Closed Something To Rely On

[Vivian Brackenstall]

((Cont. from here))

The pain in Vivian's arm had mostly subsided by the time they reached the Hospital Wing, replaced by an uncomfortable tightness he supposed must be the new scar tissue sealing the wound from where he had gotten splinched. Vivian was still shaking, his racing heart only slowly subsiding as he settled into the hospital bed the nurse directed him to, and she went about whatever else needed to be done to his arm. Vivian was trying not to think about it, still too scared to look and see how bad it was. It felt immature, to be so scared of the sight of blood, even when he knew the wound had been taken care of, but he knew he wasn't really prepared to see yet.

The thing helping to ground Vivian, to drag him back to the moment, to calm his nervous breathing and slow his racing heart, was the hand he held tight in his own. He had taken Tristan's hand the moment he had sat down in the bed and refused to let go, clinging to him desperately for comfort. Neither of them had been thinking of their secret in the moment, Vivian knew, and even as it slowly came back to him, Vivian couldn't bring himself to care enough to let go. The hospital wing was plenty private enough for him to lace his fingers with Tristan's, the nurse who had seen to him was hardly going to be spreading gossip about them through the school. And it felt nice to just hold Tristan's hand and not care, to have seen that when Vivian really needed him, Tristan would drop the facade without even thinking about it to leap to his aid. It soothed some of the doubts that had been coming to his mind recently, and reassured him that all else aside, they could count on one another. As his heartrate slowed and the adrenaline finally began to drain from his system Vivian sighed heavily, squeezing Tristan's hand gently as he closed his eyes for a moment, leaning back against the pillow.

 

[Josephine Arora]

Josephine had helped several students with little scrapes or incidents since she started working at Hogwarts as a nurse, but this was her first serious injury. She had helped support the boy on his way to the hospital wing, along with a friend of his who came along. She had helped the boy into a bed and seen to his arm. She was sad to say there would be some sort of scar there, but it wasn't going to be as bad as it could have been either. Josephine was mostly silent as she worked on it, glad the other boy was keeping her patient calm. She noticed them holding hands, but didn't think much of it. She had better things to worry about than the relationships between random students she didn't know the names of. After applying several potions and salves to the wound, Josephine had to admit she had done everything she could. The dittany had done the most to make sure the wound healed quickly, and the other things she applied had mostly been to ensure the boy wouldn't feel pain and to lessen the extent of the scar. She cleared her throat to get their attention. "You'll have some permanent scarring on your arm." She said sympathetically. "But aside from that, you should be alright now. I understand that it was a shock, so don't be afraid to take some time to rest here." She glanced at the other boy. "Your friend can stay for half an hour, then I'll want you to get some rest on your own." The boy didn't seem like the rambunctious type and was unlikely to make anything worse, but she thought some quiet and peace and maybe a little nap would help the boy after he calmed down a bit from the whole ordeal. "I'll be in my office if you need anything."

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan had never felt like this before. He had never been scared for anyone's life before, and he still felt a little like he was trapped in a nightmare. Tristan knew that the sight of Vivian on the floor with blood rapidly darkening his sleeve was going to stay with him for a long time, and he knew that he would never forget the fear that came with the sight. He had barely registered what the nurse had been doing, both in the great hall and here in the hospital wing. All his attention had been on Vivian, and he was only vaguely aware of the fact that he had shown his worries for the other boy in front of everyone. It didn't matter. People knew they were friends, and even if his reaction had been a bit over the top for 'mere friends', it didn't matter. He hadn't been able to help himself, and could really hardly focus on those worries. Who cared what anyone thought when Vivian was hurt? When he was in the hospital wing? Tristan looked at his face, then at their entwined hands. He was keeping quiet for now, as he was at a loss for words. It wasn't until the nurse left them that he found his voice, even if it felt croaky and emotional in a way he had never known it to be before. "A... Are you in pain?" He asked the boy, his voice quiet and full of fear. He knew that he should let go of his hand. The nurse was unlikely to talk to anyone, but it still was unwise. Students went in and out of the hospital wing all the time, and anyone could see. But even as his brain was telling him to let go of Vivian's hand, his hand wouldn't cooperate. It stayed firmly in place, and Tristan couldn't say he minded that deep down. He even squeezed Vivian's hand slightly, letting the boy he loved know he was here for him.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

