Closed Waiting To Be Alright

[Raawhiti Te Rangi]

On one hand, the Valentines dance was just another in a long line of 'lasts' this year - last Halloween, last Yule Ball, last Quidditch match - but it was still different. This was the last last. There were no more dances or events to come. Just the NEWTs he would do terribly in, before graduating into a world he had absolutely no idea how to approach. Just thinking about it made Rāwhiti tired in a way he never had been before. Tired of school, tired of people, tired of life. Thinking about what he was going to do with himself now was exhausting and fruitless, but it was the only thought he was able to fixate on, and in the process his schoolwork was going in one ear and out the other, no doubt making that future even bleaker.

There was only one worthwhile thing left in Rāwhiti's life, as far as he was concerned, and that was the man held close in his arms, swaying slowly to the music. He knew all this mushy stuff and big events weren't exactly Emery's thing, but he was here, trying to cheer Rāwhiti up. For all their differences, Rāwhiti didn't think anyone had ever understood him the way Emery did; they were the same, in so many ways, and he knew what it was like to live with one all-consuming focus the way nobody else Rāwhiti had ever met did. So he got it. And the more Rāwhiti thought about that, the more a next step had begun to reveal itself to him. It had been right in front of him all along, really. What better was there to build a future around? Still swaying, Rāwhiti leaned back slightly, smiling at his boyfriend in the low lights of the dance floor. "Hey, can I ask you something?" He asked, voice trembling a little with nerves.

 

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery was trying to focus on the good things. It was good that Raawhiti was here and seemed happy enough after the last game. It was good that they were here together. It was good that the decorations were as gaudy as ever so he could spend a lot of time complaining about them. Thing were good. Weren't they?

If Emery was honest, he felt uneasy. Things felt... fragile, like they were just about to slip out of his control. He wasn't sure what made him feel that way. The evening was fun, he and Raawhiti were doing things they always did at these dances, but... there was something off about him. Emery knew he was really disappointed in how the Quidditch season ended, and if he was honest he was pretty worried about him, but he didn't know how to bring it up. They were dancing together, nearing the end of the evening, when his boyfriend asked if he could ask him something. Emery couldn't put his finger on it, but something about the way he asked made him nervous. "Sure." He said, only hesitating a moment.

 

[Raawhiti Te Rangi]

Rāwhiti's heart raced in his chest, head swimming with a kind of dizzying nerves he had never experienced before. This was big, the biggest thing he had ever done, it was only natural to be filled with jitters. He let go of Emery and stepped back, fumbling in his pocket quickly. It was only a temporary solution - he'd stolen the glittery ring from his sister - but they could go shopping together for a proper replacement on the next Brightstone weekend, he was sure. Emery wouldn't care all that much about what the jewelry actually looked like, anyway.

"So, uh, I've been... thinking about the future." He said, fumbling a little to get out the words he had been turning over in his mind for days now. "I've got... no idea what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, but I know... I wanna spend it with you. I know we're young, but if we're sure about things, why wait?" He gave what he hoped was a cocky grin, but even he could tell it was coming across painfully feeble. "So... yeah. I figure... why not?" His legs were trembling under him as he got down on one knee, pulling the ring from his pocket and holding it up to Emery. "Will you marry me?"

 

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery knew Raawhiti like no one else, and he knew that whatever he wanted to ask terrified him. For a moment, Emery wondered if he was going to be dumped on Valentine's day while dancing under an obnoxious heart balloon, that would be a new low. But then Raawhiti started speaking again, and it seemed like it wasn't going in that direction after all. Emery's eyes widened as his words started to connect and form an image. But surely he wasn't going to-

As Raawhiti sank to one knee, Emery made strange strangled sound he probably couldn't recreate if he tried. He stared at his boyfriend, who was holding up a ring. Emery blinked at it uselessly as his blood ran cold. Surely this wasn't really happening, not in front of everyone, not when they were still kids. Still at school. Emery heard a hush around them and knew people were watching, though it might also be the blood rushing in his ears that was blocking out the sounds of the dance. He let out a shaky breath and tried to smile. "V-very funny." He said, voice shaking as he unconsciously backed away slightly. "C'mon Raawhiti, get up..."

 

[Raawhiti Te Rangi]

He had known that Emery would be surprised, but the shock in his boyfriend's face still struck Rāwhiti like a dagger. He did his best to smile through it, trying to ignore the panicked thudding of his heart. This was going to be alright. It had to be alright. Emery just didn't realise he was serious yet. "I'm serious." He said quickly, not wanting the idea to remain stuck in his head. He reached out and took Emery's hand with his free one, ring still held up. "I love you, Emery. I wanna spend my life with you, and I think we should start now..."

 

[Emery Mettlestone]

Emery's heart was racing and dark spots appeared in his vision, he blinked them away but he couldn't do the same with the image of Raawhiti's desparate face staring up at him. Clearly, it wasn't a joke. Emery had known it wasn't, but it also felt impossible that it was real. He shook his head slightly, taking a step back. "I can't." He croaked. "We're too young- It's too soon- I'm sorry." He said, the last bit coming out in a whisper. Emery wished he could sink into the ground and disappear, fully aware of all the eyes on them. He didn't want to hurt Raawhiti, but a distant part of him was mad at him too. How could he put him on the spot like that?