Closed Stuck between a rock and a hard conversation

[Willow Cullen]

Willow took a deep breath. she had had plenty of time to think over the holidays and she knew what she had to do. after the events at the yule ball she knew things could not keep on going as they were. as understanding as Noelle was she knew their relationship would not be the same. it was the second day back at school, slightly overcast with the threat of some rain potentially coming overnight, the clouds starting to build up over the horizon as if foreshadowing what was coming. she knew she couldn't put this conversation off any longer. she had done her best to plan what she was going to say and come up with some further things she could say to get the point across though she hoped that she wouldn't need to resort to them. she sat down leaning against the rock overlooking the lake. the hand in her pocket absentmindedly fidgeting with the small box inside as she waited for Noelle to arrive.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

The holiday was extremely long for the Hufflepuff. Noelle did not do much at home which was quite a surprise to the family. @Yvette Maxwell knew why but for some reason she did not rub it in his face. In fact, his twin tried to console him. It could be that @Joshua Toubia talked to her, or had some impact on her. Either way, he was thankful. He spent most of his time in his bedroom, exchanging letters with Alexis and even went to a Quidditch game with her brothers. The Ravenclaw had been a wonderful distraction, tagging him along to her strolls until he came across a beautiful red rose paperweight. His thoughts immediately went to Willow whom he missed terribly. They had separated ways on Yule Ball with heavy hearts and he was not able to find her before he left for the holidays. Many times he wanted to visit her at work but he refrained himself. With encouragement from Alexis, he bought two, one for him and the other for his girlfriend. ​

​

Noelle knew where to find her the moment he arrived back at the castle. With the gift in hand, he slowly made his way to the lakefront, specifically pebble beach. The redhead could not be found so he decided to take a walk until he reached Avie's Rock. A girl was there, but it was not his redheaded girlfriend. Or was it? It was Willow. With green hair. A smile just went to his face as he approached her. He did not stop himself. The moment he came close, he pulled her into a tight embrace before kissing her on the lips. "I miss you, girlfriend.", he whispered when they parted. "And your hair. It's green." His eyes danced with delight. Only she could immediately make him become alive.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

Willow looked over to watch someone approach. it took her a moment to recognise her b... to. recognise Noelle. she took a breath and then let it out forcing herself to remain calm. as he put her arms around her and kissed her she tensed and then pulled back a little. this was going to be hard enough she didn't need him to make it harder. as he said he had missed her she closed her eyes and nodded just a little. as he pointed out her new hair colour "and you have a beard" she said looking at him. trying to keep the tone of humour out of her voice. it looked different she sort of liked it but she couldn't let that thought effect her and bring out her emotions. "noe. we need to talk" she said feeling herself sink this was going to be a hard conversation.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle already had the sinking feeling in his heart. That this talk would probably the last time he would be with her this semester. She did not respond to his kiss, instead, she pulled back. "You don't miss me.", he whispered. It was more of a statement than a question. He did not need to ask. He stepped back, a bit hurt but he managed to smile palely as he touched his beard. Shrugging he went to a nearby bench, "Wanna sit?", he gestured to the chair. The paperweight he was holding seemed like a burden to him.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

as Noelle extrapolated what she ad said or rather what she hadn't said she shook her head slightly. if she was going to do this she was not going to be able to do it if she started nice. she had to lie. and it would be harder to ge convincing if she didn't start now. "not as much as I should have done" she said. which was actually more true than she would have admitted to herself but between work and having the whole family together including two babies one of which was both larger than average and crawling did mean there wasn't too much time to miss someone who wasn't there. he gestured to a bench and she got up and followed him towards it but didn't sit back down. the quicker she did this the easier it would be, for both of them. the less chance he would have to crack her facade. "Noe, I can't do this any more" she said reading into her pocket and taking out a small ring box holding it out for him to take. she was glad to be getting rid of it. every time that she had seen it over the holiday it had filled her with guilt. how he responded to this would determine how she would proceed with the conversation. she hoped she wouldn't be forced to take the hard line. as she was unsure how she would be able to maintain it.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle just looked toward the castle. He could not bear looking at his girl - Willow. His heart would just break all over again. And it did when she showed the ring box and handed it to him. He wordlessly took it and placed it in his pocket. Just before she could withdraw her hand, he caught it and without any announcement, he put the paperweight on her palm. "I saw this and thought of you.", he said, still holding her hand. "Keep it, girl - Will. Please.", he added, lifting his head to lock his gaze on her. "I know what you want to say. Just say it and be done with it.", his voice cracked. He already lost this time. And he did not want Willow to feel terrible about all of it.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

