The Ground Below Is Crumbling

[Odette Madison]

[adminapproval=#30623834]The day had started as any other. Odette, alone at the Slytherin table, eating breakfast. She was reading a book while eating, one of her favorites on Quidditch manoeuvres. The Quidditch season was over, so it was probably smarter to study for the OWLs, but during a meal she allowed herself something more fun. She hardly looked up when the owl mail arrived. She rarely, if ever, got mail, so she didn't expect anything today either. When a letter dropped in front of her plate, she blinked at it in surprise. Her first instinct was to ignore it, assume it was for someone else. But the letter was definitely addressed to her, and it was very official looking, like perhaps something from the ministry. Reluctantly, she closed the book she had been reading and grabbed the envelope. Quickly, she opened it and pulled the letter out. She felt wary as she started reading it, but that wariness soon made place for another feeling entirely. It was one she had never felt before. A cold spread through her body and Odette forgot everything around her for a moment as she tried to comprehend the words on the page. Her eyes stared at the words, but surely she had to be misinterpreting their meaning. Surely this was some sort of mistake.

Her eyes unfocused and focused again. She read a few of the phrases that jumped out at her, almost unwillingly but unable to tear her gaze away. "We regret to inform you..." Her gaze jumped to another spot on the page. "...Your mother and guardian, Rebecca Cross..." Her hands started to tremble enough to make the letter shake, but not so hard that she couldn't read the words that made her world feel like it had stopped making sense. "...fatal splinching accident." The words on the page blurred until they were unrecognizable, and Odette felt a numb relief for a moment until she realized that was because her eyes were filling with tears. All at once, she was aware of where she was. And immediately, she felt like she was suffocating. Almost everyone in the entire school would be at breakfast right now, this wasn't something she could handle here and now. Her breath was coming in short bursts, and her fist was clenched around the letter as if it was the only real thing in the world. Because in a way, it felt like it was. Panicked, she looked over at the Ravenclaw table, desperate to catch Margo's eye. She was the only person in the whole school she wanted to look at her right now, to notice her. And somehow, thankfully, she did. Their eyes met, and she could tell Margo saw something was wrong. Odette didn't wait for her to get up, she left her bag and Quidditch book at the table as she stumbled away with the letter in hand, ignoring the stares from the Slytherins she pushed past in her haste to get away. There was no place where this would make sense, but this busy place filled with people she either hated or cared little about was the worst place to be right now. Maybe if she could just find a moment of peace and quiet she could understand this properly, and see how it was all some sort of mistake.

As soon as she left the great hall, Odette felt her knees threaten to give out. She grabbed hold of a nearby wall and forced herself to lean against it. The coolness of the old stones managed to make her feel more grounded, and she closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the wall for a moment. Maybe if she looked at the letter again, it would say something different. Maybe now, it wouldn't feel like the world cracked open beneath her feet and swallowed her whole. She hadn't even read it properly yet, after all. Maybe she had misunderstood something. But even as these thoughts were racing through her head, she didn't look at the paper she was still clutching. Because she knew she hadn't misunderstood. Because she had read more of the words than she wanted to admit and now denied it. Because now that she was here in the seemingly deserted entrance hall, the reality of everything was crashing down at once. Her mother was dead. With that thought clear in her mind, a sob forcefully pushed it's way up and escaped. There was no holding it back, nor was there any way to stop the ones following it. Odette slid down onto the ground, her back still against the wall. Through the tears and the ringing in her ears, she could still make out someone approaching her. She could only hope it was Margo, and not anyone else. But she didn't have the energy or the awareness to make sure right now. Her sobs didn't last very long, but even as they subsided her entire body trembled and she stared straight ahead. The letter was still clenched in her fist, parts of it had been slightly ripped because of how tightly she had been holding it.

 

[Margo Ellis]

Margo had just about perfected the art of stealing glances at Odette from across the great hall, knowing just how to sit that she didn't have to strain or lean or make it obvious what she was doing. She was often tempted to join her friend at her table, but she suspected more than a few Slytherins would have objected to her imposition. They usually met up after breakfast to chat anyway before separating for classes. Margo was covering her toast in jam when she happened to look up, startling as this time she met Odette's eye. She might have looked away, embarrassed, except that something in Odette's expression, even from a distance, caught and held her attention. She knew her best friend, and she had never seen such a look of panic and horror on her face before. Something was really, really wrong.

