Will the Nightmares Ever End?

Nicolette Styx

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OOC First Name
Jessye
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Heterosexual
Wand
Yew Wand 14" Essence of Fairy Dust
Tossing onto her other side Nicolette's eyes bolted open widely. Usually by now she was fast asleep and dreaming peacefully, but there was something off tonight. A sharp pain was beating inside Nicolette's head so without haste she sat up and gripped it softly with her palm. 'It's all your fault...'. Nicolette winced when she heard the voice ring loudly in her head. Those voices that never seemed to quit plaguing her thoughts, about the things she had done. They just wouldn't leave her alone, they always seemed to be with her. 'Why didn't you help me?' The pain increased almost to the point where she wanted to cry out.

"Leave me alone!" She growled out she continued to clutch her head. But they didn't stop, they persisted. She pushed the soft covers off of her and turned her body so she could get out of bed. 'You let me die...your pathetic.' With a frustrated groan she pushed herself out of bed. "Shut up!" She snapped to herself as her hand swung out and hit something. The lamp that her hand had smacked flew to the floor and shattered the light bulb and a bit of the glass shade that was around it. 'I need to get Cecily..' Nicolette thought to herself as hurriedly made her way out of her room and into the room that she remembered was her best friends.

Cecily was sleeping and of course Nicolette felt bad for even thinking to wake her up. ' You don't deserve anyone...' She grimaced and gripped her head once more, a few stray tears fell from her eyes as she quickly made her way over to where Cecily slept. "Cecily.." She sniffled, as she tried to contain her tears. "Cecily wake up. Please.." she said lightly, through her muffled voice that she always had when she was crying.


//Niolette's Bedroom//
 
Cecily stirred within her sleep, her hands grasping at the soft jersey sheets, a contented smile on her face. She lay on her belly, the covers once again at her feet. Deep within her dreams she was happy, she was safe. A silver eyed, dark haired man with an infectious laugh and a sweetly accented voice held her close to his chest. She smiled her love into his embrace and in the background she could hear the sweet, pining cry of a baby. Happiness unlike any she had ever known shone within the smile she turned toward the bassinet in the corner. As she approached it, she reached out a hand and pulled the covers away. It was empty. Reeling back, she felt a hand grasp her arm and fling her around. Asparuh loomed over her, his dirty blonde hair long and loose around his shoulders flew out as if an invisible wind pushed at him, his silver eyes darkened until they were nearly black.

"Wake up," he sneered. Cecily tossed and turned on the bed, then flung herself up until she was sitting, breathing as if she had taken the stairs at hogwarts twice over. Wide eyed, she touched her flat stomach, remnants of the dream bogging her down and she keened at the emptiness.

"Cecily."

Whipping her head around, she saw Nicolette, pale, shivering and crying, clutching her head. Her voice was so far away, so quiet but it sounded so scared. Cecily silently reached for her friend, as much to comfort her as to comfort herself, and gently drew Niccy onto the bed with her. Wrapping her arms around her, like they had the night they'd party'd too much, she held her tight. "What's wrong?"
 
Nicolette cried into Cecily, there was nothing she felt like she could do but cry and cry. She wasn't really sure what there would be to say except that her life was so far from the great one she made it seem like it was. Her past had destroyed her and it was going to live with her every day. "The voice, they're back. They're back inside my head." Nicolette managed to mumble despite her constant sniffles.

"They won't leave me alone...please make them stop." Nicolette cried out as she clutched her head more. When she was with Cecily the voiced seemed quiet a little, but they still persisted.
 
Cecily smoothed a shaking hand over Nicolette's golden blonde hair, murmuring to her that it would be alright, that she was there. And that she wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her, ever, not ever again. She was grateful she could touch her friend, soothe her, be there for her. The other night at Prodan's, during his episode when he'd forgotten to take his pills, she could not even be near her love. He had been too locked within his mind and only his twin sister could bring him back by making him take his pill.

She held Niccy and hoped, prayed, that her friend would be alright. Wetness streamed down her own face as she tried to wipe them from her friends cheek. What had scared her so badly? She held silent, waiting either for Niccy to speak or to fall into some sort of sleep.
 
It took Nicolette awhile, but with Cecily calming her down with words and gentle actions, the voices slowly began to fade more and more with everyone minute and every action. However, Nicolette's tears still continued to fall softly as she tried to remember exactly why the voices started up again in the first place. Shifting slightly she turned to look up at Cecily with her golden eyes before she sniffled again and brought her arm up to wipe at her nose. Chances were that she owed Cecily and explanation now, she'd really rather avoid telling everyone all together. But if someone needed to know, and if it was going to be anyone right now Nicolette would honestly prefer that it was Cecily.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She sniffled loudly as she brought a hand up to wipe at her eyes. They were leaking like crazy and it made her feel like such a baby. However, she needed to explain things to Cecily and she knew that she needed to be serious about this. She was about to tell Cecily Rambolt everything, and she knew Cecily would probably never see her the same way again. "I guess I should explain what just happened..." Nicolette started out not really knowing what else to say. "I hear voices in my head....not my own voice. But the voices of....the voices of the people I killed." Nicolette finally bit out, knowing full well that Cecily's reaction would be one of shock or maybe worse.
 
