Who she used to be

[Hisoka Icchihara]

It was official Hoshi was going to be his wife. Koaru had announced it at the winter ball. He had also said they would be married within three months but Hisoka was not going to rushed. He had loved Hoshi for as long as he could remember but had never dreamed he could be this lucky. Hisoka wasn't going to rush this. He was going to court her and propose properly and give her the wedding she had always dreamed of no matter what it was. If all of that took longer than three months than so be it. After dropping Hoshi off at home Hisoka had asked her out on a proper date. She had accepted with a funny little smile on her face. Today they where just going to do silly couple things. They where going to start off at the San Francisco Zoo and than see where the day took them. Looking at his watch Hisoka saw that Hoshi would be there in a few minutes. Placing his hands behind his back he held his very first gift to Hoshi.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

An everyday situation called for an everyday style. Well everyday when it came to Hoshi Koshiba. Her boots where tall, her stalking black and her dress velvet with feathers. Still she wasn't all there. Her miraculous recovery had lasted only as long as it had taken her to get home. After a set of withdrawal symptoms that that could knock a Dementor to the floor Hoshi had screamed for her nightly knock out which had been brought to her post hast. Hoshi had a shield up for the sun seen as floating umbrella would have drawn attention and muggle rich had servants hold things for them as they walked. She had often wondered why that was seeing as there had been people not to long ago complain about a one percent thing. Her father would have put a stop to such rebellion in a heartbeat but then the Americas where a democracy not a dictatorship as the Shadow Emperor's rule was. Hoshi made her way to the San Francisco zoo in order to meet up with Hisoka. She knew that he loved her because of the way he kissed her. Hoshi also knew that she was going to have to get used to him. She had liked him well enough but knew that her place made falsehoods very likely. It was why she had chosen her haze in the first place. Hoshi agreed to this in order to do something normal for once and in order to watch Hisoka. She found him in all her wondering and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hey there handsome." She said with a dreamy potion fulled smile on her face.

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Hisoka was glad when Hoshi was finally there and her arms where wrapped around his neck. Giving her a soft kiss on the lips. He noticed right away that she was not all there. He had heard the rumors about Hoshi not being able to do anything in less she was drugged up but to see it in person broke Hisoka's heart. He would have a word with Hoshi's maids and see to it that the potions she was taking where slowly taken away from her. When they where finally married he wanted her sober not half drunk and dazed. Taking a step back Hisoka brought his gift out from behind his back. "I got this for you." Hisoka said as he held the stuffed animal out in front of him. He had done a lot of background work and found out Hoshi's favorite animal. It had been all to easy to find a stuffed animal of it. While they where in the muggle world it was motionless but once Hoshi was back at home it would start to bark and growl and even move its head from time to time. Hisoka knew that his older brother and bought Hoshi things that where worth a whole lot more but Hisoka had decided he would get Hoshi things that would mean something to her.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

Hoshi took the stuffed animal and smiled softly. She loved cerberi. She had a real one once upon a time as a laugh in the face to the shipping laws. She also loved the since of power that came from the three headed life form. She didn't quite remember what happened to the one that she had gotten as a show of power. All she knew was she didn't have it anymore. Not that she had noticed at all when it was no longer in her back yard. Hoshi kissed one of the heads then hugged Hisoka again. "I love it thank you dear." She said with a brighter smile on her face. It seemed almost real though it was very new this feeling thing. She wasn't used to having them but it seemed like Hisoka was teaching her how again, just by being around her. "Let's go look at some animals." She said.

