Sucker Love (Continued)

[Nixon Mercury]

Continued from here because I'm inspired and it's time to set up drams

Nixon didn’t know what he was doing, how to act, or what to say when Arvel sat down next to him. It made his stomach churn worrying that if he said anything it would break the silence that had fallen, ruining the fact Arvel accepted his offer to join him, so Nixon settled with sitting wordlessly, keeping his eyes on the horizon. He tried to remind himself he should be feeling relieved; at least he had company, at least he and Arvel were on speaking terms, sort of, and at least he wasn’t left alone to welcome a new year with rejection stinging in his chest. Even if he felt like he was walking on eggshells around Arvel, worried that saying or doing anything wrong would mean Arvel would change his mind and reject his company after all, it was better than being by himself surrounded by couples and families who seemed ultimately happier than he would ever be. This way, he could be distracted by wondering what to say next, and keep his mind worlds away from the problems he left at home.​

​

Soon enough the countdown to the new year began and Nixon felt a lump form in his throat. A new year was meant to represent a fresh start, resolving to learn and change from the past to create a brighter, happier future. While resolutions set in stone seemed like setting up a failure before the year even began, he did feel a need to make changes, if not for himself then for his soon to be born sibling. He wanted to be a good older brother, one that could be relied on and didn’t mess everything up without trying, and one that always knew the right thing to do, or the right thing to say. It was unrealistic to assume these changes would happen overnight given his history, though Nixon knew this was what he wanted to achieve in the new year. He knew it was better to start with small steps, by mending burned bridges and forming relationships without letting his worthlessness get in the way, and he thought it couldn’t hurt to start sooner rather than later. The countdown continued, the lump in Nixon’s throat was still present and his nerves kept him feeling unsettled, but he fought all of it, eventually turning to look at Arvel when a few seconds were left before midnight. “Do you want a new years kiss?” Nixon asked as he moved to place his hand over Arvel's. He hoped a kiss would right his past wrongs, mending everything that happened between them.​

 

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel let the countdown drown out the alarm bells ringing in his head. After everything Nixon had put him through, he knew it was dangerous to let himself enjoy this moment, but he didn't care. He couldn't care. He needed this. The company, the distraction, the feeling that he was wanted - even if the latter only lasted until Nixon decided to pretend he didn't exist again.

The warmth of Nixon's hand on his made him startle, and he looked up. Right here. Right now. That was what really mattered, wasn't it? He couldn't possibly guess what the next year held. He couldn't even guess what tomorrow held. And if Nixon was going to ghost him again, he would probably do it regardless of whether or not they kissed tonight. So why deny himself the pleasure?

Fireworks exploded, literally, as their lips met. There were cheers from the crowd, and Arvel could almost imagine that they were cheering not for arrival of the new year, but for them.