Willow was glad that Noelle had accepted the ring back. it made her feel a lot freer. but as she was about to retract her hand he took it and put something in it. it was heavier than the box and she looked at the paperweight and tried her best not to smile. it was nice something simple. and if he insisted she should have it she was not going to argue. she needed to save the arguing for the main point. "okay. thanks. it's pretty" she said simply. despite its physical weight she knew it would weigh far lighter on her conscience than the ring
despite the obvious negative reaction he had to her statement she was glad of it. it was as good as she could ask for. it was hard enough as it was and while she would have gone with the hard response the easier one was better "I don't want to be with you any more. she said. still not sure on the explanation she should give. that he deserved someone better than her. that was true but she knew he would be able to convince her the opposite of that. that they were from different worlds. that was true also she doubted that he would ever fit in with his families high society and she had a suspicion that her world would bore him after a while. then there was the Nasty excuse. that she didn't love him any more. or the real Nast that she never had. "I don't feel the same way about you as you clearly do about me. and its s unfair on you if I keep leading you on with promises I don't know if I will be able to keep" she said forcing herself to look him in the air as she watched the impact her words had. she was sure each of them would hurt him and his reaction would be like a blow to the chest to her. but she had to do it. she had to be the strong one for both of their sakes.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle's heart ached at the nonchalance Willow exhibited. Like she did not care. "As pretty as you.", he whispered. The ring box on his pocket felt heavier every second he was in her presence. It was a constant reminder of what happened and what was about to happen. Then it came. Like a punch to his gut, he almost stumbled back. He looked at her as she rambled on about why she could not be with him anymore. She was like acting one way and saying things the next. "You don't feel the same way about me?", he asked disbelievingly. She was the one who told him she loved him. So what was this nonsense? "Is this because of the engagement ring? Because I proposed?", he tried to control his voice. He did not want to argue with her but he could not help it when she was being unreasonable. "If it's too early for you, then I won't propose. That's why I gave this to you as a promise ring.", he reasoned out before stepping closer to her. "Promises or no promises, let's just go back to what we were, Willow." He reached out to cup her cheek, his tears already falling. He did not even bother to wipe them away as long as he stared into her eyes, not even daring to blink for he was afraid she would go away.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

Noelle was not making things easy for her. questioning everything she was saying when all she wanted to do was put her arms around him wipe his tears away and say she was sorry. but if they stayed together she would just keep hurting him more and more. "If I felt the same way about you then I would have been happy you proposed. I would have said yes without a second though of the implications." she said. she could see his face start to crumble and teas start to appear. she hated to hurt him like this but she couldn't think of a way not to. she let out an exasperated sigh more for herself for what she was going to have to do "You dont get it. you can't propose then take it back and expect everything to go back to how it was. an engagement ring can't turn into a promise ring just because it is more convenient. just because it changes its name doesn't mean that It loses the intention behind it." she said. "I need some space to breath. and you need someone who would be happy and excited at the prospect of spending the future with you. you are a good person and you deserve someone better than me." she said finishing her rant she was getting closer and closer to having to use the big excuse.

 

[Alexis Kramer]

Shoot me, shoot me please.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle shook his head. "Come on, Will. Please.", he pleaded, stepping even closer until they were almost pressed together. "What do you want me to do? Never mention the proposal?Promises?Engagement?" He was rambling already until he could not catch his breath anymore. "Anything, Will. I'll do it. For you." Noelle was the observant one and he could clearly see that she was also hurting.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

Willow shook her head. as Noelle begged her to change her mind. she had had the entire break to think about it she could feel his pain almost like a physical act in her chest but she couldn't back down. the longer she kept going the more it would hurt them both in the end. "no. noe. dont you see. you shouldn't have to. you should just be yourself. otherwise in ten, fifteen years time you are going to resent me for making you change or give up on who you are, or maybe you will resent me for not loving you as much as you love me. and I will probably end up resenting you for making me stay. the longer we force things to work the worse it will be when things fall apart" she said. hoping that he would stop fighting her decisio so they could each get away from this torment and have a space to breath.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle just kept silent as he gazed into her eyes. Hoping that somewhere within them, he could find hope. But it seemed it already died the moment she said those words. Who would have thought that the person who had brought him so much joy was the one who caused him so much pain? "But I am who I am, Will. With you.", he hoarsely said before crossing the short distance and hugged her. Her hugged her tightly as he buried his face on her neck."That's how it should be. Me loving you more than you love me.", he said, his shoulders shook at every tear that fell. His cries may be silent but he was already dying inside. For a few seconds, though it felt like an eternity, he whispered. "Can I ask a favor? For the last time?" He did not dare pulled away from his embrace.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

