Ai Nightray
mum • all of it was worth getting here • loyal
- Messages
- 8,627
- OOC First Name
- Marga
- Blood Status
- Mixed Blood
- Relationship Status
- Married
- Sexual Orientation
- Demisexual
- Wand
- Straight 14 1/2 Inch Unyielding Redwood Wand with Augurey Tail Feather Core
- Age
- 11/2018 (33)
Ai Edogawa did not know what to do. She let her thoughts drift as she walked and her mind had brought her to the events of the Prefect Meeting. Who was she kidding? Why did she even think she could handle being Head Girl? She could barely handle her own life as it is, how could she even begin to lead people she barely knew? It must have been a bad joke played on her by fate. Her being Head Girl wasn't a success, it was a straight-on failure. It was nothing she could be proud about. She couldn't handle this like Isabella, Artemis, Aphrodite, Kate, Ostensia, Briar or any other Head Girl before her! She even had to wonder how she ended up being chosen. She wasn't the smartest, most athletic, kindest, bravest, strongest or whatever the hell it is that they use as a basis for being one of the head people! Why was she even in Hogwarts in the first place? No. Why was she even alive in the first place? She couldn't help but think that her whole existence was a mistake. How could she not think that? Almost everyone had made it a point to tell her and shove it to her face how much of a failure she is. Everyone but one was left in her life and she wouldn't even be surprised if he left her soon. In fact, she may or may not already be counting days of how long he'll stay by her. Ai was already preparing herself after all for the evident future she will have. Abandonment.
Thoughts drifted around her head, making her more and more depressed by the moment. She could have handled that meeting a lot better. She could have formed those patrols better! But how could she? She didn't even know those guys and the only person she knew was Heath and Taylor and being on good terms with them was a bit far from plausible. She didn't know about Sergei and Preston, if she had, maybe she would have let Sergei patrol with her. At least she'll be the one enduring his attitude. Maybe that one hell of a meeting would have gone better. Or maybe she could have at least stopped Raziel from throwing those cards. But how could she? He had just as much authority as she had and that meant he could deduct points and he had a say in the matter. She could have talked to him but she was just as surprised at anyone in that room was. As her thoughts continued to lead her to different circumstances and depression, she had failed to notice that her feet had led her to the Courtyard and she had just stopped right there. She had always found this place to be beautiful. And even now, as her thoughts were far from a beauty, she continued to admire the place and recollect all of her memories here and she chuckled bitterly to herself. She should have known the her first year was a mere child's play to everything she would experience in her final year. She should have expected the pain to be greater and her failures to be worse than ever before. And then as she continued to look upon the place sadly, she couldn't help but mutter to herself, "Who am I kidding?"
Thoughts drifted around her head, making her more and more depressed by the moment. She could have handled that meeting a lot better. She could have formed those patrols better! But how could she? She didn't even know those guys and the only person she knew was Heath and Taylor and being on good terms with them was a bit far from plausible. She didn't know about Sergei and Preston, if she had, maybe she would have let Sergei patrol with her. At least she'll be the one enduring his attitude. Maybe that one hell of a meeting would have gone better. Or maybe she could have at least stopped Raziel from throwing those cards. But how could she? He had just as much authority as she had and that meant he could deduct points and he had a say in the matter. She could have talked to him but she was just as surprised at anyone in that room was. As her thoughts continued to lead her to different circumstances and depression, she had failed to notice that her feet had led her to the Courtyard and she had just stopped right there. She had always found this place to be beautiful. And even now, as her thoughts were far from a beauty, she continued to admire the place and recollect all of her memories here and she chuckled bitterly to herself. She should have known the her first year was a mere child's play to everything she would experience in her final year. She should have expected the pain to be greater and her failures to be worse than ever before. And then as she continued to look upon the place sadly, she couldn't help but mutter to herself, "Who am I kidding?"