Closed Time Ticking Away

[Tristan Collins]

At the start of Tristan's fifth year, he had been extremely confident about the OWLs at the end of the year. It had seemed very far away, and so far he had always done well on his exams. Hard work was required, of course, but he was also smart and good at magic so he knew he shouldn't struggle too much. He was sure that by now no one could guess he was muggleborn simply from looking at him perform spells, which had been his goal from his first year. But the fact that all the exams were around the same time rather than spread out over the two semesters was only now starting to hit home. Every time the boy looked at the enormous pile of books waiting on his bedside table his stomach clenched in anxiety. On top of that, every exam was not just about the previous year but instead the past five years. It really was a lot, and he had a few subjects he was less than confident about. He wasn't sure if it was smart to focus on those a lot, because then other subjects might get ignored. He had made a planning and was mostly sticking to it, but it was difficult when he had the feeling he still wasn't completely grasping Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. Those two subjects were the bane of his existence, but he knew he needed them.

The boy was in a sour mood. He had just spent a few hours studying in the Prefect's common room but he hadn't covered nearly as much material as he would have liked. He had expected to breeze through the Transfiguration notes from his third year, but he had forgotten more than he had expected. He was glad October hadn't been there to quiz him, as he would have surely embarrassed himself in front of her. It was nice to study with his girlfriend sometimes, but he wasn't a fan of how she seemed to be better than him at a lot of things. Her brightness had been one of the things that had attracted him to her, but he didn't want to look bad next to her. He made his way into the corridor with a frown on his face, mentally still going over the notes he had just studied. He needed a break now, so he would return to the common room. Maybe Vivian would be there, he always managed to cheer Tristan up.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

The ever-onwards creep of exams was beginning to claw at Vivian more and more as the days went by, dread filling him every time the subject was broached in class. He had never gotten especially good grades, usually preoccupied with other things, and it was only now beginning to truly strike him that that could be a problem, very soon. He had been doing his best to study but his thoughts kept wandering, and after a few hours of this, Vivian had given up for the day. He had taken a walk outside to try and clear his head, but the weather was turning for the worse, and he didn't really want to get rained on.

Out of options, Vivian had decided to just head back to his room. Maybe after the walk he would be able to get more done. As he made his way down the corridor though, he quickly spotted someone very familiar up ahead. Oh, thank god. He knew Tristan was preoccupied studying too, but hopefully he was in the mood to unwind. Speeding up, Vivian quickly caught up with Tristan. "Hi." He said softly with a small smile, glancing down at his boyfriend.

 

[Tristan Collins]

As if Tristan’s thought of the other boy summoned him, Vivian caught up with him and greeted him. Automatically, Tristan glanced around to see if anyone of interest would possibly see the two of them together, even though all they were doing so far was talking. He didn’t want October to get any sort of suspicion about him and Vivian, and she could be on her way to the prefect’s common room herself. But he couldn’t deny that it was nice to see the other boy. Though walking next to him like this reminded him of how unfair it was how much taller Vivian had gotten than him over the past few years. Tristan had given up hope of catching up. “Hello, what are you doing here?” He asked, stepping aside just slightly to create a bit more distance between them, though he smiled back at Vivian. “Were you looking for me?” He asked in a slightly lower voice, hoping that was true. He couldn’t really think of any other reason for Vivian to hang around here, so he assumed it was at least partially the case. “I was just returning to the common room. We should walk together.” The way he spoke to Vivian when they were in public like this was a lot more formal than he was when they were together, but that was logical.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

As he fell into step with Tristan, Vivian could already feel his worries over his dismal grades lifting. The whole world somehow always just felt less worrisome with Tristan by his side. He supposed that was part of what made them so special, that just being around one another made the troubles of the world fade away to nothing. "I was just going for a walk, but it started raining." Vivian said gently, a small smile curling onto his face as he added in a lower tone, "Seeing you is just a nice bonus." He didn't know if his confidence had been growing this year, or if it was simply the effect Tristan had on him, but Vivian was finding it easier and easier to say things that would have previously stayed in his thoughts. Tristan had always been easier to talk to than other people, but he didn't know if the Vivian of a year ago would have said something like that in public, even if there wasn't anyone paying attention to them. He nodded in response to Tristan's request, sticking his hands in his pockets as they walked. "How has your day been?"

