Tickle the Pear

[Kale Thomas]

It had started out as a horrible day for Kale.

He had woken up late, missed breakfast and was already tardy for Astronomy class. Of course he already believed that class was a pathetic waste of time, so he wouldn't even bother showing up today. Kale's stomach made of funny noise, he looked down as his mid section and sighed. He was a growing boy, of course he wouldn't just skip a chance to eat if he could help it. At that, the Slytherin fourth year 'tickled the pear' of the still life portrait and entered the large kitchen. He was greeted by a stampede of house elves more than enthusiastic to serve him. Kale looked down at the servants and scratched his chin, he looked even taller than his normal lanky height standing next to the elves; almost like the size of a troll and a normal human being. He marveled at the thought and smirked.

Kale rejected their services politely, not ever had been rude to a house elf before. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he definitely wasn't a bully, especially to the creatures that prepare your meals. He also wasn't stupid, you never know what could 'slip' into your soup or mashed potatoes at supper time if you were to anger one of them.

Kale poked about the kitchen, his stomach's boisterous antics getting the best of him. Because of Kale's 'boniness', he sure did have an impatient stomach when it came to hunger. With a flick of his wand he opened the cupboards and closed them shut until he found something that he wanted. He could have always just had one of the house elves make him a sandwich while he waited tapping his foot even more anxious than his stomach, but Kale already rejected their services and was going to fend for himself.

With a couple more swooshes and flicks of his wand, Kale stopped at a cupboard that was lined with boxes of chocolate chip cookies. He reached for the top shelf, not even having to use the tips of his toes to reach and yanked the box from the shelf. Kale opened it up and shoved two cookies into his mouth. Sure, it wasn't breakfast or lunch food for that matter, but he was damn hungry and cookies were just as good as a sandwich at this point. Kale lifted himself onto the counter top and sat down, shoving another two cookies into his mouth.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily was starving. She overslept and missed breakfast, and they got out of Astronomy a bit early today, so she decided to head down to the kitchens and get a bite since lunch was a ways off yet. Once she arrived in the basement, she found the special portrait that was the entrance to the kitchens. She had been down here before with Courtney and a few others baking brownies that did not turn out so well.

Stepping into the portrait hole, she was always amazed by the mixture of delicious scents that would assult her. A large number of the house elves were running to her, greeting her and asking to help her out. "I would love to have a glass of sweet tea please. And may I make a sandwich? I actually miss being able to build my own," she said, looking down at the little faces that were seemingly overjoyed to have company.

One of the elves lead her over towards a counter that she could use to make her sandwhich. As they rounded the corner, Lily jumped a bit in surprise. She was not expecting to see Kale sitting on the counter muching away. "What are you doing here?" she said with a laugh.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Sitting on the counter top, Kale munched at his box of chocolate chip cookies. He wasn't really feeling the satisfaction he was he hoping for. He could hear the pitter patter of the elves feet scurrying around on the floor below him, they sounded like they were trying to keep themselves busy.

As he turned his head to look in the cupboard that was behind him, Kale smacked the side of his face with the door of the cupboard when he turned at the sound of Lily's voice. The counter tops cupboards were too short for the lanky boy to sit comfortably without injuring himself. Poor Kale, he always had been oblivious to his surroundings. He rubbed side of his face with his left hand and placed the box of cookies to the side. "Ouch!" Kale muttered loudly, his tone at first not his normal greeting he would usually use with Lily.

"I decided to ditch out on Astronomy." he told her, his hand still caressing his face. Kale then looked at Lily, "Wow, I never thought I would see this day happen..." a small smirk began to creep onto the corners of his mouth, he took in a dramatic breath and continued. "A Ravenclaw. Out of class?" Kale's eyes widened with mock shock. Of course he was just teasing his friend. Kale shoved his hand into the box of cookies and his expression went grim. It was now empty. There is no way I ate a whole box and am still starving.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily laughed as Kale smacked his head on the cupboard. "Nah. I am not out of class. We got out a bit early today. It was a snooozefest as usual." She walked over to Kale, reaching him just as an elf came with a glass of tea for her. "Thank you," she said taking the glass from him and setting it on the counter. Another elf came and pointed at the counter a bit further down. A number of items were set up for her, so she could make any sort of sandwhich she would desire. Quietly she thanked the other elf, and looked back at Kale. "I noticed you weren't there. There was no snoring from the back of the room." She gave him a snarky smile, teasing her boyfriend's roommate.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale smiled crookedly at Lily as she laughed at his uncoordinated antics of hitting his head. He pushed himself off of the counter top and got back onto his two feet. It was much safer that way. When Lily teased him about his usual snoring at the back of the class, Kale let out a soft laugh and cocked his head to the side. "Do I really snore that loud?" he inquired, his eyes widening slightly at her snark-like smile. Kale noticed the house elf preparing a spread for Lily, they seemed to set out any condiment you can imagine in your wildest dreams, he nodded satisfied. Those little elves sure did work their butts off to assist students, "What's this, a build your own sandwich buffet?" he teased Lily back as his nostrils averted his eyes to the spread on the counter.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily teased Kale. "Well, there is this constant rumble from the back of the class anytime you are there." She smiled and gave his arm a fake punch. She took a step closer to the counter with the buffet spread out before her. "Wow. Those elves really outdid themselves. Wanna have a sandwich with me?"

