Sandy Beaches and Cold Hospitals

Kiera was relieved as James came to stand by her, his protective arms wrapping around her fragile frame. She felt safer with him by her side. It was like they could conquer the world. But something was very wrong. James should not be crying as he told her he loved her. Kiera looked quizzically up at him. "I love you too." she said, her voice hoarse. She was still confused as he apologized to her. What did James need to apologize to her for? The next four words out of his mouth answered all her questions. Her child was gone. She would not look upon it's face in four more months. Her child was dead.

It felt like Kiera's heart was going to shatter into a billion little shards like a broken piece of glass. Her chest burned anew with agony and despair. Kiera had been wrong and James was right not to want a child. Tears streamed down her face as she looked up at the love of her life. The shared the same agony of loss for their unborn child. Kiera shook her head. This had to be her fault. She was not right to bare children and yet she still had to ask him. "What happened? What did I do wrong?" she asked, placing the blame on herself.
 
James looked down at his wife feeling both the pain and the anguish that she felt however he knew that he had to remain strong for her and so even though he wanted to cry with her he instead took a breath and composed himself, he had his time to mourn and now it was time to be strong and let his wife mourn while he explained to her what the Healers had told him. "It wasn't your fault Kiera" James said stiffly though trying to remain loving for his dear wife. "There were complications" James said knowing that once he explained what those complications were, Kiera was going to feel even worse about herself. James had also found out that the baby they had lost had been a little girl, there daughter had not survived and he knew that Kiera would be devastated even more if she knew. "There was something wrong and the Healers didn't see it before hand" James tried to explain not sure if he should or not because he knew telling Kiera would only hurt her even further.

"When you were attacked" James began trying to explain after taking a deep breath, "By that thing in Bleak Street, it punctured your stomach" James said slowly though it was very difficult to do so. "You haven't recovered from it at least not fully" James said trying to sound like the Healers had when they had explained it to him. "Giving your size and the internal damage, the baby was not able to grow properly" James said wishing that he didn't have too. "It's been in a weaken state, trying to survive for the last few days but we couldn't tell" James explained trying to hold onto his strength "Something was slowly killing her" James said as he leaned down and held his wife feeling as though what there world had been this morning would never be the same again. "The Healers don't know if the damage to your stomach will heal or not" James continued though his voice was barely over a whisper now as he bared through with clenched teeth to get through the rest of what he had to say. "They don't know if you'll ever be able to carry a child to full term" James said slowly and full of sadness. The Healers had said it was a miracle the little girl that almost was had survived this long but James wouldn't tell Kiera that, not when her heart was already broken.
 
Tears ran down the small brunette's face like raindrops. How could everything have been so perfect just earlier that morning? Even through her despair she noticed he had stopped crying. She knew he was trying to be stong for her, to protect her from something invisible. Pain. He couldn't change what they lost and now they were just going to have to deal with the loss. The pain of losing a child was like nothing she had ever felt before. Her heart could not mend itself, at least not now. It would be months if she ever got over the loss of her first child. Kiera frowned slightly as he said complications, the healers didn't see it beforehand....They had seen her size and told her that might be a problem but it had been the only thing that they had mentioned. What was wrong with her? Panic began to rise in her chest once more. There was something more seriously wrong with her. Kiera looked up at her husband, worry on her face. Would this affect any other children they wanted? "There's something wrong with me? Something bad?" she asked, tears still coming from her brown eyes.

Kiera watched James, seeing how hard this was for him. It broken her heart a little more. The young woman never wanted to make her husband unhappy and yet this was her fault. She had convinced him that having a child would be a good thing in their life. Kiera felt like she was getting a stabbed to the chest when James revealed that this was all a complication from Bleak Street. Was she ever going to recover? Would that night ever just vanish and stop reeking havoc in her life? Fresh tears came spilling out of her eyes as he said the baby was struggling the past few days. "It was struggling and I didn't know it." her voice was barely audiable. Pain was searing through every bone in her body. The news just kept getting worse as James talked. No children.....the wound would never heal.....Kiera's head was spinning. Everything was taken from her in that moment. Everything except James but she had devestated him. This was all her fault that he was feeling heartbroken like she was. "I am so sorry." she said in a broken sob.
 