Odette had barely stood up before Margo was climbing out from the table to chase after her. "Move!" she said impatiently to the gaggle of first years blocking her path. Where was Odette? Margo couldn't see her any more. She pushed through the crowd, suddenly realising she'd left her bag behind but not going back to get it. Finally she burst into the hall, braking hard and looking around. There she was - scrunched up on the floor by the wall, a letter that Margo hadn't noticed before clutched in her hand. It was startling: the sight of Odette, usually so cool and composed, shaking and crying on the floor. For a second, Margo was too shocked to move; then she rushed over, falling to her knees and throwing her arms around Odette, pulling her in close, as if somehow she could protect her from whatever awful thing had happened. "Odette? It's okay, I'm here," she said softly. "What's happened?"

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette was staring straight ahead, but she wasn't seeing anything. It wasn't until Margo fell onto her knees in front of her and pulled her into a hug that she knew for sure her friend had followed her out of the Great Hall. The great big sobs had stopped coming, and Odette just felt sort of empty. Shouldn't she be sobbing more? But her mind was strangely clear, even as tears still streamed down her cheeks. She turned her head slightly but couldn't see much of Margo besides her curly blond hair as the girl held her. Odette swallowed and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, she pulled back slightly so she could give Margo the letter. Maybe she would be able to make sense of it. Releasing it from her grip felt strange, and she had to fight the impulse to snatch it back. Instead, she closed her eyes and leaned against her friend as she waited for Margo to tell her things were going to be okay.

 

[Margo Ellis]

Margo pulled back a little as Odette did, hesitantly taking the letter, as if it might detonate in her hand. Whatever was written on it had done this to Odette. It had to be bad. She leaned into her friend as she started to read, eyes darting across the page and widening in terror. No. This couldn't be. Odette was sixteen. Sixteen-year-olds didn't lose their mothers! It had to be a joke. But the stamp was official and the writing was technical and nobody would have gone to this much effort to play a morbid trick. Odette's mother was dead. Now who did she have?

Still holding the letter, Margo put her arm back around Odette and held her even tighter than before, burying her face in her hair. But she couldn't protect Odette from this. The pain was on the inside. Everything felt like a twisted nightmare, surreal and sickening. She wanted to say something, to help, to make her feel better, and yet everything she thought of was either inadequate or a lie. Squeezing her eyes shut, she finally whispered, "I'm so sorry."

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette didn’t move as Margo read the letter, she didn’t want to see the other girl reading it, comprehending it, reacting to it. She didn’t want to see the thing anymore at all. The girl kept her eyes closed, waiting for the world to right itself back to normal. But even though she wanted to go completely numb, her thoughts were refusing to do so. As Margo held her again, pulling her close, Odette’s thoughts were racing through her head. It was like her brain was trying to think of the worst thought to have at this moment. What was the last thing she had said to her mother? She hadn’t seen her since the holidays before fifth year. That was months ago. What if she could have made a difference if she had been home? What happened now? She wasn’t an adult yet, she had no money. Would she have to live with strangers? Why couldn’t her brain just shut up for a moment? Margo whispered an apology, and that was enough to confirm that this was really happening. But then, she hadn’t actually really managed to fool herself. Odette clung to her friend. “W-what am I going to do?” She whispered, her voice shaky. “Margo, I… I don’t know what to do.” She knew she was repeating the same thing, but somehow the words didn’t feel like enough. Did Margo understand what she meant? That her entire world had lost its foundation? She had never really thought she relied on her mother, especially not in the last few years when their relationship had worsened. But she had been her home, the only place in the world that was hers. Now that was gone. What was going to happen to her house? Her things? Odette started breathing quickly, feeling almost buried underneath the different alarming and upsetting thoughts that were crowding into her mind. She pulled back slightly to look at Margo, hoping that her expression would convey something, anything that would help Margo fix this. Help her. But she knew her friend couldn’t actually do anything. Her eyes were wide with panic, fear, and hurt as she looked at Margo. Her lip started to tremble but no new sobs escaped her. She really should be crying more, right? What if she wasn’t sad enough?