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan was a lot more alert of his surroundings now that he was with Vivian, and also alert of the way he was holding himself. He couldn’t seem too familiar, but he also had to be friendly. He rather hoped they wouldn’t run into anyone he didn’t want to while they walked back to the common room, because it was all too easy to forget the rest of the world when he was with Vivian. It scared him sometimes, how much he liked the other boy. It was way easier to be with October or even Kauri back in the day. With them, he felt like he was in control of his own feelings and emotions. Of course he liked October and he was definitely attracted to her, but she didn’t have the ability to make him lose control. Vivian did. He was a little sad Vivian hadn’t come to seek him out, but he also knew it was probably his own fault. He had told Vivian they could only be together within the confines of their dormitory, so it wasn’t strange that Vivian wasn’t going out of his way to look for him outside in the corridors. He did smile at the comment about it being a bonus, giving him a glance from the corner of his eye. “Isn’t rain supposed to be inspiring for poets like yourself?” He asked, his voice casual. “I would think it would suit your art.” He always liked teasing Vivian about his poetry, though never in a bad way. He thought things like poems were a bit of a waste of time, personally, but he couldn't deny he liked the things Vivian wrote. Especially when it was about him. He felt himself move slightly closer to Vivian again as they walked, though he was careful not to even brush against him. “My day has been alright, I’ve just been frustrated with Arithmancy but you have listened to enough of my rants about the subject.” He gave Vivian a slight smile. “What about yourself?”

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

It felt normal to Vivian, to walk at a distance from Tristan. They had been doing this dance for years now. Apart in public, inseparable when they were alone. Vivian always told himself it had never bothered him, but as a couple passed them in the opposite direction holding hands, he felt a momentary pang of jealousy. He still wondered, occasionally, when the time would be right for them to stop hiding. Quiet, secret love suited his shyer side, but there was a part of him that longed to be seen, to be known. He pushed it down though and focused on the moment, laughing softly at the teasing in Tristan's voice as he responded in kind. "You've inspired more of my poems than the rain ever could." He said softly, leaning down a little to make sure nobody else would hear. He nodded slightly as Tristan talked about his day, a little relieved that Tristan wasn't going to go on about Arithmancy again. He couldn't fathom why Tristan didn't simply drop the subject, but he didn't really feel like bringing that up. "I've been studying too, but I needed some fresh air. It's getting cold so quickly though..."

 

[Tristan Collins]

The near-empty corridor and the quiet sound of the rain against the windows as they walked made Tristan feel almost at ease with Vivian. For a moment he wondered why he hadn’t just let this be the way things were, why he hadn’t let them be together. Selfishly, he knew he wouldn’t have liked to give up on other relationships. The original reasons for not dating Vivian were slowly becoming secondary to that. He didn’t think Vivian was too weird to be seen with as a friend, so the step to boyfriend really wasn’t that big. But Tristan liked dating people that were more high-profile, he wanted to be noticed and talked about. That simply wasn’t happening with Vivian. But when the boy leaned in and told him he inspired more poems than rain, Tristan forgot himself for a moment. His heart sped up, and stopped walking as he put his hand on Vivian’s arm. He nearly kissed him right there, but the memory of what happened with Kauri held him back. He loved Vivian, he knew he did. Moments like this made him all the more sure about it, though he often tried not to linger on the exact nature of his feelings. Somehow, what he was doing didn’t seem to make much sense whenever he focused too much on his feelings for Vivian. Because really, deep down, no one compared for Tristan. He realized they had been standing still for a moment and cleared his throat, a blush forming on his face. “Well. Let’s find some way to get warm when we’re back in Hufflepuff, then.” He said, his tone formal despite the layered meaning of his words. He dropped his hand and straightened his tie, a little embarrassed by the lack of composure he had just shown. Why did Vivian have the power to make him forget about his surroundings and himself? It was a dangerous trait, but also one he couldn't get enough of.

