Closed Unexpected

Felix Styx

d i s t r a c t e d
 
Messages
703
Blood Status
Muggleborn
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
Lani
Wand
Curved 17 Inch Swishy Larch Wand with Fwooper Feather Core
Age
12/2027
Felix was feeling incredibly anxious. After talking with Lanithro and figuring out how they were going to do this, Felix knew he had to come alone. Being faced with the both of them together would just make things worse and Felix felt bad enough about this as it was. He didn't want to hurt Lyra, absolutely not, but, he needed to take some time to explore himself. There were things happening with him now that he didn't completely understand and he knew that he owed it to her to be honest about this. The moment he'd made a decision, he'd come straight to her house. He didn't want to leave it too long and right ruining things even more, as it was he knew he'd screwed up. He'd asked her to marry him after all, and though it hadn't been a straight up yes, it had definitely not been a no either and now all Felix could think was that he'd betrayed her. She was with Ezra, yes, but he knew, he knew that she would have come to him. She loved him and he loved her and yet he couldn't stop himself from moving towards Lanithro. He thought Lyra could have forgiven him a drunken night, with time, but this? Actively choosing Lanithro over her? He wasn't sure he was comfortable enough to even begin to speculate on what was about to go down. Regardless though, he knew he had to tell her, because if she found out on her own, it would only make everything so much worse. The house was nice, much bigger than anything Felix had ever lived in himself. He wasn't all that surprised though, since he knew Lyra had money and Ezra owned the shop, so he clearly had money too. Felix, in comparison, barely afforded his coffee that morning. It was all only serving to make him feel even worse. He stepped up to the door and knocked. He wanted her to feel comfortable enough to listen. He would never do this in a public place like some people would do. Lyra deserved to be able to react however she wanted, and Felix would absolutely respect that. But he needed to do this, he had something with Lanithro he didn't understand and he owed it to himself to try. "Lyra, it's Felix."
 
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Lyra hated being pregnant because it meant a lot of people telling her wat to do and how she should do it. It also meant no quidditch which meant she was stuck sitting around far more than she ever wanted to. The blonde was surprised to hear a knock on the door and a familiar voice call her name. Lyra hadn’t been expecting Felix today, but he was never an unwelcome surprise. She threw open the door with a grin on her face with a look in her eyes that had always been reserved just for him. “Felix. I didn’t know you were coming over today but any day you do is automatically better..” she said, stepping aside to let him in the house. The necklace with his ring on it glittered above her shirt.
 
Despite his reasons for being here, seeing Lyra never failed to brighten his day. Then he remembered why he was here, and it was that thought that served to sober him, harden his resolve and allow him to follow her into the house without chickening out. He'd nearly chickened out a number of times before he came here, not because he didn't want to tell her, but because he didn't want to see the look on her face when he disappointed her. He smiled hesitantly at her as she spoke, looking around at the house. It was huge, as he knew, and it looked really nice. "Sorry for dropping by like this..." He started not wanting to get too comfortable. He didn't feel like he deserved her hospitality right now anyway. "But I need to talk to you."
Sorry, is crap xx​
 
Lyra rolled her green eyes as he apologized for dropping by. She had never minded before, especially now that they were finally in a good place. She hadn't said yes to his proposal, but he knew she would.Just as soon as she knew she wasn't going to die from the birth. Lyra couldn't marry him just to make him a widower. "You're always welcome here." Lyra said, meaning it as she said it. She led the way into the living room as he said he needed to talk. Lyra pressed a hand to her swollen stomach, feeling a foot or an arm jab at her ribcage. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked, curious. Felix seemed so serious which was not a mood she often associated with him.
 
Seeing Lyra, pregnant and happy to see him was almost like a dream, and he was about to break her heart. This was so hard for the former Hufflepuff, because he never wanted to hurt her and yet here he was about to do that to her. God, he was such a horrible person. He tried to smile at her, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t happy about this. He gestured to the lounge that they could both sit on, she would need to sit down for this, even if she didn’t need to, he wanted her to. She was under enough stress as it was and he was about to make it so much worse for her. “Lyra, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry.” He said, becuase he was. He didn’t know how else to bring this up than to just come right out and say it. “Lyra, I love you, I love you so much.”
 
