Closed The Cycle Repeats

[Alexander Alcott]

Alex felt a little odd being on this side of Corinne's door, after she had been on this side of his so often. He hadn't ever actually been the one to visit her since her arrival in Aotearoa, it was always Corinne at his door, Corinne sniffing around for ways she could take up Alex's time, his energy, his resources. As desperately as he had wanted to be able to mould her into a real mother for Louis, after some soul-searching Alex had finally acknowledged his own naievity. Corinne had resolved somewhere along the line to spend her life as a leech and leave everyone else to clean up her messes, and he had been an idiot to think she could change.

But despite his finally acknowledging that Corinne was never going to be a mother to Louis, she was still very much Anouk's mother, and that worried him enormously. It was none of his business, he knew that, but the father Corinne had turned him into when she abandoned Louis in his arms was a man who could never just leave a baby in that kind of situation. Getting to know Corinne properly had shown him exactly what kind of childhood Louis had dodged by staying with him, and he couldn't doom Anouk to that same fate. Of everyone in this situation, she and Louis were the ultimate victims. So Alex drew a heavy breath as he knocked on Corinne's door, bracing himself for another painful conversation with the grating woman.

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne was done. She needed to leave, to go. She had been very careful with the money Richard had paid her, in the back of her mind she had always known it would be money she'd use to get away. To travel and leave again. She couldn't do this. At night, she kept seeing Louis' hurt eyes, often her dreams then morphed them into Anouk, the way she would look at her when she was older. Corinne wasn't made to be a mother, everything in the world had made that clear to her.

While her daughter was napping, Corinne had gone into a frenzy. She had started packing up her apartment, putting things on boxes and bags. She'd throw a lot of it out, then she would take what she'd need and... go, see the world. Her mind wouldn't let her even think about Anouk, what she would have to do to be able to go. Anouk would be better off without her. She'd find some better family if Corinne gave her up. She wasn't made to be a parent, and she knew by now that Richard was quite possibly an even worse option. Corinne would just... give her up, then she would be free again. She felt a manic sort of relief. She jumped when there was a knock on the door, her heart pounding. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong, but she still felt caught out. Especially when she opened the door and saw Alexander standing there. She didn't want his judgement. "I'm busy." She said, as if she though it would really make him go away.

 

[Alexander Alcott]

Of all the things Alex had expected Corinne to be doing, packing hadn't even made the list. But the boxes and bags behind her were undeniable, and his heart dropped into his stomach. "You're leaving?!" He croaked, all of the questions he had planned flying out of his head. "You can't just go, travelling with a toddler isn't like travelling alone! What about preschool, Anouk's going to need education soon!" Corinne had never in her life been responsible, but somehow this felt like a new low. At least with Louis she had had the sense to leave him with Alex.

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne flushed as Alexander immediately noticed she was getting out of here. She didn't want him to see right through her, but she supposed the half-opened boxes and the clutter behind her gave her away. She frowned. "I can do what I want, Alexander- don't worry about me." She snapped. "I'll- I'll get out of here and figure something out." She said evasively. She couldn't quite meet his eyes, sure he would see right through her the moment they made eye contact.

 

[Alexander Alcott]

Alex leaned in urgently, one hand on the door so that Corinne couldn't close it on him. "Corinne, that's not how children work!" He pleaded. "You can't just figure something out. You chose to have this responsibility, you can't f*ck her life up just because it's hard!"

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne grimaced when she noticed Alexander was blocking her from closing the door, she should have thought to do that sooner. She shook her head firmly. "I can! I won't be her problem anymore anyway!" She snapped, feeling cornered. She hadn't meant to say it, but as soon as it burst out, she took a step back. "Go away, Alexander, I'm not your problem any more either."

 

[Alexander Alcott]

It took a moment for the words to filter from Alex's ears to his comprehension, and a sharp bolt of dread shot through him as he realised what Corinne had said. "Corinne, no!" He snapped, panicking. "You can't just leave her with her father this time, that man is a monster. You- you're the most irresponsible person- how did you get this far only to give up like this?! Can you not put yourself aside and think about Anouk for a second?!"

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne shook her head firmly at Alexander's words, wanting to push him out of her space. "GO away!" She yelled at him. "Her dad won't acknowledge her- and I can't do it. She's not going there, I'm giving her up!" She snapped. "Someone will take her, someone who actually wants her. And I'll be free."

 

[Alexander Alcott]

Alex's stomach boiled, tension girding his shoulders as his mind raced in panic. Two years of doing his best to teach Corinne how to be a parent, two years of watching Anouk grow, doing far more than Corinne had had any right to ask, two years of- he couldn't. "Nobody's going to take her!" He croaked. "She's not a newborn, she'll get put in foster care! Which - who knows if anyone will want to adopt her at that age! You'd be orphaning her, just because-because you can't..." The words all caught up to one another, knotting in his throat as they fought to break free and tell Corinne exactly what he thought of her - her flightiness, her irresponsibility, her selfishness - but of all the things, it was blind panic that won out. "I'll take her." He breathed, heart leagues ahead of his head. "I-I'll take her, I'll adopt her, you can't just throw her away. I'll take her."

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne groaned in frustration. "Someone will! I- I've give up TWO YEARS. I can't do it anymore." She snapped. "I don't expect you to understand." She added, starting to push the door closed despite Alexander's hand being in the way. She stopped when he said he would take her, staring at him in shock before letting out a disbelieving laugh. "Why? Why would you?" She asked, incredulous. She snorted. "You never tire of it, do you? Playing the hero. Showing everyone how much better than me you are."

 

[Alexander Alcott]

All his life Alex had never felt a violent bone in his body, but right now a boiling, hateful part of himself yearned to lash out, the need to release the anger bubbling beneath his skin. He settled for pushing the door wider open, arms flexing with unexpressed rage. "THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME!" He yelled, temper getting the best of him. "Or you! This is about your DAUGHTER! She is the ONLY person who matters in all this!" He braced firmly on the door, meeting Corinne's eyes. "I'll adopt her, on two conditions. One - don't ever contact any of us again. Anouk, Louis, me - as far as we're concerned, you're dead." He spat. "Two - don't ever have another child. You can never do this again. Use protection, get your tubes tied, whatever - you are not fit to be a parent, and you never will be. I'll take Anouk, and you'll never have to be one again."

 

[Corinne Durand]

Corinne winced when Alexander started yelling at him. She gave up on trying to close the door, taking steps backwards away from him. Vaguely, she noticed Anouk starting to cry in her room. She shook her head, trying to take it all in. "I- I-" She stammered. "Fine!" She finally shouted back. "But- if Louis wants to contact me- he should be able to." She said weakly, entirely unsure if she ever wanted that.

 

[Alexander Alcott]

Alex's hackles raised even more when he heard Anouk start crying, folowed by a flood of relief when Corinne agreed. "He won't want to." He said firmly, finally stepping into the flat. He closed the door behind him as he headed towards Anouk's room. "He's made that very clear." He softened his tone as he reached Anouk's room, gently lifting her out of her cot and shushing her as he held her close and started to rock her. "I can take her now and send you the paperwork, if you want."