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Hoshi wasn't acting like herself. The night at the ball she had been so alive and she was a force to be reckoned with. The women in front of him was none of these things. He let out a sigh when she smiled at him. Hoshi's smiles where lovely but it was a mere shadow of what he had seen. "Hoshi, we have to talk." Hisoka said gently but firmly. He wasn't like his brother who would be happy just sitting back and letting Hoshi destroy herself. No Hisoka wasn't going to stand by and let his true love go down. He would try to charm her and get to to stop on her own but if need be Hisoka would force her to stop. It would break his heart but with how unsettled the four families where at the moment there was no other choice.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

Hoshi had been a shadow of herself. She had remembered and there had have been residual something in her body because she hadn't felt like she need any potions in her body. That hadn't lasted though and the pain had come. "About what lover?" She asked softly. Hoshi didn't understand. Her behavior off off the potions she took had never been considered acceptable. Yes she had taken to being more liberal with her body but other than that she quite, calm and quite devious. That last one had always been there but because she wasn't 'wasting' her cleverness on getting the next laugh it was allowed to shine. That and stopping hurt. Physicly it hurt. She could deal with the memories of everything that she had done but Hoshi found that she could handle more pain. She wondered if anyone had told Hisoka this and if he even cared.

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Hisoka took his future wife over to a bench. Sitting down Hisoka waited for his wife to sit down next to him. Once she was seated Hisoka took out his wand and gave it a quick wave so that no one would overhear them as they talked. Taking Hoshi's hands in his Hisoka didn't know how to start. Finally after a few false starts he started talking. "Hoshi it has come to my attention that you spend most of your time in a potion drunk state. I do not wish to tell you what you can and can not do but I must urge you to slow down if not stop." Hisoka paused for a moment his courage starting to fail him. He hoped that he wouldn't upset Hoshi but she needed to understand that he was not his brother and he would not stand by and let her destroy herself. "I hope that this does not upset you because that is not what I am trying to do." Hisoka had to stop again because he just didn't know how to continue on. If only Hoshi could understand just how in love with her he was.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

Hoshi wasn't angry. More so she was curious. "Why would you care? If I'm flying on my metaphorical cloud nine I'm not causing trouble. If I'm busy seeking my next altered state than I'm not in anyone's way. If I feel alright then I do what needs to be done and don't think about what I want." Hoshi said crossing her arms. He knew as well as she, the word of the families was law. What she wanted was to float, as long as that was all that she wanted she would be a good little girl and cause any trouble. Eden was taken care of by the fact that she was married now and people where happy that Hoshi didn't make news anymore. She had been the family trouble maker and that had shamed her father most of all. He was the one that made her what she was in the first place. Hoshi had given in because she knew that no one would come looking for her at the bottom of the well she had let herself fall in. Here was Hisoka looking as if he actually cared what she was doing to herself. With each drink her will became weaker, her system was stronger because of the treatment that she had undergone but now that this was gone she was doing damage to her body again. Even if this was true, why would he care?

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Hisoka looked at Hoshi like she was insane. How could she not see just how much he cared about her? Hisoka had spent years wanting Hoshi but knowing he would never have her. The first night they had spent together had been because he had taken a risk. Now that he was the oldest son the one that was going to be in charge of the Icchihara family he wanted to make sure that his wife would be strong and able to rule with him. I care because you are my one true love and you will be my wife. I don't want you always in an altered state. I want you to feel what you want to feel and think what you want to think. I want you to be alive just like you where at the party. You will be running the Icchihara family with me not just in name but in truth. There where rumors going around Japan. Dangerous rumors that could change everything. Hoshi you need to get your head out of the clouds and your feet on the ground. Your sister Eden has married Alexander Silverback. The Seers are saying they will have a boy who will be named Luxen. You father is thinking of putting your mother aside of another. If he does than you lose everything. You need to sober up or everything you have worked for will be lost. Hisoka said holding Hoshi's hands. If she didn't agree to do this willingly than Hisoka was going to get rough and he knew that she would not like that.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

