Closed Scar On Your Breastbone

[Connor Holland]

Connor knew this was probably more than a little bit insane, but in his defense he felt more than a little bit insane. He had embarrassed himself in front of the entire school and his family, then had to drag himself back into a home with Eric, who he had fistfought last time they saw one another. He had spent most of his time in his room, having finally given up on sending Kas angry owls after every one went unanswered for weeks. But the twisting frustration in his stomach wouldn't go away, and all Connor could do was turn the situation over and over in his mind. He didn't know what had happened, or why. He didn't know how Kas could do something so horrible that it would get him expelled, and land Emma in hospital. The situation had been turning over and over in his mind, until he felt like crawling out of his skin.

He had to do something.

So he had done something insane.

It had taken a bit of convincing to get Kas's parents to let him in - Connor had had to play the Head Boy card. As far as Kas's parents were concerned, he was a worried school friend who had thoughtfully brought Kas notes from the last few weeks of class, so that he could complete his education, even if he wouldn't have the diploma to prove it. And now here he was. Feeling more deranged than he ever had in his life. It was only as he stared at Kas's door that he realised he had no idea what he actually wanted to say. His letters had oscillated between furious, devastated, and pleading, and all three feelings warred in his lungs, threatening to burst out and spill past his lips. The one sensible thing Connor managed was throwing up a quick silencing charm, certain that whatever he wound up saying to Kas, he wasn't going to do it quietly. He gripped the doorknob almost tight enough to dent it, breath shaking between his lips as he opened the door. If he had hoped that seeing Kas would make it easier to figure out what to say, that hope was erased immediately. All Connor could do was stare, taking in the sight of him, heart threatening to thud its way clean through his ribs. "...What happened?" Connor said slowly, after a silence that felt like it lasted an age, all the anger and hurt gone from his voice. He sounded as weak as he felt, beaten down by his crumbling life.

 

[Kasim Safir]

Kas hadn't moved in hours. Possibly even in days. He'd come to find the smaller and stiller he was, the easier it was for everyone, himself included, to pretend he didn't exist. At this point, he was almost looking forward to this trial, despite the uneasy pit in his stomach at the thought; he could only take so many passive aggressive sighs and sullen silences at meal times before he'd stopped bothering going downstairs, content to live off snacks he'd smuggled away in his trunk over the years and whatever leftovers he could pilfer after everyone else was asleep. He felt like a ghost in his own house, somehow more than usual, and when Connor finally pushed his bedroom door open, Kas half expected him to see right through him.

"What's everyone saying happened?" He asked mildly, rolling his head enough on the bed to glance over briefly at Connor before returning to staring idly at the ceiling, no energy to sit up as Connor joined him. Objectively, Kas knew it was only a matter of time before Connor or Freya showed up, he hadn't exactly left them a note to explain what had happened and thought of trying to somehow write this all down when the owls had started was laughable. What was there to stay?

Now that Connor was actually here, a quiet voice in the back of his head almost wanted to hear that Connor believed all the outlandish rumours everyone was probably throwing around, if only to prove some vindictive part of himself in his head that always knew everyone, including Connor, thought of the worst of him. "Honestly, I'm surprised my family let you in here, but I guess it's not that surprising that parents love you," he added glumly, pausing to pick at a chipped patch of nail polish, watching the black flakes flutter off and land somewhere on his chest before wearily glancing back at Connor again.

 

[Connor Holland]

Any last traces of anger Connor might have carried dissipated as he took in the sight of Kas - the emptiness of his gaze, the usual cheek entirely drained from his voice. He seemed... faded, bleached of all his personality. He didn't know what he had expected Kas to be like now, but this was so much more horrifying than any other outcome he could think of. He moved closer slowly, scrunching the pile of notes in his hands as he searched for the words. "They didn't... tell us much." He said slowly, hearing the waver in his own voice. "Something about a dangerous beast let loose in the forest, the Ministry had to come kill it. We didn't get any details." Connor had been okay at Care of Magical Creatures before his grades tanked, and he could think of a few things so dangerous the Ministry would have to deal with them, but none easy for two seventh years to acquire. He snorted lightly when Kas mentioned his family, holding up the papers before dropping them on Kas's bed and sitting next to them. "Played the Head Boy card. I brought you my notes from the last few weeks, so you can... so you can at least finish your studies." He paused, giving a small snort of laughter. "Won't be much help though, I tanked all my NEWTs."

 

[Kasim Safir]

If he was being honest, Kas was expecting Connor to yell at him. Probably would have preferred if Connor yelled at him. At least if he yelled it meant Kas could yell back, give an outlet to the ball of quiet rage and misery that had taken up residence in his chest the past few weeks. This.. pity or sympathy whatever it was rankled him, and Kas shifted up, propping himself on his elbows as Connor joined him on the bed. "Guess they didn't want anyone getting any ideas," he said dryly, letting some of his hair fall in his eyes so he didn't have to think too hard about keeping eye contact. "It was a basilisk. If you were curious," he said, letting the word hang in the air. Despite apparently tanking his NEWTs, Connor was a smart enough guy, he could piece together exactly how badly that painted Kas without him needing to spell everything out.

The offer to share his notes with Kas made him pause, staring blankly at the crumpled parchment as Connor set it on the bed. Unbidden, Kas sputtered, a giggle forcing its way out at the absurdity of the offer. Sure, it had been a ruse, and a good one he had to admit, to get past his overbearing family, but the ridiculousness of the idea had hit some sort of release valve and Kas had to choke back another laugh, shaking his head before hanging it back with a huff and a sigh. "If you think you tanked, you should see mine," he said eventually, voice sounding more like himself than it had in weeks.