Your Happy Ending's Up To You

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Taking off his engagement ring before picking up the girls from the train had been torturous, but Kyle wanted to have this conversation together, as a family. It was tucked snugly in his shirt pocket, sitting ready and waiting to return to its rightful place on his hand as soon as they had told the girls the good news. This was important, as much as he wanted October and April to know right away, he didn't want to relegate such important news to a letter. This was a discussion to have together, as a family, now that a commitment had been made. He knew aspects of their family had been difficult for October to adjust to, and wanted to make sure she knew she was still a part of everything going on. Loving Matt and April didn't make Kyle love his daughter any less.

With the whole family seated around the table, Kyle knew this was the time. They had talked about how to handle this and Kyle glanced at Matt, giving him a small nod. "Girls, Matt and I have some good news we'd like to tell you." He smiled warmly, reaching for where Matt's hand was sitting next to his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

[October Alcott]

October didn't know anymore if she hated coming home to April and Matt's presences. At first it had been painful and frustrating, and difficult to get used to. They weren't terrible to have around though, Matt was... fine, he didn't really do anything or bother her at all, and April was... well, she was a lot, but the two were slowly reaching something closer to the friendship they had had as children. It was strange, but it was a start. Or it had been at school, at least. At home it was harder to want to be nice to April. The way Dad doted over her was sickening, and it wrenched at October's heart to realise that he had never treated her like that. October always just needed to be working harder, seeing a new tutor, pushing just a little bit more to be just a little bit better. In Dad's eyes she was never perfect the way she was, like April. The inequal treatment had always burned, and in the past October had resented April so much, for always somehow managing to be better than she was. The older she got though, the more October was starting to realise the only person responsible for the way October felt was her father. Seeing April in a different light cast her father in a different light, and October was beginning to realise that her stepfamily wasn't the real reason she hated coming home. She felt tense and uncomfortable at dinner, hoping to eat as quickly as possible and slip away, so she didn't have to be around Dad and April for long. October was mid-bite when Dad spoke up and she lifted her head, looking up at him curiously. "Mmm?" She asked ungracefully, hurrying to swallow her mouthful. It was still strange hearing him speak English at home, but October was getting used to it, and she had given up her spiteful use of French around Matt and April. "What is it?"

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Having the girls back home was amazing, and Matt was very excited to share the news with them. He had to admit to himself that he was also a bit nervous, though. Mostly about October's reaction. He had little doubt that April would be delighted by the news, but October might be a bit upset. That was a possiblity they had to deal with, and Matt was hoping he could talk to October alone if she had some trouble with the news. He wanted to clear the air between them and do anything needed to make her feel more comfortable.

As they were all seated at the table, Matt could almost imagine they were married already. The girls sitting next to each other really looked like they could be sisters in some ways, even if they were wildly different. Matt felt butterflies in his stomach as Kyle announced they had something to tell them. He squeezed Kyle's hand in return, then cleared his throat. "Uh, yes." He said, nervously pushing his glasses up. "You see... we..." The words seemed to die in his throat. He had to force them out. "I asked Kyle to marry me. He said yes." He said quickly, glancing between their faces. It was a simplified version of what had really happened, but they would doubtlessly hear the whole story later.

 

[April Ward]

After her talk with October near the end of last school year, April had been hopeful for their time at home together. She had thought that maybe things would be better, that maybe they would be like sisters now. But things were still strained. She didn't think October disliked her, but there was something that was bothering her that she wouldn't say. April had been excited to see Kyle again and be at home with him and her dad, but she was also worried about October. She just didn't know what to do about it. If she asked, she had the feeling October would deny anything was making her feel bad, even if April thought it seemed pretty obvious. There were signs that October was accepting them, like the fact that she wasn't speaking French anymore, but she still didn't seem happy to share her house with April and her father.

As Kyle said they had something to say, April remembered his letter to her a few months ago. He had said there would 'maybe' be news. Back then, she had hoped there would be a puppy or other cute pet waiting for her, but that hadn't been the case so far. Now seemed a weird time to announce that sort of thing too, so she had to accept that probably wasn't what he meant. It was her own dad that finally told them what was going on, and April gasped at his words. "Wow, really?!" She asked, jumping up from her seat. "Really really?" She beamed. This had been what she had hoped for for so long now! She made her way around the table to hug them both in turn. "When's the wedding? Are we bridesmaids? What kind of cake will you get?" She asked eagerly, wanting all the answers at once.

