Closed The Long Way Home

[Einar Haines]

Einar had been gone almost three years. He'd dropped out, gotten in a bus and left. He could apparate and had apparated, but he'd left first off by bus. Einar had found travelling refreshing, allowing him time to grieve the family he had lost, the loss and pain he had suffered in his life. He had missed Lucas dearly, but he knew that this had been right for him. He felt at ease with himself, and it helped that though he'd not dated, being touched by people was no longer something that set him off as much as it had. There were still bad days, but they didn't make him want to stay locked in a dark room until the world forgot about him. But now he felt ready to come home, and after a few questions to Cassi, he had found Lucas' store. It was sweet, he was proud of him, Einar still only had his backpack. He opened the door to the flower shop. He could vaguely hear music in the room. "Lucas?" he called out loudly, not wanting to overstep.​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas had built up his life slowly. He'd gotten out of his families house, out of their shadows and influence. He'd wanted to build a life with Einar, but the other boy had instead opted to essentially abandon Alaska and Lucas, in turn.

He'd done his best to understand, but with nothing more than the occasional post card and Einar skipping graduation, Einar had never felt more like a childhood dream, a doll locked in a case where Lucas could never reach him.

Despite feeling abandoned, Lucas had always loved Einar. It had never really faded, but that was alright. Lucas was okay by himself. He'd always been by himself.

He was working by himself today, the shop closed for lunch as he finished filling out an order. The morning had been slow, but that was alright. He was lost in his work, not hearing the voice call out to him. His music was playing loudly on a speaker, and he hummed along as he put the finishing touches on the last bouquet. His work bench was covered in ribbons and tulle paper, and Lucas was carefully placing the last few sprigs of babys breath.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar knew that this reunion was probably not going to be good. He knew that his leaving had hurt Lucas, but he didn't think Lucas understood the depth of his need to leave. The depth of his grief and just how he hadn't dealt with it. His mother had died and within a week he was back at school. He could still feel her hand in his, and everyone else was so happy. Einar didn't want to go further in, but approached where he could spot Lucas humming along. “Lucas?” he called more loudly, still keeping his distance, but speaking over the music as best he could.​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas was drawn out of his thoughts by a voice, one that seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it immediately. He straightened up, setting his things aside and heading out. His blond hair was pulled back into a tiny ponytail, wearing a soft lilac hoodie that was just a bit loose on his tall frame. He stepped out into the main shop. "Hey, sorry, what-?" He started in his best sales voice, before stopping in his tracks as he saw who was standing there. His jaw dropped and he stood there, frozen in shock.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar gave a nervous smile as Lucas finally turned to look at him. Lucas had grown a little, his hair was longer, and he'd gotten older since the last time Einar had seen him. Einar probably was the same for him. He'd put on some weight, had more colour in his face and though his hair was still bleached white, he had a healthier look to him than he'd had at any point when they'd been at school. “Hey, sorry, Cassi, said you would be here,” he explained, his tone was lighter, not quite melodic, but he spoke in a more relax tone with an actual warmth to it. “I'm….back,”​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas stood there a moment, frozen. Einar... that was Einar. Unthinkingly, he took a tiny step forward, his hand starting to reach out a bit. Lucas stopped himself, taking a deep breath and shoving his misbehaving hands into his pockets. "Einar?" He asked softly, his voice as quiet and soft as it had been when they'd been small children, Lucas trailing after Einar as a shadow. His eyes took Einar in- he could see how much healthier the boy- no, the man- how much healthier he looked. It was like there was a light there that wasn't before. Lucas couldn't help but admire it, sticking his hands in his pockets to try and avoid reaching out for him again.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar couldn't stop feeling nervous. He wouldn't have been surprised nor too annoyed if Lucas had just taken that moment to punch him. He spotted his hand and then extended his own. “I'd like to give you hug…,” he said, opening his arms a little, wanting to have a hug from a friend, a boyfriend that he had lost touch with. Perhaps even to show how he'd changed, while not forcing Lucas to hug if he didn't want to.​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas was surprised by Einar's words. A hug? He bit his lip, considering. He was tempted, really, and he wavered a bit, rocking a bit forward with yearning, but his feet didn't move. He was slow to react, his shoulders a little hunched. "Why?" He asked softly, lowering his eyes and staring at his toes. "You're just going to leave again," He managed, his heart aching. He didn't move away, and it was hard to keep himself from moving forward. But he was scared, and he felt like that lost little kid all over again. Only this time, he was the one pulling back.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar could see Lucas thinking about it, almost stepping forward but not quite. He cringed a little at the question and statement, knowing it was right, a fair thing for him to be worried by. For him to accuse him off. "I know you have no reason to believe it, but...I'm back, I don't intend to leave again," he told him. He looked down at the ground, at his hands. "Can we get coffee or something, I can explain a little better?" the man said. He didn't know what he needed to explain, but he felt maybe that was the right thing to suggest. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas was hesitant, unsure, hands in his pockets. "But... you didn't come to graduation." He offered, voice small. "It's been years, Einar. I know you were hurting... but you just- you left. You knew you were all I had and you couldn't even be bothered with a phone call." He took a small step back. "You were messed up- I understand that, but so was I. How can you just... walk back in here, and act like you didn't abandon everything we ever had?" He looked down, staring at his feet as he fought back tears. "I lived for you- I gave you everything I ever had, did everything you ever asked, and you couldn't even... why are you here? I don't matter to you. I don't know that I ever mattered..."

