Alternate RP You Never Go Away (Continued)

[Knox Ivers]

Continued from here.

Despite the obvious tension, Knox was entirely content at focusing on the task at hand and avoiding talking about anything else, solely to get the interaction with Simon over with. He nodded at Simon’s comment he needed three chocolate frogs, and stepped over to the shelf of chocolate frog boxes, choosing three and placing them gently in the basket. As he looked up, about to ask what was next on the list, Simon’s words startled him slightly. In all honesty the last thing Knox wanted to do is have a heart to heart in the middle of the store he worked at, when he was supposed to be helping a customer, which was the reason he had avoided Simon’s earlier question. But it seemed no matter how hard Knox tried to ignore the elephant in the room, it wouldn’t be possible. “I, um.” Knox started to respond, caught off guard by Simon’s apology.

Knox frowned, his gaze moving to the floor as he processed Simon’s words. He had the entire winter break and his newfound free time and freedom to process all that happened with Simon at the yule ball and afterwards, although regardless, it still felt like an open wound, where Knox couldn’t help but cringe at his own stupidity and buried emotions that had affected not only Simon, but Clifton as well. Knox fully believed he was in the wrong, and regardless of Simon’s actions at the ball he thought he should have been the one apologizing instead. “It’s not your fault.” He eventually added after a silence fell. “I wasn’t being honest with myself and it was stupid, you don’t need to say sorry for that. I should say sorry for not realizing sooner.” Knox moved his free hand to scratch the back of his head as he tried to gather the words to explain how he felt about all that had happened. “I thought about writing a letter to you about it, but I just haven’t.” He added gently. “I didn’t know if it would be right, I don’t know the right way to act. I’d rather not act at all instead of make more mistakes that could hurt people, you know?” Knox really didn’t want to hurt Simon or the girl that Simon was apparently seeing, so it was difficult for him to know how to act. Other than helping Simon find all the sweets on his list for his brother and treating Simon like he would any other customer, Knox was unsure of what the right way to act was. He didn't want to make more mistakes and hurt more people and let his stupidity get the better of him all over again.​

 

[Simon Thorne]

Simon's self righteousness faded slightly when he noticed just how uncomfortable Knox looked. He didn't really have any right demanding anything from him when he was the one still in a relationship but it came back quickly when he remember just how little he wanted to go into his final year at school with this tension between them. Whether they liked it or not their paths would cross and he wanted to clear the air one way or another. Simon's resolve flickered again when the other boy said it wasn't his fault, and he shifted his weight back and forth uncomfortably. "Well...I still feel like it is." he admitted for what it was worth. His heart did a funny thing when Knox mentioned wanting to write him a letter and he had too look at the floor until it passed. Simon let Knox's question that was no doubt rhetorical linger as he tried to find his voice, that had suddenly gone missing. "So let's just start over." he recommended. "It's very nice to meet you complete stranger." he said with a grin and held out his hand to shake. He found himself holding his breath as he waited for Knox to respond. For some reason he didn't want this to be the end for them, not that he had any reason to feel like he right to him.

 

[Knox Ivers]

If Knox was being honest, and looked at the situation between Simon and himself with one of the few and fleeting logical cells in his brain, he would know that what had happened between them was both of their faults. That they were both as awful as each other for not addressing their situation earlier, and letting it lead into a confrontation that had caused more problems than it had solved. Although unfortunately most of Knox's brain cells weren't logical, and he couldn't read minds and know how Simon felt about it at all. He only knew how he felt about what had transpired, and could only focus on his own actions and guilt because he knew it was real. As much as he wished it wasn't the case, his mistakes and the guilt he felt over hurting people he cared about overshadowed whatever logic he could piece together, and everything else that might be true. Through it all Knox could only focus on how stupidly he had acted, and how dishonest he had been to himself and everyone around him. That part was his fault, and he knew it, and that was his reality.

Knox wasn’t sure how to react when Simon suggested they start over, and for a moment he looked between Simon’s hand and Simon’s face, as if checking whether Simon was being serious. However slowly but slightly unsurely, Knox eventually moved his free hand to shake Simon’s hand in greeting, accepting the idea of starting over with Simon as if nothing had happened. “It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Knox.” He introduced. “I understand you’re looking to buy a gift for your brother today.” He added, trying not to laugh at himself for acting too formal in a conversation that was supposed to be casual and carefree. He definitely didn't feel that way even if he was acting like he was unbothered.

There was a memory in the back of Knox’s mind, that reminded him of the last time he helped Simon buy a present for his brother, and the kissing that later ensued. For the sake of having a fresh start, he tried to push it away, as if he was trying to forget it and focus on the present, even if he knew it wouldn’t be possible. “First was three chocolate frogs, what else can I get for you?” Knox added, still trying to focus on the task at hand, despite his mind thinking many different things and being elsewhere. He knew he could at least keep up appearances and act as if that day was his first time interacting with Simon, and pretend the many feelings he had weren’t there. He felt it was the least he could do for Simon's sake, and for both of their sakes. As difficult as it would be to forget everything, Knox didn't want to spend his last year at Hogwarts feeling uncomfortable if Simon was nearby.​

 

[Simon Thorne]

Simon tired not to read too much into Knox's expression as he waited. But when he finally took his hand he felt like he could finally breath again. It was overwhelming, the relief of finally moving on. But the rush of emotion was also terrifying. He knew it wasn't just because there would be less awkward silences or tension between them. And those were feelings he didn't have room for. Not now and he wasn't sure if he could ever open that particular door. "I am." he said finally with a smile and fell seamlessly back into the roles they were playing. Two strangers with no history. No connection. "Right right." he said quickly as he finally snapped back into reality and remembered why he had come here in the first place. With annoyed sigh he handed the paper over to Knox. "It'll just be easier if you take this, it's all written down." he said in his usual haughty tone. But he dropped the attitude quickly, not wanting to alienate Knox as soon as they made up. "And, thank you." he added more kindly. He wasn't sure if it was for accepting his apology, or deciding not to cut him off entirely, or simply helping him find all the things on that bloody list. But it didn't really matter.