The Stars That Shine for You

[Sophie Wilson]

The Yule Ball had been full of surprises for Sophie, and one was currently walking next to her. Isaac hadn't even planned to go to the ball, something he had made very clear to her, so when he showed up she had been surprised. Even more surprising was the talk they soon had, one which still felt surreal to her. Thinking back to the way they had opened up about feelings, as awkward and stilted as they had been, made her stomach flutter. She was pretty sure she liked him and that he liked her, which was an entirely new phenomenon for her. Previously, she'd had a crush on Lennon, the editor for the school paper. But he was a lot older than Sophie, and there had never really been any chance of anything mutual, which she had been fine with. This was scary new territory, and she was very aware of how quiet their surroundings were now that they were alone.

The other surprise of the night had been her sister. While she was talking to Isaac and still pretending to pay attention to anything else under the guise of taking notes for the paper, she had seen Amber and her date kiss. It had made her feel like her eyes were popping out of her head, as she had never expected Amber to kiss a girl. Especially in such a public place. She couldn't help feeling bad now as she thought back to their conversation a few days ago, when Amber had wanted to tell her something and she had pushed her away. Now that she had seen this, she was fairly sure that she knew what her sister had wanted to talk to her about. The entire situation was a little overwhelming for Sophie, as it made her reconsider the way she had been acting to and about her older sister. So when she had looked at Isaac again, she'd asked him if they could go outside for some air. One thing she hadn't considered, however, was how strange it would feel now to be all alone with him. At least at the ball they had other people around them, somewhat like a shield. Now they were alone in the silence of the night, and Sophie felt like everything clever she'd ever thought of had fled out of her head. Nervously, she glanced at the boy she had been talking to all evening and cleared her throat. "It's quiet here." She said, a stupid thing to say as he could clearly determine that for himself.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac hadn't really known what to expect from the time at the Yule Ball, but he'd only been hoping to repair the friendship with Sophie that he'd managed to ruin a few weeks ago. Now they seemed to have progressed beyond their initial problem, and while he was fortunate to still be standing beside her during the ball, it didn't mean that his comfort levels were getting any easier. He wasn't sure what would have become of the night if Sophie hadn't spotted her sister kissing another female student, but as a result of the events that followed he had moved away from the Christmas festivities with her, leaving the crowds and noise behind them.

Isaac wasn't even sure if he wanted to be here. He was trying to suppress every urge to run and hide, to mask whatever it was that he was feeling fly through his body as he made his way out onto the lawn with Sophie, swallowing and not allowing his eyes to glance over to the Ravenclaw in case something was passed between them that would be too much for the third year to handle. He was doubting that the fear he felt now was worth the joy of spending time with her, and he looked at the ground as his hands were resting in his pockets, too unsure and too nervous to do anything else but follow. Perhaps they'd taken a stroll too far from the castle, as the sounds that had once been almost deafeningly loud over their conversation was now barely audible, and it wasn't difficult to hear every movement between them now they were stood under the night sky. The Ravenclaw could feel her eyes on him, and he nodded at her comment unable to meet her gaze. Isaac didn't want to push Sophie away again, to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing, and his own heartbeat was hammering so hard in his chest he could have sworn it was becoming harder to breath. He tried to calm himself down, telling himself that she was probably feeling similar to him right now, plus she had the shock of seeing her sister with another to contend with too. "Did you know about Amber?" he asked, willing the conversation to be anywhere but on them right now.
​

 

[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie felt tenseness and awkwardness in the air between them, which she hated. Things were sometimes so easy and natural between them, and she wanted that feeling back. She just didn't know how. The things they had talked about at the ball had veered so close to something new and scary but also concrete, but neither had had the guts to take it there. The shock of seeing Amber had been partly an excuse to change the subject, but that had only muddied the waters more. Sophie sighed, glanced up at the stars, and then glanced at him at his question. She wondered how much he really cared, suspecting he just found this subject easier to talk about than anything between them. She shook her head, averting her gaze. "We aren't very close." She said, the meaning of the words hitting her for the first time. She had said it before, but never had she stopped to consider that they could be. That maybe their relationship wasn't ruined beyond repair. That maybe things could change if she was brave enough to change her own behavior.