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar sighed a little, listening to all of what Lucas was saying to him, knowing some of it was true. ”Lucas, I never asked you to do that, I never asked you to live for me, or give me everything,” he replied softly. ”What we had back then wasn't healthy. I gave everything I had left to you and I wasn't doing good, and neither were you,” Einar told him, using words that he had learnt from a range of therapists. ”You mattered to me, but I needed to heal, properly. I was lost in my grief, unable to process any of it, and that school held me in my worst state of mind. I really did try to come to graduation, but I felt sick being even close to it,” Einar said, it wouldn't really help heal things, but it was the truth. He hadn't been able to face the school. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas felt exasperated. "And you couldn't call me?" He asked, his voice breaking and a few tears slipping out. "You had to go. We had to break up. You needed time away, I always understood that. It hurt me, but I understood it." He reached out for half a second before pulling his hand back, rolling his head back and digging his hands lightly against his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying. "You've been gone for years, Einar. You couldn't spare five minutes in your grand journey to just call?" He lowered his hands, finally looking to Einar with a deep sadness in his eyes. "I miss you... I've been waiting, hoping, but... I never knew if you were going to come back. I knew you were going, I thought you were just taking some time away... I thought we would still talk, that there would be letters or phone calls or something. But the last time we spoke... you broke up with me, and then you were gone."

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar grimaced, knowing it was all true, that perhaps in his desire to just learn how to be, he had isolated himself from the one person he cared most about. He had missed him, he had missed his company, his friendship and everything else, but...he knew he wouldn't have been able to start healing without the space. Though of course it didn't explain why he had never called, why he had barely written. "I don't have a good excuse, I just needed space, and time and reaching out, would've made me what to come back, and I knew I had to wait until I was ready," He said, which wasn't a very good excuse. "I missed you when I was gone and I don't expect to pick up where we left off. You're the only friend I have in the world and the only person I wanted to see," ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas let out a shaky sigh, rolling his head back. Everything felt raw, and his heart ached. But this was Einar. Despite everything, Lucas loved him, deeply. He was quiet a moment, struggling, before letting out a shaky sigh. "You're a jerk," He spoke, but his tone was gentle and he managed a small smile. He half opened up his arms, feeling vulnerable and almost ready to just collapse. "Did you still want that hug?"

