Closed Two Weeks

[Einar Haines]

Einar nodded, waiting as Lucas pointed out the right star. ”That it is,” Einar just watched the sky, noting the star shoot across in the darkness and felt himself smile. He could almost feel his brothers around him, pointing it out and asking if he’d made a wish. He did’t have time for wishes any more. The only things he would wish for were never coming back. ”Did you wish for something good?” he asked after a moment, noting that unlike him Lucas had very clearly taken a moment to wish for something. Einar wasn’t going to ask for any specifics, just for if it was something good. He hoped it was a wish for his brothers too just stop but of course he couldn’t know or it wouldn’t come true. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas had just opened his eyes when he heard Einar ask what he wished for. He blushed, looking away. Had it been that obvious. "I... I wished that you could always be my friend," he admitted shyly. "I... I still think sometimes that you'll leave me," he spoke softly, looking down at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar listened to what his friend wished for, unable to stop the memories of his father, his brothers, his mother, saying they’d never leave him, promising the world to him, being ripped so violently from it. Einar’s hands began to shake, his breathing quickened and he shook his head. What was he doing….Lucas and Cassi would get poisoned by his bad luck. Lucas would end up dead because of him. Because he was around him. Einar put his head between his knees and took as deep breaths as he could, unable to stop his memories. His therapist had said this might occasionally happen, but it wasn’t particularly fun. ”I…,” he attempted to say, he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands. ”If I leave it won’t be because I want to,” he managed to say, the words were slow and forced out, but as the memories persisted he was gaining back some control.​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas's eye widened at Einar's reaction, his gut twisting. Why was it always like this, why did he always hurt Einar? He hesitated before laying a hand lightly on Einar's arm. "Einar- I'm sorry," He murmured, trying to get Einar to look at him. "Einar- please," He spoke softly, trying to catch his eye. "I didn't mean to..." He hesitated, he had observed Einar for a long time and knowing now what he did about Einar's past, he was... pretty sure he knew what Einar might be thinking. A little. "You aren't bad luck," He spoke softly. "I only see Aunt Cassi a couple of times a year. If I'm lucky. But you... you saved me. You're the best thing in my life," He blushed, looking away. "Bad things happen. I've never known anything else. But I do know that what happened... it wasn't your fault." He tried to catch his friend's eye.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar couldn’t help the tiny move away from Lucas’ touch, he knew the boy only meant well, and while he didn’t mind him grabbing his shirt, in a moment like this, he just needed the physical distance. He was hearing what lucas was saying but he just shook his head. He knew, logically he knew that he wasn’t bad luck, but it was so hard to believe that truly, to be assured of it enough to not think it. How else could his luck be explained. Everyone around him had all died. He only had Lucas and his aunt now. Einar shook his head. He looked up at his friend and sighed. If his mother had been alive to know Lucas he knew she would’ve loved him. Would’ve told him to listen to his friend. He nodded, but it was half hearted, ”I know,” he said but there was no real belief behind it. ”They...I….,” he tried to find words to explain how Lucas’ phrased had affected him, why. But he couldn’t find them. ”I miss them,” was all he said in the end, immediately looking away from Lucas as he said it, moving his arms to wrap around his knees. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas bit his lip when Einar pulled away from his touch. He turned, pulling his arms around himself and looking away again. When Einar spoke, Lucas knew he had messed up. He had never hated himself more as he did in that one moment. This is why you don't deserve friends, Lucas, this is why he's going to leave you. You're pathetic and weak. He bit his lip a little harder, trying to fight the urge to cry. "I'll... I'll give you some space," He spoke softly, moving to slide off of the car and away from Einar. He could probably slip into their bed without Cassi noticing he was upset.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar knew that he maybe hadn’t handle that particularly well as he watched his friend move away, but Einar made no move to chase after him. He just remained seat on the hood of the car. He let out a long and heavy sigh. He missed them. Sometimes he hated how much he missed them. He was just bad luck, he was just a bad person. He stayed on the hood of the car unable to bring himself to move and watched as the stars gave away to the morning sun and they call got back in and left. ​

​

---​

Some time had passed during the journey, he knew that Cassi had picked up on some difficulties between Einar and Lucas and he felt bad. For the first few days he just expected his social worker to turn up. Thinking that he’d hurt Lucas and Lucas’ aunt was bound to want him to leave. But it never happened and slowly things readjusted and they were good. It was nice to stay with them over this break. However, this had come a little crashing down, on this day. Einar had specifically carved out this day to go visit his mother’s grave for the first time. There hadn’t been anyone to take him over christmas. But seeing it, had just felt awful. Cassi had been polite enough to wait for him, off to the side, giving him the space to react how he needed to. But Einar had mostly sat in stone silence, staring at the words on the gravestone. It had never felt as real as it did then. He knew she’d probably wished to be with her husband or with either of her sons, but circumstances hadn’t been particularly kind to Einar’s family. He knew it would be too much to ask to go to the other graves, since they were so distant to this one. He had tears brimming but not once did he let them fall. Instead he’d just silently returned to the flat with Cassi and nearly without blink just sat on the sofa and stared forward. He knew he wasn’t being a good friend, but his heart felt too heavy to do anything but sit. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas felt awful. He was a horrid friend. He had kept a little bit of distance from Einar, self-doubt and fear constantly plaguing his mind as depression tore at his gut. He had tossed and turned a lot, barely sleeping night after night, until finally his sleeplessness caught up to him and he fell asleep around four in the morning. He slept most of the day, and felt groggy when he woke. He yawned, sitting up and looking around bleary-eyed. What time was it? Where was everyone? He shuffled out of the room, wrapped in his blanket. He spotted Einar on the couch immediately.

He looked over as Aunt Cassi announced she was making dinner. He shrugged, not wanting to admit how hungry he was. After a moment, he walked over and put in a movie. He took the pillow from one end of the couch and placed it against Einar's leg. He laid down, cuddling into the couch and keeping his attention on the movie. He wasn't sure if this was alright, he technically wasn't touching Einar, it was just the pillow. But he didn't want Einar to think he was alone, especially with a look like that on his face. Lucas didn't speak, watching the Disney movie he'd put in.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar was vaguely aware of Lucas as he came to sit with him. He didn’t move as a pillow was put on his lap and the familiar weight of lucas. He didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge him, he was vaguely aware of the tv in cassi’s flat, playing something. He wasn’t sure what it was he was seeing, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t actually care about it. He was just staring forward, his hands vaguely at his sides. He was just needing this time. In his mind’s eye all he could see was her. He could hear her voice, her laugh. The way she had spoken to him. The way she had always sounded so positive despite everything. He could feel the ghost of her touch on his hands, on his arms. He wished that she was there, that instead of being at his only friend’s aunts house with no real home of his own, he was back at his mother, that they were sharing dinner as he told her about quidditch. The first bit of real movement that Einar did was to quickly wipe his eyes with his sleeve. He didn’t know what he could do, what he could say. He just wanted to sleep. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas felt Einar shift and sat up. He crawled out of his blanket for a moment and walked off, coming back with another blanket and Einar's bear. He laid it over Einar, and put the bear in his lap, before wrapping back up in his cacoon and laying back down. He wasn't sure what had happened, or why Einar was so sad, but he would stay there. Quietly, giving Einar his space, but he didn't want his friend to be alone. It might have been a stupid idea- after all, no one had ever really wanted Lucas around, and never for very long, but he was going to try. In his own soft, subtle way, he wanted to be there for Einar.