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle didn't know if he would have been able to find the words to tell the girls how happy he was, and was relieved that Matt had agreed to be the one to actually tell them. Kyle would have managed somehow to both gush for an hour and not actually remember to tell them the important part, he was sure of it. Hearing Matt say the words still sent a thrill through Kyle every time. They were getting married. "I should mention that I was going to ask him the same day!" He cut in, grinning brightly. "You don't get to steal my thunder on this twice..."

Kyle was nervous to hear October's reaction... she had seemed more accepting of Matt and April recently, but he knew this was still a touchy subject for her, and hopefully she wouldn't be too hurt. Kyle didn't want to have to put off his marriage for October's feelings, but if she was too upset they may have to talk about it. It was easier to focus on April's reaction first, and Kyle smiled brightly at his stepdaughter, chuckling softly at her enthusiasm. "Really really!" He said happily, hugging April back tightly when she reached him. "We haven't chosen a date yet, but of course you'll be bridesmaids! You'll be the sweetest bridesmaid of all time, I'm sure of it." He said happily, patting April's hair. "I haven't thought about cake flavours yet, I don't suppose anyone here with a taste for sweet things would be able to help choose?" April's enthusiasm warmed Kyle's heart and made him hopeful for October's reaction, glancing at his daughter a little nervously.

 

[October Alcott]

October didn't know exactly what she had expected this news to be, but the words Matt said sent a shock through her. They were getting married. October couldn't do anything for a long moment but stare, heart slowly sinking through her stomach. Matt and April were going to be around forever. The realisation hit October like a bullet that it wasn't Matt and April she minded. It had never been Matt and April that she minded. It was the way Dad treated them, like they were perfect, could do no wrong, needed no improvement. No. It wasn't even that. It was the way Dad treated her. Nothing October did was ever, ever enough. She could work and work and work, studying things she hated until her hair was falling out with stress, and Dad would always want just that little bit more from her, there was always more imaginary extra credit she should have done, a slightly higher mark she could have gotten, something more she really should just have worked harder for. October would never be good enough for her father.

In a spasm of rage October threw her cutlery down, jumping to her feet, a gesture that though it made no real difference to her height, made her feel more prepared to confront her father. For the first time in her life October wasn't second-guessing herself, wasn't thinking and rethinking and overthinking every decision, trying to make sure he would approve of her. She was just acting, for herself, and it felt good. "I've HAD it with YOU!" She snapped, glaring directly in her father's eyes, her entire body shaking slightly with the adrenaline and anger rushing through her. "I'm so SICK of you treating THEM like THIS! APRIL will be the BEST bridesmaid in the world, of COURSE she will, because she can do NO wrong apparently! The first thing you did when you saw her after school was say how proud you were of her grades! Do you remember the first thing you said to ME?" October didn't even feel the tears starting to run down her face, tears of long-suppressed anger and jealousy and frustration. "You said you would get me another TUTOR, so I can do BETTER next year! You're NEVER proud of me! I got ALL O-S! Even in the subjects I HATE! I work SO HARD for you, ALL THE TIME, and you just tell me to be BETTER and BETTER and BETTER! I'll never be enough for you! I HATE YOU!" October choked and faltered for a moment, covering her mouth with her hand as a sob overtook her. A dam keeping back a lifetime of frustration and pain had broken now, and October didn't know what to do with all the things she hadn't let herself feel for almost sixteen long years. It was too much. October shoved herself away from the table, flipping her plate over in the process, smearing long-forgotten food all over the tablecloth. October took a shaky step back, then another, and then she was running, legs barely managing to carry her out of the dining room and halfway down the hallway before she collapsed, hunching over and shaking violently with heavy sobs.

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt looked from April to October at his declaration. He really wanted to make sure both girls were heard, even if their reactions may not be positive. April was delighted, as he had hoped for. Seeing his daughter so happy with the news made him happy. Seeing her talk to Kyle made him even happier. He hugged April, but over her shoulder looked at October. The older girl seemed stunned. He vaguely heard Kyle and April chat about bridesmaids and cake, but he focused on October's expression changing. His stomach sank. He knew this would be bad. He watched as she threw down her cutlery, opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by her voice. To his slight surprise, her anger was directed at Kyle rather than him. He had expected her to be upset about the wedding, but this was a deeper issue. Her words were spoken with emotion, and he could tell this was something she had been holding in for a long time. It wasn't just a reaction to the wedding. The news had simply triggered this. Her words hit home for him, and he instantly felt guilty. He had seen how Kyle treated October, how he pushed her and expected too much from her. But he hadn't wanted to say anything. Somehow, commenting on Kyle's parenting had felt like crossing a like. But now he knew that he had failed October by staying quiet. As she shouted the last words at her father, he could see emotion had overtaken her. Matt had to take action now. October probably didn't want to see Kyle at the moment, but she shouldn't be alone. "I'll talk to her." He said quietly, but he didn't wait for Kyle to respond before making his way to the hallway. Seeing October hunched over and sobbing broke his heart, and he kept his movements gentle as he approached her. Kneeling down next to her, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "October." He said softly. "I'm here for you. You were right, it hasn't been fair. I want to help you."

