Sitting All Alone Inside Your Head

[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie had mixed feelings about tonight, but they were mostly bad. After nearly asking Isaac to the ball and sort of being rejected without even asking him, she couldn't help feeling a little bitter about the whole event. But it was impossible not to admire the work the teachers put into the decorations, even if she wouldn't show even a hint of admiration on her face. But if she wanted to keep writing for Hogwarts Monthly, she had to attend events and know what was happening at the school. It was one of her favorite things to do, so she had to do her best for it even if it meant attending a stupid dance full of stupid couples. She spotted her older sister and her best friend walking together and she rolled her eyes, averting her gaze from them. She didn't want to see Amber right now, though it was at least good that she wasn't with a boy being all lovey-dovey. Sophie didn't think she could handle the sight of that without puking.

She leaned against one of the round tables with a notebook in her hand. You never knew when you would see something interesting to note down. It would also make people assume she was here strictly on business for the paper, which was what she wanted. She wasn't the type of girl to go to events like this in general, though it had been fun to be with her friends last year. Elly hadn't really talked to her since the Animagus incident and Geo would probably be busy with one of her thousands of other friends. Sophie sighed and popped a sweet into her mouth, this was going to be a long night.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac had barely said a word to anyone since the incident in the lounge with one of the only people he even spoke to a few weeks ago. With no one else to ask for advice, Sophie usually being the person he would be brought something up with, Isaac had spent most of the time leading up the exams pretending to be more busy than he really was and ignoring any and everyone else around him. The Ravenclaw had been adament that he didn't want to attend the ball, right up until the day before. He still thought it was a stupid event, and had no interest to spend time watching couples make out in front of him and lose all sense of personal space, but knowing that his friend was going to be there had made him reconsider. The third year had barely even made any eye contact with her during their classes, but if there was any chance of them speaking again he knew he'd have to make more of an effort which was certainly something he wasn't used to doing.

He felt sick as he dressed for the part, trying to convince himself he was only doing it to blend in and act like he belonged in the ball, all while feeling out of place and uncomfortable in something so formal. He'd kept his head down as he walked into the hall, grateful for the darkness in the room. He really didn't care for all the deco, it was cheap tacky and a waste of magical powers, but he looked around with hidden enthusiasm as he tried to find his friend, nervous at what she would say at his unexpected presence. He knew her well enough to know that she would have some snarky comment up her sleeve, but with a deep breath he wanted to push past that if he could. It had been a dumb argument and neither of them had come out of it any better. "Wilson?" he said, quieter than he'd intended to, and he slowly approached her before resting against the table in a similar manner to her, not yet risking a glance in her direction but instead looking across the dance hall at those who had had the courage to ask another to the ball. "Getting anything good yet?" he asked casually, knowing full well he was going to have to do better than that, but unable to think of how to break the ice between them.
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[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie was busy trying to see if anything interesting was happening anywhere without actually leaving the safety of the table, and didn't notice Isaac approach. When his voice sounded out of nowhere, she jumped a little and glanced his way with some alarm, before forcing her face back into her usual expression. Her heart had started to sped up despite herself at the sight of him, and the thought that maybe he was here for her. His second question nearly made her smile, and she followed his gaze into the dance hall where the couples were having fun. "So far the only breaking scoop is you showing up." She said after a pause. "I didn't think you were going to." It wasn't as scathing a comment as she normally would have made. And honestly, she wanted to say something a lot meaner to show him how much he had hurt her. But a part of her knew that wouldn't make anything better, and she thought coming here was more difficult for him than perhaps he wanted to admit. And even if he wasn't here for her specifically, she was glad to get to spend time with him.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac could feel her eyes on him for a moment, but refused to turn his head and look at her in case it stirred up some emotions he didn't know what to do with. The last thing he needed was a similar outcome to their last session. He liked her. More than he thought he should. More than he thought he was meant to when he was her friend. He'd tried to think that it was probably only because she was the only person that had shown any sign of caring about his own interests but he'd spent so long able to please himself that he wasn't sure exactly how true that was. "There must be something else more interesting than that Wilson," he replied, although secretly glad that she considered his arrival to be "newsworthy", even if only in her eyes. He nodded in the direction of another couple on the dance floor. "Isn't that your sister?" he asked. He'd never spoken to Amber, and only seen her when Sophie had pointed her out to him from across the courtyard. "I wasn't going to come. I just, didn't want." He wasn't really sure what he was saying, and felt embarrassed every time he paused to try and explain. "I wanted to join. This is a stupid event. But I don't really like that we're not friends anymore," it was the best he could do given the situation, and while he could feel his cheeks warming up a little he still tried to keep his calm demeanour going, he felt like he was stepping his foot in it. "I mean I want to be friends with you again. I miss hanging out with you." His eyes were staring off into the distance, locked onto something on the other side of the room, and while he didn't know what he was looking at it was much better than looking at her.
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[Sophie Wilson]

