we just want to be whole.

S

Steph Shirley

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Wand
'Yew Wand 13 1/2" Essence of Phoenix Feather'.
Steph had woken up to a package on the floor by her bed. Her owl, Wellie was perched on the bedframe looking downn at her. Steph had opened it, and found out it was one of her brothers old acoustic guitars.
Steph skipped breakfast and headed down to the lake. Her brothers acoustic on her back. Alex had taught Steph how to play, and Steph wanted to catch up, because she hadnt played for a few months.
When she got down there, she sat on the grass, gently strumming the guitar.
Soon the strumming turned into a rythmn. Steph was playing the intro to 'We are broken,' by Paramore. Steph sang along quietly. Her voice wasnt perfect, it was shaky with emotion, but she was a good singer.

As she sang, she watched the tree's ripple in the wind, it was soothing for her.
 
Aiden had woken up early so he ate breakfast before everyone else, partly because there was nothing better to do and partly because he was avoiding Isabella. He still liked her, more then Steph and Alyssa combined, but he was dating Steph now, he felt bad that she was a rebound, but he liked her right?

Aiden sighed and walked down to the lawn assuming that anywhere in the castle wouldn't be safe now, as Isabella had probably told Alyssa and she had a big mouth. So Aiden didn't have many friends at this point and time. When he reached the lawn he saw Steph, he frowned inwardly, but hid it and walked over to her.

Aiden sat beside his singing girlfriend and smiled warmly at her as he listened to the song she was singing, he could clearly hear the emotion in her voice, but he could also tell that she was a good singer. Aiden played acoustic guitar as well, but he didn't have much of a voice so he let other people sing while he played, it had worked out well for him, he had formed quite an ear for music because of that.
 
Steph heard someone sit next to her, she turned, still singing, and saw Aiden. She smiled and turned back to the front.

She really liked Aiden, but couldnt help thinking she was just a rebound girl. Steph was happy Aiden was her boyfriend, but a lot of doubts were whirring round her head.

Steph finished the song softly, and sighed. She turned to Aiden, 'Hey,' She said, hiding her sadness and doubts with a smile.
 
Aiden grinned at Steph as she greeted him and said, "I didn't know you could play." He smirked inwardly then kissed Steph's cheek softly, he knew that something was up though, he could see it plainly in her eyes. "Steph are you alright?" Aiden asked nicely as he leaned back on the palms of his hands and closed his eyes lazily.

He had a feeling that this little conversation would either have both of them acting or they would end up breaking up, neither of which he really wanted. Mainly because he didn't want to be with Steph, actually he just wanted to be on his own and have a few friends, but that never worked out for him, he wasn't even sure why. Aiden adjusted his glasses and opened his eyes and smiled at Steph nicely.
 
'Yeah i didnt exactly want to tell people, i suck.' Steph groaned, 'im fine,' she lied, but her voice was strong, she hoped Aiden wouldnt see through her lies.
Steph had wondered if she actually wanted to be with Aiden, he was her best friend. But she knew she liked him, even if she didnt like him as much as she thought, there was still something there.
She really didnt want to ruin it this early on. Surely if Aiden had the same doubts as Steph he'd tell her? Or would he not want to ruin their friendship? Steph really didnt want to, from past experience, going out with your best friend always left the friendship broken. But it was too late for that, if this was going to go the same was as it had with James, it was far to late to stop it.

Steph smiled back at Aiden, and began gently strumming her brothers guitar, trying to push all doubts and thoughts out of her head.
 
Aiden shook his head once and said, "No, Steph you're good." He flashed her a friendly smile but it fell when she lied, he was good at telling lies apart from the truth, and Steph was lying. Aiden decided he would just not say anything about it. It was easier for the both of them this way.

He exhaled deeply and then began hesitantly, "Steph.." Aiden frowned slightly, and trailed off, he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted to say. He didn't want to hurt her, or their friendship, but something had to be said. "I still like Isabella," Aiden murmured in Italian, he hoped that she wouldn't catch anything, but he knew that she would catch Isabella's name, there was no way he could have disguised that. He took his glasses off so he wouldn't be able to see Steph's expression, whether it was pained, relieved or other wise, he just didn't want to see it.
 