 

[April Ward]

April laughed with Kyle, happy to hear him say they could be bridesmaids. She did wonder why he only said she would be the sweetest bridesmaid. Surely, she could share that with October? But then he talked about cake flavors and she was distracted. At least, until October threw her cutlery down onto the table and started to yell. Taken aback, April stepped back slightly, her eyes wide as she looked at the older girl. October sounded so hurt, and so sad. At first April thought she was upset about them being here and her father getting married to Matt, but that didn't seem to be the case. Her anger was all directed at Kyle. Biting her lip, April looked between October and Kyle, feeling anxious. She hated conflicts like this, but she could tell October had been feeling this for a long time. Was it really true that Kyle treated her better? April hadn't heard him mention a tutor, but she had probably just missed it. It was a strange idea. October was so much smarter than April and got the best grades. Why would he be harder on her? As October shouted she hated Kyle, April hugged herself uncertainly. She watched her stepsister stalk off, and wondered if she should follow. Thankfully, her dad already did. He would fix this! He would! But that left April with Kyle. There was an uncomfortable silence in the air until April broke it. "We would both be the best bridesmaids." She said quietly.

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle hadn't expected October's reaction to be especially positive, but the explosion that followed their announcement was something he had never expected to hear from her. The pain in her voice was clear, and every word she was saying hit home like a dagger. Was that really the first thing he had said to her when he saw her? How could he be so cruel? He hadn't even realised. Kyle was so proud of his clever, brilliant, talented daughter, full to bursting with pride, how could he have done such an abysmal job as a father that she felt this way? He didn't have the strength to argue when Matt went after her, still filled with shock. As Matt left the room, Kyle slumped in his seat, pressing his face into his hands and taking some shaky breaths. How could he have done this? Kyle knew April's words hadn't been intended to but they stung too, crushing him along with everything October had said. "I know." He said quietly after a moment, speaking around the lump in his throat. "I'm... I'll talk to her." Even Kyle could hear the waver in his own voice as he got up slowly, heading towards the hallway.

 

[October Alcott]

October somehow felt pathetic and powerful at the same time, slumped on the floor of the hallway sobbing. She had done it. Every pent up frustration and pain she had felt at her father's hands in the last few years had finally been released, and she was free... whatever he did now, whatever he said, she had told him how she felt. She wasn't going to take it anymore. October almost didn't register Matt's presence at first, flinching at the hand on her shoulder but quickly relaxing when she realised whose it was. Gathering her strength she pushed herself up to sit properly, though wiping her eyes did nothing for the pent up tears still flowing from her. "I hate him." She croaked. "I wish I was your daughter. April's always so ha-happy..."

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

As Matt looked at the girl in front of him, he felt undeniable guilt. He know he had always gone easy on April, not being very good at disciplining. So when he saw Kyle with October a part of him had just assumed that was the way things were supposed to be. That he had been the one doing it wrong. But the way October was feeling now made it clear that Kyle had made mistakes, though Matt was sure he hadn't meant to put pressure on October like this. "He loves you. But he's been treating you wrong." Matt told October softly. "I'm sorry I didn't help you before, but I'm here for you now. I'll do anything I can to make things right, okay? April too. We ... we both love you as well. I want us to be family." He fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and offered it to her. "I promise it's clean." He added a little sheepishly.

 

[April Ward]

April felt like she could cry if she tried. The tears weren't at the surface yet, but they were building up. October had been so hurt, and April hadn't even known or noticed before. Why hadn't she been there for her? Would it have been less bad if April hadn't gone to hug Kyle? Had she made things worse? April looked at Kyle, biting her lip. He looked really sad too. Hesitantly, she patted his shoulder. When he declared he'd talk to her, she pulled her hand back uncertainly. She opened her mouth to tell him to be nice, but closed it again. That wasn't her place. Standing here on her own now, for the first time she felt like she wasn't a part of this family. She didn't know what to say or do, didn't think she was wanted or needed in the hallway. Had this been how October had felt?