To her irritation, Sophie's heartbeat didn't slow down. She could no longer pass it off as just being startled by Isaac's sudden appearance. It was just the effect he had on her, and it scared her more than she wanted to admit. Even though her own feelings were hard to face, she did feel drawn to him. She didn't want to be apart from him and was more happy he had joined her than she wanted to admit even to herself. She nodded when he asked about her sister, noticing that Amber was dancing with her friend. There was something strange about it, but she didn't linger on it. Isaac's presence was distracting, and what he was saying even more so. Her cheeks heated up and she glanced at him, startled by how honest he was being. She knew he was similar to her, so this couldn't be easy. Her throat felt dry and she cleared her throat. "I miss hanging out with you too." She admitted quietly. "I... I feel the same. I want to be your friend too. I wanted to say sorry, I just didn't know how." She could tell it was too hard for him to look at her, but for some reason she had trouble looking away. The sight of him in his suit was nice, especially now that she knew he was here for her after all. If he had been brave, maybe she should be too. "I shouldn't have been so angry. It's just that..." She couldn't do this. Her gaze dropped to the floor, too embarrassed now to look at him. "It's just that I wanted to ask you to come with me. And I got embarrassed when you said you didn't want to." She admitted, feeling silly even saying it out loud. Maybe she should take it back? But it was too late for that.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Even though the third year's eyes were focused on something in the distance, he wasn't able to concentrate on anything besides what Sophie was saying beside him. Although it was difficult, it did give him a little comfort to know that she was in a similar boat to him. She'd not bitten his head off at all, which was always a plus. Perhaps he should have approached her sooner, told her how he had been feeling. After all she had been the first person to know how he really felt about his placement at Hogwarts and ideologies on his future. Isaac was a shocked though to hear that she'd been planning to ask him to attend the ball with her, although he didn't think it was because she wanted to actually dance with him. Maybe she'd just wanted some company like they'd been at Halloween. Then again she'd gotten very defensive when he'd mentioned in the student lounge that he wasn't attending at all, barely given her time to explain her thoughts. He was probably over thinking it but he couldn't tell his heart that, as he could practically hear it in his chest. They were more similar than either of them realised, and had both pushed the other away in their defence. He wanted to ask if she really did feel the same way about him and he did her, but the words as always were escaping him. Isaac broke the contact from whatever it was that he'd tried to look at across the room, finally turning his head towards his friend, although it wasn't to tell her how beautiful she looked. She was the prettiest in the room but there was no way he would be able to tell her that. Instead he lent across and placed the lightest of kisses on her cheek, feeling the warmth on his lips for a second, before pulling back almost as fast as he'd turned towards her. Perhaps she would just take it as a sign that he thought they could repair the friendship they had, but Isaac knew deep down it was a little more complicated than that, and just wished he knew how to tell her.
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[Sophie Wilson]

