Try to Understand but I Won't Get Far

[Odette Madison]

Odette wished she had never agreed to let Margo come home with her during the first few days of the holidays. If she had known what would happen at the yule ball (and it had NOT been her fault) she wouldn't have. But her mother had kept asking her about her friends in her letters to Odette, to the point where part of Odette had wanted to prove to her that she had made friends. She now wished she had asked one of her other friends to join her. But like it or not, Margo was the closest thing she had to a 'best friend', whatever that really meant.

Odette had pretended to sleep for most of the train ride to avoid the awkwardness that was between them now. It had been pretty obvious to everyone that Odette had thrown the drink over Margo on purpose. She had done it in a fit of anger and now wished she had handled it differently, though she wasn't sure how. She couldn't pretend to be sleeping once they had arrived, though, and led Margo silently to the part of the platform where her mother would be waiting, if she was on time. She wasn't. The two of them had to wait for a few minutes before her mother appeared. Rebecca walked to them while talking on her phone, a handbag dangling from her arm as she looked around. Odette found it quite impressive how she always managed to look incredibly busy and like you had to be lucky to get any of her time, when, as far as she knew, she only worked a few days in the week and didn't have to do much work outside of her shifts at the office. It was odd how being away from her for a few months each year made things like this clear to her. Or maybe she was just getting older. She smiled at her mother and let her kiss her cheeks, already preparing to tune out most of what she would say. This was part of the reason why she had picked Margo to come with her instead of her other friends, her mother would doubtlessly embarrass her, but she had thought Margo would at least continue to look up to her even if she did. She wasn't so sure about the others. But now it just felt like giving her ammunition to get Odette back for spilling her drink, she could only hope the other girl wouldn't be that crafty.

 

[Rebecca Cross]

Rebecca had been running a little late in picking up her daughter, and honestly, she wished she could just tell her to get home herself. From what age was that allowed? Surely a twelve year old girl should know how to get somewhere. But Odette was bringing a friend, and Rebecca didn't want to leave a bad impression on the girl, or more importantly: the girl's parents. She waved and turned off her phone as she spotted the girls. Lord, that Margo girl needed a stylist. She waved at Odette and gave her a fond smile as she kissed both her cheeks. "Odette, dear, do try to smile. Your resting face looks so angry. I can't believe how tall you're getting, let's hope you don't get too tall, darling. You do want to continue to be able to wear heels without scaring boys off, hmm?" She looked her up and down. "Well, let's go, we have a lot to catch up on, don't we? You hardly wrote me back this semester, but I'm sure you were very busy with your schoolwork. Let's hope we see that reflected in your results this semester." She then turned to Margo, looking delighted to meet her. "And you must be Margo, how lovely to finally meet you. Odette has told me a lot about you! I'm so glad she's been making friends. Or at least, a friend." She tutted. "Well, let's go girls, I still have to pick up dinner." She smiled and gestured for them to follow her.

 

[Margo Ellis]

Margo had never been the brightest crayon in the box, but even she couldn't help but notice the mounting tension between her and Odette. Despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary, the Ravenclaw still refused to believe her friend would throw her drink over her on purpose - though a small part of her couldn't dismiss it from her mind. She didn't even really care if Odette had done it on purpose; she just wanted an apology, a resolution of some kind. Sadly, by the looks of things, it wasn't likely to come; Odette had been 'sleeping' almost the entire way home, and didn't become much more talkative once they alighted on the platform at Obsidian Harbour. It was verging on ridiculous, now, but Margo didn't have a voice to raise it. Something was bothering her friend, she thought, and she wanted to know what.

Margo, who hadn't met Odette's mother before, peered curiously into the crowd, looking for the smiling, waving lady she expected her to be. No doubt she would be beautiful, too - Odette had to get it from somewhere. Indeed, there was a very beautiful woman in the crowd, but she wasn't smiling at all; she was distant, distracted, and talking into her phone. It was only as the girls came within earshot that she seemed to notice they were there at all. Margo smiled politely as Rebecca greeted Odette, hoping she was not about to receive the same kind of lecture. It was strange. Margo's mother liked her to look smart, but she didn't make her feel as if nobody would ever want to be her boyfriend if she grew an inch or two. Still the Ravenclaw held her smile, desperate to make a good impression on Odette's mother. She got the feeling she would have to.

Soon they were on their way home, though not before Rebecca rushed them around the harbour buying food for dinner. Margo wondered why she hadn't prepared beforehand, so that the girls wouldn't have to traipse around shopping after a long train journey, but thought better than to mention it. Within twenty minutes Margo was guiltily beginning to miss home, and she was staying at Odette's for a week. How was she going to cope?

