Closed Truth or Truth

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel had never liked truth or dare. It was a silly game that always got out of hand, no matter who you played it with. Truth or truth, on the other hand, was a lot of fun - provided you trusted the other person, of course. Arvel did trust Abian. They'd been friends for a while, now, and were possibly about to get even closer. Nothing cemented a friendship quite like knowing each other's deepest, most embarrassing secrets.

Arvel stretched out his legs on the blanket, looking out over the calm, dark water of the lake. "Okay," he said. "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?" Personally, Arvel would have had a hard time picking just one thing he wanted to change about himself; his list was too long. Abian, on the other hand, was pretty great just the way he was, so Arvel was curious to know what he thought of himself.

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian really liked spending time with Arvel. It was still difficult for him to really realize the older boy liked hanging out with him too, that they were friends. Not just Quidditch buddies who practiced together, not just an older chaser helping a younger one. No, by now they were definitely friend, and it made Abian very happy. Arvel was cool, way cooler than one would think at first glance. He was sharp and had very funny jokes that you had to think about for a few seconds before you got them. At least, Abian did.

He was happy when the boy had asked him to hang out outside. Abian was happily sitting on the blanket, occasionally looking around at students wandering the grounds. The idea of truth or truth was fun to him, even if he'd never played it before. Abian usually liked the dares a bit better, but this would be fun. At least, he hoped so. If he had to, he knew he could lie. So far, he hadn't learned a truth detection spell. He just had to hope Arvel hadn't either. "I think I'd make myself... taller." He said after a moment. "No, wait. Smarter." He said, thinking it over for a bit. "Better at learning." He didn't look at Arvel, who he knew was very smart. This had started off a bit strange already. "Your turn. Have... you ever kissed anyone?" Abian had been hoping to ask this question. First, he'd wanted to build up to it a bit, but he had never been very patient. He looked at the older boy curiously.

 

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel frowned. Did Abian not think he was clever? Admittedly Arvel had never seen his grades, but he spoke intelligently enough, which would seem to indicate he had a wise head on his shoulders. He wanted to say something, to reassure Abian he was smart, but by the time he'd thought of a good way to word it, the subject had moved abruptly on. Colour suffused Arvel's cheeks. This had escalated more quickly than he'd anticipated. Not that he hadn't expected they would arrive here eventually anyway. "Yes," he said, his stomach clenching as he thought of Nixon. "A few," he added. Kisses during a game of spin the bottle probably didn't count, but he counted them anyway. "None of them really meant anything... Not to them, anyway." He shrugged, as if this didn't bother him. "My turn. Who do you have a crush on right now?"

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian knew his question hadn't been very subtle, and he looked sideways at him for his reaction. Abian had never kissed anyone, but last year with Arvel there had been a moment where he'd almost thought they were going to. His eyes flew wide when the boy said he had kissed a few people, and he bit his tongue to resist asking who. "Oh." He said sadly when Arvel said it hadn't meant anything to them. "That's stupid, you're awesome and I bet you're awesome to kiss." Abian blushed as the boy asked him a question in return and shifted a bit uncomfortably. He ducked his head. "Man, that's embarrassing." He mumbled, trying to evade the question. "I kinda like a couple of people. Just... a bit." He peeked at Arvel. "Do I have to say a name?" He asked as he met the other boy's eyes.

 

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel glanced sidelong at Abian. I bet you're awesome to kiss. That was a strange way to word it. Perhaps Arvel was just over-analysing, but it almost sounded like he'd put some real thought into it. Was it possible? Could Abian be gay? Last year, in the changing room, Arvel had almost kissed him. He'd only stopped himself because he didn't want to take advantage of him. Kissing was supposed to mean something. And Arvel knew first hand how it felt to be kissed by someone to whom you meant nothing.

Abian did mean something to Arvel, but it was their friendship he valued most of all.

He grinned as Abian squirmed under the pressure of answering. "Aye, go on," he said. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian had hoped for a bit of a reaction from Arvel when he'd made his offhand comment about kissing him, but there wasn't much. Abian huffed out a disappointed sigh. He wanted to just ask, but he was afraid of ruining this friendship. He still thought it was pretty strange Arvel even liked him enough to hang out with, and he feared ruining that. But Arvel was pretty insistent on his question, and Abian knew he had to answer. "Fine, but if you do tell anyone I'll hex you." He muttered. "And ... they're just dumb crushes, nothing big, okay?" He pulled his knees to his chest. "I kinda have a crush on... Jacob, I guess. The Gryffindor. But he's mostly my friend, so that's more important. And I like Emily too, she's in my year and she's really pretty and can skateboard." He blushed at the admission. "There's someone else too." He added, glancing at Arvel, the person in question. "But I already gave you two names, so I think I don't have to say his too." He said, chickening out of saying Arvel's name, though there was a part of him that hoped he would make the connection. Abian cleared his throat and looked away. "My turn. Have you ever... kissed a guy or wanted to?" The question came out in a bit of a rush, but he hoped it still sounded casual. But what he was really asking about was the moment in the locker room last year, and he wondered if Arvel could somehow sense that.