 

[Margo Ellis]

Margo couldn't imagine losing her mother. She just couldn't. The closest relative she'd lost was her grandfather, and that had hurt enough. She held Odette tighter still, so tight she worried she might be hurting her, but she didn't let go. More than anything she wished she could answer Odette's question, or at least offer her some comfort, but she wasn't clever enough and didn't have the right words. This wasn't something she'd prepared for. It wasn't something either of them should have needed to prepare for - not at sixteen. "I'm always going to be here," Margo told her friend, as if she really had the power to promise this. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's going to be okay." Another guess. Margo didn't know what happened to teenagers who didn't have anybody to look after them. What if Odette had to move away? This was all so wrong. One moment, everything had been OK, and the next the whole world was on fire. She couldn't even offer Odette a place to stay, because she knew her parents would never allow it - and anyway, it could only ever be temporary. What was Odette going to do long-term? "Do you have any aunts or uncles?" she asked. It was the only thing she could think of.

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette’s breath was slowly getting under control, but she still trembled a little as she looked at Margo pleadingly for any sort of resolution for this. She was glad her friend was still holding her, because a part of her felt like Margo was the only reason she hadn’t fallen over yet. It seemed to require a lot of energy to simply stay upright, but she tried to focus on Margo’s words regardless. She nodded numbly at her first statement, not even questioning it. Of course Margo was always going to be here. That was almost a given. But when she said it would be okay, Odette couldn’t bring herself to believe it. What would happen to her? Her mother had never been a source of comfort, but at least she had been a stable and constant part of Odette’s life. She had always known her mother didn’t exactly welcome her at home, but at least she’d had a home. A small, hysterical laugh escaped her at Margo’s next question. “No. No, not... I mean, I don’t know.” She said, shaking her head. “Not on my mom’s side. And I think that’s… that’s the only side that matters, really.”

 

[Margo Ellis]

As much as Margo had expected. Yet even though she'd known it was unlikely, she'd desperately hoped there might be someone who could take care of Odette. She could stay at the school over Christmas, but what about the winter holidays? And that was only a couple of months away. If she couldn't find an arrangement by then... what would happen to her? Margo couldn't stand the thought of her having to move away. Odette meant everything to her. Life without her was unimaginable. It had been hard enough when they'd fallen out for a while, but if Odette was on the other side of the world, Margo didn't know how she'd cope. All of this scrolled selfishly through her mind as she sat there holding her best friend, who had just lost her mother. "What about grandparents? Or family friends? You know you can stay with me for a while, but... Oh, I'm so sorry." People were starting to come out of the great hall, and some of them were staring. "Do you want to go somewhere else? Or we can stay here -it's okay. I'll stay with you."

 

[Odette Madison]

A pounding headache was starting to form in the back of Odette’s skull, and she squeezed her eyes shut before pulling out of Margo’s grasp. She rubbed her face, taking a few deep breaths. Tears still weren’t really coming, which was mildly concerning to Odette, but there were more important things to focus on. Margo’s words were filling her with dread, as she had to shake her head at her suggestions. “It was just us.” She said quietly, barely noticing the people who passed them and stared at her. Only a few years ago the thought of people seeing her red and blotchy face would have horrified her. Ironically, it would have horrified her mother too. But it didn’t matter anymore. She shook her head as Margo suggested she could stay with her for a while. “I don’t think I have much of a choice about where I go.” She said quietly, the reality of that sinking in. “My dad… he won’t take me. And that’s good, because I don’t want him to.” Odette shook her head. “I’ll just see what happens,” she said, her voice defeated. “We can go somewhere else. I just don’t… know.” Her voice faltered and she shrugged helplessly. She thought Margo probably wanted to take her away from the staring people passing her, but Odette didn’t really know where else to go. She wanted to crawl into her bed and hide under the covers, but Margo couldn’t follow her there. “Anywhere is fine.” She muttered.