Sweet Rapture

Ryuu held his gaze at the sky until she happened to ask him about the dream. Should he share it, or just give her a tiny bit of information about it? There was so much blood in his dream, nightmares full of death and all of that was just memories that were mixed with the darkness that inhabited his home. Ryuu thought it over, and his gaze fell to the ground below them. He would reveal just a little bit. Might as well. “Death. That is what inhabits my dreams. Death of my mother. The training, and what I will become when I am an adult. It is just…fate. I will spare you the details, for it is the replica of what my training is and what it is for.” Ryuu’s words were soft, and his English, though choppy, was not fading in the least bit. Not right now at least. Perhaps when he was out of his shell much more when he would reveal all of what and who he was to Merlina. But right now, the Gryffindor was nothing short of a mystery. One that could not be solved unless he himself solved it first.
 
She felt terrible for asking him once she heard what he dreamed about, never before had she wanted to cast some sort of protective spell around him this strongly. She also wanted to simply fling her arms about him and hold him safely within her arms allowing nothing bad to ever touch him again. She wished again that she had brought her wand with her but now she had a very good idea what to get him as a gift over the holiday season. She had not known about his mother and felt the deepest sympathy for him now as her soft hand gently covered one of his.

"I didn't know ... sorry" there was so much about what he had said that disturbed her but she did not know where to begin with any of it. Her understanding of his life seemed always to upturn just when she thought she was making any head way at all.
"What will you become when you're an adult Ryuu?" she wondered for the very first time if they would even still know one another then and found herself hoping that nothing could break their friendship apart between now and then.
 
Ryuu simply flinched at the contact, but he did not move to break it either. His pale blue eyes gazed down at her hand over his. She seemed so warm, pulsing with life. Something he had yet to experience even to the smallest degree. Ryuu released a soft sigh and he spoke, “It is fine. I did not feel anything when mother passed. It is how I am. I don’t…feel like you all do.” Ryuu would be lying if he said that he was glad that emotions like grieving and laughing were a waste of breath. They weren’t. It was human. As human as he was, he didn’t feel it. Ryuu heard the question, and he opened his mouth to answer, yet nothing came out. He knew he was training to be a guardian, and yet, he didn’t know what the purpose was for. “I…I am unsure. Guardian for someone, but that is all I know.” He wanted to break from what was to become, but truthfully, Ryuu was far from doing that.
 
She shuddered at his words, feeling almost devastated by them. It was not that they were so very harsh but that they belonged to her best friend and she wished so fervently for a different life for him completely. She wished he could feel as others did, any emotion would do just once he felt something at all. Merlina had seen him flinch from her touch and thought he would have pulled his hand away but so far he hadn't and she refused to be the one to remove her hand from his, when to her this was exactly where it should be.

"They don't even tell you who you have to be Guardian for?" she thought this unfair, that her best friend would at some point in their lives get taken from her completely to watch and guard over someone. Merlina sighed gently looking up at the sky.
"If you could have had a different life would you or are you actually ... okay with what you are going to become? with how you're being treated?"
 
Ryuu slowly shook his head. “After training, I must guard someone that needs to be guarded. Someone of royalty. I do not know who, but I do believe that my father chooses for me. Or rather, leave it to the fates to choose who I am destined to.” Ryuu did not know exactly why or how this was chosen, but it was actually so hidden, to clouded behind a curtain of mystery, that after this cruel training, the newly pronounced guardians were more or less like ninjas.

Ryuu shook his head, “Father told me the time will come, and then I will know who I am supposed to protect with my life.” The training might be brutal but when his father went through his training, he found who he was supposed to be protecting for all of his life – Ryuu’s mother. However, she died of a disease that even he could not protect her from. Ryuu’s father used this to try to force upon Ryuu. It wasn’t long now before he trained in medicine as well as fighting. Her question stunned him. Would be pick something else? “Humanity is never truly happy about anything. There is always something to complain about. I have been taught to never complain, and never question. There is a purpose to all this training, and when I turn sixteen, the reasons are revealed.” That was what he had been told once. Ever since then, he remembered.
 
Merlina moved from where she sat, so that she could kneel instead and turn to face him. As precarious as the action was, considering where they were sitting and how high they were and most of all because she flatly refused to let his hand go, Merlina was just amazed she managed to kneel at all with the level of grace she had done it with. Looking at him closely she felt a wave of melancholy grip her.

"When you turn 16? But that is not far away at all. That's ... Ryuu that is only two years away" her heart felt as if it would scream and break into a thousand pieces, "Does that mean I only have two years left with you? That you will only be here at this school for two more years before ..."
Her voice faltered, the very thought of never seeing him again cut her deeply. She was unbelievably loyal and extremely possessive. In her young mind, Ryuu was and always would be hers, even if they grew up and he fell in love and married someone else. Which of course she knew would never happen. Ryuu could not feel anything, so falling in love with anyone even herself was out of the question but still she thought of him as her best friend. Her great love ... though she would never speak of this to him.

She knew he was right about the happiness part as well but couldn't bring herself to speaking about that either for again she believed her own happiness would be truly cemented if he were in her life forever.
 
"...Before I know what my purpose is, yes, two more years," Ryuu murmured. Why did she think that he was leaving the school? Was it something he said? Ryuu tried to get that meaning from his words, but alas he could not. English was so difficult to really understand. It was awarding, but Ryuu had yet to know this. He would receive a hint at his fifteenth birthday. That the prize in the end would be awarding enough to keep going, to keep pushing through the training. It would be the best in the end, for everyone. However, due to his nature, he would have to keep to a muggle lifestyle.

