The Cabbage Patch Baby

[Artemis Tuuri]

Artemis gently shook the vial in her hand and watched it quietly as it turned a vibrant pink. Well, there it was. After a few odd evenings of nausea (something she'd experienced perhaps five times in her life) and some annoying headaches, the part-goblin had her suspicions, but she skipped her monthlies as neatly as if it were planned, and then she got brewing. She didn't tell Kellin about her suspicions; no use upsetting her poor boyfriend (Boyfriend! Lord help her if she'd fallen pregnant before they'd even thought about marriage). The elfin girl just got down to it, puttering around her garden and raiding her mother's stores for ingredients.

The evidence was in as a purple, iridescent solution would have meant an empty womb. Pink seemed prophetic towards having a girl, but in reality it could always be either. Art swirled the vial again and decided she decided it was to be a boy, though she'd no basis for that assumption. Still, it would be something to joke about with Kellin. Oh, Kellin, sighed Artemis inwardly in concern. I hope he doesn't puke as much as I've been doin'.

Her boyfriend had made himself a permanent fixture in the large family home. Her mother was away in England sorting out her twin sister's affairs (poor Aunt Bonnie - sixty-four was a decent age to pop ones clogs, but she'd missed her first niece!) so they'd had the house to themselves. Her part-goblin partner had taken very well to her ark of animals and helped as best he could, but his version of 'helping' often ended up hindering as the crup puppies got too worked up to be fed.
"Cherub?" called Artemis up the stairs, vial clutched in one tiny fist. "Are ye up there with Snores? Can ye come down, a minute?"​

 

[Kellin Tuuri]

Kellin knew that sometimes he could be quite the handful, but the pint-sized man felt that he was actually being of some use, here. He had never actually had a proper girlfriend before, he and Artemis lived in the same home together, and did about as much together as they possibly could. Whether it was cooking (where he would do his best to not drop the things), or taking care of the animals (where he would do his best to not hurt the delightful creatures), or even fixing the odd thing that broke in the house (where Kellin would mostly observe in a painful silence, trying not to distract his girlfriend as she worked). It all seemed to work just fine for them, and he was deliriously happy.

Especially with his most recent playmate, Snores, curled up on his chest doing what the little critter did best - snore. It was certainly endearing, and when he heard Artemis call, he did his best to not awaken him - but inevitably failed. Scooping him up instead and cradling him, Kellin hopped off the bed and wandered down the stairs - missing a step each time, he jumped the final step with a little 'HA!', and petted Snores' head, before grinning at Artemis - not even noticing the vial. "What's up Buttercup?"
​

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

No matter her trepidation, at the first sign of her boyfriend's bright smile, Artemis relaxed into the dopey grin of a woman in love. It was a little pathetic, really, but no one could fault them for finding comfort in each other when they'd spent so much time stumbling along in life by themselves.
"Here, let me take the kit. I've got summat important tae tell ye, and I don't want ye droppin' him in a fright." said the goblin girl, holding her hands out and scooping the nearly full-grown half kneazle into her hands before setting him on the floor. The kitten immediately gamboled away in pursuit of a dust mote and disappeared around the corner. "Alright, come and sit down, panda bear."

Art settled them both on the sofa in the front parlour, nuzzling herself up close to her partner and holding his hands in hers. The cuddling was very much her, but the hand-holding wasn't; it just seemed like the thing to do when one had life-changing news.
"Welllll," she began uncertainly. "I told ye I was sick lately, so I figured I'd do some testin' of my own before I headed to the Healer's. That's what this is," Art told Kellin, wobbling the vial at him from her other hand. "Don't worry, it's nothin' bad. I suppose it's rather good, if ye like children." She'd ****** the whole thing up already. Artemis bopped her head onto Kellin's shoulder and sighed at herself. "Sorry. What I meant to say is that I tested to see if I was pregnant, just in case. Er, I am. Pregnant, I mean. Expectin'. Up the duff. In the family way. Turning into a thesaurus." She started to giggle a bit hysterically.​

 

[Kellin Tuuri]

Kellin hadn't really known Artemis to be the worrying type - or perhaps he rarely noticed. A lot slipped past the part-goblin, but when he did catch on, he tended to pay as much attention as possible. He tilted his head as they sat on the couch, not quite getting worried, but certainly getting confused. He grinned at the pet-name, however, and waited as patiently as he could manage as she seemed to be trying to work her way around to what was worrying her so much. He squeezed her hands to try and get her to move along a little, the gesture being a little weird for him, but not quite so as to be uncomfortable.