Relief poured through Cecily as Nicolette slowly came back to herself and settled down. She listened to the words she said, saw her mouth form them but a sense of shock at their content over came her. Then disbelief. No, someone as sweet, as kind and trusting as Niccy couldn't have harmed anyone. There had to be a logical explanation, some form of explanation that would make sense of this late night visit.

Reaching down, Cecily grabbed the covers and pulled them up, using her hands to keep her busy so her mind didn't start to freak out. The covers around her shoulders, she tucked them around Nicolette too and nodded. "Okay," she said quietly, "why don't you start from the beginning?" Laying on her side with her arm tucked under her pillow under her head, she curled the other under her chin.
 
Nicolette was extremely shocked when Cecily did seem to freak out as much as some people who knew her past had. All those deaths that she had either witnessed or caused technically made her a murderer, and for some reason people always ran before they heard the whole the story. And for this, Niccy could've hugged Cecily. For once she was getting a chance to explain why she had done the things she'd done and how she was able to let go of the past.

With a small sigh she nodded softly. "My parents abandoned me when I was about 2 years old. No one really knows why...they just disappared one day." Nicolette reached up the the place where the locket that used to belong to her parents used to be. But she unluckily lost it somewhere. She really missed be able to play with it with she layed in bed at night; the thing never opened for her. But just the simple fact that it was given to her by her parents made it special for her. "I don't remember them at all either. Because I came from a pure blood family it didn't take long before someone from a magical background adopted me and took me home. And that man happened to me James Monette." From what Nicolette remembered, James had no wife, kids, or siblings. So it was always just him, her, and the victims he brought home.

"The man who adopted me was never in his right mind though. I guess you could say He was a scientist of some sort." Thats how James always referred to himself when people asked him. If only they could see past the honorable man he seemed to be and see the freak that lived inside, maybe they would've lived longer if they had. "He kidnapped or lured random people of the street, then experimented on them. He dismembered them and attempted to use their body parts to recreated things, tested poisons on them, attempt to see what happened when they went into deep freeze or lost too much blood. All kinds of really weird things."

Nicolette always could remember the weird ways this man attempted to experiment on other human beings. He was led to believe that he could do great things if he figured out how to do it all, too bad he was probably looking off into the wrongest direction possible. Glancing up at Cecily once more she wondered if her friend was getting of this at all, sometimes things like this just blew over people's heads. "The worst part was, he made me watch a big portion of them. I h-had to watch those people suffer and die." Her voice cracked a little just at the memory at watching some of them suffering. they had never deserved it, but it never mattered to James. "He tried to teach me how to heal so that maybe I could them....but never could save them. So in the end I always watched them die, knowing fully well that it was my fault." A few small tears fell from her eyes as she was overwhelmed with the guilt. She knew it was her fault, she even lured some of them in herself.

"As I grew older, he started to beat me when I didn't go things right. Sometimes he even locked with in the basement for days on end. And over time...I grew angry.....so angry that not only sis I developed these voices, but I also developed another half of me or an alter ego. The who hold all my hate." Nicolette hated making it known that she basically had a split personality. Especially when the other personality of hers was a bit of a pain in the but to deal with. It was her other half that killed, that hated, and the one who was constantly holding Niccy back. "Eventually I ran away without any word to him. And now, I've been through so much in my life....that I really bent of never letting anything really get to me anymore. Thats why I'm always happy, because I know everything is gonna be okay." Nicolette admitted to why she she always seemed so happy. Somewhere deep in her heart there was always a feeling that everything is going to get better, and even though James had destroyed her life, she would probably never bring herself to hate him. "Now my biggest fear it that he'll find out where I am and bring me back, so I'm always needing to watch myself.....and there." Nicolette wiped her eyes as she finished her tale of her bumpy beginning. Things were getting way better now for her, and she didn't want to let anything ruin it.

 
Cecily laid there in bed and absently played with the end of a long strand of Nicolette's hair as she listened to her pour out her heart. Her friend had seen horrors and been mistreated, horribly mentally scarred and as much as it angered her, it saddened her. Nicolette had a pure soul, she didn't care what anyone said. She was decent and kind and had befriended Cecily at a time when her life was nearly falling apart.

She said nothing as she gathered her thoughts. "Nicolette, those are just things that happened to you, not who you are. You didn't kill those people, he did. You tried to save them." She smothered a yawn, her body was begging her to go back to sleep, as she hadn't had any at Prodan's. She ignored it. "You're who you are and I wouldn't change that," she said simply. "I only see good in you, Niccy." She smiled reassuringly for her friend. "And he can try to find you but he won't succeed. You've got me now. And we both know a lot of angry Bulgarians who could throw down in a pinch," she grinned softly.
 