Ryuu's magic was common, but his forte was physical fighting. "I will be remaining here to learn all the magic that I can before resorting to a muggle lifestyle. I...was raised around very minimum magic. I believe I will be graduating with our class." Ryuu barely looked at her at this point, as his pale blue eyes drifted off elsewhere. He was in deep thought of what his future would be like. He did not see anything other than training. Everything beyond that was out of reach, glazed over by clouds, blocking his views.
 
Slowly she slid her hand from his, as if the years were already imposing themselves on the two of them. Merlina gazed off across the night sky feeling wretchedly empty inside for all of five minutes. She lived in the wizarding world and always had. Her family were purebloods, they would never forgive her if she announced that she wanted to live in the muggle world. But that's where he would be and without her.

She was glad to hear he would be with her until graduation at least and she chanced a smile because of this.
"Then I still have you for the next four years ... as my friend I mean. I will help to teach you all the magic that I can before your time in the wizarding world is up" shuffling herself to the edge she attempted to wiggle her way down to the north tower floor once more but pushed a little too hard and fell with a resounding thud to the hard concrete floor. Her knees banged hard on the ground and she cried out from the pain, turning herself around so that she was sitting down with her legs bunched up slightly before her so she could look at the two reddened whelps of knees she now possessed.

A cut spread across one, blood beginning to seep from it's narrow line while the other looked swollen. She knew both would bruise badly, she may appear tough as nails but she bruised like a ripened tomato.
 
There was something even Ryuu did not like about magic. He preferred to know everything about something in order to practice it. He went to follow Merlina, and when he heard a thud, Ryuu rushed to her rescue, and knelt down beside her. He had landed with much grace and silently as he did so. Ryuu placed his hand on her back and he whispered, "Are you all right?" Another emotion wrote clear in his eyes, something that was never there before: worry. He was worried over Merlina and possibly hurting herself. Ryuu failed to protect her from this, and that struck through him like nothing he had ever felt before. He didn't know what to think, what to do. But right now, he was hovering over her like a dark angel.
 
Merlina had not expected him to come so swiftly to her aid, she knew of course that he would come but she had barely fallen when he was there beside her. She wished she could be mistaken but her heart demanded that she keep some hope alive, for surely that was concern in his voice and in his eyes and for her. He had instigated a touch without any prompt from her to do so and as a result of it Merlina all but forgot the pain in her knees as she looked up at him kneeling beside her.

As she did she could clearly see it, for no emotion ever displayed itself on his features and she had often wondered if they could hold to any part of him internally either but there as sure as the blood dripped from her knee; was concern etched on his beautiful face, shining from his beautiful eyes. Startled she glanced back at her knees before looking up at him once again and nodding her head.
"I am Ryuu, thank you. It was a silly accident but I'm fine, really" she held up her hand to him, so that he could help her to stand for though she insisted she was fine, her knees felt as if they would buckle beneath her again if she did not have support.
 
Ryuu stood up straight and he took her hand into his. He gently helped her up and even though that she said that she was fine, he was still highly unsure. "I could take you to the hospital wing if you like, Merlina." Concern laced with his cold voice. Ryuu just hoped that she was actually all right. He felt rather disappointed in himself because he felt like he could have prevented it. She got hurt, even just a little, and his worry soon faded to the usual coldness and nothingness he had upon him.
 
His touch was so gentle, so tender when he helped her up that she could not equate the touch with him at all. He was so hard, so lean and toned. There was no way she wanted to release his hand now, the very touch of his skin against hers was so beautiful and felt so perfect as if they were meant to be joined like this. She wanted to sigh because Ryuu would never feel for her the way she did for him. Would never get excited over the touch of her hand, the way his set her pulse racing. As he said her name she looked from their hands to his face and knew she loved him. Knew the pain of unrequited love would be hers to bear for as long as she lived, for she could never visualise herself with anyone else. Did not want to contemplate such an absurd situation as that. She was his, heart, mind, body and soul and he knew it not.

"Yes please Ryuu" she smiled at him, unable to stop her emotions from literally glowing from her. It hurt her to see the transformation occur before her very eyes. The concern that had momentarily been there was now gone, replaced by his usual stoic self. He had retreated once more to his world of nothingness, where she could not reach him no matter how desperately she wanted too.

They made their way carefully down the steps of the tower and along the corridors to the hospital wing. With every step she felt the jarred impact on her bruised and torn knees but nothing compared to the pain that was slowly wrapping its way around her heart. She was doomed to be the best friend of her true love, doomed to endure his silence and his coolness always, doomed to want him and need him only to always be so aware that he did not want her, he did not need her or love her. He had a path, a chosen life set for him and she was not part of it in any way.
 
Ryuu's soul that contained every emotion he know knew how to experience went back and guarded by impressive shields. His pale blue eyes swimming with the beauty of nothing. Something that rare to people, for they grew up knowing what emotions to feel, whereas Ryuu grew up absent from it all. He was ignorant of how Merlina felt, for he didn't even know love. It had taken him three years of Hogwarts to develop a sense of friendship and a sense of worry, but how much longer until he knew the other emotions? It would be a while, but all was lost for the time being. Ryuu wasn't a normal boy, and Merlina accepted that. It wasn't often that someone so different was so accepted into a society where they clearly did not belong.

He had led the way, but though in reality, he was taking her by hand to the Hospital wing, in his mind, he was walking a path, and he felt something...or rather, like he was walking on that very path of life with someone. However, his or her face and body was much too hazy to figure out to Ryuu. His life was just beginning, and secrets would be revealed, and this was just a starting point in life. Ryuu's life. And there was someone there with him, destined to be there, but Ryuu couldn't see who it was.
Finished! ♥​
 
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