Godmod approved

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette should have known by now that any attempts to block out her mothers comments were in vain. She always managed to hit her with at least one well placed barb, one that hurt. This time it was about getting tall, it had been something she was sort of proud of, but now that was squashed. She felt like an awkward giant all of a sudden, ungraceful and huge. She nodded and smiled, something she had perfected when she was nine. Her mother hardly ever noticed she wasn't really responding. Odette suspected it wasn't really about her response anyway.

She was starting to feel miserable. A small part of her always seemed to forget how her mother acted when she came home from school, and was always disappointed. She had also hoped that Margo's presence might make her less critical, but that clearly wasn't the case either. She hardly dared to look at her friend as her mother talked to her, both glad and annoyed that she didn't seem to find any fault with Margo. At least, not out loud.

The awkwardness between her and Margo didn't lessen as they were dragged along by her mother to shop for dinner. When they finally arrived home, Odette was exhausted. She took Margo up to her room with their things, feeling bad and irritable but for once not wanting to take it out on her friend. A part of her felt bad about what happened at the yule ball, though not entirely. Still, it nagged at the back of her mind irritatingly. It would be bad to be the first one to bring it up, though.

Odette's room was quite big, and her bed big enough for two people to sleep in. "I hope you don't mind sharing I figured it was better than the floor." She said with a shrug. Her bed was covered in a large purple blanket with gold swirls on it, as well as a bunch of tiny pillows. The floor was a soft white carpet and her large windows made the room look bigger than it was. Against one was was a white vanity, stocked with some make-up and jewelry, though nothing big and garish enough to really draw the eye.

Normally Odette would be concerned about impressing Margo with her room and stuff, but today she just didn't have the energy. She kicked off her shoes and sat down on the soft floor without caring about looking elegant or poised for once. She looked at Margo. "Today sucked, I'm sorry." She muttered. "You must wish you were home."

 

[Margo Ellis]

After what seemed like an eternity, Margo finally made it to Odette's house. It was a fancy place, much larger than the semi-detached building Margo lived in, but the Ravenclaw couldn't bring herself to feel excited about it. She'd rather have been sleeping in a barn for a week than here, where she felt about as welcome as an infestation of mice. Even once they'd hauled everything up to Odette's bedroom, which was everything Margo thought she'd ever dreamed of, she couldn't bring herself to comment. It was all so... superficial. Cold. She thought about the kind of reception Odette would have had at her house: smiles, hugs, cookies, the smell of a casserole cooking in the oven. Margo had always taken that sort of thing for granted - been embarrassed by it, even - but now she found herself longing for it more than ever before.

Finally, standing her trunks up where they wouldn't be in the way, Margo forced herself to smile. "Of course I don't mind," she said, and at least that much was genuine. Then Odette did something Margo had never seen before: she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the floor, looking almost beaten, worn down, defeated. Nervously Margo took her own shoes off, the carpet thick and plush beneath her feet. Then she sat down, too, a little way in front of her friend. "Not really," she said. "I mean, OK, it wasn't the best day of my life, but I'd rather be with you than anywhere else." She paused, burying her fingers into the thick carpet and stroking it. "Are you okay?"

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette half expected Margo to take advantage of her more vulnerable state, to take revenge on her for everything she had done to the other girl. But Margo wasn't like that, and Odette almost wished she was. It would definitely help her get rid of the guilty feeling that kept cropping up more and more. She had even dreamed about the stupid dress the night after it happened, how useless.

But Margo was as understanding and nice as always. On some days, Odette wondered if Margo really was better than her, on days like this one when she was just feeling tired and upset. She was sure Margo would never have thrown a drink at anyone, especially a friend. Her words were meant to be comforting but only made Odette feel worse, she looked down at her feet on the carpet. "I'm fine, I'm just tired." She told the other girl. "Are you okay?" The words weren't ones that came naturally, but she hadn't asked that question to her friend after the Yule Ball once. Maybe she hadn't even asked her that for as long as she had known her. "Did... did you fix your dress?" She added, her voice softer and almost nervous.

 

[Margo Ellis]

Margo nodded, thinking she understood; it had been a long day, long enough to wear anybody out. When the question was returned, Margo shrugged, a weird feeling she couldn't place forming in her chest. "I'm OK. A bit tired as well. That train journey felt, like, three times as long as usual, didn't it? And..." She paused, biting her lip. "Well, I've never actually stayed at anybody's house before, so it's a bit scary." Whether or not this vulnerable confession would some day come back to haunt her, Margo presently didn't care. Even if Odette did decide to use it against her (as so often seemed to be the case), the Ravenclaw had a deep trust in her friend that refused to be shattered, no matter how many times Odette took a hammer to it. Likely it had something to do with the fact Odette had been the first girl of Margo's age to ever have shown her kindness - and even if that kindness wasn't always genuine, it wasn't something Margo was willing to let go. Besides, she liked Odette a lot; they had fun together, when Odette wasn't making comments about the length of her legs (or lack thereof) or the frizziness of her hair. Those things, admittedly, Margo could have done without, but she wasn't going to sacrifice the best friendship she'd ever have because of a few mean remarks.