It was a relief when the nurse stepped back, but looking over at her to listen as she spoke was difficult. Partially because Vivian didn't want to leave the bubble of safety he had built with Tristan, and partially because he definitely wasn't ready to look at his arm yet, and any movement that turned his head in that direction was a step closer. He listened though, nodding as the nurse spoke. He was going to have a scar - that was something Vivian had expected, but thinking about the reality of it was strange. His mood soured a little as the nurse said Tristan could only stay another half hour, but some rest sounded good to him for the moment. He took note of where her office was, nodding, and then turned back to face Tristan, relieved that it was just them now. The emotion in Tristan's face hit Vivian full force - he didn't think he had ever seen the other boy so raw before. The sounds of Tristan's voice struck Vivian too, the clear devastation and worry, and Vivian squeezed Tristan's hand tighter, shaking his head. "It... feels fine now. Just... kind of stretched. The scar tissue." He said slowly, glancing down at their hands before meeting Tristans' eyes again. When Tristan squeezed his hand Vivian squeezed back, grateful to have him here. With all of the artifice and hiding stripped away, it was easy to see how deeply, how sincerely Tristan loved him, almost to a degree that even Vivian hadn't really realised. He tried to convey that he felt the same with a warm smile, though it slipped away as shifting brought Vivian back to the moment they were in. "How... how bad is it? I haven't looked yet..." He asked hesitantly, wanting to get Tristan's opinion before looking at the scar himself.

 

[Tristan Collins]

Being alone with Vivian in a different place than their dormitory was strange. Tristan couldn't quite get the thought out of his head that anyone could walk in and see them, but it wasn't strong enough to actually make him let go of Vivian's hand just yet. Maybe in a bit, when he looked less pale. He was relieved to hear the other boy say that he wasn't in pain, but the description he gave wasn't exactly pleasant either. "The nurse did say you would have a scar." He said softly, unsure if the reminder was needed. Tristan glanced at their hands too, fighting to remind himself why he couldn't do this all the time. He was relieved to see Vivian smile, but it slipped pretty quickly which made Tristan feel sad. He had made a point of not looking at Vivian's arm too closely, but when the boy asked, he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer. He just hoped he would be able to mask his reaction if it really was bad, as he didn't want Vivian to feel bad. He hesitated. "I'll look." He said softly, then moved over to get a good look at Vivian's arm. The scar was strange to see, because he knew it wasn't supposed to be there. But at the same time it looked as if it had been there for months, which made Tristan marvel once again about magic and what it could do. A wound like this would still have been bleeding in the muggle world, and the resulting scar would have been a lot worse. "It's not that bad." He said after a moment. "It'll take some getting used to, but it's not horrible at all." He hesitated and glanced at Vivian, then tried to smile and joke to make him feel a little better. "It's making you look tough, with a rugged scar like this no one will mess with you."

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

If he was honest, Vivian would have to admit that he didn't remember everything the nurse had said, especially early on. He had been blinded by shock and pain at the time, but even if she hadn't repeated it, Vivian definitely would have remembered her saying he was going to have a scar. Vivian had never been squeamish about injuries before, but he had never been injured so badly before either, and he didn't know how he was going to feel about seeing it. He was glad he hadn't looked when the wound was at its worst, but the thought of seeing the scar still made him nervous. It was a relief when Tristan agreed to check first, Vivian watching his expression nervously. He could read Tristan well enough by now to know he was being honest when he said it wasn't too bad, and Vivian actually laughed at Tristan's last remark, caught unawares. "Yep, that's me. Big tough guy." He joked, then took a deep breath, steeling himself before finally looking at his arm. Once Vivian had actually turned to look, he felt silly for being so nervous. The scar was clearly prominent, and was definitely going to take him some time to get used to, but he felt none of the horror he had braced himself for. Sighing in relief, Vivian stared for a long moment before looking away, flopping back onto the pillow and looking up at Tristan. "That's not too bad. I'll get used to it, I guess."