Nicolette smiled through her tears, there was no way she could hide the smile after Cecily had said what she had, it was just too funny yet true. Niccy knew she had Cecily to take care of her, and she had also made so many new friends here. There was no way in her that he would be getting her back without her putting up some sort of fight. As Nicolette continued to snuggle with Cecily, she wondered if she should tell her friend about her being a Death Eater or maybe all those times that she had meant to kill someone. 'Maybe later...poor Cecily doesn't need to become more upset that she might already be.' She eventually decided against it, it might be too much for Cecily right now.

"Hey Cecily....who is Bearse?" Nicolette faintly remembered his name from when she was drunk, but other than that his name was filling in a completely blank for her. She did know that he had something to with Cecily and her past though.
 
Cecily flinched at his name. She could blame it on lack of proper sleep or even from having two of the most important people in her life breaking apart in front of her, but it would be a lie. Deep down she was afraid of the dead man. She would always be. Closing her eyes she breathed in shakily. "Bearse was my ex husband, Niccy." Green eyes slid open and remnants of that fear were in them. "I met him fresh out of school while I was finishing my apprenticeship. He was a handsome and sly devil, much older than me. It was like striking a match against driftwood; explosive. We burned out just as quick," she shrugged. "His darkness, his cruelty, were too much for me to compete with. And his 'brothers', the Death Eaters." She snuggled deeper into the covers, suddenly chilled.

"One night, we had an argument. No," she stopped herself, tired of glossing it over, "scratch that. One night, his 'brothers' taunted him about me one time too many. He spent that night teaching me what it meant to have dirty blood. So I divorced him, moved here, only he was here already. His cousin ran the school and he had become Headmaster with her." Her breathing steadied.

"It had been years since we'd seen each other last. So many scars had healed and I thought, oh how I believed him when he said he'd turned over a new leaf." She stared at a shadow that moved across the wall, her eyes unfocused. "And for a while, he had. I had the husband back from when we first met. And then he reunited with his fellow Death Eaters. History...repeated itself." She spoke now in a hushed voice, not looking at anything really, as if speaking to herself. "It's amazing that I can be with Prodan in any capacity, after what Bearse did to me. He left me with more scars, on my body and on my mind, before the night he went to far."

She shook herself from that dangerous path and for the first time in a while looked at Nicolette. "It's over now. He's dead and I'm not. He thought him and his lowlife Death Eater pals could wreck me for good, but they didn't. I'm barren because of him but even that worked itself out. Prodan has children that I could love," she smiled slowly, knowing it was true. She may fear the dead, but she wouldn't let it rule her life.
 
Nicolette kept her gaze averted from Cecily and let her hands grip the blanket until her knuckles were white. Those things that man had done to her was truly one of the harshest forms of cruelty that a person could ever do. 'The Death Eaters are to blame for this.....does this mean I'm fated to become just like him?' Nicolette was not only a Death Eater, but she was a pure blood who found herself loathing the muggles sometimes. She didn't want to become like those who caused people to suffer, she wasn't even sure why she found herself so drawn to them in the first place.

"I never thought you had dirty blood...." Nicolette stated before she wiped her eyes to rid herself of the tears once more and wrapped her arms around Cecily in a strong hug. "That man is lucky I never met him, or I'd kill him myself." Many people thought she probably would be kidding about this, but Niccy knows when something is wrong and if she needed to she'd give all her morals away to protect someone she cared about. "At least you have Prodan though, I can sense that he would never hurt you." She smiled at Cecily and tried to look genuine despite the tears that continued to build up in her eyes.
 
Cecily returned Nicolette's hug and breathed out a sigh. How had she ever been lucky enough to stumble upon this woman? Her best friend, the sister of her heart. Drawing back she laid her head on her pillow and smiled sleepily. "It's alright. We'll protect each other from now on. Anybody messes with one of us, they mess with both of us," she grinned. Then she yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. Her eyelids began to get heavier and before sleep overtook her, she mumbled, "You're my best friend, Niccy." Then she began to breath deeply into sleep.
 
All was good and peaceful to Nicolette right now, this was how she always wanted things to be. She wanted to keep living the happy life she currently was. All these people that she's been meeting and getting to know for the past fives months have made their mark in her heart, and it's not very likely that she'll ever forget any of them. 'These people have become like a dysfunctional family to me....' And for that Nicolette was thankful to all of them, because in the end her ultimate goal was to find a family.

When Cecily fell asleep Nicolette giggled to herself, she was feeling pretty tired to. So she figured she might as well fall asleep right here, she didn't really have enough energy or feeling to possibly get up and head back to her room. "Your my best friend too Cecily..." She drawled on as she placed her head on the pillow and allowed her eyelids to close, it wasn't long before she too fell asleep .
 

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