Closed There Will Be Time

[Professor Angel Castillo]

It was dark in Josephine's living room. In their living room. Angel hadn't bothered turning on the lights when he'd slipped out of bed, mind too full to even try sleeping right now. Angel slumped onto the ottoman, fidgeting with his wand idly as he looked, unseeing around the dark room. A kid. Their kid. They were having a kid. Even with some time to digest it Angel wasn't sure the idea had really sunk in. He'd just come to terms with moving in and actually being in love with Josephine in the past few months and now. Now he had to contend with the idea of being a father. Being responsible for some other person's life. It turned his blood cold and Angel felt that familiar urge to just pack up and run away. He'd done it before for less, but Angel couldn't bring himself to move off the ottoman.

Could he do this? Could he be a father? His own relationship with his dad was terrible, so it wasn't like he had anything decent to model off of there. Getting restlessly to his feet at least, Angel moved to pacing around the room, nearly tripping on the edge of the rug in the dark. That was so unsafe, what if he'd been holding their kid and dropped them? Heart in his mouth, Angel looked around the room, finally moving to switch on the lights. What if they knocked their head on the sharp corner of the table here. Or opened one of the latches on the hutch and got into something they shouldn't. Gripped by a strange but focused mania, Angel started moving around the living room, wand at the ready, charming away edges and adding locks. He wasn't ready, the house wasn't ready, nothing was going to be ready in time.

 

[Josephine Arora]

Josephine knew she was pregnant, but at the same time she didn't think she actually knew it yet. The news hadn't properly sunk in, even though she had already told Angel. The thought of a child was not bad, in theory. She had always imagined having children 'someday', but it seemed like that day was now. Well, not now, thankfully she still had quite a few months to go. Which was a good thing, as that meant she had a few months to get used to the idea. Right?
Josephine was trying to sleep, but her mind was going in a million different directions. When Angel slipped out of bed, Josephine didn't turn over to reveal she was awake as well. Maybe he just needed to use the bathroom, and she didn't want to keep him awake with all her worries. But when he didn't return and his side of the bed cooled off, Josephine guessed he was having worries of his own. But it wasn't until she heard noises from the living room that Josephine got up herself, a small frown on her face as she opened the door. The lights were on, and Angel was... oh. Josephine couldn't help it, she smiled. "You know, I don't think the baby is going to be able to move on their own for a good while, even after they have been born." She said, though the sight of Angel making the room safe for their child filled her with a fondness and a love she hadn't expected. "Couldn't sleep?" She added, unnecessarily, as she stepped into the living room and approached him.

 

[Professor Angel Castillo]

Angel froze where he was crouched in front of a cabinet, wand still out as he tried to decide a good way to charm it shut. He was acutely aware of how ridiculous he must look, still in his pajamas, nearly 40 and clearly having a meltdown. How did Josephine ever expect him to keep himself together long enough to get them both through this he had no idea. "It's not for- It's to keep Ella out. I'm almost certain she keeps rearranging my things just to mess with me," He said after a moment, still staring straight ahead, but it felt hollow, insincere. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Angel dragged himself to his feet, looking at Josephine and finding himself overwhelmed at the sudden urge to hug her. Wrap his arms around her and not let go. So he did, tucking his face into the crook of her shoulder and just breathing in. "I don't know what I'm doing," He admittedly quietly, the words coming out easier angled towards her clavicle. "What if I mess this up? I'm really good at that." This was all wrong, he knew. Angel was sure his father had never lost his head like this. In fact he wasn't sure his dad had ever had an emotion that wasn't abject disappointment in his life. Could he really do this for Josephine? Angel had never seen himself as the white picket fence type of guy, settled down with a spouse and a kid. And yet here he was.

 

[Josephine Arora]

Josephine laughed softly and raised her eyebrows, glad that Angel embraced her after a moment. "I wouldn't put that past Ella." She admitted fondly, "but I don't see how charming away the edge of the table would keep her out of anything." She added, gently stroking his arm as he held her. She felt comforted by him, holding him so close. And Josephine felt grateful as Angel opened up to her, as she knew that wasn't something that came easy to him. It didn't come easy to either of them, if she was honest. "I don't think any parents know what they're doing." Josephine said quietly. "You'll probably mess up, and so will I. But I think that's part of it all." She pulled back slightly so she could cup his face in her hands and meet his eyes. "Angel, the fact that you're worrying about this so much already is telling me enough. You're going to be a good father." She said quietly. "We'll manage this together, somehow." Josephine had felt scared herself, wishing more than ever that her mother was still around. She could really use some parenting advice. But her parents had died when she was young, leaving her and Ella in the care of their horrible grandfather. It comforted Josephine that at least she would never be as terrible as him. It shocked her to realize she was close to the age her mother had been when she'd died, and she swallowed, blinking fast for a moment. It was even stranger to remember she herself had been a teenager already, her parents had had her very young, barely out of school. "I'm more scared that we won't be there to mess up." She admitted. "That... something will happen." She had told Angel about her family history long ago, and she trusted him to put the pieces together without her having to spell it out.

 

[Professor Angel Castillo]

Angel huffed against Josephine’s neck at her comments, shaking his head gently. “That would certainly explain a lot about my parents,” he said wanly, lifting his head just enough to see Josephine’s face. The words she was saying were individually terrifying; ‘enough’, ‘together’, ‘father’, but somehow she strung them into a sentence that was almost comforting to his sleep deprived brain.

Her next words surprised him though, and Angel gently rested her palm against her cheek. “Well, I’m not planning to go anywhere any time soon,” he said, surprised with the level of intensity that he’d meant it. A year ago, Angel didn’t think he could imagine saying something with such conviction, and yet here he was, baby-proofing the home he shared with a woman he loved. It was enough to make him a little dizzy. “Do me a favor and stick around too, yeah? Please,” he said, kissing her softly.

 

[Josephine Arora]

Josephine stroked Angel's back softly and decided not to comment on his quip about his parents. She knew why he was worried, but she also knew he didn't have to worry the way he was. He'd truly be a wonderful father, she knew it deep down. She felt comforted by his touch and words, and smiled slightly as she leaned into the hand he'd placed on her cheek. "I'm planning to stick around as well." She murmured. "I think if we didn't, Ella would be in charge of the baby. So let's not make that happen." She said with a wry smile. Then she leaned up and gently kissed Angel.