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

Kyle's legs felt like lead as he made his way to the hallway, terrified of what he would find. He still didn't know what to say, didn't know how to make this right. It was horribly, awfully eye-opening, reexamining his parenting in this light. With every step Kyle thought of another thing he had done wrong, shouldn't have said, should have praised October for more. He couldn't be prouder of his brilliant, hard-working daughter, and the fact that he had failed so miserably to let her know it was crushing. How long had he been hurting her like this? How much of what he had thought of as encouragement had actually caused her pain? Opening the hallway door and seeing October slumped on the floor sent a fresh wave of horror and regret through him, and he faltered for a moment. What could he say that would be enough to fix this?

A large, weak part of Kyle wanted to just run away. He couldn't do this. How could he face her now? But a much larger part of Kyle looked at October and saw his baby, under all the years of his actions driving them apart was still the sweet girl whose smile had given him reason to live. Kyle would have given anything to make her smile again. So steeling himself he approached nervously and knelt down next to Matt, too afraid to look at the other man's reaction properly. He had to focus on October now. She needed him first and foremost. "October..." Kyle said shakily, reaching out to take her hand. "October, I'm so sorry I've... made you feel like this. This is my fault. I'm so, so proud of you. Of course I am. I'm so sorry I've... I've done everything wrong." Kyle squeezed October's hand, feeling a fresh rush of tears well up. "I never wanted you to feel this way. You amaze me every day. I'm so sorry." Apologising was first and foremost, of course, but Kyle knew he owed October an explanation for his behaviour. But that meant discussing fears Kyle had never wanted anyone to know, even Matt. It meant baring the weakest, ugliest parts of himself to the people most important to him. It was terrifying, but he owed October that much, and if... there was to be any chance of Matt still loving Kyle after seeing this side of him, he knew the other man needed to hear it too.

 

[October Alcott]

October never could have imagined this scenario if she had been asked, even a day ago. Crumpled on the floor, crying out everything that had been straining her for the last nearly sixteen years, with Matt of all people offering the support she so desperately needed. It was overwhelming, and too difficult to think about. Mostly, October just hurt. She took the handkerchief he offered gratefully, wiping her eyes and sitting up a little straighter. It was a surprise, that Matt would stand by her so readily, after how difficult October knew she had been, and she didn't quite know how to respond. "Thank you..." She choked out, taking a few shaky breaths to collect herself.

October didn't know what to say back to Matt, but she didn't really have time to figure it out. She had hoped Dad wouldn't follow them right away, would give her time to collect herself, but he was here, and before October could pull herself back together properly he had sat down next to Matt, and was reaching for her hand. October yanked it away quickly and looked away, not able to process all the conflicting emotions she felt seeing him. Part of October wanted to just scream at her father, to scream and scream so he couldn't talk, but she was... too tired. She had poured out every emotion that had filled her for her entire life, and all that was left was sadness and exhaustion. As he spoke a fresh wave of tears hit October. He sounded sincere, he did, but after years of being shown the opposite how could she just believe him? How could any words possibly wash away everything he had said and done? Hiccuping weakly with fresh sobs, October finally looked at her father again, pain and betrayal tangling with hope and love inside her. "Why...?" Was the only word she could manage, voice cracking as she spoke.

 

[Kyle Alcott-Ward]

October yanking her hand away from Kyle pained him, but didn't surprise him. He couldn't expect her to be comfortable with him now of all times, but it still hurt, to have his offer of comfort rejected. The thought of what she might have to say to him terrified Kyle, but when October finally did speak, it was even more heartbreaking than he had expected. The pain in her voice hurt, but knowing that he had been the one to cause it, to fail his child like this, was indescribable. When she finally met his eye Kyle's heart ached for his daughter all over again. All he wanted was to hold her, to look after his baby and make sure everything was going to be alright. "It's... I owe you an explanation." He said shakily and after a moment moved closer and put an arm around October, relieved when this time she allowed the contact. He began to rock her slightly as he spoke, reminded of putting her to sleep as a baby.