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale bit his lip, his ears suddenly felt warmer than the rest of his face. I guess I do store pretty loud. Luckily Blake and Ford never complained about it in the past. Maybe it was just a thing that happened in class? For now, Kale shrugged of the embarrassing fact he had just learned about himself. When Lily invited him to make a sandwich with her, Kale scratched his chin. He still was hungry, and that box of cookies didn't do his stomach any justice. The Slytherin boy nodded his head and accepted the offer, "You know, a sandwich actually sounds pretty good right now." Right on cue, his stomach growled. Kale smirked at the sound and looked down at the loaf of bread on the counter, "What's your favorite kind of sandwich, Potter?" he taunted; his and Lily's friendship was somewhat based on teasing each other. At least that was what Kale caught himself doing a majority of the time, and her teasing back. Either way it was out of good, clean fun.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily laughed as Kale's stomach growled loudly. "Sounds like your stomach loves the idea." She grinned at him, then turned to the amazing amount of food spread out before her on the counter. "Well, I like roast beef on whole grain bread. Not totally sure what I am gonna put on top of it this time. What about you? What is gonna attempt to fill up your stomach, Thomas?" She elbowed him in the ribs as she said his name, teasing him back as was for some reason irrisistable to her. She began to build her sandwich, taking two slices of bread and laying them on one of the plates that were on the counter. She then started to pile up the roast beef and added a slice of pepperjack cheese.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale stood at the counter with his finger tips tapping on the surface of it. He wanted to think about the kind of sandwich that he wanted, nothing exactly as complex as roast beef and pepper jack cheese. "Roast beef? It sounds like you can make a mean sandwich." Kale accepted her elbow to the ribs before he reached for one of the plates and placed two pieces of bread on it before deciding what he wanted, he scrated his chin thoughtfully. "I think a plain ol' turkey sandwich sounds just fine." he said while piling on a few slices of turkey after he covered it with a layer of mayonnaise.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily turned and looked at Kale as he spread the mayonaise on his bread. "Mayo? Seriously? Ewwww," she said, her face scrunching up into a funny look, purposely overexaggerating her disgust of the icky white substance he had spread on his sandwich. "How can you eat that? Oh, wait. Nevermind. I forgot that boys can eat just about anything gross." She stuck her tongue out at her friend, taunting him about his sandwich before busting out in laughter.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale smirked when Lily let out disapproving sounds of his mayonnaise spread. "Cause its good." he said, while placing a piece of cheese on the turkey. Since he wasn't much of a fan of the condiment, Kale only put a thin layer of mayo on both pieces of bread. He thought Lily's display was silly, so he reached for a wooden spoon and shoveled it into the jar, he held the spoon over Lily's sandwich; threatening to drop the large glob on her fresh roast beef. Kale gave the Ravenclaw girl a devious smile, teasing her jokily; he lowered the spoon toward her food.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily's laughter turned into a semi-freakout as Kale started to lower the spoonful of mayo over her roast beef. "NO! Oh my goodness don't you DARE!!" She moved towards Kale to protect her sandwich from the impending glob of mayo. Putting her hand out over her sandwich, palm up, she hoped that her reflexes were as fast as they were on the quidditch pitch if he started to drop the quivering white glob of goo on his spoon.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale's eyes narrowed on Lily, he looked at her with a serious expression. He found it hard to surpass laughter as Lily jumped closer to her sandwich to keep in safe from the white glob on the wooden spoon he was holding over it. Kale held the spoon out over Lily's palms, giving her a challenging look before turning the spoon over and allowing the large glob to fall into her hands. "Yuuumm..." he exclaimed with mock excitement before letting out a belly laugh. Kale looked at Lily, curious to see what her counterattack may be.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily screamed as the glob of goo dropped into her hands. "KALE!!!! That is disgusting! Ugh!" She started laughing through her disgust, starting to dump the mayo off her hands. Lily quickly stopped, then with a devilish glint in her eyes, looked at Kale, and quickly took aim with her hands at his face, hoping to smear the mess all over it. She laughed heartily as she made her attempt, hoping that her hands find their way to their target.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale was still laughing out loud and had to grab a hold of his mid section after she shouted his name. He didn't see her next move being so clever, Kale gasped for breath and missed a beat when he felt her hand meet his face. She managed to smear the glob of mayo on the side of his left cheek and up past his eyes. Kale froze for a fraction of a nanosecond, absorbing what had just happened. His eye brows met at the center of his forehead and his eyes widened with surprise, "Is this going to be Kitchen War Two?" he inquired, referring to their last battle of the brownie making. Kale picked up the jar of mayonnaise and squeezed his large hand into it. He looked at her with a mischievous glint playing in his eyes.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily was laughing so hard as the mayo was smeared on Kale's face that her stomach hurt. "That. Is. Awesome." As Kale froze and realized that he just got smeared, she laughed even harder. She thought back to the time in the kitchens with Hilary, Courtney and him making brownies and the horrific mess they made. Suddenly, she realized that Kale had his hand in the mayo jar and was mentioning Kitchen War 2. "Oh, no you don't, Kale Thomas. You know I fight back!" She grinned and grabbed the bottle of mustard that was on the counter, twisting it open and aiming it at Kale, ready for whatever he decided to dish out her way.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale turned his head so that he could look if any of the elves were watching them. Luckily, there weren't any of the small creatures in sight so he looked at Lily once more. "I think you fighting back is what makes it twice as fun!" he said, his eyes not leaving Lily. Kale took his hand out of the jar and removed a large glob of mayo out of it. He had a hand full of mayonnaise in his hands, quickly he brought his arm back and flung the glob of mayonnaise towards Lily's blouse; he could only hope that he got right on target to hitting her.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily squeeled as the mayo hit its mark. Her chest was covered in the white goop. "OH, you sooooo asked for it!" She started to laugh hard again as she squeezed the mustard bottle in her hands, aiming for Kale's belly. She started to look around for more ammunition, knowing that if the mustard hit its mark, this would not be the end of the battle.

