“You know this is the Dark Part of the Alley right? People don’t just come here on a normal shopping trip,” Josh reminded his mother for what felt like the tenth time in the last ten minutes. If Grandpa Austiin could see her here he would be so upset, he didn’t like any of them in Bleak Street and it was bad enough that Josh was getting involved in all the shady sh*t they did as a family, as if they Hayes’ have ever been squeaky clean. Not to mention with his stupid dad in the Ministry, well, it’s not like anyone even knew they were related, he certainly didn’t care. “Whatever you need here you should let me get it, it’ll be easier anyway.”
"I come here for a normal shopping trip." Keye couldn't help but snort as her son had once again seen fit to remind her that she was in the Dark Part of the Alley. It was such a silly name really, and it wasn't like this was her first time in the area. She had been shopping in this area for as long as she'd owned The Runaway Hideout. It was just the only time that Josh was hearing about it. It wasn't like she would bring him when she would shop here after all. She wasn't even sure she'd mentioned it to Felix and Lani. But she was a frequent enough traveller in this part of the world. Really, the only difference right now was that she was pregnant. She'd only found out yesterday morning and hadn't told anyone yet. Even after all this years, there was a lingering fear within her from that one circumstance. She'd told herself repeatedly yesterday that she managed it once, she could do it again. But also, Dexter... she liked to think Dexter was different. She hadn't decided yet if she should tell him or Josh first really. And in the process of putting it off, decided that she absolutely must do some shopping today. Only to be stalked by her own son. "No, the sellers don't know you and I'll get better discounts than you brandishing your wand about," she said more amused while also bordering on exasperated.
Josh let out a frustrated sigh at his mother’s expense, running his fingers aggressively through his hair and throwing her a look that said he should be done with her. “You keep saying things like this but you’ve never had the best judgement in anything or anyone,” he reminded her, because he could say that since she was his mother and his father was a deadbeat piece of trash. And he’d stand by that. He looked around the alley with a frown. He wasn’t about to leave his worry slide even if she seeemd to be unfazed. Maybe he would have to have a conversation with Felix if this was going to continue. This was not place for his mother to be, Grandpa Austiin or no Grandpa Austiin. “You joke, but this place is full of trash people with trash morals and trash personalities, I should know,” he said, because he too was a trash person with trash morals and a bit of a trash personality.
“This place isn’t safe, and you’re old,” he reminded her again, in case she needed the reminder, which she clearly did because she was still walking. He loved his mother, truly, but she had a terrible radar for such things. She woulnd’t have had him if she’d a better one. “I’ll go get what you need, it’s fine. You don’t have to keep doing things like this on your own, I’m here now, let me deal with it.” He was going to make her let him deal with it, just because she’d shipped him off to America to avoid having to deal with him didn’t mean she was off the hook for the rest of her life. “Besides, I don’t need to brandish my wand to get the job done. Just—please, let me help.”
For someone who hadn't wanted anything to do with men for quite a while, Keye sure had a lot of men in her life. All of them were exasperated by her one way or the other. Felix and Lani had gotten used to it over the years of course. Her father, and whoever from her brothers who still cared, had grown up with her so they knew what she was like, especially after getting pregnant straight out of school. Josh, since he'd just recently become an adult, was starting to learn just how... difficult... she could be. "Sure honey," she said, amusement all over her tone as he reminded her about her judgment. Sometimes, she wasn't sure if Josh was reminding her or reminding himself. She definitely did roll her eyes though when he tried to remind her what the Alley was like. "I also know love," she said, nearly snorting. She'd only been coming here for the last... decade and a half probably? She was sure that she was a familiar face to the locals by now just as a lot of them were familiar to her. "I also have quite the trash morals and personality, I assure you." It was sort of amusing how Josh liked to put her on a pedestal as if she hadn't grown up surrounded by different influences. Not to mention owning a shady pub. How did he think she kept the pub afloat for so long?
"Old?" she turned to look at her son affronted, before she marched off to the first vendor she recognized. It was easy to ignore Josh for a bit as she haggled and nagged her way through to a price she wanted for the items she wanted. It was a well-practiced dance between her and some of the sellers by now really. She was a regular after all. And so she walked from one stall to the next. And to the next. All the while Josh kept talking. "Well, I'm not doing things on my own since you're here - carry this for me will you love thanks," she said handing him her loot and trusting him to not drop it before she carried on to the next stall. "You are helping by carrying my bags," she reminded him with a tut. Another negotiation before she paid the greasy wizard and took her purchase in exchange before turning back to her son to hand him the goods again. "You wouldn't make a pregnant lady carry her bags now will you?" An innocent smile on her face. Not a slip at all, her son was just too easy.
Josh blinked. He fully stared at his mother for a full beat, mouth slightly open in… he wasn’t quite sure he’d heard her right, well in fact he was sure he hadn’t, because his brain hadn’t decided to take it in quite yet. The crowd around them, the sketchy, seedy alley-goers faded into distant background noise. “…Wait. Wait.” His voice pitched higher than he was used to, with his hands full of her bags as she shoved them into his arms. “Pregnant?”He asked in disbelief, because he really couldn’t believe it. He thought his mother had learned a lesson after his no good, good for nothing father, but apparently that wasn’t the case. He didn’t know if he was angry, or livid.