Lyra was confused as Felix wanted her to sit down, but she did as he asked. What in the world was going on with him? First, he was apologizing, and then he was telling her he loved her. Maybe he got someone else pregnant? Not that she cared about that anymore. Lyra looked at Felix, touching his face lightly. "Actually, about that....I've been thinking, and I decided I don't care who the father of these babies is...I'm..ending things with Ezra. It's always been you, Fee. I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out. Let's get married properly. As soon as the babies are born and I'm not giant anymore." she joked, though she was serious about the marriage. Lyra was still afraid she would die in childbirth but she hoped this declaration would help her fight through this like Kelsey had suggested.
 
There were not a great many things that could hurt Felix anymore. He’d managed to keep himself mostly away from everything that hurt him, except for Lyra. After all, he loved her more than anything, even himself. Which was actually the problem. He knew he needed to see past her eclipse and there was only one way to do that. He knew this would hurt, but he didn’t see any other option. And then, she started telling him that she was going to end things with Ezra and he sucked in a breath, god he loved her so much, but he had to do this for himself. “Lyra, you have to know that I love you, I love you so, so much.” He started, holding her hands tightly and bringing them to his lips. “I will always love you.” But it was time to leave. Because needed to find out who he was without her. “But, something happened, and, I can’t marry you now.”
 
Lyra smiled at Felix as he picked up her hands, kissing them gently even though he was squeezing the crap out of them. Whether or not he loved her, was not something Lyra Potter had doubted in the last five years. His words changed that. The smile left her eyes. This was not the reaction she was expecting to her news. She had imagined kisses, lots of them, but that's not what she got. "You...can't marry..me?" she repeated, the words not making sense to her ears. She had wiped her expression clean, wearing the face her mother had taught her to wear at an early age to hide her feelings from the public. Felix had proposed to her in recent history. What had he done that was so bad? Did he marry Georgi? What happened?
 
Felix tried to breath through this, but he could feel the pain and panic sitting in the pit of his stomach. God he was a horrible person and he hated that he was doing this, but he’d bever put himself first and he knew he needed to learn how to do that. He needed something in his life that he could learn to grow outside of Lyra’s love. And he knew that he was going to tear her apart with this, because he was tearing himself apart too. And it was the worst thing he had ever felt in his life. “I’m so sorry,” he said, watching as the emotions he was used to seeing suddenly sealed up behind her wall. She’d done this to him before, closed herself off when things were hard, like when she’d broken up with him and that, more than this, was what hurt the most. She didn’t trust him enough to show him what she felt. And that sucked worse than anything else. “There’s someone else that I... I feel something for...” God why did this have to happen now. He loved Lyra, but he couldn’t be with her if his heart and mind were divided. “Lyra, I...” god he hated himself for this. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, I’m so sorry, but, it did and, I need to know if it could be something more.”
 
Lyra pulled her hands out of Felix's. She didn't want him to touch her, not now when he was telling her that there was someone else. Over the last four years, Lyra had thought she wanted Felix to find someone else to love. Someone to love that wasn't her. Lyra knew in this moment that she had been wrong. It felt like someone was slowly ripping her heart apart in little shards. The blonde had finally gotten what she wanted. Maybe this was best. Part of the reason she was going to break up with Ezra was for his protection. She knew he loved her more than he loved anything his life, and she was beginning to think he'd never recover if she died. Lyra hadn't planned to tell Felix she wanted to marry him. Not yet, but then he had shown up here unexpected, and she thought it was a sign they were meant to be together. Maybe it was a sign that she wasn't going to make it, and she needed to let go of the ones she loved. "Oh.. well.. I see." she said, biting into her lip. "Well maybe that's for the best. I want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted." she said, standing up and turning away from him. She moved to the mantle, looking at a picture of her parents. Lyra never wanted to hurt someone that way. It had been foolish to think she could be that happy.
 