Kellin looked at the vial, now wondering whether she did have some sort of illness - she was acting a little weird. The sickness he just put down to his bad cooking, because it really wasn't that farfetched. His eyebrows knitted together as the pieces began falling into place, and his entire facial expression lit up. Pregnant? "Oh my God!" he squeaked, slapping his hand over his mouth, before flailing and jumping on the seat. "We're having a baby?! Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"
​

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

Artemis opened and closed her mouth a few times before hesitantly telling Kellin, "Boy." Well, she had no proof, and truthfully she'd like to keep it a surprise until the birth (the birth! Merlin's beard, she was going to give birth!), but Kellin would only hear her prattle on about her surety at a later date. The goblin girl watched her boyfriend flap around, bemused, and his excitement became infectious. Somehow, all she'd been able to feel was trepidation until she looked upon her partner's sweet, loving face. This was an adventure she knew nothing about. Climbing trees and nursing mooncalves were her forte, not keeping babes at the breast. Not a trace of fear entered Kellin's eyes, and Artemis found herself grinning from ear to pointed ear.

"So ... ye're happy?" she ventured, then laughed at her silly question. Art threw herself on top of Kellin and wrestled him into a hug. It was like hugging a blast-ended skrewt mid cannon-fire, but it was worth it. Every moment she'd ever spent with him had been worth it. 'They' would become us, and we. She blew a raspberry on his cheek in her happiness. "We're gonna have tae tell everyone, y'know! Yer da and step-mum, my mum and da, all the brothers and sisters. Da's sick so we'll have tae travel, but we can see Deirdre! Oh and while we're there, Aunt Miriac and Uncle Toby-" Artemis prattled away in excitement.​

 

[Kellin Tuuri]

A boy?! Kellin could not believe what he was hearing. It was all slowly beginning to soak into his mind. He was going to be a father to a little boy! With the woman he loved! He was glad to see a smile upon her face, because it felt like his own was going to crack his face open. He didn't know how she knew the gender of their to-be baby, but he didn't think to question it at all. He was already thinking about names, how nice it would be to have a baby around the house, how beautiful Artemis would look - and all the people they would need to tell!

"Happy?" he asked, shaking his head. "I'm ecstatic!" Like it wasn't obvious from his flails and cheeps, he was deliriously so. His arms wrapped around her immediately, squeezing her tight (but not too tight!) and laughed happily as she blew a raspberry on his cheek, going bright pink in the face. He was already forming a list in his mind of all the people they would have to tell. His aunt, his parents and mother and all his siblings and nieces and nephews - his father lived close with Kata and their children, it'd only be a short travel and his older brother, Jaako. "We should go and visit everyone!" He finally decided, still holding her close for nuzzles.
​

 

[Artemis Tuuri]

"Oh, aye," replied Artemis, tickled pink. "A nice 'round trip around New Zealand, then Europe, I think. We should knock everyone out in one go if we hit England, then Finland." There was so much to think about! She'd have to get Connie, Bess or Gregory around to look after the animals, though Con and Greg were a bit preoccupied with their new beaus. Bess, then. Kellin would no doubt try to smuggle some of the pocket pets with them (or shrink the bigger ones down; that would be a disaster. Her purse had once exploded into a full grown cow in the middle of the markets when Kellin's spell wore off), so she'd have to check their bags thoroughly. Perhaps she could allow him one of the puffskeins ...

Ah, Art suddenly recollected something that she'd worried about in the wee hours of the morning. Her dear Father, bless his heart, and her feisty mother would probably like to see them get married, especially Da since he was quite ill. None of his six children had yet walked down the aisle, and his eldest was in his forties now. They wouldn't shun her if she wasn't wed, but in her heart of hearts, Artemis felt like it was the right thing to do. What would her boyfriend think? Would he think she was too traditional? Merlin save her if he said no.

Giving Kellin a look filled with trepidation, the elf-like woman wound her fingers around his and leaned in to nuzzle him. "I have a proposal to make..."​

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~FIN~​