Snakes + a Lion

Jerrod felt bad that this whole situation had made Riley cry. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he put his hand out and wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. Her eyes were so beautiful and he didn't like seeing them red and puffy like this. It made him feel like he'd disappointed Riley. He didn't deserve to be friends with a girl as amazing as her and he didn't know why she liked him. It made no sense to him.

Jerrod shook his head at her question and looked down, thinking over what he was going to say before looking back up at her. "I've never said sorry to anyone in my life. I wouldn't know how to. I'd go up to her with the intention of saying it and then something would happen and I'd end up saying and doing stuff that would just hurt her more. It's best if I just stay away." He hoped what he had just said didn't sound selfish or careless. He didn't want to hurt Riley any more than she already had been but at the same time he didn't want to tell her any more lies. Lies seemed to only hurt people more. "I expect it is but I can't. How would I even start??"
 
Riley closed her eyes as Jerrod wiped a tear from her cheek. His hand left tingles as he moved it on her face. She felt incredibly stupid for crying, and after taking a deep, shuddering breath in, she decided to stop. Crying never did anything to help, and it was pointless that she was doing so. She quickly wiped the remaining tears left on her face, and looked slowly up to Jerrod. Riley watched Jerrod as he spoke, trying to concentrate on what he was saying. She shook her head when he said that going to the girl to apologize would make it worse. "I believe you have the best intentions Jerrod! And it's easy to say sorry, you said it to me just before! Just say it to her, like you said it to me, except for the "I love you" part, that part I want to keep for me." Riley blurted out saying before scrunching her face up cursing herself for saying the last line. Quickly trying to recover, Riley said "I'll come with you and do it. For support and stuff."
 
Jerrod shook his head at her. He didn't know whether Riley would ever understand what he was about to say. He just hoped she would stay with him. He'd hoped to leave this side of him behind and get on with school until he graduated. "I can say it to you because I care about you and don't want to lose you. I can't say it to her because I don't care about her. She's just another person in my eyes. You're not. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and I don't know how you've stuck by me for so long because I certainly wouldn't be able to." Then Jerrod realised what she had just said. "Wait...you love me??" Jerrod had only ever thought she considered him a friend. He'd never thought she would love him. Then again, did she mean she love loved him or just loved him as a friend?? This was a question Jerrod could never understand until he met Riley. "I don't want you seeing that side of me. It's not a great side and I don't want it. I want to be like I am normally when I'm with you. You bring out the best in me."
 
Riley shook her head, not understanding how Jerrod's mind was working. It would be a long road for her to try to understand what happened in the last few moments, but she was beginning to realize that the world is not one chunk of happiness. Her mind briefly floated to Jerrod's father being a Death Eater, and how she wanted to be an Auror, and get rid of the Death Eaters. She was starting to realize the type of evil Jerrod was brought up with, and so many other people around the world.
Riley looked up at Jerrod as he asked if she loved him. At that moment, she didn't care about his upbringing. She didn't care about his past. Riley just knew that she did love him. A small smile grew on her face, as she moved closer to Jerrod. She gently took his face into her hands, before moving her lips towards his. She delicately placed a kiss on his lips, hoping she was doing it right. Riley moved backwards after a moment, before releasing his face and entwining her fingers with his. "I hope that answers your question?" She asked quietly. Riley listened to what he said and shook her head again. "Jerrod, if I love you then I need to know every side of you. I - I love that I bring out the best in you." She finished somewhat lamely.
 
Jerrod was surprised by the kiss. It definitely answered the question for him. In fact, it answered many questions for him. That wasn't what he was thinking though. He was more in shock than anything. The girl he loved and cared for more than anyone else just kissed him. He couldn't believe it had just happened. Instead of answering her question, Jerrod put his hand on her chin and kissed her back. He was very tempted to pinch himself just to check he wasn't dreaming. He couldn't see why anyone would love him in real life so it had to be a dream. He stopped kissing her then moved his hand from her chin to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb along her cheek bone. Jerrod looked down at his feet for a second before looking back into her eyes. "I don't like that side of me. I don't want to see it again until I need it. Until then, I just want to leave it behind and pretend it never existed." He sighed lightly before carrying on. "Please don't make me do this. It's easy to let it out but not as easy to get it back inside again and it's taken me ages to keep it locked away inside." Jerrod saw his other side as an animal that he had trapped inside his body and it only came out when he let it out or when he couldn't trap it any longer. Of course, it's hard to get an animal locked away. Especially one as vicious as this one.
 
Riley was pleasantly surprised when Jerrod started to kiss her back. She had been waiting for a moment like this for such a long time; she knew she wanted this from the first time they met, over a year ago now. It had grown into more of a want as the time went on, and she had never before wanted to kiss him this bad as she had now. A sense of satisfaction flowed through her body, and she started to feel completely content about the afternoon. With bad, comes good, and Riley's mood started to pick up again. Sure what had happened before was terrible, but the outcome of it was perfect in Riley's eyes.
Riley wasn't too sure what to do next, or where the relationship was going, but she listened intently as Jerrod spoke his next words. She nodded her head, knowing how much it sucked having to do something that didn't want to be done. Especially something forced by a loved one. Riley squeezed Jerrod's hand and quietly said, "I'm not forcing you to do anything Jerrod. I just mean that I want to know everything there is to know about you. But I agree, the past is the past, and we can leave it there if you want." She finished, smiling at him.
 
Jerrod nodded. "I just want to leave it behind me and move on. Perhaps then I can just forget about it completely." He had been hoping that in a few years time he'd be asked about it and wonder what the hell the other person was talking about but now he realised that was never going to happen. It was just one of those things that stuck in his mind and embedded itself with no way to get rid of it. Sometimes it was covered by other stuff but it was always there. "I never see her. She's the year above us and she's a hufflepuff so I'm never in the same class as her and I never see her in the common room. I think she's learnt to avoid the places I hang around because I never see her by the lake any more." This was a relief for Jerrod but in a way he was kind of curious to find out where she'd gone. Or even if she was still in the school. Jerrod held onto Riley's hand and stroked it with his thumb. He just loved the feel of Riley's skin under his own.
 
Riley nodded. "You know what? We can do that. We can just forget about it. I'm sorry all of this has come up! I understand how hard this is for you." She commented, rubbing her free hand up his arm. Riley listened intently to his words and smiled. "Well, its good that you don't see her much anymore anyway then. It's easier to forget if it's not constantly following you around." She said smiling, squeezing his hand again. "What do you think's going to happen when you see your sister again?" Riley asked, concerned.
OOCOut of Character:
Sorry so lame :(
 
Jerrod was relieved that Riley was letting him drop it but at the same time he felt like she kind of wanted him to do it still. He ignored this thought and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. Jerrod nodded at what she said and replied, "Yeah. I do better just forgetting things. Journeys to the past always turn out bad." Jerrod always found that looking back was what held him back. If he kept looking forward then that was the direction he moved. It just made it easier. Jerrod let go of Riley and looked at her. "I don't know. I'm gonna have to try and talk to her properly. Depends on whether she's going to listen to me or not." He hoped she did. It would make things a lot easier. Otherwise she'd just spend the rest of their lives hating him for no reason.
 
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