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar nodded, "I know," There was more he wanted to say to it, promises he wanted to make. Promises to Lucas about how he was sticking around now, that he was back for good, that he would do everything to make up for lost time, and lost feelings. But instead, as Lucas opened his arms in a hug, Einar stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Lucas, holding him in a tight hug. Holding him in close. Holding him as if to make up for all the times he shied away from physical contact, for all the lost years. ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas forgot sometimes how desperate he was for love, for attention. He melted into the touch, sighing softly. "Einar," He breathed, shutting his eyes. His knees went weak and he crumpled, pulling Einar down and into his lap, snuggling tightly against him. "If you take off like that again I'll kick your ass," He smiled weakly, a hand tangling in Einar's hair.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar smiled softly, letting himself breath Lucas in. Letting himself just be in that moment with him. Needing him. Holding him close. He had never really been one for touch, but having taken the time to healer and seeing a therapist and working on some of his grief, it felt much easier. He didn't struggle with it, in the same way that he had, and certainly not with Lucas. ”If I take off again, I'll kick my ass,” he replied with a fond tone, leaning into him as they had crumpled to the ground. ”But, I'm not leaving, this is it, this is me. I'm going to get a job, find a place to live and be here every day to annoy you,” ​

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas had his nose buried in Einars' hair. "Why not just live here then?" He offered gently. "There's a spare room if you'd rather." He suggested, nestling against Einar and just really enjoying the closeness. "Tomorrow night, anyway. Tonight... do you think you could stay with me?" He asked, a little shyly, pulling back and peeking at Einar through his bangs.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar glanced around the place and then back at Lucas. He didn't want to impose upon him, he had just come back into his friend's life. Einar also knew that saying no might be a lot, might go against what he was trying to do by showing Lucas he was back. "I'd love to stay with you," he said with a smile. "Do you just live upstairs?"

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas took a deep breath, shifting Einar out of his lap. He stood, holding out his hands in an offer to help him up. "Yeah, I can show you?" He asked, giving Einar a shy smile. "It's not a lot, but... it's cozy, I like it." He explained, biting his lip.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar gave a little smile and stood up. ”Sure,” he said with a nod. ”I've been sleeping on couches, in hostels and on benches, this will be amazing,” he assured him with a little smile. Since Einar hadn't had a real home in so long, and that he had spent the last little while sleeping wherever he could, the place could be one room, and he'd still find it nice.

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas frowned, shaking his head and brushing Einars hair back without really thinking about it. "You're an idiot," He scolded, but started for the apartment, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. "If you'd gotten hurt I'd have killed you," He complained, fretting a bit over what might have happened.

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar leaned into the touch, where he had once always shied away from it, he now leaned into it. A little smile across his features. He hesitated a moment. "So, you don't want to hear about the time I fell off a bike?" he said teasingly. He had of course gotten hurt a few times, but nothing serious. Just those falls and scrapes that come with a slightly dangerous life.

 

[Lucas Ames]

Lucas laughed lightly. "That's not what I meant and you know it, you jerk," He teased. Part of him wanted to walk closer, fret over Einar more, but he kept his distance. Lucas had learned a long time ago to keep away. He shut those thoughts down, hands shoved deep into his pockets to make himself behave. He climbed the stairs, his door opening as he approached. "It's not much, but it's enough," He offered, stepping in.

Lucas had a simple apartment- an open kitchen and living room area, a plush couch and a tv with a dvd collection stored on the shelving that the tv stood on. A soft rug over the hardwood floor, a large fish tank against the wall that was nicely decorated and filled with Koi fish. There was a small hall that opened into two bedrooms and a single bathroom. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking back to Einar shyly. "I haven't really been too fussed about decorations."

 

[Einar Haines]

Einar gave a little smile, feeling glad that despite what he had done, he wasn't completely in Lucas' black book. The boy follow Lucas into the apartment, remaining close to Lucas as he followed behind him, knocking his elbow a few times. He followed him inside and glanced about the room. He thought it was nice, it was a little bare but it was enough, more than enough. "It's nice, I'm here now, I can just paint all over your walls," he told him with a little smile, nudging his friend a little as he said it. "It is nice though, I like the fish,"