"Don't" James said as he held Kiera closer, the devastation she was feeling was his fault right now. He didn't know why he had told her what had happened, perhaps it was too soon. James looked out in the hallway where there families stood feeling the sadness that they felt even though there was nothing any of them could do to help their children. "Please Kiera don't blame yourself" James said as he kissed her forehead once more, "It was that monster's fault not yours, you did nothing wrong" James said as he thought about what had lead up to this point. Kiera did not deserve this pain and James knew that he would have to do something about it, he would have to find a way for Kiera to be able to carry a baby to full term if she was ever to recover from what had happened on that day. "She was just.." James could finish, he couldn't describe what their daughter had been going through the entire time she was in the womb, fighting something that was trying to kill her.

James didn't think that his daughter was weak even though she had lost the battle for her life, James knew that he had to help Kiera get better but he didn't know how. James didn't know what to say to help his wife bear through the pain she was feeling at the moment, "Kiera, I promise you that we'll get through this" James said hoping that he was right. "Our love can survive anything and I promise you that you will be able to have kids, I don't care what I have to do to make it possible" James said to his wife as a thought appeared in his mind. The man who had asked him to 'save him', was this some sort've punishment because James hadn't been able to do what he asked. Did that man who came from the creature that had been the cause of all of this really have the power to cause such pain on the two Potters. "Kiera, it's not your fault" James repeated hoping that she would believe him.
 
Kiera was semi-comforted by the closeness to James. He held her tightly in his arms. It was nice to know that he didn't blame her for what happened to their baby, even if she blamed herself. She felt like she was drowning. It might be the monster's fault but she was the reason they had been on Bleak Street in the first place. "It's my fault we were there. I should have been stronger." she said, a bit irrationally. She buried her face in his shoulder. This was one of the worse experiences that had ever taken place in her life. Kiera paused for a minute as she caught something James had said. "She?" she asked, tears clouding her eyes. "The baby was a little girl?" she asked, wondering what else James was keeping from her. "Little Emma...." she whispered, thinking about the name they had picked out earlier that morning.

A little girl that Kiera loved with every fiber of her being. She had been murdered inside her mother by something Kiera couldn't control. Her mind was wandering down the path of her unborn child. Everything that the child would not be able to know, feel, or see. New tears spilled over out of her eyes. She was devestated. Kiera listened to her husband's promises but shaking her head. "I will love you forever, no matter what happens. You are my perfect match in every way." she started out by saying. "But if I don't heal, if the damage is permenant then we will never have children." she said, her voice weak with exhaustion and pain. She had lost a lot of blood and was in critical condition. All the pain and hurt in her heart was not good for her physical condition.
 
James didn't know what to say, he didn't want to push the issue of having another child at least not right now since James knew that she was in pain. James did however know that he would have to try to help Kiera, He just didn't know how at the moment. James looked at his wife and could tell that she was tired though he wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone with her thoughts at the moment. "Do you want me to leave so you can get some sleep?" James asked as he looked down at her, the people outside would need to hear some information about how Kiera was doing and he knew that he was going to have to face them. James didn't want to, since he really just wanted to be with Kiera in her moment of need but also knew that if she wanted him to leave her be then he would.

sorry for the short reply... tired
 
Kiera heard James' question but didn't respond for a moment. She was tired but afraid that her dreams would turn into nightmares about the baby she no longer had. Still, she didn't know if she could continue to face James, knowing she had hurt him. So, Kiera simply nodded her head, feeling a bit faint. Maybe later she could talk to a healer. The healer might have some options as to how to heal the young woman internally. Kiera smiled slightly at her husband. It was a forced smile though she tried to make it look believable. "Go ahead. I'll be okay. I'll try to get some more rest." she said, trying to sound positive for James. Even though she felt like her heart had just been ripped from her chest, she didn't want James to be hurting. "You probably need some rest too." she said, unaware of how long she had been out of it. She closed her brown eyes, letting the pain wash over her and hoping that no tears gave away how deeply she had been wounded.

Its okay :D
 
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