Being here with Isaac made it hard to remember why she had been so mad at him. Sophie was glad she hadn't snapped at him tonight, as it might have made him leave again. Even if they were just standing next to each other and mostly not even looking at each other, Sophie knew she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Isaac was so similar to her that it was sometimes hard to bear. They were both very stubborn and defensive, but at the same time, it meant they understood each other. She knew why Isaac had reacted the way he had and she knew why he was here now, and how hard it was for him to say any of the things he had said. She knew because it had been just as hard for her to say anything in return. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Isaac now looked at her. She felt her cheeks heat up slightly, and her heart did a somersault when he leaned closer and kissed her cheek. Her hand tightened on the notebook she was holding and she closed her eyes briefly. The moment had only been short, but it had been enough to make her feel nervous, scared and excited all at once. A shy, smile appeared her face as she looked at him. Unable to resist the urge, she briefly touched her cheek. "Thanks." She said quietly, though she wasn't sure if that was the appropriate thing to say. "I'm glad you're here too," she added. Did this mean he liked her? She was starting to think that's how she felt about him, and knowing the feeling might be mutual was somewhat worrying. It should make her happy, and it did, but what would they do now? "You're... looking really nice tonight. If you like that sort of thing," she said, gesturing at his suit as the sort of thing she meant. Her smile grew slightly as she looked at him, though she hated that she could still feel the blush on her cheeks, she was happy in this moment. Maybe this would be something wonderful, if she stopped pushing good things away for once.

 

[Isaac Kain]

It had been a spur of the moment decision, but he knew he'd made the right choice when she thanked him. He wouldn't have known what to say either, and it made him smile a little when he heard her voice. His gaze shifted to the floor as she complimented him, not really believing that he looked nice although he had made a bit of an effort. The suit was a little large on the third year but it was the nicest thing he owned. He still wasn't really sure as to whether Sophie liked him more than a friend, but at least they seemed to have bridged the gap they'd previously come close to burning down. Turning his head to finally meet the eyes of his fellow Ravenclaw, he wasn't entirely sure where he was getting his confidence from. He'd imagined this evening a few times in his head and they'd all ended with him leaving by himself, but he was content to be here with Sophie right now, and the urge to leave wasn't appearing in his mind. She may have had work to get on with that night, and although Isaac didn't know how long they'd actually have together to hang out, he knew if he wanted to say something to clear the air it would have to be sooner rather than later. "So do you." he replied, glancing up and down at her dress. Isaac knew the thought process that would have gone into her choosing her outfit, but he genuinely thought it suited her and that she looked very good. Being authentic wasn't exactly something that came easily to the third year, and it took a lot of effort for him for him not to run from any situation that might be more than a little difficult for him, but breaking his usual habits he found himself sliding a little closer to Sophie, glad that she hadn't pushed him away when he'd first approached. His eyes were still locked on her face, admiring every small shape and tone of her skin, feeling as though he was really seeing her for the first time. "I'm sorry about, before." Isaac said quietly, trying to relax his clenching jaw as he struggled to get the words out, honesty had never been easy. "I think I was scared to talk about being here," he admitted, praying to whatever was good in the world that he wasn't about to regret being open, "I wanted to come. With you." his eyes were darting all over the place as he tried to find the right way to explain what had been going through his head for the last few weeks. Perhaps she wouldn't want to be his friend in a moment but he didn't want to snap at her again if they were to hang out in the future, so it was better she knew everything. He didn't even realise he'd begun to fiddle with the end of his sleeves as he continued on. Maybe it would have been easier if he imaged himself as another character in a show, and he straightened up a little, recalling the scenes he'd read and hoping that if he was about to rejected he wouldn't take it too personally. "I like you. A lot. I don't know what I'm doing and I got scared that if you knew either of those things then, you'd stop hanging out with me." He finished with a small smirk, like that had gone to plan.
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[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie wasn't sure what to do now. A boy had never kissed her cheek before, and even if one had she didn't think it would've made her feel this way before. This was new territory, and she really wasn't sure what to do. Saying anything that wasn't couched in a joke or sarcastic comment was hard for the girl, but now she wished her compliment to him had been more sincere. He was sincere to her, and she admired him for it. Her heartbeat sped up even more as he moved closer to her, wondering if he would kiss her cheek again or do something else like hold her hand. A part of her wanted him to, but she was also a little embarrassed by the mere thought. Her expression softened as he apologized to her and told her he had been scared. She decided to reach for his hand the moment he said he had wanted to come with her. Her hand stalled when he went on, telling her he liked her. It was all scary, alarming, but also wonderful. Sophie wanted nothing more than to run away though, hide from something so open and real and vulnerable. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak. "I wouldn't want to stop hanging out with you." She said quietly. His confidence didn't seem entirely real, but it was still more than what she was showing. Sophie was sure her own expression betrayed her nerves, even if she tried to hide them behind her usual mask. "I don't know what I'm doing either. And... I like you too. That's why I wanted to ask you." Her voice was very quiet as she admitted it, though she was sure Isaac could still hear her. "I wanted to go with you, stupid as that sounds. Like. Together." Sophie shrugged, crossing her arms in front of her. "So... did you want that too?"

