Closed 'Til I Stop Pretending

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Today was a big first for Vivian. After years of either skipping school dances, or attending only to lurk in the distance trying not to watch Tristan with whoever he was dragging around this year, Vivian had a date of his own. His last date with Hudson had been nice, and he had been pleased to discover he actually quite liked the act of going on a date. It was hard to know what to do on a date, after years of a relationship hidden behind closed doors, but the trip had been quite nice, and Vivian had been happy when Hudson agreed to attend the Yule Ball with him. And now the day had come, Vivian looking around as he entered the Great Hall arm in arm with Hudson. It had come as a shock to him, Tristan's girlfriend breaking up with him right before the ball, and if it hadn't been for Hudson, Vivian was quite sure he would have asked Tristan if they could finally go together. The reason for secrecy had been their youth, after all, and they could hardly be considered young students anymore. Hudson was in the picture, though, and the voice Vivian was desperately trying to ignore would have called him scummy relentlessly for cancelling on him so suddenly for a date with Tristan. It hadn't mattered for long, anyway, as Tristan had somehow managed to secure himself a new date seemingly immediately, and Vivian was telling himself firmly he wasn't bothered by that at all. It only made it easier to focus on Hudson. Ignoring the sight of Tristan talking to his date, Vivian turned to Hudson, giving the younger boy a nervous smile. "What would you like to do first?"

 

[Hudson Worth]

Hudson stood by Vivian's side not fully ready to enter the hall but going along with the older guy anyways. He had a crush on Vivian from almost the first time they sat under the stairwell in the Owlery together. He never thought he'd be going on dates with the guy, feeling miles below in league. The Ravenclaw also knew that dates weren't something concrete, whatever this was with Vivian was completely in the older boy's hands. Hudson was completely smitten though he tried his best to hide his emotions and feelings. "We could dance," he said nodding towards the other couples that were sharing the dance floor. The songs were upbeat and themed for the holidays and a good mix of rock songs mixed in with completely magical themes. Hudson knew little of what Christmas songs in the muggle world were like, he had been raised in a very well off family that hardly tried to hide their distaste for muggles and things of that part of the world. Hudson never really felt that way and enjoyed muggle stories of Knights and daring missions as a young boy. He took Vivian's hand and started moving towards the dance floor, his long and lanky limbs beginning to move in slightly awkward ways, but at least everyone else looked weird too.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian hadn't been sure if Hudson would want to dance right away, but he was pleasantly surprised when the boy suggested it at once. Even if they had both been a bit clumsy and uncertain, he had enjoyed dancing with Hudson at last Valentines, and was happy for a repeat. Vivian accompanied him onto the dance floor, and started dancing with Hudson, smiling nervously. It was difficult to figure out how to move, with Vivian's very limited practice dancing, but it was fun nonetheless, even if their movements were a bit awkward, and he met Hudson's eyes, smiling warmly. Hudson was fun to spend time with, and Vivian realised he could get used to this. "Are you having fun?" He asked, wanting to make sure the other boy felt the same.

 

[Hudson Worth]

Hudson met Vivian's eyes and he smiled towards the older boy, still a shy smile, this was the first time he had gone with a date to the Yule Ball. In the past he had considered asking a certain friend. But he had thought that might lead her to think he liked her, and well he clearly didn't. Though maybe it hadn't been clear to others that he was interested in Vivian. He hadn't a friend to talk about his feelings too, feeling insecure about them at first. But now they were dancing together and he didn't feel too nervous about it, other than trying not to step on Vivian's toes. "Why did you pick me?" He asked in return to Vivian's question and very suddenly. He wanted to know, what was it about him that drew Vivian in. He was younger and used to be smaller, though Hudson quickly felt that he was gaining on Vivian's height advantage. Fleur always forced him to dress up and used him often for makeup testing, saying he resembled a girl more than a boy, he wondered if that was what Vivian liked. He liked Vivian's eyes the most, that was what always drew him in, the concentrated look whenever Vivian was working on something else.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

However nervous he was about tonight, once they found a rhythm dancing was something Vivian could at least handle fairly confidently. There wasn't much to it, stepping side to side slowly with someone. Just when everything seemed like it was going well though, Hudson responded to his question with another question, that tripped Vivian's thoughts up. How was he supposed to answer something like that? "I... I don't know?" He answered hesitantly, trying to figure out what to say. "You're... I like talking to you..." He said uncertainly. It was the truth, but he didn't know what Hudson was expecting to hear from him. "I don't... talk to many people. You're nice."

