Closed A Bundle of Joy

[Nikko Blackwood]

Nikko had thought he knew what being tired felt like. He had long practices that left him nearly crawling through the door on his way home, and plenty of late nights followed by early mornings. But none of those experiences came close to his first few weeks as a father. He sat on the living room couch and reached out to rock the bassinet that was set up next to it. His body felt impossibly heavy as he rocked and rocked his daughter without a second thought. He could feel himself closing his eyes, it was just so quiet and peaceful. You were supposed to sleep while the baby slept, right? He was pretty sure he heard that piece of advice before. And it was so quiet, well maybe a little too quiet. As if he had been shocked Nikko was upright again and and placed a hand on Juliet's chest and held his breath as he waited for her tiny chest to rise. When it inevitably did, and she squirmed slightly in her sleep Nikko let out a relieved sigh and fell back into the couch. "I know we're not supposed to wake up sleeping babies but this seems like a lot." he called out to Aubrey who he heard from somewhere else in the apartment.

 

[Aubrey Blackwood]

Aubrey had been moving on autopilot. Being pregnant, having a baby, then having said baby around the house, it was all varying levels of exhausting and she had no idea how people did this. She'd at least started getting a little bit of working out back into her routine- she'd gone into very light ones while midway through pregnancy, but she'd had to stop for the last three months. Now, she was trying to slowly dip back into things- even if that just meant stretches and a light fifteen minute set twice a day. She wanted to be back in shape for the next season, worried she'd be replaced if she was away for too long.

But those were worries for another time. Right now, she was fixing an easy pasta dinner for her and Nikko while he sat with Juliet. She walked back into the living room, two plates in hand, just as he called out to her. She chuckled, knowing the bags under her eyes were at least as bad as his. "Don't jinx it, Nikko, or she'll be up before we can eat," She countered, falling onto the couch beside him. She held out his plate. "Come on, quickly now. Before she senses we're busy."

 

[Nikko Blackwood]

Nikko could have wept real tears as Aubrey walked into the living room with dinner in hand, but he was too tired. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you." he said reverently as she handed him a plate. He took a bite and leaned back again. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he had his first bite and fought the urge to shovel it into his face without taking a breath. "Have I told you lately how perfect you are?" he said playfully, laying on his appreciation a little thick. He chuckled at her comment about the baby some how sensing when they were in the middle of something and choosing that moment to wake up. "I know, I know." he said as he took a few more bites. "I just miss her when she's asleep." he admitted with a weak smile.

 

[Aubrey Blackwood]

Aubrey chuckled, making herself eat slowly in copy of him. "You showed it when you let me take that nap earlier," She countered. She gave him an easy smile, shifting so she could press a little more against him. "Eat your food, then you go lay down for a bit. I can take her- maybe after you've been down for long enough I'll bring her in and let her cuddle you awake," she offered. A few more bites in, she spoke again. "She is pretty cute- when she's not crying. And she does adore her da." She teased him gently.

 

[Nikko Blackwood]

Nikko focused on his chewing and nodded vaguely when Aubrey suggested he take a nap next. A nap did sound good but even as tired as he was he felt like all he had done was rest for the past several months. It had been nice to help out around the house, dote on his wife, get the baby's room ready but now that she was here, it was hard for him to wrap his head around what he was supposed to do with himself once things eventually calmed down. But for now it was Aubrey's turn to have his full support. He never got to go to enough of her games before and he was excited to have the time now, even if he'd be showing up wearing a baby carrier. "Do you know when you're going to get back to practice?" he asked finally after being lost in thought for a while.

 

[Aubrey Blackwood]

Aubrey sat with Nikko in the comfortable silence, savoring it while it lasted. She finished her food first, and was just moving to get up when Nikko spoke. She paused and set her plate on the side table. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." She shifted a little in her seat. "I got a call this morning, they want me back in practice at the start of next month." She peeked up at him, gauging his reaction. "And honestly, I... have been considering finding a new career path." She admitted, looking at her hands as she folded them in her lap. "It feels... almost wrong to me, turning around and just going back to it all, when... when you aren't doing it with me." She peeked at him, gauging his reaction.

 

[Nikko Blackwood]

Nikko knew he was asking a question that would hurt his feelings no matter what the answer was. But when Aubrey said they wanted her back in a month he felt the air get knocked out of him. "Oh." he said and did his best to hid his surprise. Unfortunately his best was actually very bad. But when she continued he was shaking his head before she even finished. "No, no, honey don't ever doubt yourself because of me. You've worked so hard." he insisted. "I was never able to support you the way I should have. It's your time to shine now." Nikko spoke from the heart and he hoped she believed him. Yes, he still had dark moments when his self doubt clung to him but that was his burden to work through. "Only if it's what you really want." he added softly, just in case this was a serious thing she was considering. "But don't worry about me." he said again and reached over to squeeze her hand.