Closed Someone Worth Staying For

Susie Lagowski

Susie Lagowski

don’t be suspicious
 
Messages
346
OOC First Name
Clairey
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Too Young to Care
Wand
Curly 17 1/2 Inch Unyielding Sycamore Wand with Vampire Blood Core
Age
12
Susie sat cross-legged in front of the pumpkin patch, an open sketchbook in her lap. She had been meaning to draw them ever since they’d started to sprout, and now that they were fully grown, it wouldn’t be long before somebody came along and harvested the lot. The trouble was, she couldn’t focus. Every time she tried to sketch the complicated mass of leaves, her mind would wander back to Tori, and she would suddenly realise she’d drawn a bunch of flat geometric shapes.

After a while she gave up and began to write.

I don’t know what to do, Tori. It’s like you’re already gone. I keep thinking maybe if I say the right thing, I can make you stay, but you don’t want to stay, do you? You don’t want to stay with me. You’re going away and you’ll make new friends and you won’t even remember me. I’d do anything for you, Tori. Please don’t go.
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She wiped away her tears before they could drip all over her pumpkins. So much for Susie never cries. It just… hurt. It hurt in her chest and her stomach and she didn’t know whether to be angry or upset or both. No matter how hard she tried, no matter what she gave, she would never be someone worth staying for.
 
Eoghan hadn't really said anything about how he felt about Tori leaving to anyone yet. After the Gryffindor had told the group her plans it was as though Eoghan had reverted back to how he'd been last year, quieter and unsure. He'd been trying to focus on his work to distract himself, and was currently on his way back up to the castle when he spotted a familiar blonde amongst the pumpkin patch.

Susie had been there too, at the group picnic, although she hadn't been particularly glad to see him and it hadn't escaped his notice that she'd pulled her candy away. Then again, Eoghan really hadn't had a positive interaction with Susie at all, had he? Whenever they hung out he thought the Hufflepuff was more interested in messing around than taking her time here seriously, but perhaps that was all a facade if she was here trying not to cry. He didn't want to assume it was about Tori, but he would have been blind to think it wasn't possible either. "I didn't know you liked to watercolor too," he'd paused a few feet away, glancing down at her artwork. ​
 
Susie quickly drew her knees up to her chest, sandwiching her sketchbook with her body. She didn’t mind Eoghan seeing her stupid sketches. It was the writing she was worried about. Had he seen any of that?

She wiped her face again, forcing a smile. “Yeah, neither did I,” she said. “Guess Tori’s been giving me a lot of inspiration.” She knew Eoghan was close with Tori, too. It was one of the reasons Susie considered the Ravenclaw a friend, even though he was a smug little twerp who drove her mad. If Tori saw good in him, he couldn’t be all that bad. Plucking a blade of grass, Susie said, “What about you? You OK?”
 
The moment Susie mentioned Tori, he knew what the Hufflepuff was going through. Or at least, he thought he had a pretty good idea. Tori was more or less friends with everyone and even if Eoghan only considered one or two around the school to be close to him, he could understand that it wasn't the case for Tori. Eoghan was glad Susie wasn't looking at him when she asked if he was okay. "Not really," he replied truthfully. Even if he didn't particularly want to go into it with her, heck he hadn't even gotten into it yet with Lilith, he didn't need to be dishonest.

Eoghan didn't feel like getting his trousers dirty by sitting in the grass so instead he crouched down beside Susie, balancing his forearms on his thighs. How on earth could he expect Susie to open to him if he wouldn't to her? Did he even want her to? Would it make things easier to less painful to talk about it, or would it just make them both more confused? "She'll be back though," Maybe it would just be best to focus on the good parts, "and when she does, she'll have a lot of stories to tell us." Susie was annoying, but Eoghan knew what it was like too well to lose a close friend and she didn't deserve to be sad for that.​
 
“That’s what she says,” Susie mumbled, flicking away the grass stalk. “Doesn’t mean she will.” Her mum had promised to come back, too, and where was she? Off with another man, probably - a better man - raising kids who were smarter and prettier and better-behaved. Then again, she might have promised no such thing. The older Susie got, the more she recognised her dad’s words of reassurance for what they were. Lies. Her mum had never wanted her. If she had, she’d be here. As for her dad - well, sometimes Susie wondered if he wanted her very much either.

Was it Susie? Had she done something wrong? She’d tried to be a good friend to Tori, but if there was something inherently wrong with her, then she’d never stood a chance, had she? All the kindness and humor in the world couldn’t make up for a damaged personality. “You’ll be OK. You have Lilith. No-one gets me like Tori. I thought… I just thought…” She sighed. “I don’t know. It’s stupid. Anyway, who cares? She can do what she wants - I’m happy for her.”
 
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