The Distance must be Bridged

[Jayma Ovanisse]

Jayma had been excited at the prospect of her eldest daughter returning home but since she had, Shalamar had kept very much to herself. Taking long walks along the riverbank, even long talks with her grandmother but all the time being careful not to be alone with either of her parents. Jayma watched her now as she approached her on silent feet. The bridge over the small river was very old and extremely picturesque as roses had been trained to intertwine around the beams over head. Her daughter sat on the bridges frame leaning her back against one of the few wooden pillars.

Jayma’s hand tentatively touched her hair.
“Jeon? May I sit with you?”

 

[Shalamar Ovanisse]

Shalamar heard the silent padding of feet upon the wooden bridge and knew instantly who it was. Her mother had tried countless times now to talk with her since her return but she simply was not ready to face her. Her mother would surely see the betrayal etched on her face. How could she explain to her mother of all people that at thirteen years of age she had bestowed her heart to someone who quite frankly did not want it or need it, would only torture it given half the chance. She closed her eyes against that thought, she was thinking like everyone else and that was unfair to him.

Nodding her head she did not directly answer her mother. She had only been home five days and she had yearned to be back at the school by the second. Her grandmother had spoken with her, listening carefully to the details that had been omitted from their letters. Explaining about Daniel and how he was of no consequence to her and about Henric. This her grandmother knew from tone of voice alone was very dangerous ground but still for her own gain, her grandmother was willing to speak with her parents. Shalamar figured this was now why her mother came to seek her alone.

 

[Jayma Ovanisse]

The nod of her daughters head was a little in the way of consolation, Jayma had felt keenly everyday as she watched her beloved daughter that she was slipping away from her. She ached for the days when Shalamar would come running to her with the simplest of her worries but that seemed so very long ago now and her heart broke to see the pain that paled her daughters features.

She was lucky that her mother had told her a little of what had been transpiring in her daughters life. Often she had spoken with her husband about the arranged marriage but he was so set on it, nothing she said or did would change his mind. Not even the saddened face of his eldest daughter, who paled more daily. Who seemed to grow thinner with each passing moment. Jayma knew that if she brought the matter to his attention, Shalamar would be returned home instantly.

She did not sit down with her daughter though, instead she began to smoothen the long tresses, removing a bone tooth comb from her own hair she began to comb in long gentle strokes down through the raven hair.
"Will you not talk with me Jeon? Tell me what is in your heart? I am not the enemy" her voice was tender and expectant. Hoping that her precious daughter would open up to her even one more time.

 

[Shalamar Ovanisse]

The gentle strokes seemed to aggravate the desolation that she was consumed by. It seemed so utterly unfair that life would throw such preoccupations in her way. Maybe she should have stayed at home, maybe she would be better here. It was safer wasn't it? Moving her head only a fraction to the side she reached back a hand to touch her mothers.
"You are not my enemy" how could her mother even think this but then again, Shalamar had been so distant. Had pushed so hard and so far away since her return or was it simply since her very first meeting with Henric.

"I cannot speak. I fear I have been disloyal to you and father and revealing my heart would make me disloyal to it" her words were like a knife edge cutting through her soul. She was too young, much too young for this. For any of this and yet her parents had chosen this specific age to arrange the marriage with Shang Lee.

 

[Jayma Ovanisse]

It had been a few years now since they had come to this house for their holidays. Since Shalamar had started at Hogwarts they had spent all of her vacation time there in New Zealand but with Shang Lee living here in China it had made more sense to return here and have the two young children meet as they were meant too. As Jayma thought the very words 'young children' she sighed, it was now the 21st century and perhaps it was time they joined it. Was it really right to expect this from her daughter?

"You could never be disloyal to me or your father" she continued to comb the silken strands of her daughters hair, "but do not be disloyal ever to yourself. Will you please talk with me Jeon?"

She looked out across the water to the cherry trees in the far orchard, the sight was beautiful but the girl, her daughter before her even more so. She would do anything for her but could she go against her husbands wishes. In all of their married life she had not.

 

[Shalamar Ovanisse]

Shalamar sighed then slowly turned around to face her mother.
"Is it possible then to love? To love at my age?" her eyes were brimming with tears as the pain in her heart finally revealed itself.

"It was not my fault or his. In truth he does not even know how I feel or if he suspects he does not taunt me about it. I will honor your decision about Shang Lee but I know I will never be happy about it" her words were like blades that sliced the very heart of her, she had finally been brave enough to speak out about her heart the little good it would do her. There had been no point really to her telling, it was not as if Henric cared for her the same way. He had moments where by he was gentle and kind to her but always when no one else could witness. She was the fly caught up in a web, a web he continued to make around her.

"Will father hate me so?"

 

[Jayma Ovanisse]

Jayma looked at her daughter wondering when she became the young woman before her, she wrapped her arms around her instantly and consoled her with gentle coo's before tenderly releasing her again.
"Oh Jeon" she tilted her daughters face up to meet hers and producing a hanky began to dab the tears away. What was she supposed to say to this? Where was the book to help her here, no chapter in her life so far had prepared her for this. She should have known it would happen though, as soon as Jeon had left for Hogwarts she had begun to read the signs that indicated her daughters happiness lay elsewhere but if this boy did not return the feelings then that at least was some good news. She knew this was selfish of her but Jeon was much too young to waste her life on a boy, even Shang Lee but at least their marriage would not be until after she graduated.

"I think... I think it is possible to love at any age. You love your parents do you not? You love your siblings?" she was distracting her with word games but felt it necessary.

 

[Shalamar Ovanisse]

Shalamar inhaled deeply, feeling the sadness wash over her. She heard her mothers words and nodded her head slowly.
"Of course I love you both and I love my brothers and sister" she tried to understand where her mother was going with this. They were a different type of love but a love all the same. Perhaps her mother had not intended for her to begin thinking along the lines she now did but a slow smile began in her heart that willed her to hope. Not necessarily for her feelings for Henric but for the fact that she was capable at her age of loving and if she was capable of loving her family, then surely her heart was equally capable of loving someone other than they. She knew she loved her new best friend Artemis, so here again was proof. Why had she not seen this before? It was as if her predicament concerning the arranged marriage and her confusion regarding Henric in relation to her, had clouded her intellect.

She would not ask her mother any more questions regarding this matter, Shalamar suspected that her mother would not tell her the whole truth any how.
"Was your marriage arranged?" this was a different tact altogether but she needed to know her mothers full insight to this.

 

[Jayma Ovanisse]

Jayma smiled at her beloved daughter wishing that she was not in such a rush to grow up just yet.
"Love is very difficult my darling. One day it buoys you up out of harms way another it makes you feel crushed and desolate. It is unconditional for some and full of conditions for others. You have all the time in the world Jeon, please do not rush this. Be sure of your heart" she reached out to touch her daughters hair tenderly once more, knowing her love for her children was the unconditional kind. Inhaling deeply when asked about her own marriage, Jayma became momentary thoughtful as if thinking through what answer would be best to give.

"I had an arranged marriage organized for me, yes" she told her daughter rising from her perch to try now to draw an end to the talk before she would have to say more than this.