Open Unspoken

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

Open after Emzies

Though she had cultivated a bad habit of hiding away in her office in her early years working at Hogwarts, Kahurangi had taken to roaming the castle more and more since becoming a Head of House. It had been a decision born of utility at first, as she had an entire house to familiarize herself with, and she wanted to make sure she was as available as possible should any student need her. Recently though, her walks had become almost chronic. Being alone with her thoughts and no distractions felt impossible, and it was far easier to throw herself into castle life than endure the echo of her own worries.

Today her meandering around the castle had led to the staff room, a pleasant diversion from the busier student occupied parts of the castle. She was pleasantly surprised to find she wasn't alone, giving Misha a small smile and wave as she crossed the room to make a cup of tea. As the kettle boiled though, so did her thoughts, and once the cup of tea was made up, so was her mind. It probably would have made more sense to talk about this with a colleague she was closer with, like Matt or Cyndi, but something about that felt too vulnerable. Admitting her deepest wish to someone who actually knew her was a step Kahurangi just wasn't ready for yet. Asking Misha for advice felt safer, felt more distant from actually letting her fears out into the world. "Hey, Misha?" She asked, taking a seat opposite the Charms professor and cupping her mug in her hands. "You're a parent, right? Can I ask you some questions about... Parent things?"

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha ventured more and more out of his office, after a couple of years of remaining pretty tucked away and only doing his work, Misha had decided to be more active, to interact more with students and to spend more time around those who he was working with. It had nothing to do with Professor West or him really getting over the loss of Pat. Misha had come to the staffroom, mostly as he had forgotten to get more coffee for his office and he couldn’t live without coffee so there he found himself, with a cup of coffee reading some witches weekly magazine that he had found in his classroom. Truly he didn’t understand the fascination with these people, for every okay-ish story there was just something awful. He could see why Cyzarine might enjoy elements of it, but some of it was so critical of people, and his daughter was too cheerful to be poisoned by such words. ​

​

Misha took a sip of his coffee and turned to the next page, frowning slightly as it was an in detail description of several outfits with a detailed score given to them. He had to admit to the one where the person was very canary-esque but it felt mean spirited. He hadn’t noted anyone entering the room. So he got a little surprised when someone sat down opposite him and greeted him. ”Oh, hey,” he greeted in reply to the ancient runes professor. They had been friendly but he knew they weren’t close. At the question he had to admit he was a little surprised, there were plenty of other - better parents - to ask. ”Oh sure, go ahead.” his tone was light but he felt a little nervous about answering, what if his answer was bad. It wasn’t like he thought of himself of that good a parent. Cyzarine, his one daughter - the one he knew about - was just a cheerful ray of sunshine and he knew that was probably little to do with him. ​

 

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Kahurangi second-guessed them. She liked Misha well enough as a colleague but barely knew him as a person, what was she doing? Once she had said her thoughts out loud, they would be out there. She almost chickened out, scrambling for anything else she could say and coming up empty. "I'm... thinking of having a baby." She finally admitted, staring down at the cup in her hands. "But, I'm... I mean, just... by myself. And I'm... you know, I'm not young, and... I love this job, but it's so much, and... I don't know." She sighed heavily, eyes finally flicking up to Misha's face for a second before looking back down at her cup. "Am I... stupid for thinking I could balance work and a baby by myself?"

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha wasn’t sure the question would be but he was ready for it. He wasn’t sure how he could be of any help, he knew charms but children wasn’t really his strong suit. He was a little surprised when she started speaking, but he nodded, holding back the urge to congratulate her on it. Since it wasn’t like she was telling him she was pregnant just thinking about it. He obviously, as a man, wouldn’t be able to understand some of her worries, his only known child was with someone he’d only briefly been with. He had always wanted children but it wasn’t like he had to worry as much. He hadn’t had to balance it either. So he gave a little sigh and a soft smile. ”No, I think you could do it,” he told her with an honest tone. ”My daughter would say that people have always managed, that we wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t managed, no matter their age, so why shouldn’t you be able to too?” he said. Misha had a small smile, ”It would be hard probably, but certainly doable” ​

 

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

Kahurangi felt as though all the air had left her lungs with the words. In all the years her longing had grown, she had never let herself actually say her wishes out loud, and finally letting them free into the world felt like confirmation of... something. She didn't know what yet, but she felt... different. It wasn't... only her secret wish any more. It was.... a plan? She listened as Misha spoke, a relieved smile spreading across her face. "You think so?" She said, a small nervous laugh escaping. "I've been... worrying about this for so long." She added with another laugh. "I'm sorry to just drop all of this on you, by the way. I haven't been able to bring myself to ask anyone I'm close with yet, I've just been... worrying myself into a tizzy, you know how it is." She smiled apologetically. Maybe now she would be able to talk to Matt or Cyndi or Landon, get some more opinions from people she was closer to.