Steph smiled weakly and turned away from him, she could tell he knew when she was lying.

Steph She turned as Aiden said her name, she saw his expression and her stomach twisted, not in the way it had when he had told her he liked her, in an unpleasant way.
When Aiden spoke in Italian Steph frowned, she had learnt a couple words in Italian from her brother, she caught 'Like' and 'Isabella,'
'Bella?' Steph said in a quiet hurt voice, she knew inside what he was trying to tell her, she just refused to listen. She looked at him, right into his eyes, he wasnt wearing his glasses, Steph knew he couldnt see her clearly, she was glad. Her face had a hurt expression, and her eyes were squinting, she was trying hard to think of something Aiden could of just said that didnt hurt her. But there was nothing.
Steph put down her guitar, tearing her eyes from his, she pulled her knee's up to her body and wrapped her arms around her legs, and placed her head on her knee's, shaking her head.
 
Aiden nodded his head once when Steph said Bella he frowned softly and then said gently, "I like you Steph but.." Aiden forced a weak smile. He didn't see what Steph was doing but he could hear her moving. He reached out carefully and his hand rested on Steph's back softly. Aiden rubbed her back cautiously, he tilted his head to the side slightly and said, "I thought you should know." Aiden wasn't sure if he was planning to break up with her but he just had to tell her that he still liked Isabella, he had of course thought that she knew this but from her reaction Aiden could just cross that assumption off as incorrect.
 
Steph sighed, her eyes tightly closed, her head still on her knee's, she had an urge to move, to shake Aidens hand off of her.
Steph had always knew Aiden wasnt over Bells, but had hoped he was. But now he had told Steph, it seemed to real to her.

Steph was angry, with herself more than Aiden. She had fallen for him, her best friend. She had told him, she had asked him to be her boyfriend, when he clearly wasnt over Bells. She had lost Bella, and she had made Aiden more unhappy than he had to be.
Steph sighed, took a deep breathe and lifted her head off of her knee's. She shifted her body, so she was facing Aiden, his hand had fallen off her back with her movement. 'So, what now?' She asked in a quiet voice. She didnt want to break up with him, she wanted to keep him as her boyfriend, but she couldnt control him, she couldnt change his feelings for Bella.
 
Aiden put his arm behind his back again and put his glasses back on but didn't look at Steph, he still didn't want to see her expression he just couldn't deal with the head ache that would be brought on by not being able to see properly. He bit his lip and asked sheepishly, "Can we be friends?" He glanced up at Steph then back down when he saw her expression, he didn't like what he saw. "I still want to go to the ball with you, if you fancy?" Aiden asked politely.
 
Steph nodded at Aiden, then turned and looked out into the dull grounds. She sighed quietly, she couldnt say she was surprised, somewhere inside her she knew they were best of being friends.
Steph decided that being miserable wouldnt make Aiden feel any better, so she did her best to smile and turned back to him.
'Best friends?' She asked, her fake smile as real as she could make it. 'Yeah id like that,' Steph wouldnt have anyone else to go with anyway.
 
Aiden grinned widely and said, "Course Steph." He smiled at Steph and said, "Listen Steph, I'm going to go back to studying for exams, I'll see you a little later on kay?" Aiden wrapped his arms around Steph cautiously before standing up and walking off, he hoped that she would be fine, but he had a feeling that her pride would be a little shot for a while, he wasn't going to tell anyone if she didn't though.
 
Steph smiled, 'Thats fine,' She leant into him slightly, then sat back straight. She didnt watch him walk away. She didnt think she could.

Sighing, she picked up her guitar again, this time strumming out a secondhand serenade song. 'Like a knife,' She sang along quietly, every now and then the lyrics would get stuck in her throat, and she would mess up the chords. When she had finished the song she said simply,
'Goodbyes are ment for lonely people standing in the rain,' She knew it was stupid to be this upset, it hadnt lasted long, but she still liked him, whether he was her boyfriend or not.

Steph sat there for hours, singing out Secondhand Serenade songs, they suited her voice, especially when it was shaky with emotion. It started to rain, but she didnt notice. She wondered vaguely if anyone else would join her.
 