Hoshi wrapped her arms around his neck. This was true, she was going to be Icchihara in a few months. Preparations where already being made so that all Hoshi had to do was choose a dress and a color. He said that he cared for her, she could see that in his eyes. Hisoka was her's and her's alone but it wasn't enough it seemed. With all that was going on Hoshi wanted nothing more than not to care. "I would not lose anything, I am as much his daughter as I am Haruhi's. Even then a lot of what the Koshiba has gained is my work. You don't have to worry about that." She said then nuzzled her nose against his cheek. She was doing this partly as a distraction and partly because she did want to feel something now. Hoshi did care for Hisoka she knew that much and the fact that he was trying to prevent some of the damage that she was doing to herself was making her reconsider shutting herself down. Not enough to bring back her soul but enough allow him in her heart. "It hurts Soka-kun. Stopping hurts too much to bear." She whispered more like a child than anything else. She was begging not bring the pain back, not make her go through it again. Hoshi warped mind would do anything to make sure that she would get what she needed to be able to make it through the day. It was bad she knew but she felt as if what she was doing made her stronger than she really was. Made her acceptable.

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Even with Hoshi's arms around him, he didn't calm down. There was to much at stake. If Hoshi didn't get her head together. Hisoka had this feeling Eden would have Hoshi removed and rule the Koshiba through her daughter Aine. Hisoka had spent a lot of time watching the Koshiba and the other families and as time went on every family had started become lazy. "Eden is a daughter as well and Koaru makes it no secret that prefers his other daughter to you." Hisoka didn't want to say much more. Upsetting Hoshi would not get him what he wanted. Hearing his love moan about not wanting to deal with the pain Hisoka shook his head. "You can and will handle the pain. You will go sober on your own or I will have you locked away in my home until all of the poison is out of your system. Things are changing for the families and if you don't wake up from this potion induced sleep you will lose." Hisoka said getting to his feet and looking at Hoshi trying to stay calm but knowing that everyone could tell he was angry.

 

[Hoshi Icchihara]

Hoshi let go with a gasp. "Eden had done nothing but get herself in a lot of trouble! She managed to marry into an worthy family but had she been fully Japanese she would have been disgraced! How dare he, how dare he, how dare he?" Hoshi screeched. There wasn't deal in Japan that she didn't know was going down. There wasn't a trade she wasn't somehow involved in or a bet she didn't get a cut of. There wasn't a dealer that didn't pay homage to her. Hoshi had woven almost as big a web as her father's and she wasn't even a broker for her dad's legal businesses. She knew what it was about but she wasn't part of the company yet. A light seemed to come up in Hoshi's eyes of the fury she felt. She had done everything that she had been expected to do and more and still her father didn't see her. It was why Hoshi had rebelled against him in the first place even though it was in her blood to start with. The old fire was back, the drive to destroy her father was back and she was convinced that this would get her nowhere. Hoshi stood and reached into her bag. There was a vile inside that held a clear green liquid that would calm her down and lull her back into a manageable state. "I must not be allowed to rebel again." She said though for the first time she looked guilty for what she was about to do.

 

[Hisoka Icchihara]

Out of Character:

Godmod approved by Ana.

Hisoka could not believe that Hoshi was acting like a spoiled child. It had gotten her to think but it was not what he wanted. He wanted to bring the fight back into her. He wanted to go back to where she used to be. "Hoshi what have you done? Eden is a Silverback. If anyone wants to make a connection with them they have to go to her. She has proven that she can have kids. She was the top of her class and she is a very powerful witch. What have you done?" Hisoka could see that Hoshi was starting to come back to who she was. As she reached into her bag and pulled out a vile. Hisoka grabbed the vile from Hoshi and broke. "Enough! No more potions of any kind. You are going to sober up starting now. When we get married you will be sober. When you get pregnant you will be sober and as you raise our sons you will be sober. If you do not lose this than you will lose everything and Eden will run everything leaving you with nothing! Hisoka said so angry that he was ready to break something. Realizing that he could talk until he was blue in the face and she still would not understand. Hisoka grabbed her by the hand and turned. She was going back to his place where she would sober up and become the Koshiba he knew she could be.