Things I Should Have Said

[Rose Holland]

Rose had been kicking herself mentally since the previous night. The Valentine's dance was supposed to be a fun time for her and her boyfriend, but she had completely ruined the night. It had been bad enough that she had sent Charlie a pink rose instead of a red one, but their talk afterwards had just made things worse. Rose was in a strange place lately, as she realized how quickly she was growing up but a part of her wanted to stop time and stay a kid. It was why she kept shying away from anything serious, anything too grown up. But now it had hurt things between her and Charlie, maybe forever. When he had told her he loved her, she had felt happy for a split second before the panic had set in. If she had just followed that feeling instead of focusing on the rest, she would have said it back without ruining things between them. But she hadn't, and then she had left him behind. It was very possible that it had ended things between them. That the boy wouldn't forgive her for this. But if there was a chance to fix it, to tell him what she really felt, Rose knew she had to take it.

She had spent the evening in her cousin's office, freaking out about what had happened and also crying more than a little bit. She hadn't wanted to bother Hayley or Rory on Valentine's day, and she knew Harley was struggling with heartbreak so asking her for advice would have just been cruel. There was also the fact that she didn't know if any of her friends would be able to help. Only Hayley had a serious relationship, but it hadn't been going on as long as Rose's relationship with Charlie. Her sisters would be no help either. Sometimes, Rose didn't like being the oldest. She always had to figure out everything first. But while Rose didn't have an older sister, she had an older cousin. After Rose had calmed down a little, Grace had given her advice. Rose felt like it was pretty good advice, too. Her cousin had told her that if she did love Charlie and did want to make things right, she had to show him that as well as tell him. She had to put some effort in, and make a gesture. So Rose had stayed up all night thinking of what to do, and early in the morning she had thought of a plan. The girl had sought out her sister Phoebe to deliver a note from her to Charlie to meet her in the garden. It was where they had gotten together, and she hoped those memories would help her case. Rose had gathered a few red roses and some other red flowers together in a bouquet, and gotten together some food from the kitchen for a picnic breakfast outside. She put down a blanket on a grassy area surrounded with flowers, arranging everything perfectly. Then she sat down on it with and waited for Charlie to arrive, though a part of her was certain he wasn't going to come.

Spoiler: The note she sent

Dear Charlie,

Yesterday, I made a few very bad mistakes. The biggest one was running away after not saying something when I really should have. I don't want to say it for the first time in a letter, but please know that I should have said it last night. I can understand if you can't forgive me, but I still hope you'll come. You've been nothing but sweet and good to me, and I've been very happy being together with you. I don't want it to end just because I'm a coward sometimes. Funny, how you're braver than me when it comes to saying things out loud.

I'll be waiting for you in the gardens, close to where we first got together. You don't have to come, but if you do, skip breakfast.

Yours,

Rose

 

[Charles Abberline]

He didn't want to get out of bed the following morning but there had been a constant knocking on the door that kept him from falling back to sleep again. Throwing his pillow at the door and mumbling to whoever was on the other side of the door to bugger off and let him sleep, the teen eventually got up as the knocking continued. Charlie picked the pillow up off the floor and opened to the door only to see Rose's younger sister there saying that she was supposed to deliver this note to him. After grumpily thanking the girl, he walked back to his four-poster bed and rubbed his eyes before picking his glasses up from the nightstand next to his bed and putting them on so he could actually read the words written on the note. He knew who the note was from and hesitated for a moment whether he wanted to read it or not. Rose had hurt him, though not by not saying it back to him but by making up some excuse to go somewhere else and leave him behind in the entrance hall. He decided to read it but before he did, took a deep breath to prepare himself for the worst, which would be his girlfriend breaking up with him because of what happened yesterday evening. He didn't want to break up with the Gryffindor. Despite having his feelings hurt by what she did, he still liked her very much. Charlie unfolded the note and read it softly, a small smile appearing on his face once he realised that this wasn't a break-up note, but that she wanted to meet up with him near the spot where both told one another that they liked each other.

After the teen was done reading the note he put it on his nightstand and let himself fall back onto his bed. He was somewhat satisfied that she was sorry for what had happened and that she now wanted to make up for it. Charlie had spent most of the night lying awake on a sofa in the common room, playing catch with himself by using one of the old tennis balls he and his mother used to play catch with whenever she needed some distraction from her job at the Ministry. He knew that ultimately it was his fault for even saying what he had said at such a weird place and moment, but it felt like the right place and moment when he said it. Charlie changed into something more fitting rather than his pyjamas and washed his face and brushed his teeth, skipping breakfast because she told him to do so if he were to come and meet her. He had to admit to himself that he was feeling rather nervous as he made his way to the garden because he wasn't sure how both of them would react to seeing each other again after yesterday. He turned left once he had reached the spot she mentioned in the note and much to his surprise saw Rose sitting down on a blanket with flowers surrounding the blanket. He chuckled softly, confused yet amazed by the scenery. It was perhaps the sweetest thing someone had ever done and it made him realise that he really, really truly meant what he told her yesterday. ''You did ask Eleanor if it was okay to pick those flowers, right?'' Charlie joked as he approached her, trying to defuse the tension.