 

[Isaac Kain]

It was hard for Isaac to gauge from Sophie's body language exactly what she was thinking, and had to trust what the words she was speaking rather than her tone and what her arms were doing. It seemed slightly contradictory. He nodded when she mentioned she didn't want to stop hanging out with him, at least if they came away with nothing else he may have solved the gap of their friendship. Sophie continued on however and he listened, trying not to get too excited at her admissions. He'd been right in thinking that she was trying to ask him to the Yule Ball that day in the student lounge, and he wasn't sure how he was meant to feel about that. "That's the stupidest idea you've ever had Wilson." he replied almost seriously, but hoping she would take it as the joke he'd intended it as. Isaac glanced across to her as she folded her arms, but a small smile escaped the side of his mouth. "I do. Or at least I did," he paused, wondering how she was going to take his attempt at humour. "However I've since found out that you're here on business Wilson and I wouldn't want to disturb that." He knew that while she probably was on the lookout for stories, she would still get a chance to enjoy herself while she was here, but teasing her had become his latest favourite hobby.
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[Sophie Wilson]

Sophie's defensive stance didn't do much to make her feel more secure, but she wasn't ready to give it up. Saying these things was difficult for her, as she was much more comfortable in the land of sarcasm and jokes. These sincere words were nothing but a pain, and humiliating to boot. So when Isaac cracked a joke, she felt herself relax slightly. If he hadn't said the things he'd said before, she might have taken him at his word. But now she knew he was joking, being his usual self. She snorted. "Well, I couldn't let you be the only one with bad ideas all the time. I was starting to feel bad for you." She retorted, uncrossing her arms so she could nudge him. Her heart sank slightly when he said he had wanted to go together, implying that he no longer did, but she sighed as it turned out to be just another joke. He was probably as uncomfortable with the real discussion as she had been and trying to make himself feel more comfortable by teasing her. She snorted. "You and I both know nothing really interesting happens at these events. I could probably write an article about it without even attending, it's the same every year." She paused. "Maybe not entirely the same." She added with another glance at him. Not to make the moment too serious again, she mad a point of rolling her eyes and nudging him again. "Normally I only hear sarcastic commentary in my own head, not coming from slightly to the right of me."

 

[Isaac Kain]

Luckily for the Ravenclaws, sarcasm came so much easier between them than talking about anything too seriously, and Isaac was grateful that they seemed to be able to read between the lines of the others comments. Her snorting made him laugh a little, nudging her back when she tried to jab at him. He caught her eye when she mentioned that not all the balls at the school were the same, but looked away quickly when he felt the emotions in his stomach that he still didn't know what to do with, even if he was coming to accept they were there. "Your article in the Hogwarts Monthly certainly was a read though I hope I'm not terrifying you right now," he added, trying to slide in her reference from the school newspaper. Sometimes it wasn't the costumes that caused the most anxiety. He chuckled when she rolled her eyes at him, "Would you prefer it if I stopped?" he asked, once again trying to push the conversation to take a more serious tone but not sure he could handle it if it did, and he was doing his best already not to run back to their common room. "Who am I kidding, my sarcastic commentary can't be defeated," he added, dancing between the lines of what was new grounds of discussion. A moment of silence passed between them, despite the volume of the music and the students around them, and even though he felt as though he would soon pass out if he kept this up, he realised that before he could stop himself his left hand had found hers, the backs of their hands meeting as he pushed the limits of his comfort zone.
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