt to hear René say such things. Louis winced when René accused him of thinking about himself too much. So much for being cheered up by his friend. "Maybe you wouldn't be so miserable if you stopped caring about what I think so much and just started doing what you want to do." He said though he knew it wasn't nearly enough. "It's so stupid." He added, just rambling to hurt him now. "You wanna know why I never said you're a good captain? Because I think you're mediocre at best, but I knew if I told you that you'd be upset because you care too much about what everyone thinks. But also because you know it's true." He gestured rudely. "And I guess you're a sh*tty friend now too."

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene scrubbed an exasperated hand over his head, somehow still surprised about how dense Louis could be. “It’s not just about me or Hufflepuff, it’s about your whole damn attitude that stinks,” he said, throwing up his hands in frustration. “You don’t live in a world where your team always wins and everyone just falls at your feet wanting to go out with you, even if you seem to think you do. Real world means you gotta lose some time,” he snapped, pushing off the ground, the extra height over Louis making him feel better even as Louis’ words stung. “Well excuse me for giving a f*ck about what one of my best friend’s thinks! Especially considering it seems like you forget I’m there half the time,” he said, annoyed to hear his voice rising. He’d always quietly worried Louis thought these sort of things about him, but it was another thing entirely to actually hear him say it. “Yeah, well. I’m the one with the championship team. And I actually managed to ask out the Slytherin I’m in love with instead of sulking about it like a 12 year old,” he snapped. “Must have learnt all my sh*tty friend skills from you,” he added, stomping away down the grass and back towards the school. If Louis wanted to miserable on his own, fine by him.