 

[Rose Holland]

Rose was never a patient girl, but waiting seemed especially hard today. She kept looking around, fidgeting with the flowers she had put in a small bouqueat even though she knew she shouldn't do that as it might damage them. But she couldn't help it, the fear that Charlie wouldn't show at all was too big. If she had ruined everything with her words, or lack thereof, last night, she knew she wouldn't forgive herself easily. She looked up and saw Charlie approach, though suddenly she wished for him to wait just a little longer as she wasn't sure if she was ready for this. As he neared her, he started things off with a joke. That made Rose relax a little, as that surely wasn't how he would be if he was just here to break up with her. Quickly, she got to her feet and held out the bouquet of red flowers. "Um, I won't tell her if you won't?" She asked with a nervous smile. "...Hi. I'm glad you came." She stepped closer to him and handed over the red flowers. "I have... something to say." Perhaps she should have just launched into her confession straight away, but she wanted to make sure he understood she wasn't just saying it to appease him. "Well, I'm starting off with sorry. But... I have something else to say as well." She met his blue eyes with her brown ones and held his gaze. "I love you too. I should have said it last night, but I panicked and when I didn't say it immediately I thought I had lost the chance. But now I realize that was incredibly stupid." She took a deep breath. "I love you, Charlie." She repeated, a slight quaver in her voice now as she anticipated some sort of reaction from him.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Charlie watched Rose get up and walk over to him with a bouquet of red flowers and chuckled once more as he took them from her. He had never received a bouquet of flowers from anyone before so wasn't really sure what to do with them next, though before he could thank the Gryffindor for it, she started to speak. All the nervous feelings were leaving his body as he reminded himself that she wouldn't be meeting him here with a blanket and a bunch of roses surrounding them if she was going to break up with him, which was a relief. Charlie bit his lower lop while listening and couldn't stop himself from smiling at her words. He remained silent for a moment, still looking into her brown eyes and smiling ever so widely. She didn't have to say it back to him, he figured that she should tell him when she was comfortable telling him, but hearing Rose say that she loved him too made his heart flutter. Although it would be difficult to forgive her for leaving him behind in the entrance hall, the girl was doing a heck of a job of letting him know that she was really sorry for last night, and Charlie appreciated the effort she put into it. Realising that the boy should say something to stop it from becoming awkward, Charlie carefully put the bouquet down on the grass and then took the girl's hands. Looking at Rose again, he said, ''I'm sorry for just dropping it like that yesterday. I obviously should have waited for a more romantic moment.'' He apologised. ''But since this is kind of as romantic as romantic moments can get, I'll just have say it again - I love you too, Rose'' Charlie added with a grin.

 

[Rose Holland]

Rose wished she had thought of her words a little more. Maybe she could have said something more clever, something more romantic. But the things she did say came right from the heart without thinking it over much, and really, that suited her. She watched Charlie's reaction closely, her heart pounding in her chest as he stayed quiet for a while. Had it been too little, too late? Was he going to be angry with her forever? She wouldn't mind if he had some trouble completely forgiving her. She wasn't expecting this to be over with one gesture from her. But maybe he had realized he had made a mistake and he didn't love her after all? But when he finally spoke, those worries eased. She smiled slightly. "I think one could argue a dance on Valentine's day is a pretty romantic moment." She said softly, hoping he didn't feel too bad about his timing. But then he said he loved her again, and she grinned back at him. there was more she wanted to say to him, more to apologize for and more to explain about herself, but that could wait. With a laugh, she threw her arms around him and kissed him.

 

[Charles Abberline]

''Well, there's always next year,'' the Ravenclaw replied, smiling back at her. He put his arms around the girl when she kissed him and kissed her back, glad that it did not end in either one of them breaking up with the other one. Sometimes Charlie still found it funny, their relationship, as he had never imagined that he would one day end up kissing Rose in the garden when he first met the Gryffindor in the fifth-floor corridor. Charlie opened his eyes again and slowly pulled away from the kiss, smiling up at Rose before looking at the blanket and the food she had brought with her. His stomach was making noises now, which could only mean one thing. He would've normally been in the Great Hall around this time, eating whatever he could until he was full. Charlie looked back up at Rose and said, ''I do hope that some of that food it for me? You did tell me to skip breakfast after all.'' Now that everything was all good again he did not have to worry about leaving the garden heartbroken, which was a relief.

 

[Rose Holland]

The relief Rose felt at Charlie’s reaction was making her a little lightheaded and she grinned at him widely. “I promise not to run off next year, no matter what.” She told him, as it seemed like an easy promise to make. The idea that he loved her and she loved him was something new and a bit scary, but also something wonderful. Her heart felt like it was soaring and doing a few cartwheels on top of it. Their kiss felt different because of it. Not because the kissing itself was different, but because they were both aware of each other’s feelings. The kiss felt more official and real somehow, at least to Rose. But as Charlie broke away and looked at the food, his stomach started rumbling. Rose couldn’t help giggling at the noise, not bothering to cover her mouth or stop herself. “No, I actually came here to eat that all by myself and torture you.” She joked before nudging him. “Of course it is! Let’s sit down and eat. It’ll be a romantic picnic breakfast for the two of us.” She took his hand and sat down with him. “I basically got everything I could think of. We should probably return anything that’s left over to the house elves.” She said as she looked at the food she had brought. Now that they were sitting here together, it seemed a bit much. But when she had been organizing this it felt like a lot depended on this all being perfect, and that included the right amount of food. Rose grabbed herself an apple, though she rolled it in her hands rather than eating it. “I know this doesn’t completely make up for missing the dance last night.” She said after a moment. “But… it’s a start, right?”