 

[Kale Thomas]

A fountain of mustard squirt all over Kale's shirt, he wiped it with his hands; leaving them both covered in yellow. As Lily allowed her attention to look for more ammunition, Kale dropped a couple of pieces of bologna on the floor in hopes that she would somehow fall to the floor. Of course Kale would feel bad if she got hurt, but he would take full responsibility if she somehow damaged herself from the little 'food fight'. Kale reached for Lily with a devilish smile, wanting to get the yellow mess from the mustard in her hair.

 

[Lily Drage]

As Lily's hands managed to grab a bottle of barbeque sauce, she felt a pair of hands in her short, dark hair. Kale had managed to color her hair with the mustard, leaving a yellow mess on her head. She got the cap off the bottle of sauce quickly, reaching up to his head and attempting to dump it over his hair. As she reached, she took a step, her right foot landing on the top of a piece of bologna on the floor, causing her to tip forward towards Kale, and the sauce to fling up into the air instead of on his head.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale let out a cackle when his plan of throwing the bologna on the floor was successful, the yellow hair move too. He was busy holding onto his mustard stained stomach to even notice her rocking forward toward him, he collided with her and reached to make sure she didn't fall on the floor. His hands were still covered in mayo and other unmentionable goo that he couldn't get a grip of Lily's arm, he didn't even notice the bottle of sauce that was flung into the air. Kale slipped on a glob of mayonnaise on the floor and tumbled down, grabbing for Lily on the way down.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily had been laughing while she was slipping, and was not able to regain her balance. She felt Kale try to help her, and realized that instead of pulling her up, he was actually pulling her down onto the floor with him. As she hit the stone floor in the kitchen, the barbeque sauce settled on top of them, covering her in a red goo, mixing with the white and yellow already on her head. "Ouch!" Lily cried out as her head collided with something hard.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale's back met the kitchen floor after he had slipped, the floor was like a slip and slide with sandwich condiments. As Lily came down with him he watched as she took a worse spill that he had, he bit his lip when her head collided with one of the cupboards. "Merlin!" he exclaimed, his voice went back to a more serious tone. "Are you okay, Lily?" Kale inquired, suddenly feeling very guilty for what had just happened. If she was okay, Kale would laugh it off, otherwise, they were going to have to think of a good excuse to tell the nurse why they were both covered in mayonnaise, mustard and barbecue sauce.

 

[Lily Drage]

Lily groaned as she rolled away from the cabinets into something softer lying on her side with her eyes closed. She grabbed her forehead as she rolled, hoping that would not leave a mark. "Dammit. That hurt. What the heck did I slip on?" she asked with a chuckle. "I think that's gonna leave a mark." Lily held her forehead and kept her eyes shut, feeling a bit dizzy and hoping a lack of sight would keep her from getting sick in front of Kale.

 

[Kale Thomas]

Kale was so worried about what was going on with Lily that he didn't even realize where she was currently lying. He looked down at her and gasped quite loudly. That was not remotely close to anywhere Blake's girlfriend should be lying. "Uhhh, Lily..." he sat himself up by his elbows and tried to shift Lily so she wasn't lying where she was currently, "You slipped on bologna." Kale said, trying his best to keep his laughs to himself at this point. For some reason he was having more trouble moving her than he would any other day.