willow watched Noelle and wondered if she had gone too far. it was weird to see him almost broken from the inside. she hated herself for bringing him so much pain. but like she had said delaying things would only make them worse. maybe he was right and they were good for each other but as he said it he knew that something needed to change before they would be. "that is never how it is meant to be. an uneven relationship is a recipe for disaster" she said. this time as he put his hands around her and put his face on her shoulder she didn't pull away. she could feel the dampness spreading from where his eyes were and she bit her lip she was not going to cry. she couldn't. instead, she stood there holding onto him just as tight as he held onto her as she stroked his back and his head as if trying to soothe the shakes of silent sobs though his body. if this was going to be the last hug they had better make it a good one. as he asked for one last favour she moved her head slightly to look at him. one favour was a small ask after what she had just done to him. "of course you can ask. but I might not be able to do it" she said. not wanting to commit herself to something that would defeat the whole purpose of the chat.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle was already defeated. He did not even understand why he was still there. Maybe because he knew that when he left that place, he would not be able to see Willow up close. He would not be able to be with her in that way. He nodded at what she said, not bothering to answer her. He tightened his hold onto her, his heart even aching more at her touch. It seemed just yesterday when she touched him this way but in a loving way. This time, it was all out of pity. When she agreed to his request, he felt revived but just as quickly as it was, he deflated when she said she might not do it. He stepped back and shook his head. "Then I won't ask. I know you won't." He wanted a final kiss. For her to kiss him. "Did you really love me? Do you still love me? If all these never happened, would there still be us?", he asked in a broken voice, his eyes holding hers. He wanted her to meet his gaze while she answered him.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

WIllow felt noelles grip on her tighten. and she rested her head against his, making the most of this last moment she was going to be with him. despite what she said she had missed him and it was hurting her to do this.
Noelle pulled away and she let him go feeling emptiness in her arms where he had just been. As he started to speak she listened, he seemed to say something then change his mind and say something else. this request was what she was dreading. she knew that the honest answer was. she knew what the answer she should give would be. but they weren't the same. she didn't want to say either of them. she looked him in the eye and bit her lip knowing that the answer she was about to give was not the one he wanted to hear. "I, I can't answer that" she said. not sure how he would interpret it. "seeing as I didn't answer that. what were you going to ask for before you changed your mind?" she asked in the hopes that she would at least be able to do something for him.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

The light in Noelle's eyes dimmed. He had noticed Willow bit her lip and he thought she would give him an honest answer. Then for the nth time, his heart broke. She could not answer the question that was supposedly not a question from the start. He nodded feebly, energy drained from him. He was about to turn his back when she asked him about his request. "Can you do it though?", he asked. He looked past behind her, not wanting to gaze into her eyes anymore. He wanted to just numb the pain. "A kiss, Willow. I just want you to kiss me.", he shook his head. "But I know you won't do it. So I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye, my love." He slowly started to walk away, torn between leaving her behind and staying. His feet seemed unwilling to move to for he was moving at a slow pace.​

 

[Willow Cullen]

Willow watched noelles entire posture sink again she assumed h must have taken what she had said the bad way. the way she couldnt not force herself to say. she hated doing this to him. as he walked away she held onto the plaque behind her to stop herself from following him. let him go, let him go she told herself as she watched him go, pause and turn to look in her direction. his final request was a simple one. a kiss. he didnt even give her time to move before he started to walk again. she shouldn't go to him. she shouldn't kiss him. but merlin she wanted it too. she closed the distance between them in three strides held him in her arms and kissed him. it wasn't a passionate kiss like she was used to giving him but it was tender and she hoped it still carried some meaning.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle's mind was already a mess when he was yanked back and taken into Willow's arms. Shock consumed him when he realized what happened. Her lips on his was the only thing that registered in his mind. His arms snapped into action. One hand cupped her cheek as the Puff deepened the kiss while the other wrapped around her waist. He moved his lips over hers, taking control. If this would be their last kiss, then he would have to make it count. A small flower of hope bloomed in his heart. That Willow still cared, if not loved, him. He loved her, she knew that. He pulled slightly apart to rest his forehead against hers. "I...I...One more.', he said in a pleading tone before he kissed her again.

 

[Willow Cullen]

Willow felt Noelle deepen the kiss. she smiled as she felt his beard tickle her. it felt funny. it took all of her self control not to get carried away with it. she had worked so hard to convince him that she didn't want him she was not going to let on kiss spoil her resolve. as they broke away "your beard tickles" she said and was about to let go when he kissed her again. she kissed back before moving breaking the kiss and letting go of him. "Goodbye Noe." she said before turning and starting to walk off in the opposite direction he had been heading it would mean she had to do a lap of the lake but that would give her time to clear her head. or at least start to clear it.

 

[Noelle Maxwell]

Noelle felt Willow smile against his lips. He did not want to hope but he did. He chuckled, livelier this time when she finally said something about his beard. Just when he thought he was finally at peace, she pulled back and this time let go of him. Her voice saying goodbye echoed through and he watched her turned her back, not looking back. He could not bring himself to say goodbye. One last tear fell from his eyes, he closed them, trying to block the image from his mind. He wiped them before he turned his back from the most heart - wrenching scene and slowly, painfully made his way to the castle.

---

​