She took her hands out of his and it was like she’d burned him. He dropped his hands to his lap, trying to think of what he could say to make this easier, but there wasn’t anything he could say, because he was telling her he couldn’t be with her. He needed to see what his life could be before he started thinking about the future. He’d never been in a real relationship outside of Lyra. He was a kid when they’d gotten together and then he hadn’t dated much at all when they were apart. He needed to know what a real adult relationship could be like, and he was sorry that it was Lanithro he’d felt something for, sorry for her, sorry that he had to do this, but he wasn’t sorry about Lanithro. As crazy as that still seemed to him, he’d misjudged him, he couldn’t believe they just clicked like that. But he was enjoying it and he wanted to explore this, whilst he could. He needed to know. He’d never thought that he would ever feel something for anyone else and now that he’d discovered he could, it was something he owed himself to let himself feel. “Lyra don’t say that please, I never wanted to hurt you, but with Lanithro it’s just... it’s just different and,” he sighed. She moved away from him and looked at pictures in the mantle. “He feels something for me and I feel something for him. I want, I need to know if there could be more. You understand that don’t you?”
 
It was a good thing Lyra was turned away from him when she heard the name that came out of his mouth. Her mask slipped and she turned around to face him. Lanithro. She had never heard Felix call him anything but Styx. "My Lanithro? You mean my best friend...the one that you hated...the one that watched me cry over you every night our last semester at Hogwarts...the one that knows exactly how I've always felt about you...the one that knows so much about you because I told him those things....yeah. I understand that." she said, sarcastically. Lanithro knew her. Maybe even better than Felix. The idea that he could have betrayed her in his way was more than she could bear. She'd never forgive him. Never. The blonde tore at the chain around her neck, ripping it off. She threw it at Felix with all of the force she could muster. "Get out and take that with you. Even if I live through this, I'm never going to marry you now." she said, tears welling up in her eyes. The hurt and betrayal hit her hard, but this is what Felix needed to hear. Let him go. Lyra quickly turned her back to him, not wanting to let him see her cry. She hated crying in front of other people. Especially strangers.
 
He knew he’d f*cked up the moment he’d said Lanithro’s name. He hadn’t meant to drop it so casually, but, he’d just needed to tell her. What he had with the blonde could be something and he wasn’t going to just hide that from her. But he didn’t mean to make her angry like this. He knew she’d be hurt, of course, but he hadn’t realised how close she had been to him. Of course he knew they were close, since Lanithro had told him she might be angry, but this was something else. He was glad he’d decided to do this alone because he knew now how much worse this would have gone if Lanithro was here. They were both hot headed, so similar in so many ways. Thinking about it, he wasn’t so surprised that it would be Lan of all people. He didn’t think he could bring himself to love someone who wasn’t like either of them. Because it was them and not their features he adored the most. Felix fell in love with a whole person and not just aspects of them. Although he never thought he would find that in anyone other than Lyra. So to hear her saying these things hurt, he knew that Lan would get over this, he didn’t seem to care about other people when he wanted something and it was kind of nice to know he could be wanted by other people since he’d spent so much of his time judging himself by her, that it was freeing to have Lanithro help him find himself in his other qualities. None of this was Lyra’s fault though and so he let her yell and have her say, because she deserved it. Then she tore his ring from around her neck and threw it at him. She was strong from her years as quidditch player and it hit him right in the mouth, busting his lip. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He put his hand to his lip to wipe away some of the blood before he stood up. “Despite what you think, I didn’t do this to hurt you.” He said, standing and moving to the door. He had to go. “And I will always love you.” He quickly exited before he could hear her cry.​
 
Lyra had stopped listening. She didn't know what he said, but she was aware that the door shut. He was gone. Lyra was hurting. Her heart was shattered from Felix, but it was Lanithro's betrayal that hurt her most of all. She had trusted him so completely, and he had gone behind her back to sleep with Felix. What kind of friend did that? How was she supposed to trust anyone ever again? They had both chosen each other over her, making their feelings about her very clear. She was disposable. Maybe it was all her fault everyone left her. Something about her that hurt everything she touched. Maybe she was the poison. So, she did what she always did, Lyra ran away. Maybe one day she would out run her problems.
 

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