Say What You Mean Out Loud

[Cyan Zephyr]

Cyan had decided. She hadn't thought about anything in her entire life, more than she'd thought about the way she felt about Alessio. Cyan had made it through the day, and now sat, waiting anxiously at the hufflepuff table for Alessio to see the letter she'd had left on his bed. She'd been too afraid to get his attention on her own. Cy's hands shook as she sat waiting for him to arrive, and thought back to the night in Aion's car. His arms wrapped comfortably around her when he confessed he loved her and she pretended to be asleep. Cyan had thought a lot about those words, a lot about the way her chest stuttered, the way she'd nearly quit breathing and had to will her eyes to stay closed. The way she suddenly felt bathed in light adn in the dark at the same time. The seventh year puff sniffed back her emotions, she had already practiced everything in the mirror and swore she wouldn't cry during this ordeal. It wasn't fair to anyone involved, but she knew she needed to do what was right. She needed to be with Aion. Whether or not he would still feel the same when she went to be at his side and travel was a trial she'd face in the future.

Cyan looked around the room, and for a moment wondered if she should do Alessio the decency of waiting until after the ball. However when she thought of dancing with Less in that large sparkling room, she felt a pang of guilt in her chest. When she thought about the night she and Aion spent at the ball, she knew it wasn't the same as what it would be with Alessio. Umber orbs returned to look at her hands, fingers laces and sat on the oak of the tables. Cyan had never tried to develop any sort of feelings for the Ravenclaw Alumni - it had happened all by accident. She'd convinced herself from the first day they'd met, in the same hall at a table not so far away, that they'd be best friends and nothing more. Aion had a future, he had so many things that he was going to do with his life. He was tall and strong and she was a girl with gap teeth and little to no ambition with magic. Aion had told her all of the wonderful things about her she'd never seen, and Cyan knew she only saw those things when she was by his side.

She needed to break things off with Alessio before it got to hard, and when he entered the great hall she wondered if her resolve would crumble - however if it did she needed to push on. The rebellion of dating a muggle born was over, and she needed to move onto what she wanted for her future. Who she wanted.

 

[Alessio Benivieni]

Alessio's semester was going really well, he just needed to push himself to get his grades to a much higher standard because this year was NEWT Year and it meant that after those he didn't have much of a chance to do well in school. Besides, he was planning on getting a job next year, though he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life still. Maybe he could talk to the one person who he trusted the most at the moment, his girlfriend. Alessio figured he could find her in the common room if he didn't run into her sooner.

Al ran up the steps to the dorms to get something. He had thought a lot about this recently and he wanted to know what Cyan would think of it. He smiled as he rummaged in the drawers of his bedside table looking for the small package. Finally, he closed the drawers, and instead looked underneath the pillow. Still nothing. Ah. There it was - under the bed. How did it get there? Well, at least he had it now. He put it away safely in his pocket and when he stood back up, he noticed a piece of paper lying on his bed. He frowned, tentatively opening the letter. It was from Cyan. Hopefully, since she wanted to see him, she would accept his gift. It had been delivered to him when he'd asked his cousin Jonah to get it for him when he had time and he'd been rather surprised at how quickly he had managed to get it for Less.

Something nagged in the back of his mind as he stuffed the letter in his pocket, he sincerely hoped Cyan was okay, because whatever she wanted to see him for made him worry. Cyan meant everything to him. He loved her, he wanted her to know that even if she didn't feel the same way. Although the words had been exchanged, Alessio knew that recently Cyan was preoccupied about something. As he approached the hufflepuff table and met Cyan's gaze, the seventh year smiled. She always looked beautiful and somehow made his day brighter. He was glad to see she looked okay, however. "Hey," he greeted, planting a kiss on her lips and smiling at her. "You okay?" he asked her, then remembered about the small gift. "Oh, and I got you something," he told her, pulling out the necklace which was still wrapped in the small box.
​

 

[Cyan Zephyr]

Holding the composure that Cyan held was emotionally exhausting. She would surely need a nap after all of this was over. The porcelain skinned girl only finally looked from her hands when she heard her boyfriend's voice. Cyan didn't know what to say at first, but it was obvious he had his own agenda and thoughts, as he pulled from his pocket a gift. The puff didn't even want to open the box. Things were a blur in her mind and Cyan knew that being blunt was the best way to go about leaving Alessio. "Weneedtobreakup." The words all fled her mouth at once. Cyan couldn't bare to make eye contact with Alessio, and instead stared back down at her hands. After a moment she gained the courage to speak. "Alessio i really like you, but I don't know if this whole relationship thing is... right." She finally finished, obviously struggling through a fog to find her words. She'd been so well rehearsed and it all fell apart in an instant. Instead she felt tears poke at her inner corners, and she had to blink quickly to refuse them. however they didn't take no for an answer, and spilled over her waterline, and down her freckled cheeks. Did she owe him more? It didn't matter if she did, she was going to speak it anyways. "I think... I wanted to date you because it was something I was never supposed to do. And that you were comforting. I don't doubt that I care about you, but I just don't think.... We should continue. I don't want to hurt you but I know it's best for us to do this if we want to be happy." Cyan fought back her own emotions to form a coherent sentence before going silent, waiting to hear him.