 

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel grinned. He'd learned something about himself today: he wasn't opposed to pushing people into admitting something they were embarrassed about. Well, it was all in the spirit of the game. "I won't!" he said, holding his hands up in earnest. He wouldn't have betrayed Abian's trust like that. He was curious, that was all.

The first name came as a surprise. Well, not a complete surprise, Arvel found himself thinking before he could help it; Jacob was kind of attractive. The second name was unfamiliar. And the third was... undisclosed. But the quick glance in Arvel's direction hadn't gone unnoticed. It gave him a strange feeling in his stomach. Not an unpleasant feeling. Not at all.

"Aye, I have," he said, gently, as if he was talking to a deer and didn't want to scare it off. Maybe he wasn't over-analysing. He held Abian's gaze carefully. "Have you? Or... do you want to?"

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian was a bit embarrassed to admit who he liked, especially to a boy he also liked. He glanced at Arvel after saying it, wondering if he was going to make fun of Abian now. But he said nothing about either name, not even Jacob. That was nice, and it made Abian relax. Of course Arvel wouldn't make fun of him, he was way too nice for that. He felt bad for thinking it at all. Abian's eyes widened a little as Arvel admitted that he had kissed a guy. Abian almost blurted out the next question, but realized that Arvel had asked him one. "I haven't." He said softly. "...But I want to." He noticed Arvel wasn't looking away from him, and it made him blush. His gaze moved from Arvel's eyes to his lips, and then he impulsively made a choice. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Arvel's. He'd wanted to do that all along, and now thought maybe Arvel did too. Oh merlin, he hoped so.

 

[Arvel Ayers]

This was wrong. Arvel didn't love Abian, not like that. He was using him. He was just as bad as Nixon. Yet this time, he didn't try to stop himself. He leaned in to meet Abian's lips, and for a few seconds he forgot he owned lungs. He'd wondered what this would feel like, daydreamed about it, but now he realised how weak his imagination was. Before he could get carried away, he pulled back. "Sorry," he said, shaking his head. How could he explain? "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I just... don't want to hurt you." Of course, there was a possibility Abian wouldn't have minded kissing Arvel just for fun. But he minded. "Sorry."

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian's heart leaped when he felt the pressure of Arvel's lips against his own. He was kissing him back! Abian felt like this was a pretty good first kiss, and was just about to get comfortable when the other boy suddenly pulled away. He blinked in confusion at Arvel as he apologized, and frowned at his words. "Uh, I want to kiss you too. I don't think it would hurt unless you like... bite, or something." He said, blinking a bit more. "Was I terrible?" He added, trying to understand why Arvel had stopped just as it had started to feel pretty nice.

 

[Arvel Ayers]

Abian didn't understand. Of course he didn't. He was so young. Not that much younger than Arvel, admittedly, but Arvel had matured a great deal in the last eighteen months. "What? No!" he said, horrified that he'd made his friend feel that way. "No, you were... great. Really. It was really good." He looked down at his hands and sighed. Maybe if Nixon had just been honest with him, it wouldn't have hurt so much. Maybe Nixon had thought Arvel was too young, too immature to understand, when in actual fact he wasn't. "There was this boy I really liked, and... I thought he liked me, too. He kissed me like he did. Twice. Turns out I didn't mean anything to him." Why did it still hurt so much? "I'm not saying you don't mean anything to me. But I like you as a friend. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to do what he did to me."

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian frowned in confusion at Arvel's words. He didn't understand, but was starting to feel like Arvel hadn't enjoyed the kiss, which was making him feel bad. He was only more confused when Arvel said that the kiss had been really good. Then what was the problem? He waited anxiously for Arvel to explain, listening quietly as the boy explained his own situation. Abian's shoulder sagged a little as Arvel said he didn't want to do what he had done to him. "Well... I like you as a friend too." Abian said. It was mostly true. He had a bit of a crush on Arvel, but he had crushes on a few people. "I'm not... in love with you or anything. But I like kissing you, and if you liked kissing me... why can't we?" He asked, genuinely curious. "Why can't we be friends who kissed twice, or three times?" He said, a shy smile on his face. "Or once. But I'm hoping to get at least one more out of this." He admitted.