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha watched as it seemed that relief filled the woman, relief that perhaps the words had been said. He didn’t think he was the best person to ask about this for several reasons, but perhaps that why, they were friendly enough but he knew she was closer with other teachers. But he could provide an opinion that was a little removed because of all those things. ”I definitely think so,” he replied to her, he was more than certain that she would manage it, other professor’s had, so really he didn’t know why she couldn’t. ”It’s okay, sometimes it can be good to talk to an outside party.” he motioned to himself as he said this. ”I know Hogwarts doesn’t exactly have a creche but what’s one more, slightly younger child and I’m sure that those other professors who’ve raised children while working here would be happier to give information and help,” he obvious didn’t include himself in that Cyzarine had turned up at her first year at his door. So he knew his situation was different, but if the circumstances had been with him there entirely, he’d have wanted it. ​

 

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

Kahurangi nodded as Misha spoke, smiling gratefully. "Thank you." She said softly. "I wanted to talk to Cyndi, I know she's worked here her children's whole lives, but..." She laughed nervously. "That would feel a little too real, you know? I should do that, though." She smiled gratefully, taking a refreshing sip of her tea. The world suddenly felt so much lighter without the burden of her secret dream hanging over her. "How have you been, anyway? Sorry to just... dump all of this on you without even asking."

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha nodded, it made sense that she’d want to reach out to Professor Kingsley, but yeah, the questions there would probably make it more real. He didn’t and wouldn’t understand that, given that his one child in life hadn’t walked into his life until she started here. But it was still enough to feel sympathetic to Kahurangi about her situation. ”It probably would, but you know, that take it at your pace, reach out when you can and just because you talk about something doesn’t it mean it has to happen. We’re all capable of changing out minds,” the man said with a little shrug. He chuckled lightly, ”That’s okay, makes a difference from listening to the kids discuss whose going to ask who to the ball, or which professor is the best,” he joked lightly, ”The answer is always me,” he gave a smile, but he let himself nod, ”But yeah, I’m good, life is good. Not really anything I can complain about, or talk about,”​

 

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

Kahurangi smiled gratefully as Misha encouraged her to reach out, nodding in agreement. "You're right. I'll.. start reaching out." She smiled gratefully. Kahurangi sipped her tea as Misha talked about his usual conversations, laughing softly. "Is it now?" She joked. "We'll have to see who pops up as student's favourite in the yearbook." She teased lightly. Kahurangi nodded when he talked about his own life, smiling slightly. "That's good. How's your daughter? She must be in the upper years now, right?"

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha smiled as she seemed to listen in part to what he said. He could hardly talk about rushing children or the difficulties with it, given that his had fallen into his lap with most of the hard work done. He laughed lightly in agreement. ”The yearbook’s biased, it’s run by a gryffindor, it’ll be Kingsley,” he joked. ”She’s good, a fifth year and as cheerful as ever. I don’t know where she gets it, because I am certainly not that cheerful,” he shrugged, clearly unbothered by it. He didn’t need to be but he always thought it was a good thing that his daughter was a never emptying vat of optimism. ”Got any big plans for the semester?”​

 

[Professor Kahurangi Josephs]

Kahurangi chuckled at Misha's joke about the yearbook, nodding in agreement. "Oh no that's true. Guess we shouldn't get our hopes up." She smiled, taking a sip of her tea. Kahurangi listened as Misha talked about his daughter, chuckling softly at his comment. "Oh, I'm sure you've got a cheerful side somewhere deep down in there." She teased lightly, smiling. "That's good though, I'm glad she's doing well." She shook his head when Misha asked about her plans for the semester. "Same as ever, I've got the sixth years and that's the hardest year of my course, so I try to keep things as by the books as possible. How about you?" She asked. "Must be relaxing only having the upper years now."

 

[Professor Misha Haden]

Misha laughed lightly as she agreed with his joke. He was sure that it wouldn't be based on that, but it was an easy excuse if he didn’t end up winning the student’s favourite or anyone else but the head of Gryffindor did. He laughed in response to her teasing, ”You’ve just get to give me good coffee before I’m good to be cheerful,” he joked. Though he did love coffee and was something he liked to drink to make his days easier he wouldn’t say that he needed it. He nodded, he couldn’t remember much about Ancient runes from back in the day and it would depend too on how close the durmstrang course was to the Hogwarts one. He smiled in agreement. ”It is, very, I loved teaching the younger students, they have a good energy but it’s a lot easier to teach the older ones. Plus in seventh, the ones I’m teaching now, we do the patronus charm and that’s always really fun,” he said with a little smile. ​