Odette's next question took her by surprise. "Yes," she said. "One of the older girls cleaned it for me with a charm." She decided not to mention bumping into Rose; she wasn't entirely sure how Odette would take it. "Odette... what happened that night? I know you wouldn't throw a drink at me on purpose, but you haven't really spoken to me very much since, and I feel like I've done something wrong." Suddenly, Margo knew what the weird feeling was. It was the realisation that that was the first time Odette had ever asked if she was okay.

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette played with her hair, a nervous tic she often tried not to give in to. She just felt so unsure of everything right now, so tired. Her walls weren't up as they usually were, which made her feel like she was as brittle as glass and as tiny as an ant. Margo could stomp on her easily, but for some reason her friend never seemed to. Why not? Odette always stomped on her, she always pushed her down. But Margo remained close and she remained nice to her. Why? She knew part of Margo was using her for a better status at school, for protection against bullying, and simply for companionship. But maybe it wasn't everything, and maybe Odette wasn't just using Margo either. They were just two girls right now, with no ulterior motives or secrets, and still they stuck together.

But Margo just had to ask her the question she didn't want to answer. Any other time she wouldn't have had any problem lying to her face and telling her it had simply been a mistake. But today she didn't know if she could. She'd rather not answer at all, but that would say more than words. How could it be that Margo still didn't think she had thrown it on purpose? Even Hayden had seen it, and he had known her only for a little while compared to Margo. Odette hugged her knees to her chest. "That boy with me Hayden? He was my date for the Ball." She told her friend. "He's a third year, I think I might... like him." She hadn't really thought about it a lot, but it sounded true to her own ears. "At least, I liked that he asked me. When he complimented you and when you flirted back, I just got jealous." She sighed, blowing a lock of her hair out of her face. "I guess I was insecure, for just a minute. Your dress was nicer than mine." In truth, she had the idea Margo had looked better in general but that wasn't something she wanted to say. She glanced at her. "I'm glad the dress was fixed." She offered. She hadn't actually apologized or even admitted she had done it on purpose, though it had been implied. But she hoped the other girl would accept it regardless.

 

[Margo Ellis]

Odette was beginning to look so uncomfortable, she was making Margo uncomfortable for her. What was going on? Why did Odette look so sad? Surely she couldn't actually have thrown it on purpose... The Ravenclaw's breath was practically baited in suspense as she watched her friend draw her knees up and hug them. She nodded along, recalling Hayden; he was the boy who's given Margo a compliment, moments before Odette had tripped. He was Odette's date to the ball? Slowly, so that it was almost visible in her eyes, Margo began to assemble the pieces of the story, the truth she'd so desperately denied dawning on her with horror. Odette had ruined her dress because she'd been jealous of it. Because she'd thought Margo looked better than her.

Before she could help it, Margo put a hand over her mouth and laughed. "Sorry - it's not funny," she said, even though she was still laughing. Finally she managed to compose her giggles, sobering. "It's just, if ever you had a reason for throwing juice at me, I didn't expect it to be that. You looked amazing that night, Odette. You were beautiful. You're always beautiful; much more than me. Honestly, you have, like, nothing to worry about. Even if I caught a boy like Hayden, I wouldn't know what to do with him!" The giggles were back, this time punctuated with snorts. "I'd probably just cover him in nervous word-vomit. Maybe even real vomit. That happened at a school disco when I was eight, it was a disaster." Margo grinned, and then, remembering the gravity of the conversation, turned it down a little. "Anyway, we've got a whole week together, and it's going to suck if I spend it holding a grudge for you, so, why don't we just forget about it?"

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette had expected Margo to do several different things. Maybe she would get angry and yell at her, maybe she would get sad and just go sort of quiet. Maybe she would walk out. What she hadn't expected, was for the other girl to laugh. Odette turned to look at her, incredulous. She listened to the other girl's words and then, oddly enough, started to laugh as well. "I don't know what to do with him either!" She admitted, giggling. "I've never had a boy like me before. I don't even know if he likes me. But I also have never vomited on one, which is something." She hesitated. "You did look good though, I mean, you're probably right. But you looked nice, I liked what you did with your hair." Odette couldn't believe Margo was suggesting they could forget about it. She didn't get how someone could just decide not to have a grudge against someone. She was fairly sure it didn't work like that, but she didn't want to ruin it. The moment felt special, like something that would never happen at Hogwarts. She was glad she asked Margo to come over, even with the awful impression her mother had probably made on the girl. "I'm sorry, anyway." She muttered. It wasn't much of an apology, she knew, but saying it made her feel weak enough. Margo should be happy to be getting this much, Odette hated apologizing.