“You’re pregnant?” for some reason he was finding it incredibly difficult to stop repeating himself, as if saying it enough times would somehow change the meaning of the word. He shooed away a couple of nosy parkers, who had no business listening in on their conversation. He turned back to his mother with narrowed eyes. “With who’s baby? Oh my merlin, please don’t say Dexter. Actually no, say Dexter, say it’s Dexter, because I swear to Merlin if it’s someone worse- ” he clutched the bags even tighter, white knuckling them in annoyance. “This is why I don’t let you out alone! This right here! Because you’re out here bargaining with shady street vendors and dropping bombs on me like this!”
Then, quietly, he spiralled. “How far along are you? Do you even know? Have you been eating right? Why are you carrying anything? Why am I just now hearing about this? What the hell- ” he shook his head, trying to get his head around this information that he really didn’t need today. “Nope. Nope, I’m not carrying your bags anymore. I’m escorting you home. This shopping trip is over, Mother. I am officially revoking your street privileges.”
It was very, very hard not to laugh at his poor son who was obviously having a lot of trouble processing this information. "Yep," she said, lips popping at his first mention of the whole situation. His declaration was of course louder than her own so some had offered her congratulations to which she grinned at. "Yes dear, do try to keep up," she said amused when he asked again if she was pregnant. Even the greasy wizard and sketchy alley customers were quite amused by the outburst. If she weren't quite the regular here, she would be worried about the looks they were getting. But pregnant as she was, her wand was just peeking a tiny bit because no one really came to the Alley unprepared. It was a little bit funny though how Josh was trying to shoo away "well-wishers".
"It's Felix," she said without missing a beat. "No, wait, maybe it's Lani," she said after a pause because her son was being idiotic. "Of course, it's Dexter," she said in a more snappy tone that had no real heat. "Hear that? You're shady," she told one of the vendors conspiratorially, and they gave a shark-like grin in response. "No. No. Yes. You're carrying things. And I just found out yesterday," she answered his questions as they came although the last one may have been a little more defensive. It wasn't like she intended to keep it from him! And Merlin where ever did her son get being a worrywart from? (Clearly from her but she would never admit to that.) "Of course it's over, we got everything I needed," she said as she walked towards him and took hold of his arm by the elbow. "I was just waiting for you," Keye said with a shrug and waited for her son to lead her out of the Alley and Bleak Street. She'd done enough shopping to last a couple of months and Josh had made enough of a scene from one end of the Alley to the other while she was buying from her regulars. Which meant that everyone now probably knew he was her son so she can now have him run her errands next time since being visibly pregnant in the Alley really wasn't a good idea. It had been quite the productive trip indeed.
Josh felt every single one of the muscles in his body locking up when his mother kept talking like this was normal, because it absolutely was not. Felix?? Lani?? She was joking - he hoped she was joking - because if not, he was about to lay down in the middle of Bleak street and let one of these shady vendors roll him into an early grave. “Don’t do that!” he hissed, completely appalled, as she teased him about whose baby it was. “My heart can’t take it, I’m like three seconds away from needing a healer!” he complained, holding his hand to his chest as if his rotten mother was going to care at all. Josh was just fine as a single child, she didn’t have to go complicating matters by bringing in another baby, and how did she knew whoever the father was was any better than his good for nothing rotten father.
He shot one of the vendors a dirty look when they went to make a comment, and he was gratified that the comment wasn’t made. He didn’t care what it was going to be, only that they were going to say it. His mother was conspiring with these people like this was some sort of pub night, like she had a bunch of trivia questions she needed them to answer. Everyone was still staring, it felt like, and Josh had never wanted to hex a crowd of people more than he did right in this moment. He was still grumbling about the parentage (Felix or Lanithro) when she latched onto him like she was some sweet, defenceless little lady instead of the absolute chaos gremlin she was trying to ruin his life. His brain was short-circuiting and his feet were barely already moving because what else could he do? Abandon her? In this condition? Not a chance.
“You were waiting for me?? You were baiting me!” he accused, but there wasn’t much point to a fight out here, and she knew he wasn’t really angry, just worried. She had a terrible taste in men after all. “And for the record, next time you need something, you’re not coming, and I’m bringing backup. Like - like a whole posse. I’m talking Lani, Felix, maybe even Grandpa Austiin with a chainsaw if he has to. You’re on bed rest. Starting now.” He still couldn’t believe it. He refused to. “…I can’t believe I’m gonna have a sibling that’s younger than some of my socks.”
So dramatic. Keye was blaming Isaiah's genes - perks of him not being able to contradict her because she was most definitely not going to admit that Josh's dramatic tendencies were most definitely coming from her. Still, it was hard not to be equal parts amused and exasperated by her own son. He's clearly been an only child for too long. It would definitely be interesting to see him as a big brother - never mind that he was going to be a brother for the first time at the age when she'd already had him. "Baiting you. I did no such thing," she said amused, okay maybe just a little. But he was the one who'd already starting kicking up a fuss as soon as they entered the Alley so this whole thing really was just a little bit more attention-grabbing and now everyone knew who he was. Besides, this wouldn't nearly have worked if he wasn't as dramatic as he was. "Of course I'm not coming, you'll be doing all the shopping for the next nine months you know. I'm hardly going to be waddling here when I'm the size of the whale," she said as a matter of fact before she started dragging him to walk because if he didn't start moving his feet towards a decent apparition point, they'd be stuck here a lot longer than she wanted. Still, she did give him a comforting pat on the arm as they walked away from the Alley. "Don't worry dear, we'll make sure to buy you new socks after your baby sister's born." She wasn't sure if she was having a boy or a girl yet - it was too early for that. But she couldn't help but think that her eldest son would be funnier as an older brother to a baby sister than a baby brother. Just a feeling. She couldn't wait.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