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan moved back to Vivian's other side, as he didn't trust himself not to stare at the new scar and make him uncomfortable. He was glad he made Vivian laugh, and smiled at him in turn. "I think you were pretty tough there... I would have cried a lot more, I think." He said, saying just about anything to make Vivian laugh again. Self-deprecating jokes usually weren't really his style, but he just wanted Vivian to feel at ease. He was nervous when Vivian looked at the scar, but was glad he didn't seem too upset about it. Tristan nodded in agreement. "It really isn't that bad..." He said softly, then gently touched Vivian's cheek for a brief moment. "I'm glad it wasn't your face." He said, aiming for a joke but failing a little. His words came out more seriously than he intended, and his fingers lingered on his cheek for a moment before he withdrew his hand.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian laughed softly when Tristan said he had been tough, shaking his head. "I don't know how it'd be possible to cry more." He mumbled, blushing. "And in front of the whole class... oof. That's embarrassing." He shook his head, trying not to think about how many people had seen him get hurt. He usually did his best to blend into the background wherever he went, hopefully that cultivated invisibility would help their classmates forget about this quickly. He laughed softly at Tristan's second comment, nodding. "Me too." He mumbled, though his smile slipped a little as he thought about it. "Or... most other places, honestly. This could have been... a lot worse." Tristan's hand on his face soothed his nerves a little, and when he went to move it Vivian moved his injured arm without thinking, pressing Tristan's hand back to his face. "I always... sort of knew it was possible to die if you apparated wrong, but I never really thought about it. It feels more real now."

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan shrugged and gently brushed some of Vivian's hair off his shoulder. "Trust me, I would have managed." He said, mostly making it up in an attempt to make Vivian feel better. He had no idea how he would actually react in a situation like that, and wasn't keen to find out. "And I'm sure everyone in the great hall understood. It's not strange you cry when... when you get hurt like that." He shrugged. "It shouldn't be embarrassing." He decided not to mention that he was lightly embarrassed himself, by his show of emotion when Vivian had fallen. He knew that saying that to the other boy wouldn't go well. Tristan shivered when the boy said it could have been a lot worse. "I know, but it's not. So let's not linger on it." He said. Vivian pressed Tristan's hand against his face, and Tristan couldn't help a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was here. He then turned his attention to Vivian and sighed softly. It seemed like he wanted to linger. "But you didn't die." He said softly. "So it's fine... it will be okay."

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian chuckled softly at Tristan's comment, shaking his head. He had no doubt that Tristan would have been tougher than him in the same situation. Although he knew an emotionally vulnerable side of Tristan nobody else had seen, Vivian didn't think even he could picture Tristan completely losing composure with an audience. Or at all, if Vivian was honest with himself. He wasn't sure if Tristan ever got less composed than 'sightly ruffled'. He sighed slowly, nodding at Tristan's comment about it not being embarrassing. "I know, but... I mean, I've never even talked to most of those people, and now they've all seen me cry. That's... a bit embarrassing." He shrugged, looking away for a moment. Tristan's hand against his face was a small comfort at least, and Vivian relaxed slightly, nodding as he tried to wipe those thoughts from his mind. "I know." He said gently. "It's just... scary to think about." Vivian sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, yawning softly. Now that the adrenaline had drained from his system he felt... empty and weak, and was starting to think the rest the nurse had suggested seemed like a good idea.

 

[Tristan Collins]

Tristan sighed, wishing he could dismiss Vivian's concerns easily. He himself would be embarrassed too, but he didn't want to say that and make Vivian fret about it more. Instead he thought of something else to say, that was also fairly true. "They'll move on to the next thing." He said with a shrug. "In no time." He gently stroked Vivian's cheek for a moment. Then he sighed as Vivian said it was scary to think about apparition and dying. "Then don't." He said gently, as if it was that simple. "Just don't think about it. You'll be okay." He watched as Vivian closed his eyes and yawned, a strange feeling coming over him at seeing Vivian so vulnerable. He heard the office door of the nurse open behind him, and knew his time was up. It seemed for the best, Vivian looked like he really did need the rest. Tristan gently pulled his hand back from Vivian's face. "I have to go now... but you get some rest." He said softly. "I'll see you soon, okay? And by then everyone will have moved on to the next thing to talk about. Promise." He let his hand trail over Vivian's hair for one moment before taking a step back. "Sleep well." He said softly.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian sighed and nodded, letting Tristan's words reassure him. There was no sense disagreeing, and Tristan was hopefully right that people would forget quickly. It was easy to let his worries slip away with his eyes closed, the soft pillow under his head calling his name. Vivian's eyes opened briefly when Tristan's hand moved, mourning the loss of the warmth and comfort, but he knew Tristan would have to go eventually. Sighing softly, Vivian nodded, meeting his eyes for a moment as Tristan touched his hair. "See you soon." He said softly, wishing Tristan could stay, could hold him. Even a kiss goodbye would be nice. But he let the worries go, letting sleep take him as his eyes slipped closed again.