Seeing that it was beginning to rain Harri had quickly left the common room to step outside. As soon as the splashes hit her face she felt relieved, she knew that when it began to rain everyone usually headed inside so it was the perfect time for her to head outside.
Her frame was still delicately thin but atleast she was eating again now, she smiled as she remembered the last time she had been out in the rain she had been with Alex. She smiled widely and began to walk she began to murmer the lyrics to the song 'Found you' by 'Ross Copperman', she had never really liked the song but the lyrics were nice in it and they made her smile. " I can feel it in your eyes, I want you to know I'm just glad that I found you" she said this line of the song before stopping as she spotted Steph. Even though it was the back of her head she could see she knew it was Steph from the colour of her hair. "STEEEPHIEE," she yelled laughing before walking over and plonking down besides her. "Oh," she said quietly, "Are you okay?" she asked, feeling the rain beginning to saturate her hair.
 
Steph was singing Hallelujah by Paramore.
She could faintly hear someone else singing, but she was too rapped up in her singing to notice, and we've got time on our hands, and we've got, got nothing but time on our hands She sang this line before letting stopping, her voice had broken and a tear had fallen. She sighed, not noticing Harri until she heard her ask if she was okay.
She turned and wiped her face quickly, 'Oh you know, could be better i guess.' She said quietly, 'How about you?' You look like your enjoying yourself.' She smiled weakly, before gently strumming her guitar.
 
"Steph," Harri said her eyebrows raised, "Whats wrong?" she asked, her eyebrows falling and furrowing, her green eyes focusing on Steph.
"No just enjoying the rain," she said a slight smile on her face.
"You have an awesome voice by the way," she said honestly, she knew she was an awful singer but she recognised a good voice when she saw one.
 
'Aiden broke up with me,' Steph said quietly, 'But it wasnt working was it.' She sighed, pushing the thoughts out of her head.

'Oh,' Steph looked up at the sky, she had barely noticed the rain.
'Thanks,' Steph smiled at her best friend, 'I guess i practise a lot,' Steph said honestly, she had been spending a lot of time outside with her guitar.
 
"What!?" Harri said shocked, hadn't they only just got together?
"I thought it was really working with you," she said quietly. "Are you okay about it?" she asked putting her arm around Steph and feeling the rain trickle down her face like a tear.
"You must do, is that your brothers guitar?" she asked quietly.
 
'Well it wasnt working,' Steph chocked out quietly, 'We were much better of friends.'
'Yeah,' Steph stroked the frets gently, she treated the guitar like the crown jewels, it was all she had left of Alex, 'It was at his friends house, when, you know, the fire.' She explaned, strumming the guitar again with her gray pick.
 
"Really? Thats how you felt about it?" Harri asked skeptically.
"Do you want to get it out of the rain then?" she asked gently, "Maybe put it in the case?" she said softly. She wasn't sure that water could or would be good for a guitar.
 
'Well yeah,' Steph lied, not wanting to go into the fact that Aiden made her really happy, and that she really likes him.
'Oh, i guess,' She sighed, picking up the case and putting the guitar in, she closed it and locked it.
Steph sighed again and turned to Harri, 'So, anything happened with you and Alex?' She asked, quickly looking around to make sure no one was listening in.
 
Harri raised her eyebrow, she could tell Steph was lieing but she didn't want to push anything out of her. "okaay," she said skeptically.
"Well I met him in the tower," she said smiling, "It was good. But I can tell he doesn't like me at all," she siad sighing, "Which is understandable," she said quietly shaking her head and feeling water splash out of her hair.
 
'I think you should just talk to him, you never know until you try.' Steph smiled, 'Or do you want me to talk to him?' Steph wanted something to work out for Harri.
'When do you want to start these guitar lessons?' Steph asked Harri. She touched her hair, 'Eugh i really shouldnt of stayed out here.' She groaned.
 
"No I couldn't talk to him, I'd just end up embaressing myself as always,"Harri said sighing gently, "Really? You'd do that for me?" she asked a huge smile on her face, "Only you'd have to be real subtle about it," she mumbled quietly.
"Whenever you want to!" she said the big smile still on her face.
 
'Of course i would,' Steph smiled at her best friend, 'Subtle, right got it. What would i say to him?'
 
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