And that applied here as well. Without really thinking about it, she glanced down at her hand, the one Isaac had touched in the hall. So many couples there had been dancing together, hugging each other, kissing in plain view. Why was a single hand touch enough to make Sophie feel exposed and vulnerable? Was she really so strange? Affection wasn't natural for her, but for the first time she wished it wasn't such a hurdle. But there were things that needed to be said, and they needed to be said before the two of them did what they did best and hid behind sarcasm and venom. "Isaac, maybe we need to talk a little more. About... things." She said, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. She hardly ever wore them, though she didn't hate dresses in general. "I like you. I think you said you like me. Are we... going to do anything about that?" The words were forced out of her by sheer force of will, everything in her nature rebelling against being so open and plain with her feelings. "Or, not about that I guess. More... with it. Or something." She groaned and put one of her hands over her face. "I forgot how to put a coherent sentence together, apparently."

 

[Isaac Kain]

Considering how little Sophie spoke of her sister, it didn't surprise him that they weren't very close. Isaac nodded through the darkness, unsure of what to say next, but it wasn't him that broke their silence. He shifted a little in his position, a foot playing with whatever he could locate on the floor as he listened to his friend lay out their cards on the table in front of them. Everything she was saying was true, and he chuckled a little when she lost the ability to speak, feeling as though there was a tension in the air that could only be broken with their jokes. Isaac had never been a particularly physical person, even with his family. He'd been taught that there was one way to do things and if he didn't follow their guidelines he would feel the consequences. His own sister had spent years trying to break away from the grip that they held over the siblings, and while Lillith may have been free he knew he certainly wasn't yet. Moving in any direction with Sophie would no doubt cause them to be alarmed if they found out, after all he wouldn't be focusing on his school work and would have a more difficult job getting into the ministry, as though that was what he wanted. He wanted to follow his sisters lead, show them that he was more than the dreams they had for him, but the levels of guilt and disappointment that lay inevitably around the corner was enough to make him hesitant, moulding him into a boy who barely wanted to let out his true opinions.

He was shaking a little as he lifted his hand up to take Sophie's away from her face, although he told himself it was only because of cool outdoor temperatures. He moved to stand in front of her, leaning forward and putting both arms around her to pull her into a hug; something that was a rarity for the third year. It took him a moment to find any words left, trying not to concentrate too hard on how awkward he felt trying to show her he was more than the jokes he made. Various comments went through his mind as he held his tongue, not wanting her to think that he wasn't able to take some thing seriously. "I do want to do something about it." he said slowly and quietly, feeling her warmth under his arms. "I'd like to think that you're my friend in here. But that maybe friend isn't exactly the right word." He didn't know what he was saying nor what he wanted, only that Sophie gave him a chance to be more like himself and more comfortable than he'd been in years, and if what he thought was correct then she felt the same. It felt strange to be so close to another person, to literally be able to feel them against him, and Isaac swallowed nervously as fought the urge to keep himself closed off.
​

 