 

[Kauri Morales-Tipene]

With exams coming up, Kauri was actually beginning to feel the strain of his studies a little. If fourth year was this much work, he couldn't imagine what OWLs were going to be like next year. His usual cheerful smile didn't have the same heart behind it as he made his way down the hallway, mind preoccupied with worries about the work he had been revising for Ancient Runes. It disappointed Kauri a little that he and April didn't have many classes together. Revision would be a lot more fun if he could work with his best friend, that was for sure. Although Kauri found himself getting homesick less and less often the longer he was at Hogwarts, he found himself striving for the holidays, just a couple of weeks away. Nothing to worry about, nothing important to do, and he could just relax, watch some TV and catch up with his old friends from primary school. He enjoyed seeing his muggle friends a lot, but it was always a little saddening to return home and find out how much was changing without him, how distant his friends had become in his time away.

Kauri's melancholy was abruptly interrupted by the sight of Tristan just ahead as he made his way down the hallways. He had learned to tolerate the other boy's presence throughout the year, for the sake of Brotherhood planning, but the thing that really shook Kauri was the boy Tristan was walking with. There was no doubt about it, he was the same boy from the moment burned into Kauri's memory, the one Tristan had been kissing in the corridor. They were talking closely, clearly focused on one another, and Kauri's blood turned to ice as he saw Tristan touch the other boy's arm, took in the meaningful gaze between them. Kauri knew Tristan was seeing April's sister now, but he had hoped desperately that this other boy had just been some... isolated mistake, that he was in Tristan's past now. This clearly wasn't the case though, judging by how closely they were walking, and Kauri's mind raced with anger and concern. The thought that Tristan would betray someone else in the same way after seeing how badly Kauri was hurt was despicable, sending waves of fury through him, but what to actually do with this information was another thing. If he told October or April he would be breaking a promise, and he didn't really want to find out what Tristan's wrath was like. And he couldn't even be sure that this was anything. Maybe they were just friends now. Second guessing himself, the only thing Kauri could think to do as he walked past Tristan was give him the iciest gaze he could manage, stomach twisting with uncertainty as he did.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian wasn't often confident enough to say poetic things out loud, preferring the safety of mulling them over in private and putting them to paper before giving them to the recipient. After seeing the effect his words had on Tristan, though, Vivian couldn't help but think he should try this kind of thing more often. Even if it was only for a moment his arm felt warm where Tristan had touched it, and he couldn't quite wipe a smile from his face. Moments like this reassured Vivian that however unconventional their public lives were, what he and Tristan shared was real and special. He could put up with any level of unusual public life for something so important. He chuckled softly at Tristan's comment, but before he could think of anything to say in response, Vivian's heart froze as he spotted the cold glare being directed towards them. He cursed himself for not paying attention to his surroundings, shrinking a little away from the boy's gaze, guilt blossoming inside him once again. It was a painful reminder of the price for their lack of care. Suppressing the part of him that felt guilty for what they were doing at all, Vivian tried to focus on the growing part of him that answered the question 'what would Tristan do?'. This was just a reminder to be careful. If they were careful, nobody would get hurt. That was all that mattered about this guilt.

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan was trying in vain to control the blush on his cheeks. Something about hearing Vivian say things like that was different than anything he felt with October or had felt with anyone else. Why did his words affect Tristan so much? The poetry probably had something to do with it, but the fact that it was Vivian was a bigger part of it all. But he was composing himself quickly, ready to return to the common room in a casual manner. Unfortunately, before he could start walking again, he noticed something in Vivian’s expression that made his body tense up. He turned to follow his gaze and felt his heart drop a little as he saw Kauri there. How could it be that this boy was always right there when he least wanted him to be? It was like he was cursed, and Kauri was some sort of vengeful ghost reminding him of his past mistakes. That was a silly thought to have, but this did seem like too much of a coincidence. Was Kauri trying to catch him? To ruin his reputation? He really needed to be more careful. He could tell from what he saw of Kauri’s face that the boy was uncertain about what he was seeing, and that was a good thing. Tristan raised his chin in a bit of defiance, challenging him to say something. But he didn’t. Kauri walked past them and Tristan watched him go. He was tempted to stop the boy, to say something to him, but he had the feeling any sort of action to silence him would actually be a potential push for Kauri to say something. He did seem very close to October’s sister, and Tristan didn’t need anything to happen to his relationship with October. Feeling a bit doubtful, Tristan watched him go. The moment Kauri was out of earshot, he looked at Vivian. “We should be more careful. Let’s go to the common room separately.” He said, stating it as a fact rather than a suggestion. “You go first, I’ll take a longer route.”