 

[Hudson Worth]

Hudson hadn't thought Vivian was as recluse as he himself was. He was surprised that Vivian thought him interesting, Hudson had always found himself growing more boring as age. There was no great adventure to go on at school anymore, the halls grew smaller and his imagination did as well. "You're nice too," Hudson said looking at the ground unsure what to say, not feeling confident at all. "Uh, yes, let's get some food," he said breaking their dancing rhythm, though he didn't run right towards the food. He didn't want Vivian to think he had hurt his feelings with the words he had chosen. In truth, Hudson hadn't even thought the question through before he had asked it. "I just, I never really thought anyone would like me, ever," Hudson said feeling more nervous by the second as he stood there facing Vivian. He pushed his hair back from his face. "I've probably said that before," he said sounding slightly panicky. His mind kept running on about how uncool he must look in that moment. But fear of scaring Vivian off was trumping all coherent thoughts and he did it. His hands reached up for Vivian's face and he pulled the older boy closer and leaned up himself, kissing Vivian on the lips. Completely out of hiding now, Hudson was kissing the one person he hadn't been able to ever really stop thinking about since meeting him.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian was relieved that he seemed to have said the right thing, smiling nervously as Hudson returned the compliment. "Thanks." He said quietly, face flushed slightly. It was nice to hear things like that from someone other than Tristan. Vivian didn't talk to many other people, but it made him feel a bit better about himself. Hudson abruptly stopped their dance after that, and Vivian worried something he had said or done had been wrong. He waited uncertainly, letting Hudson lead if he wanted to go get food. The boy didn't move though, and after a moment began talking again, and Vivian finally realised why Hudson was acting so strangely. "I... never thought anyone would like me either." He said quietly, and it was partially true, though his stomach twisted with guilt. Vivian had never thought anyone would like him... until Tristan. Though he had kissed several other people since, Vivian had resigned himself a while ago to thinking of himself as not good enough to actually date in public. There was something about him that made people only want to be around him secretly, in the shadows. Hudson wanted to be with him though, here, in public, and there was something special about that. Before Vivian could go on though, Hudson had reached for him, and Vivian's heart thumped as he felt soft lips against his own. This felt different to kissing Flavio in the garden, or Vincent in an empty classroom, or anyone else he had shared secret moments with. This even felt different to kissing Tristan. Someone actually wanting to show the world that they wanted him, there was something special about that, and Vivian felt his pulse through his whole body as he kissed back, gentle and steady, letting his hands fall on Hudson's hips.

 

[Hudson Worth]

Hudson was lost in the moment, he was kissing Vivian at the ball, on a date with him. It was weird thinking this was real but it was. Vivian was even kissing him back, of course Hudson hadn't ever kissed anyone other than Vivian but he thought it was a really nice feeling. He broke the kiss leaning backwards wondering how many were staring at them but also not caring in the slightest. He had thought the older student had dated before him but with his words he wasn't too sure about that. Vivian always seemed so experienced and confident it was nice for Hudson. He hoped they'd be able to go on another date soon, maybe one where they wouldn't be so dead center of attention by the entire school population. But he thought it wasn't the worst thing, at least his date liked him back. "Right, so uhm, food then?" He asked offering his hand to Vivian.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

There was something special about kissing Hudson, and Vivian didn't want this moment to end. He felt seen, in a way he had never known he wanted to be seen before, and it was incredibly nice. All nice moments had to end eventually though, and when Hudson pulled away Vivian moved back too, not wanting to crowd him. He knew his face was flushed, could feel the heat in his cheeks, but also couldn't quite keep the smile off his face. When Hudson suggested they get food Vivian quickly nodded, lacing his fingers gently with Hudson's as he took the boy's hand. "Let's..." He said gently, smiling.