[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie was glad the conversation about Amber was soon left behind them, even though the other conversation that they were having was hardly easier. At least it was about her, and about things she was feeling. She felt a little shaky from her own confession, and was happy to keep her face partially hidden behind her hand. That way she wouldn't have to see his reaction, as she was suddenly convinced she had mistaken everything so far and was about to be rejected. Even if Isaac liked her, would he tell her so? He seemed to struggle with his emotions as much as she did, if not more. But before she could even peek through her fingers at his face, he had taken her hand away. She wanted to ask him what he was doing, for one wild moment thinking he might kiss her, but then he hugged her instead. It... was nice. She never hugged anyone for very long and suddenly didn't understand why. But it wouldn't be like this with anyone else, she thought. She blushed at his words, taking them in. A silence fell between them as she considered what to say. Finally, she distanced herself from the hug enough to be able to look at him. "I agree." She said quietly, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. "If we like each other, maybe we should be... together." The words were hard to say, especially this close to him. She averted her gaze, the blush on her cheeks worsening. "If you want that." Again the idea of a kiss crossed her mind, but she didn't dare to attempt it. She would probably mess it up anyway, and perhaps it was better to first figure out if they were having the same idea about this whole situation. Asking the question had been scary enough.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac felt as though he should be the one to look away when her cheeks flared up, to give her a moment to compose herself. If this situation was reversed he knew it would have been easier for him to pretend to have not noticed, and in his consideration he rested his head against hers both to give her the opportunity and to give him a few extra valuable seconds to think of his own response. "Yeah, okay." It wasn't the most romantic of things to say, but he had been caught off guard by the directness of her question, and felt he should at least give some indication they were on the same page than worry too much about his choice of words. "Do you, er, want to be my girlfriend?" he asked, the last word catching in his throat a little as he said it. It was what the teen wanted but he knew it would bring with it a new set of challenges he'd so far managed to avoid in his young life. He knew if he was going to make any progress with his parents though that he was going to need to start pushing out the boundaries, and he could have at least started with this. His own cheeks were warming up and as he was too hesitant to look at Sophie in case the reaction on her face was one that would push him back into the cave he'd built from himself over the years, and not for the first time he appreciated the fact they were outside in the cool dark night air.
​

 

[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie felt Isaac rest his head on hers and felt her nerves flare up. Still unconvinced that he would actually want to be with her despite the evidence for it. So when he said 'yeah, okay', she felt nothing but relief. A smile appeared on her face without her being conscious of it, something that was fairly rare for her. His next question made her heart speed up again as it was what she had been both hoping and fearing to hear. Her throat felt too try to respond and she swallowed. "Yes." She said, her voice a little shaky even on the single word. "Yes, I do." She looked up at him, her smile still in place. "Assuming you want to be my boyfriend." She added, trying to make a joke out of it. Even she wasn't insecure enough to think he'd ask her if he didn't want that, but it was always fun to tease him.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac's heart was hammering in his chest in the pause between him asking the question and hearing a response from Sophie. Now that he'd said it out loud he was certain that she was going to turn him down, admit that it was part of the joke all along and that he'd gotten the wrong end of the stick. When she answered, it took the third year a second to register that she did want to be together, and he peered down to her with a nervous smile of his own on his face. "No I was just asking for the h*ll of it," he gave her a squeeze to show that he was kidding, accidentally reverting back to usual habits getting the better of him as his adrenaline was running higher than normal. His smile widened a little as he admired hers, although he was quickly taken over by embarrassment of being quite so close to someone, and had to glance away before the warmth of his cheeks gave him away. He wanted to apologise, tell her that he'd been wrong to act the way he had a few weeks ago, that he'd missed her company and the time they spent together in classes, that she was the prettiest girl in the school and that when she found him he didn't feel quite as alone. But none of those words left his mouth, too burdened by the fear of admitting the truth and wanting for once in his life to just be able to what he wanted he found himself resting his head against hers again, appreciating the fact she was here. Trying not to become paranoid that she might be able to feel his heartbeat through his chest, nor that he was holding her too tightly, Isaac tried to keep the mood a little lighter to their norms. "Hey at least this might not be the worst Yule Ball you've ever attended," he said, glad that he'd taken the chance to come in the first place.
​

 

[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie snorted at Isaac's response, unable to hide her happiness at this situation. Her mind flashed back to Amber inside, wondering if her sister was having a similar feeling right now. It would be nice to talk about it with her, even if Sophie had no idea how that conversation would even go. "Right." She said with a grin. "Too bad, it's binding." She teased back, glad they were back in this comfortable zone of sarcasm and jokes. There were more things in the air between them that were left unsaid, but Sophie had reached her limit of talking about feelings for the night. There would be time for this later, or not. For now she would just enjoy being held by him and talking. It was nice. "Not the worst." She conceded with a small shrug. "Jury's still out on if it's the best or not, though." Her grin showed that she wasn't serious. It was definitely the best Yule Ball she had ever been to, and she didn't see that changing anytime soon.