 

[Alessio Benivieni]

At first, Alessio didn't know if what he heard had been right. Cyan seemed to be speaking in a rush, and the seventh year was concerned about what she was trying to say. When she continued however, in a more comprehensible manner, his smile turned to a confused one, and he furrowed his eyebrows. Was she...breaking up with him? How did he even happen? Why was she all of a sudden wanting to distance herself away from him? He wanted to reach out, to comfort her or even convince her that this wasn't - didn't seem right. Just to end things like this. Without talking about it first. Well, that part was easy. Cyan was doing all of the talking. But all that came out was a dry "What?" Al simply didn't get it. Yesterday she was fine, or at least she had come across as okay. Did Alessio fail to notice that she hadn't in fact been okay? Alessio remained silent as she carried on, and he tried to smile at her, tell her that it didn't matter, but all that he managed to do was to grimace. Because it in fact did matter to Alessio, more than he would even care to admit. Still holding the gift in his hand, Al glanced down, before finally finding his voice again. "Cyan, I...I love you. Why are you doing this? Is there something I did wrong?" Because if he had, he knew they could get over this and move on. Maybe all he needed to do was be there for her more often, if that's what it was. He's do anything to avoid an awkward breakup. Anything.
​

 

[Cyan Zephyr]

Cyan wanted every step of this to be easy, but it wasn't. Even though she wasn't in love with Alessio she never wanted to cause any pain to him. However, it wasn't easy to pretend to want something you didn't. Cyan needed to be honest. "Alessio it is nothing you did. You were amazing, and a great kisser, and you're really smart." She spoke, all the positives easy to say, the negatives on the other hand... "When i didn't come back to the castle with you I got into a scrap with some girl whom had been around Aion. Afterwards we went back to his car and talked about things." She spoke. This was nauseating. Was this going to ruin her chances of remaining friends with the Hufflepuff. "And while we were talking I realized that I was with you for the wrong things." She spoke, sniffing back any other emotions that were bound to eventually come fourth. "When I found out I wasn't pureblood, my father told me it didn't matter and that i needed to keep pretending for his namesake. And I couldn't do it. I told you and you accepted me with open arms. I thought of all the things I'd never been allowed to do, like talk with muggle-borns, especially not date them." She looked at her nails, the pastel pink not particularly pleasing to her tear coated eyes at that moment. "So when you were so nice to me and I remember you kissing me I just... I thought maybe my dad was wrong. And he was, but I don't think it's fair to keep dating you just because i want to prove my father wrong." She spoke, finally making eye contact with Alessio. "I love you, Less. But I'm not in love with you."

 

[Alessio Benivieni]

Hearing Cyan telling him that he did nothing wrong did nothing to ease the ache he was feeling right now. He didn't know what to say. Or even how to react. He was feeling a mix of emotions, currently, and he didn't even want to be in the room anymore. He listened to what she had to say, and at the mention of Aion he felt a spark of jealousy but reminded himself that they had probably been good friends before he was, with Cyan. Something nagged in the back of his mind, but Less couldn't place a finger on it. Something about that day in brightstone, when Cyan seemed very excited to see Aion. Back then he had thought it adorable that she was that excited for Alessio to meet her best friend, but now... he didn't like where this was going. He hardly wanted to know what they talked about, it was kind of nauseating. "What does that even mean..." he muttered to himself, being together for the wrong reasons? Ouch. Alessio did understand what she was saying, but he didn't want to believe it. "Are you in love with Aion?" he finally decided to ask, though he was convinced of the answer. If there was something he was taking from this, it was that Cyan didn't feel the same way he did about her, something deeper than he let on.​

 

[Cyan Zephyr]

Cyan's umber orbs welled up with tears as she watched Alessio's face. She couldn't continue to stare at him and her eyes dropped down to her lap once more. This was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Every kiss replayed in her mind over and over, it wasn't as if things between them had been bad, or hard - she just couldn't lie to him to make him happy. The tears that threatened her very existence only spilled when Alessio asked a question that Cyan knew he didn't want to know the answer about. Her face screwed up and her breathing became a ragged mess. "I... don't know. Maybe." She spoke quietly. "Yes." She finally answreed, looking up at Alessio. "When we were in his car he told me he was in love with me but I didn't know what to say Less so I pretended to be asleep. I didn't answer him because I didn't want to hurt you. But I can't get that moment out of my mind, Less. I always thought maybe he was out of my league, and that I wasn't good enough for him and he is in love with me and I don't know what to do because I love him back. I care about you so much, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think the next time I saw Aion I'd kiss him. And that's not fair to you." Cyan took in a few deep breaths before grabbing Alessio's hand. "You are a fantastic person. Heart break doesn't change that. You're gonna find someone who cares about you in a different way than I do. I just hope you'll still let me be your friend after all of this settles." Cyan sniffed, finally making solid eye contact with him.

 

[Alessio Benivieni]

Alessio couldn't bear to see Cyan in tears, and it only dawned on him as he asked the question that Cyan could be hurting as much as the boy was right now, if not more. And he didn't like to see her like this. Even though Alessio's heart was beating fast because he hadn't naturally anticipated this, he didn't want her to feel worse because she realised she loved someone else more than the puff. "Then you should go after him," he said quietly, no malice in his tone, it was simply encouraging. The words felt strange coming out of his mouth, but what else could he say? Al wanted Cyan to be happy. Alessio let out a sigh, and when she took his hand he glanced down. "Of course we'll stay friends. I just need some time, if that's...okay," he said, trying hard not to avoid eye contact with the girl. He didn't want to lose a friendship he knew was a good one, just because of some stupid breakup.
​

 

[Cyan Zephyr]

Cyan sniffed back her tears again, looking at Alessio, wishing she knew what he was thinking in that moment. However she didn't wait long and his blessing nearly brought a fresh wave of tears. The student stood up and embraced him, hugging him so close she might pop his back. "Thank you." She whispered gently, glad he'd still be her friend and glad he'd still understand. Now Cyan needed to write Aion, she needed to say something to him. Perhaps she would even try and get Alessio a new date to the Yule ball - hopefully someone who could benefit from the gift as well. As guilty as she felt Cyan parted from Alessio after a moment and smiled. "You're a great friend." She murmured before making her way past him and out of the Great Hall.