"I've... failed. At a lot of things." Kyle said quietly, not sure how else to start. It was painful and terrifying to bare insecurities he had bottled up for decades, especially in front of the people he loved the most. "I did badly in school. Really badly. I slacked off, because I was sure I was going to be famous. I would have struggled to get a good job on my grades alone, but with my condition..." Kyle paused and took a shaky breath, ignoring the tears he felt slipping down his cheeks. "When you were born... when I held you in my arms for the first time... you were the most precious and perfect, and... fragile thing I had ever seen." Kyle could hear the waver in his voice, more tears running down his cheeks as he remembered the happiest moments of his life. "I was so scared. I've always been so scared. I tried so hard not to let you know, but every day I'm terrified." A dam had broken now, and sobs heaved Kyle's whole body, his extremities beginning to tingle as he struggled to keep his breathing steady. "I'm so scared I'm go-going to bite you. I don't want this life for you. You deserve so mu-uch better. But... if-if anything happened... I wanted... wanted you to ha-ave the... the opportunities I didn't. I wanted everyone to know how-how good you are, how t-talented, and... and brilliant, and ama-azing... I wanted to know that no... no ma-atter what nobody... nobody could ever stand in the way of your dreams... But I never... I'm so sorry, October. You-you're so... you're pe-erfect... I'm so, so proud of you... you don't... you never ne-eed to p-prove yourself to me..."

 

[October Alcott]

As hurt as she was, the offer of an explanation piqued October's interest. She didn't know if she would believe anything her father said, didn't know what he could say that would make sense of any of this, but her curiosity wouldn't let her go without at least listening. So she nodded quietly, looking down again. This time when Kyle reached out to her she didn't pull away, letting her father hold her close. The rocking reminded her of reading bedtime stories with him as a child, and a fresh wave of sobs wracked her, leaning into his shoulder and trying to keep the sobs as quiet as she could. As angry as October still was, she needed the comfort desperately right now, and it was a relief, to be held and rocked.

She didn't really know what she expected her dad to say, but as he spoke, as she heard him start to cry, new pangs of pity struck October. She saw her father for the first time not as an all knowing figure of authority, but as a man, a scared man, trying to do his best without knowing what that was. It didn't excuse what he had done to her, but it did explain it, and October realised that she didn't know what she would have done in his situation. Not the same thing, for sure, but it was easier to see the reasons he had made the bad decisions he had. Her dad was... just a man, not much older than October was herself now when she was born, and he was just guessing at the right thing to do. Part of October wanted to hug him back, but that felt like too much, too soon. Even if she understood now it still hurt, and even if he took this all on board now and changed, October didn't know... who she was, when she wasn't fighting to be the perfect daughter. Her entire personality felt shaped around the person her dad wanted her to be, and she didn't know where to go from here. She didn't know who she was anymore. The old October would have formulated something careful and cunning to say, but right now October felt small, small and young, and for the first time in her life like there was no way she could ever have all the answers. "Okay." Was the only thing she could think to say, curled up against her dad's side, soothed by the rhythm of his rocking like a small child.

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt felt wary as he watched Kyle approach. It wouldn’t be strange or unreasonable for October to want a little more time after she finally told her father how she felt. But as October let him nearby without any protest, Matt decided to stay quiet. This was an important moment between them, but he still felt like he ought to be present just so he could say something if Kyle overstepped again. He knew his fiancé hadn’t meant to, so it seemed to Matt like the possibility that he would accidentally do it again wasn’t too far-off. His words were genuine and emotional, and Matt was glad to see October didn’t react too badly to his words. Though her single, sad question broke his heart all over again. He subtly placed a hand on her arm to show silent support. Kyle started to talk more, explaining more about himself than he ever had in Matt’s memory. A conflicting desire to be at Kyle’s side rose up within him, but he stayed next to October instead. Matt felt his own tears form in his eyes at the sight of his partner crying, and he slowly extended a hand to rest on his shoulder as well. October leaned against Kyle’s side, seeming exhausted, and Matt decided he needed to take care of them both. “This… requires a lot more conversations to start healing.” He said quietly, addressing them both. “But that isn’t what we need to do now. Now it’s time for resting. October, what would you want to do tonight, most of all?” He was ready to do anything for the girl to make her feel comfortable, run to the store to get whatever food she liked after she didn’t eat much for dinner. But he had to know what to do, and the best way to find out was to ask her. He needed to comfort Kyle too, but that would happen once October was settled. She was the priority right now.

 

[April Ward]

After waiting for a bit, April poked her head out of the dining room to look at what was happening in the hallway. Seeing October on the floor with both April's dad and Kyle around her made April's eyes widen. Everyone looked so upset. It made her nervous. Biting her lip, she stepped back into the room. Somehow, joining them would feel like she was intruding. What should she do?